


Tin Man

by Prophetandprincess



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Attempted Sexual Assault, Bittersweet Ending, Blood, Bucky Barnes Feels, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Gun Violence, Kissing, Marvel Universe, Minor Character Death, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Threats, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-05-25 19:22:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 121,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6207391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prophetandprincess/pseuds/Prophetandprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexandra is a 22 year old college junior studying Biochemistry. Since she moved to the city from a small Midwest town 2 years before she has had a colorful dating history, but all of her exes have taught her skills to survive in the city. However, walking home one night, one of the exes, Markus, decides that Alex’s smart mouth needs to learn a lesson. She is saved by a mysterious stranger who doesn't have a lot to say and has a metal arm. This act of kindness sets off a series of events that turn her life into something straight out of a movie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank my three beta readers for helping me and encouraging me to actually finish writing this fic. You three are the best.

“You shouldn’t be walking by yourself at night A.J.” Mrs. Malone said as Alexandra helped her close the restaurant for the night. “Let me give you a ride home.”  
  
Alexandra shook her head as she threw on the army jacket she got from the Salvation Army the week before. She was glad that she had finally gotten Mrs. Malone to call her A.J. instead of Alexandra Jade - Alexandra Jade Harper just sounded so pretentious.  
  
“It is in the complete opposite direction of where you have to be and your daughter is waiting for you. It’s only ten-thirty, I’ll be fine.” A.J. said as she put on her baseball cap backwards. She didn’t mention that she also had brass knuckles in her back pocket and a switchblade in her boot. The streets of New York didn’t scare her, but she had learned that it is better to be safe than sorry.  
  
“Alright love, if you’re sure?” Alex nodded her head. “Well, make sure to text me when you get to your place. Don’t study too hard.” Mrs. Malone said as they walked out into the misty evening. Alex waited as Mrs. Malone locked the front door and got to the door of her car before she started down the sidewalk.  
  
“Have a nice night Mrs. Malone, give Sandy a hug for me.” Alex called as she flipped up the collar of her jacket against the autumn wind.  
  
“Will do, don’t forget to let me know when you get home,” Mrs. Malone said as she slipped into the car.  
  
Alex waved to show that she heard, but didn’t say anything back. The city that never sleeps was surprisingly quiet for a Friday night. Alex had grown up in a small Midwest town and had moved to the city to go to college. She missed her parents, but the excitement and freedom of the city was something she had craved for years.  
  
Still, it would be nice not to walk home alone most nights to an empty apartment. Alex had had quite a few boyfriends since she moved two years ago, but most of them had been little more than semi-permanent sex partners. The switchblade in her boot was actually a gift from ex-boyfriend number four who had been worried about her safety. He had reminded her a bit of her brother Jake after a while, who had been so worried about her safety that he taught her to box when she was eleven. This connection was one of the many reasons they broke up, though his two other girlfriends also had something to do with it. Most of the other guys had ended up getting themselves into legal trouble. Not the type to take home to mom and dad.  
  
Three blocks from the restaurant, a light autumn rain started to fall. Alex flipped up the collar of her jacket, but she quickly became cold and cranky. She hummed quietly to herself, wishing that she could listen to her iPod. The streets might not scare her, but Alex knew better than to take one of her senses away when walking alone at night.  
  
Five blocked away from the restaurant, music spilled out of a bar as drunken men stumbled onto the dark sidewalk. This was a normal occurrence so Alex paid little attention, just kept walking. If you didn’t pay attention to them, they usually left you alone.  
  
“Well, if it isn’t little Alexandra Jade?” An all too familiar voice asked behind her. The statement was followed by snickering.  
  
“Why me?” Alex said under her breath. She put her head down and walked faster. Footfall distinguished itself from the bar music as she got further down the block. There were at least three men, maybe more. Alex reached into her back pocket and slid her brass knuckles onto her fingers.  
  
“Come on A.J. Come and give me a kiss, for old time’s sake.” The voice called out again. It was the voice of ex number seven, Markus. They had broken up six months before because Markus liked getting drunk with his friends more than he enjoyed being a decent human being.  
  
“She’s smaller than your usual pick isn’t she?” Another voice, one Alex didn’t recognize, asked loud enough so she would hear. Alex clenched her jaw so that words didn’t spill from her lips. She was outnumbered and they were drunk. If she just kept walking they would leave her alone. She would be too much work at that point.  
  
“She’s a tiger in bed though. You should give her a go,” Markus laughed. That was too much for Alex.  
  
“Well, I had to make up for your lack of knowledge of the female anatomy and small dick,” she said, turning to look at her groupies. There was three, Markus in the middle with his two idiot henchman on either side. They were larger and taller than Alex, but she thought she could out run them if she needed to.  
  
The two idiots on either side chuckled, but Markus’s forehead furrowed.  
  
“That’s not what you were saying then, bitch.” Markus wiped spit from his mouth. Alex knew that look, it was the look he had the night he punched a hole in his apartment wall. He wasn’t just drunk, he was on something too. Perfect.  
  
“Haven’t you heard of faking it? I’m sure you have since all of the women you’ve slept with must have done it.” Alex started to walk backward. Her combat boots sounded loud on the pavement. Good to use as weapons, but bad for running.  
  
“You gonna let this little bitch talk to you like that?” One of the henchman said with a wicked drunk grin. Probably a sadist, which would explain why he was friends with Markus.  
  
“No, I’m going to show her I know how to pleasure a girl. You boys want to help?” That was Alex’s cue to leave. She turned and just started to run.  
  
She got three blocks.  
  
An arm wrapped around Alex’s waist and dragged her into a side alley. Alex screamed as loud as possible, but there wasn’t anyone on the streets. No one had their windows open due to the weather, and the scream just echoed.  
  
Alex got her body turned around enough to hit someone in the jaw with her brass knuckles. Curses poured from the bloodied lips as they stumbled backward. It wasn't Markus. The forward momentum gave Alex the chance to get out of her capture’s grasp. She stumbled face first into a brick wall.  
  
“You think you’re so damn smart.” Markus’s voice was right in her ear as he pressed himself against her back. She smelled cheap beer on his breath.  
  
Alex brought her foot down on his and pushed off the wall. Markus grabbed onto her shoulder and they both went down onto the trash strewn pavement. As one of the other men came to help hold her, Alex’s boot hit him right in the crotch. He went down heavily.  
  
Then Markus was on top of her again, hands trying to pin her and spit flying from his mouth as he cursed her. Alex got her arm free and slammed her brass knuckles into Markus’s face. She heard a satisfying crunch, but Markus was either so drunk, so high, or so angry that it hardly slowed him down. His backhanded her across her face, causing her nose to bleed and light explode behind her eyes. Alex moved to punch him again, but Markus grabbed her arm. As she fought Markus worked the brass knuckles off her fingers and threw them to the side.  
  
“Get off me Markus!” Alex hoped that if she screamed loud enough that he would snap out of his drunken rage or someone would hear her. Markus was many things, but she never thought he was a rapist.  
  
It didn’t work. No one came.  
  
“I said quiet.” Markus brought his knee down into her stomach, knocking all the air out of her lungs. Alex wheezed while Markus started to paw at the buttons on her army coat.  
  
Alex reached out in a blind panic with her free hand to find a weapon. She grabbed the only thing that her hands landed on, a metal trash can lid. She swung it around and hit Markus in his eyes. She felt the blood splatter on her face, it felt warm and heavy compared to the rain. He swore and she rolled out from underneath him, reaching for the knife in her boot, but her hands were shaking so badly she couldn’t grab it.  
  
Then Markus was on her again, ripping her trashcan weapon out of her hand. Alex scratched him hard across the right side of his face, going for his eyes again, but only got his cheek. Then she was completely pinned and Markus’s blood was dripping onto her face and his alcohol breath was suffocating her.  
  
“I’m going to teach you a lesson. You like learning don’t you.” Markus spat on her, bring his fist down on her face again. Alex’s vision blacked out for a few seconds and panic was starting to cause her to hyperventilate.  
  
Suddenly the weight was lifted off her. Alex looked up to see a tall male figure throw Markus as if he was a rag doll across the alley and into the wall. She scrambled to her feet and found her brass knuckles lying a few feet away. However, she didn’t need them. The man had Markus by the throat with one arm and punching him repeatedly with the other. Blood was streaming out of Markus’s mouth and nose and it looked like he had lost consciousness.  
  
He’s going to kill him was the first thought that Alexandra could hook onto through the adrenaline and panic. Alex had no love for Markus, but she didn’t want to see him beat to death. Mostly because she didn’t want to explain it to the cops.  
  
“That’s enough. He’s out cold.” Alex’s voice was breathless and not loud enough. Her savior didn’t stop pounding into Markus. The amount of blood coming out of Markus’s face was alarming, Alex couldn’t even see his features.  
  
“Stop it! You’re going to kill him!” Alex tried to grab the man’s arm, but instead of flesh her fingers met with cold metal. The man turned and looked at her, his eyes were expressionless. Alex had heard the description “dead eyes” before, but she had never seen anything that even remotely fit the description until now.  
  
The metal arm she was holding onto slipped out of her grasp and flew backward, slamming into her rib cage and tossing her backward. Alex hit the asphalt, wrist first, and all the air left her lungs again. Lights danced in front of her eyes, but all she could think of was stopping that man from killing Markus. It would be horrible if the man who saved her went to jail for killing him.  
  
Alex’s legs were shaky underneath her as she got back up and stumbled toward the man.  
  
“You have to stop, you have to…” The words were barely audible, but she grabbed onto the other arm and found flesh. The dead eyes found her again, but she was having difficulty concentrating due to the pain and lack of oxygen. When she finally focused on them, she watched as something changed, a switch was flipped, and he let Markus drop to the ground in a heap. Alex held her breath until she saw that Markus was still, somehow, breathing.  
  
Alexandra let go of the man with a metal arm and leaned against the wall to get air back in her lungs. Everything that had just happened, what would have happened to her, started to catch up with her. Alex’s legs gave out from under her. A sob escaped her throat, but she swallowed it down. It was not the time to cry in an alley. She felt the presence of the man next to her, but he didn’t say or do anything to comfort her. She figured she should be happy he wasn’t beating the shit out of her.  
  
Slowly she got her breathing under control and stopped shaking enough to get to her feet. The other two men were motionless on the ground, but they didn’t look dead. She didn’t want to check. The man who saved her was standing completely still, looking at her as if she was a science experiment, blood dripping off his knuckles.  
  
“Who are you?” Alex asked as she leaned against the wall to keep herself upright. She started to feel the pain in her ribs and wrist as well as the fact that her face had started to swell. The man with the metal arm said nothing. She couldn’t take the silence, it was making her anxious after so much noise.  
  
“Alright Tin Man, stay silent.” Alex decided to use her anger and frustration to stop herself from crying. “I don’t know what grudge you have with Markus, but I’d have been fine. I didn’t need your help.” Alex knew the words were a lie as soon as they were out of her mouth, but it made her feel better to say. She walked over and grabbed her baseball cap out of a puddle. She didn’t put it back on. It was soaked through with Lord knows what. Instead, she found a wet hair tie on her wrist and yanked her long blonde hair into a ponytail.  
  
The man still said nothing.  
  
“I’m going to call an ambulance to pick these guys up. You should get out of here.” Alex walked to the edge of the alleyway to see exactly where she was. She felt the man follow her, but he stayed completely silent, his eyes just watching her. Alex pretended to kneel down to tie her boot, which hurt so much more than it should have, and slipped her switchblade into her jacket sleeve.  
  
“Do you want to get arrested? Is that why you helped me in the first place?” Alex pulled her phone out of her pocket, thankful that it was still in one piece. She tried to hit code on the unlock screen, but her fingers were shaking so badly and so bloody that it just smeared on the screen.  
  
“I don’t know him. I wanted to stop them from hurting you.” The voice was low and rusty, but it could only belong to one person. Alex turned and looked at him.  
  
The street light illuminated his face. A beard covered his lower jaw and his black hair was shoulder length. His hair and clothes were unwashed. Was he a homeless man on a heroin high giving him unnatural strength? But then again, she had never seen a homeless man with a metal arm. She hadn’t seen anyone with a metal arm. War vet maybe?  
  
“Funny, you don’t look the good Samaritan type. So why stop and help me?” Alex wiped the screen of her phone on her pant leg and tried to unlock it again.  
  
“I thought you were someone else.” The man said, pushing rain slicked hair out of his blue eyes. They were alive now, but there was something about him that Alex couldn’t put her finger on, and not just the whole Hulking out in the alley thing. It was almost as if she should recognize him. However, she was certain that she would remember knowing someone with a metal arm.  
  
“Is this someone a friend or enemy?” Alex asked as the painful throb in her wrist reminded her that she had been attacked by this man as well. Her breathing was shallow because of the shot he gave her to her ribs, a few were at least bruised. Alex put a few steps of distance between the two of them.  
  
“I don’t know.” The man said. Alex snorted at the answer, but when she saw the confusion on the man’s face she stopped the comment on her lips. They stood there, staring at one another, neither exactly sure what to do.  
  
“I’m going to call the cops now so you should make yourself disappear,” which was what she planned to do.  
  
“I’m going to make sure you get home safe. Women should not walk alone at night.” The man’s voice was warming up, becoming less rusty. When was the last time he had spoken to someone?  
  
“I don’t think so.” Alex said dialing 9-1-1 in case she needed it, now that her savior might turn into a villain.  
  
“It wasn’t a request.” The man said.  
  
“My answer is still no.” Alex was going to stand her ground, even if it killed her, which with this guy it probably would. The phone started to ring and the 9-1-1 dispatcher picked up.  
  
“9-1-1 what’s your emergency?”  
  
“There are three unconscious men in an alley. They look as if they were in one hell of a fight. One isn’t breathing too well.”  
  
“Alright can you give me your name and location?” The dispatcher asked. Alex explained where the alley was, but hung up without giving her name. She walked out of the alley and tried to ignore the pain in her entire body, as she limped down the sidewalk. She felt the presence of the man behind her.  
  
“Do you not understand what ‘no’ means?” Alex asked, but she didn’t have the energy to turn around and look at him.  
  
“Either I walk with you, or I shadow you without you knowing, it’s your decision.” The man said in a completely monotone voice.  
  
“Listen Tin Man, I appreciate your help. I do. But you just beat three men senseless and threw me on my ass. So, no offence, I’m not going to take you home like a stray cat.” Alex turned and looked at him after they were off the street the alley was on. Alex could hear the sirens in the distance.  
  
“Tin Man?”  
  
“Your arm.”  
  
“It’s not tin.” The man stopped under a street light and pulled away the tattered shirt to show his arm. Alex’s curiosity got the better of her as she took a step forward to get a better look, though she kept a good amount of distance between them. It was beat to hell, scrapped up with large dents in the metal along with a cut that let her see only darkness, yet Alex could tell that it was master craftsmanship. There was a red star, the paint chipped at this point, up on the shoulder.  
  
“I stand corrected, that still doesn’t mean I’m going to take you home.” Alex said tempering her anger a bit. She was in too much pain at this point to be angry. The Tin Man pulled his shirt down and just gave her a look. It was a mixture of confusion and something else that she couldn’t put her finger on.  
  
Alex started walking away, but turned around after a few steps, he was still under the street light. She walked half the block and turned around again, he was still under the street light, framed by the falling rain. At the end of the block she turned around and the man was gone.  
  
Alex finally got to her apartment building, which thankfully did not have a doorman. However, when she put her key in to the front door she stopped. She could feel him out there, watching her.  
  
“I know you’re out there. You said you would be, Tin Man. Come on out.” Alex called into the darkness, feeling like an idiot as she did so. He said he was going to follow her and she led him right to her house. Then again, it wasn’t like she had anywhere else to go. She didn’t have any friends in the city.  
  
Nothing moved, and there was only the normal sounds of the city at night. Alexandra waited. He appeared out of nowhere as quiet as death. One moment there was nothing and then there was a man beside her.  
  
“I’m going to give you a change of clothes. You can’t walk around like that, you’re covered in blood. Wait here.” Alex said as she opened the door to her building and went inside, making sure to pull the door closed behind her. He could probably break down the door easily, but it still made her feel better.  
  
Alexandra took the stairs two at a time to her fifth floor apartment and let herself inside. Her legs were protesting and her lungs were on fire, but she pushed through it. She didn’t like being in someones debt, and she would feel better if she gave him something for saving her from Markus. She found some of her ex’s clothes, she wasn’t sure which one, which were still in the apartment and ran back down the stairs.  
  
She stopped at the door, dreading that he would still be there and yet a small part hoping that he would be.  
  
“Well Alex, you have already almost been killed once. What’s one more time,” she said to herself as she pushed the door open. The alley was empty. Alexandra tried to pretend that her heart didn’t sink to her boots as she took another step out into the alley and looked around. Nothing.  
  
“Damn Tin Man,” She mumbled to herself.  
  
“You swear a lot.” A voice said right next to her. She dropped the clothes, but a metal hand stretched out and caught them.  
  
“You do not sneak up on someone who was just jumped!” Alex screamed, and then winced as pain shot from her ribs. “You don’t sneak up on people period.” The man said nothing as he looked at the clothes in his hand, which were slowly getting drenched by the rain.  
  
“I don’t know if they’ll fit. You are rather…” Alex looked at his well-toned, very muscled, tall, imposing body, “large, but it’s the best I could do.”  
  
The man handed the clothes back to her. Alex thought he was refusing them and was starting to get angry again, but instead he took off his old tattered shirt. He looked just as toned without the clothes as he did with them.  
  
“Oh you’re going to change right here, awesome.” Alexandra said, looking away briefly, but then looking back because, well, it was impressive. Her eyes caught a pair of dog tags that hit his chest, they looked old and battered. This led her to stare at the scar tissue around the metal at his shoulder.  
  
Then the shirt was on. It was tight across his chest, but it wasn’t busting at the seams or anything. He threw the black hoodie on as well and looked somewhat more respectable. They both looked at the sweatpants that were still in Alex’s hands.  
  
“You probably shouldn’t change into these out here.” Alex said as she took them and hugged them to her chest. “Do you have a place to stay? Out of the rain? Where you can change into these?”  
  
The man said nothing, just looked at her.  
  
“Tin Man, do you have some place to sleep so you won’t rust?” Alex enunciated every word. She knew she shouldn’t try the temper of this man, but she couldn’t help herself. It wasn’t in her nature not to speak her mind. Actually, it wasn’t in her nature not to speak.  
  
“I’ll be fine.” He finally said.  
  
“I don’t doubt that, but that isn’t what I asked.” Alex raked her hands through her hair, which at this point was a soaking wet mess that had slid out of the hair tie.  
  
“I’ll find someplace to sleep.” The man said. Alex could have sworn there was almost a hint of a smile on his face.  
  
“There’s an empty apartment on the fifth floor, the man moved out two days ago. If you have no place to sleep… I could give you some blankets since I don’t think there’s any furniture in there.”  
  
“I thought I wasn’t a stray cat.” The man said, this time there was the faintest hint of a smirk.  
  
“Are you sassing me Tin Man? Fine, sleep behind a dumpster. Don’t come meowing at my window or pawing at my door.” Alex opened the door and walked inside, but she didn’t pull it completely closed behind her. It wasn’t until she was half way up the first set of stairs that she looked behind her. He was right behind her, as silent as a ghost.  
  
By the third landing Alexandra was winded and she stopped. The man stopped beside her, his presence giving off the aura of a question.  
  
“Someone threw me to the ground and bruised my ribs. Give me a minute I’ll be fine.” Alex explained as she tried to get her air back.  
  
“Are you sure they are just bruised and not broken?” He asked.  
  
Alex felt a bit more at ease now that he was talking in more than one syllable. She still thought that she was completely insane for letting him in the building, but she was putting it down to temporary insanity due to being attacked.  
  
“I don’t know, I’ve never had broken ribs before.” Alex said, giving him a look as she started up the stairs again. She made it to the fifth floor and all she wanted to do was take a shower and climb into bed.  
  
“This is the apartment, now-” the man lifted his arm, obviously going to punch in the door, “What hell are you doing?” Alex grabbed his arm before he demolished the door.  
  
“You said that no one was in the apartment.”  
  
“I didn’t say vandalize it. People will notice if the door is in pieces. Wait a minute.” Alexandra opened the door to her own apartment and went to her kitchen drawer. She pulled out her lock picking tools, which she had learned how to use and stole from ex number three, Damon. She also went into her closet and pulled out a pillow and three blankets.  
  
The door was still intact when she came back outside. Alex handed the man the bedding and crouched down and got to work on the lock. It took her less than five minutes to get the lock open on the door. It would have been quicker if her wrist wasn’t twice its normal size. The door swung open to show a completely empty apartment, the street lights coming through the window.  
  
“There you go. I doubt you’ll be here in the morning, so I want to say thank you now. You can leave the blankets in here, I’ll come grab them. Or,” Alex couldn’t believe what she was about to say, “I get up at six every morning to run, you can give them to me then if you’re still around.”  
  
The man said nothing. Alex shook her head and walked out of the apartment.  
  
It was, by far, the weirdest night she had ever had. She never wanted to relive it. After doing what she could for her injuries in terms of ice and pain pills, Alexandra took a fast shower and crawled into bed.  
  
When her alarm went off at 5:30 the next morning she seriously considered smashing her phone against the wall. Instead, she pulled herself out of bed, battered and bruised. She had 14 missed calls and 37 missed texts from Mrs. Malone. Silently cursing herself, she sent Mrs. Malone a long text explaining that her phone had been malfunctioning last night before the older woman decided to send out the National Guard looking for her.  
  
As she changed into her running clothes she saw that there was a large bruise spanning her chest, another on her abdomen. Still, Alex tied up her sneakers, grabbed her IPod, and keys. She opened the door and looked across the hall. The door was closed, no way of knowing if the man is in there or not.  
  
The run was brutal and it was through sheer stubbornness that she did her normal route. When she got back the apartment she was starting to wonder if her ribs were actually broken. She dragged herself up the stairs, not even looking down the hallway until she got to her door.  
  
There he stood, the man with the metal arm. He had a white bakery bag in one hand, blankets and pillow in the other.  
  
“Well, good to know that you have some sort of manners.” Alex said, trying desperately to stop from smiling at the sight of him. It wasn’t hard since it hurt to smile. She still managed a small smirk. Alex realized at that moment that she was insane, but tried not to dwell on it.  
  
Alex unlocked the door to her apartment before turning and looking at the man. He handed over the bag, but kept the blankets and pillow.  
  
“Are you planning on staying for breakfast?” Alex asked, tilting her head to look at him. He looked far less threatening in the daylight and a lot more like a homeless man. Which made her wonder where he got the money for the baked goods? And when the last time he showered was. When had he brushed his teeth? She thought it better not to ask any of these questions.  
  
“If you are going to stay, what should I call you? I’m guessing you have a name.” Alex looked into the bag to find four different flavors of bagel. The man’s eyes looked at Alex for a long moment, making her slightly uncomfortable.  
  
“Or don’t tell me, that’s fine too.” Alex said softly as she moved around him to get into her apartment. “I’ll just continue calling you Tin Man.”  
  
“James.” The man said, causing Alex to turn and look at him. “You can call me James.”  
  
“Fair enough,” Alex got the door open and walked in. “Do you want milk with you bagel James? Or are you more of an orange juice person?”  
  
“Orange juice.” The man with the metal arm said as he walked in and closed the door behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I will be attempting to update twice a week, but life might get in the way.*

“I must be insane letting you in my apartment,” Alexandra said as she threw the blankets and pillow back into the closet. “You know that, right? You literally almost beat a man to death last night.” She turned to look at him, but he was just leaning against the counter looking at his feet. She knew she should stop talking, but when Alex was nervous her mouth kept going.  
  
“I mean, you do realize you almost killed Markus, right?” She asked as she disappeared into her bathroom to towel off and grab aspirin for the pain. She avoided looking in the mirror at all costs since she probably resembled a Picasso painting. She didn’t expect a reply and didn’t get one. She ripped her hair out of its ponytail and tossed a hoodie over her running gear.  
  
When she walked back into the kitchen, James hadn’t moved. Alex got two plates from the cupboard, and then swept all the papers on the small kitchen table onto the chair that wouldn’t be used.  
  
Alex could hear her mother yelling at her for letting someone into her house in its current unkempt condition. Grace Harper was the type of woman who got on her hands and knees to scrub all the floors in the house every week. Alex ran a Swiffer once a month if she thought about it.  
  
Then again, this guy was homeless with very questionable personal hygiene. Her mother would never have let him into the house in the first place. Alex doubted he gave a damn that she had papers all over the place.  
  
“What’s your name?” James asked.  
  
Alex looked up to see James looking at her through his hair. Alex put the plates down, wincing slightly, before heading to get glasses.  
  
“Alexandra, but I tell most people call me Alex or A.J. I think Alexandra sounds rather pretentious, I like the shorter versions better.” She found two clean mugs and decided they would work just fine. She walked around James to get into the fridge to get the orange juice and butter.  
  
“Defender of men,” James said softly to his feet.  
  
“What?” Alex asked as she poured two glasses of orange juice. James said nothing as Alex put the carton back in the fridge. She then went into the freezer and pulled out a bag of frozen corn. After laying it on her face for a few seconds, she moved the bag to her wrist since hurt like a bitch and twice its normal size. The whole time she waited for James to answer her, but when she looked at him, he was still staring at his feet, stringy black hair covering most of his face.  
  
“Tin Man, you know you can answer questions right? Unless you’ve rusted over.” Alex said. She dropped down into a chair, wincing at the pain from her ribs. There was no response.  
  
“Do you want any of these bagels?” Alex sighed as she pulled the bag toward her. “Or are you going to ignore that question too?” She opened the bag and pulled out the bagels to inspect them.  
  
A hand appeared in her line of vision, making Alex jump, and took one of the bagels. Fine scars covered the hand and the fingers were slightly misshaped, probably from being broken.  
  
James sat down lightly in the chair across from her and placed the bagel on the plate. His eyes roamed the table for a few moments before he reached down underneath the table. Alex couldn’t see what he was doing, but when he came up, he had a huge hunting knife in his hand.  
  
“Whoa,” panic twisted Alex’s stomach painfully. So he was a psychopath after all, great. At least he bought her breakfast before he decided to butcher her. She hoped it would be painless.  
  
“No knife,” James placed his elbows on the table.  
  
“That is definitely a knife.” Alex said, eyes wide, as she looked from James to the knife.  
  
“No knife for the butter.” He sounded almost exasperated that he had to clarify.  
  
“Then ask for one. Jesus Christ. You don’t just pull out a bear-killing knife from God knows where. Better yet, get it yourself. It’s the top drawer on the right of the sink.” Alex said, pointing in the general direction. She slouched back and started to breathe again. She rubbed her face and tried to figure out what the hell she was thinking. What possessed her to let a man into her apartment? Who just uses a hunting knife to butter a god damn bagel?  
  
James put the hunting knife down on the table and looked at Alex for a few moments. Then he got up without a word. He found the right drawer and came back with two butter knives. Flipping it around deftly, he handed one to Alex handle first.  
  
“Thanks,” Alex said. She wondered how many ways he knew how to kill her with it. She was going to make him leave after breakfast and then maybe move to another state so he could never find her again. Maybe even another continent.  
  
After buttering her bagel, which she let him do first, Alexandra pulled out her phone. She checked her twitter, Facebook, and email as she ate. Even the guilt of not answering her mother’s multiple emails couldn’t help her ignore the man across the table from her. She could feel his eyes on her, but didn’t say a word or make a sound.  
  
“Alright, I have to ask.” Alex put her phone down.  
  
James looked at her, but just kept eating. A couple of bites and then a sip of orange juice.  
  
“What’s your deal?” Alex leaned forward, placing her elbows on the table. James just kept chewing. Alex raised an eyebrow, determined to wait until he said something. She wouldn’t break first. She realized as she waited that the hunting knife had disappeared again. That wasn’t exactly comforting.  
  
She stayed quiet for about five minutes before she felt like screaming.  
  
“Tin Man, you’re supposed to be missing your heart, not tongue. Is there a reason you don’t talk or are you trying for the whole strong and silent type?” Alex asked as she moved the frozen corn from her wrist to her face.  
  
“You talk a lot,” was the response from her companion.  
  
“Point taken, I have a problem filtering between my brain and my lips sometimes.” Alex said with a weak smile. “It’s probably why I got into trouble last night. That doesn’t answer my question.”  
  
“That wasn’t your fault.” James said with conviction.  
  
“True,” Alex said with a shrug, “but if I would have just kept my mouth shut they would’ve left me alone. Just screamed some curses for a few blocks and then went on their way. I just couldn’t help myself.” Alex took the corn off her face. At this point it wasn’t helping anymore, it was just getting water all over her as it melted.  
  
“You did nothing wrong,” James said again. “Even if you did, no man should ever do what they were going to do to you.”  
  
Alex met his eyes. There was a clarity in them that hadn’t been there before. In the alley it was almost as if he had been medicated, in a haze, and now it had worn off. Alex felt as if he was looking past her eyes as well, trying to figure her out. It made her uncomfortable.  
  
“Yeah, well,” Alex looked down at her plate, “I could do without the bruised or broken ribs. Not to mention all this going on with my face.” Her voice was so low that she was talking more to herself than James. He said nothing, which didn’t surprise her.  
  
“Well,” Alex said after popping the last bit of bagel into her mouth. “I’m going to take a shower since I have work tonight. I don’t know what you want to do…There’s a TV in there.”  
  
Alex wanted to kick herself, hadn’t she said that she was going to kick him out of the apartment? What the hell was she doing? That’s when she realized that while she was still wary of James, she was also self-conscious around him. He was an actual person, an actual male person, and not just a very large predatory cat.  
  
James didn’t look up from buttering his second bagel.  
  
“Or you can just sit there with your bagel or return to Oz or whatever you want to do.” Alex drained her glass and got up to put her dishes into the sink. The sleeve of her hoodie was soaked from the melting bag of corn so she stripped it off and threw it into the living room. She turned to put the corn back into the freezer and there was James right in front of her. She gasped and jumped, but he didn’t seem to notice as he put his hands on her ribs.  
  
“Whoa, Jesus, excuse me,” Alex stepped back quickly and swatted his hands away out of reflex. James didn’t try to hold onto her, though she knew he could have easily made it so she couldn’t move. The heat from one hand and the cold from his metal fingers lingered on her skin.  
  
“I was checking your ribs to see if they are actually broken.” He said with no emotions in his voice.  
  
“Well, warn a girl before you put your cold metal hand on her.” She didn’t want to admit that her heart was also beating painfully hard and she needed time to slow it down. After last night she wasn’t overly fond of guys touching her, but that wasn’t all of it. Under all the dirt and hair, up close, he was actually kind of attractive.  
  
“Do you have experience diagnosing broken ribs?” She finally asked.  
  
“Just when they are my own,” James admitted.  
  
“How many times have you broken your ribs?”  
  
“I don’t know.” James said, his face crumpling in confusion.  
  
“I guess as a soldier it must happen so often that it’s hard to keep count. Especially since you have obviously seen action.” Alex rambled. She just wanted that look of confusion to disappear from his face. It was almost painful to see.  
  
“How did you know I was a soldier?” He tilted his head slightly.  
  
“Your dog tags, I saw them yesterday when you changed.” Alex felt herself blush a little at this confession, but tried to keep it under control. “I wear my grandfather’s so I knew they weren’t the stupid ones you get out of a vending machine.” Alex pulled out the set of beaten up dog tags that she wore all the time out from under her shirt. She had played with them constantly as a child and when her grandfather passed, he’d given them to her.  
  
“The name is rubbed off of mine,” he reached under his shirt and took out his tags. Alexandra cautiously reached out and, when he didn’t protest, took the battered tags into her hands. She flipped them between her fingers and tilted them toward the sun coming through the kitchen window. They were warm from his skin and even more beaten to hell than hers were. She thought they would be in better condition since they were newer. She wondered what kind of hell he had been in for his tags to look like this.  
  
“The name wasn’t rubbed off, it was etched off.” Her fingers traced over where the name should have been. “These are laser marks.” Ex-boyfriend number five had a garage that had been known to etch VIN numbers off cars. She had watched the process a few times.  
  
Alexandra looked up to James for some answer to why his name was etched off or how someone had taken his dog tags without him noticing or why they would want to etch his name off. He just looked down at her, his eyes hopelessly searching her for answers she didn’t have.  
  
“What happened to you?” She asked softly, the look on his face slowly breaking her heart.  
  
“I don’t know,” was his equally quiet response. “I don’t remember.”  
  
They stood there staring at each other for a moment. Then James’s face went blank, closed off, and Alexandra took that as her sign to move away. She busied herself with putting the corn bag away and trying not to ask the thousands of questions she had.  
  
“Do you want me to check your ribs?” James’s voice was back to its monotone timbre.  
  
“If it will make you feel better, go for it.” Alex said turning back to look at him.  
  
“Alright, I am going to touch your sides.” There was a hint of a smile, though it was almost invisible. He reached out and very carefully put his actual and metal fingers against her ribs. She sucked in a short breath because of the pain. She tried to keep her thoughts from running wild as his hand roamed down her sides and then back up as far as was decent.  
  
“Alright take a deep breath,” James said and Alex did, though it hurt like a bastard.  
  
“Another one,” he said.  
  
“You just like seeing me wince don’t you.” Alex muttered as she took another deep breath, James’s fingers pushing a bit harder in some spots.  
  
“I don’t think any of them are broken, but this hand is a bit useless for delicate tasks.” James said waving his metal hand in the air.  
  
“Should I ask why you have a metal arm to begin with or is that a touchy subject?” Alexandra leaned against the counter as she attempted to get her breath back. It wasn’t so much that he was missing an arm, but the quality of craftsmanship of the prosthetic he had that was extremely intriguing to her. She knew nothing mechanical work, but that arm looked like a masterpiece. That on top of the fact that he was a soldier with his name tags etched that had fallen on hard times was enough to pique anyone’s interest. He was young. He should have friends or relatives to help him out. Why was he in New York City all alone with only a hunting knife to his name?  
  
“It’s better if you don’t know.” James said after a long silence.  
  
“Fair enough,” Alex said not wanting to push him. “I’m going to grab that shower. You can do….whatever. Within reason,” Alex added, remembering him almost punching through a door the night before. She grabbed some clothes out of her room before disappearing into the bathroom and locking the door behind her.  
  
“Alexandra Jade, what the hell are you doing,” She sighed as she leaned against the door and closed her eyes. The aspirin had finally kicked in and everything was a dull throb instead of sharp pain, but everything still hurt. At least she didn’t have broken ribs according to the random soldier that she brought home with her.  
  
She was just making wonderful decisions the past twenty four hours.  
  
Alex stripped gingerly and then stepped into the shower, turning the hot water up to where she could barely stand to be under it. Each drop stung her face and sides, but it was a welcomed pain. She attempted not to think about what happened the night before, but it was impossible. Everything hit her at once, knocking the air out of her lungs. She held onto the wall as she let herself cry for a while.  
  
Eventually she cried herself out and got her emotions under control. Then her thoughts turned to her rescuer. While she was very curious and a more than a little scared of him, she also couldn’t help but think about him without his shirt on. His eyes, when they weren’t dead and terrifying, were beautiful. She bet if he shaved and got a haircut he would be devastatingly handsome.  
  
After forty-five minutes under the water, the hot water ran out. Alex got out and wrapped herself in a towel. Then she finally braved looking in the mirror.  
  
It could have been worse, but it was not exactly pretty either. She didn’t have a black eye, but her whole left cheek was sporting a nice purple bruise and a cut. It didn’t take into account that more marks and bruises were going to come up as the day wore on. She was going to have paint on the concealer before work.  
  
Alex looked herself over for a while longer before she grabbed an ACE bandage out of her medicine cabinet to wrap her wrist. She dressed in sweatpants, white t-shirt, and hoodie before emerging from the bathroom into the slightly chilly apartment. She grabbed a brush and then went into her bedroom to finish up her morning ritual. She thought about changing into actual clothes before reemerging from her bedroom, but then remembered that he looked homeless and didn’t bother.  
  
He was still in the kitchen, which was now spotless.  
  
“You cleaned and did the dishes?” Alex couldn’t help but laugh a little. “You bought me breakfast and did the dishes? I take it back. You’re better than a stray cat.” She could have sworn that he pushed a little more air out of his nose than usual. She took it for a laugh.  
  
“I have a Chem exam I need to study for, so if you want to clean the rest of the apartment, be my guest.” Alex said as she dropped her book bag onto the kitchen table with a thud.  
  
James just stood by the counter and watched her. She pulled out her Chemistry and American History book since she had an assignment for that class as well before tucking her feet underneath her. The weight of James eyes made her anxious and she couldn’t concentrate. After ten minutes she snapped.  
  
“I don’t want to be rude, since you can probably break my neck, so I’m not telling you to take a shower. If you want to, instead of standing there and look at me, you’re more than welcome.” Alex said pulling hair into three sections. “There are clean towels on the shelves above the toilet. The hot water should be back by now.”  
  
Alex pulled her fingers through her hair a few times before she looked up. James was gone. A few moments later she heard the shower water start running. Alex braided her hair quickly and then opened her chemistry book to get to work. She was so absorbed with trying to figure out what the chapter was trying to teach her, that she lost track of time.  
  
“Do you have any other clean clothes?” Alex jumped and turned to see James standing there with only a purple towel around his waist. She almost choked.  
  
“Yeah…I think I have a pair of shorts and a shirt that will fit.” She remained seated however, just looking at his chest and the V that disappeared under the towel. It was enough to make a girl swoon. While his arms and chest were impressive, his body was riddled with scars. More than any normal soldier should have. As always, her eyes trailed up to his shoulder and the metal arm.  
  
“Do you want me to get them?” He asked, pushing hair out of his face with one hand and the towel fell a little lower. Clean, he looked even younger, though the beard covered the lower part of his face.  
  
“No, sorry, I’ll grab them.” Alex jumped out of her chair and skirted around James into her room. After digging around her closet for a few moments she came up with silver gym shorts and a large red t-shirt. She turned around to see that James in the doorway. He was studying the room, which was a mess, with interest.  
  
Alex took a minute to try to see her room from his perspective. On the wall there were seven different country flags, England, Germany, Ireland, France, Canada, and Australia. They had been in a box in a thrift shop for three dollars and covered the peeling the paint. Clothing was scattered around the floor and on top of the unmade bed. Overall, it was a very unimpressive room.  
  
“Here,” Alex got to her feet and handed the clothes to James. Instead he took a picture frame off of her dresser that had a picture of her and her brother when she had gone to visit him the summer before.  
  
“That’s Jake, he lives in Miami now.” Alex explained as she continued to look around the room to make sure that all the really embarrassing things were hidden from view. When she finally focused on James, it was like looking at a different man. His face was alive and it was as if personality had been breathed into him.  
  
“I should go, I shouldn’t be here.” James said as he put the picture down carefully and started to back out of the room, his eyes panicked.  
  
“Wait a second.” Without thinking, she reached out and grabbed his flesh arm. James tensed and his eyes darkened. Alex saw a flash of the person who almost killed a man the night before. She let go and held up her hand to show she meant no harm. James turned and headed out into the living room.  
  
“Hey,” Alex said when she finally got the courage to follow him. “You aren’t going anywhere naked.”  
  
“Why do you care? You didn’t want me here in the first place,” James snapped. He was more animated than she had ever seen him. He looked scared and confused. Something in Alex solidified and put steel in her spine.  
  
“You’re right, I didn’t.” Alex said as she grabbed onto his arm for a second time. “But I can’t let you just leave naked without anywhere to go.” She had no idea what had set him off, but she was getting just as frustrated as he was.  
  
“I can take care of myself,” James said squaring his shoulders.  
  
“That doesn’t make you less naked.” Alex pointed out. James opened his mouth, but he had no counter argument to that. He held out his hand.  
  
“Fine, give me the clothes and I’ll leave.” He huffed.  
  
“Not until you tell me why you want to leave all of the sudden. Did a girl with ruby red slippers show up in the bathroom while you were taking a shower? Did she tell you the flying monkeys were on their way? Are you needed back in Oz?”  
  
“I’m dangerous.”  
  
“No shit.” Alex threw her hands up in exasperation. “I was in the alley yesterday remember.”  
  
“You have no idea what’ve done, what I am capable of doing. What I have done without even knowing. It would just be safer for you if I left.” James frustration was ebbing away to the point where he was almost pleading with her.  
  
Alex suddenly felt a pang of protectiveness over him. She had never been known to have a motherly streak in her, but there was a first for everything.  
  
“You’re right. I have no idea what you did before or even who you are. But what I do know,” Alex took a step forward so that he had to look at her, “is that if you hadn’t shown up yesterday, I might be dead right now. I definitely wouldn’t be this put together. That is the definition of unsafe. You saved my life.”  
  
“That doesn’t change what I’ve done, what I am.” James’s voice was soft.  
  
“And what are you?”  
  
“A killer.”  
  
Those two words hung in the air between them as they stared at one another. It wasn’t as if Alex hadn’t figured that out, he was a soldier after all. It was the way he confirmed it and the way it seemed to destroy him that was terrifying. Alex remembered those dead eyes that looked at her the first time they met. Those were killer’s eyes. The ones looking at her now weren’t.  
  
“If you want to leave I’m not going to stop you.” Alex said taking a step back. “Hell, I couldn’t even if I wanted to. But if it makes any difference, I don’t think you are as awful as you think you are. You can stay here as long as you want.” She handed him the clothes before walking around him and sitting down in the kitchen again.  
  
Alex stared at her book, but strained her ears to hear what James decided to do. It wasn’t as if he could get out of the front door without her seeing him, but he might try to go out the window and down the fire escape. She wouldn’t put it past him.  
  
“Do you have a wrench?”  
  
Alex looked up to see James in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room, dressed. She’d never heard him move. The clothes fit him well, but Alex realized that she didn’t give him underwear. She felt herself blush as she wondered if he was wearing any.  
  
“For what?” She was surprised at how happy she was he hadn’t climbed out of the window. She was a little upset with herself about how curious she was about if he was going commando or not.  
  
Instead of answering, he twisted his arm to show a gash in the metal about an inch wide.  
  
“What is a wrench going to do about that?” Alex said, getting up and looking at the gash. Inside she could see flashes and gears and Lord knows what else working away.  
  
“Something inside is loose, if I can get in to fix it my fingers should work better. There’s nothing I can do about the gash.” Alex didn’t know why he was being so talkative all the sudden, but she liked it.  
  
“Well, I don’t know what to do with most of this,” Alex said, motioning to the whole metal arm, “but I know my way around a wrench and a welder’s torch, both of which the landlord keeps in the basement along with scrap metal. I could at least patch it up and maybe get it to work a bit better for you.”  
  
“How?” Alex raised her eyebrow, not sure what the single word meant. “How do you know to do all that?” James elaborated.  
  
“My brother, the one in the picture, he is madly in love with his car so if you wanted to talk to him you had to be in the garage. If you were in the garage, he made you work. He’s a welder by trade and taught me some things before he moved. Can it wait until after I get out of work though? If I start now I’ll end up being late and I have studying to do.”  
  
“It’s been like this for a few months, I can wait a bit longer,” James gave a very small shrug of his shoulders.  
  
Alex sat back down into her chair and trying to concentrate on Chemistry. James stood quietly for a while, but finally reached down and picked up the American History textbook. He flipped it open to a random page and looked it over.  
  
“You can take that to read if you want. I won’t need it for a while. Better you than me.” She said after he had stood there and read a couple pages. James disappeared into the living room.  
  
It was four hours later when Alex took a study break and got up to get something to eat before work. She looked into the living room to see that the textbook was abandoned on the floor and James was staring at his hands.  
  
“Yeah, reading that makes me feel that way too.” Alex said walking over and leaned over the back of the couch.  
  
James didn’t look up, didn’t make any sign that he had heard her.  
  
“Is everything alright?” Alex asked. When he still didn’t move she reached out and touching him lightly on the shoulder.  
  
James didn’t say anything so Alex walked around the couch and picked up the book. It was a chapter on World War II, focused on Captain America and his team. She already knew everything there was to know about those men. Her grandfather told her stories about Captain America and one of her favorite stories as a child was how her grandfather had met him once. Captain America was her hero as a child. Now that he was alive again, he still kind of was.  
  
“I know he is terribly handsome, but nothing to get overly emotional about.” Alex said, looking at the picture of Steve Rodgers that took up the left page. “At least not in public.” She mumbled to herself.  
  
James said nothing, just kept looking at his hands.  
  
“Tin Man, have you gone rusty?” Alex closed the book and threw it onto the table. James jumped and looked up at her. Confusion was written all over his face, as if he didn’t know who she was for a second.  
  
“I…I have a headache.” James finally said rubbing his forehead.  
  
“Why don’t you lay down? You don’t look too good.” Alex said as she walked over and grabbed a pillow and a blanket out of the closet. She handed them to him over the couch, then went back out into the kitchen and filled up a glass with water. She put the glass on the coffee table, an old trunk of her grandfathers, before leaving him in peace.  
  
Alex popped a hot pocket in the microwave and tried to cram the last few concepts into her head as she ate. Then she went through the motions of getting ready for work with the added step of painting herself with makeup to look somewhat normal.  
  
When she came back out into the living room James hadn’t moved.  
  
“Drink that water and get some sleep.” Alex said.  
  
James said something in a language she didn’t understand, but it didn’t sound pleasant.  
  
“Don’t swear at me in a language I can’t understand. It’s not fair.” Alex said as she slid her army jacket on. It looked pretty nasty after last night’s scuffle, but it was not ripped anywhere. She grabbed a clean baseball cap off the coat rack and slid it on backwards.  
  
“If you get hungry, there should be chips in the cabinet and hot pockets in the freezer along with the corn from earlier. I’ll bring something back for dinner if you’re still here.” Alex grabbed her keys off the counter. “And please don’t break anything.”  
  
James said nothing, didn’t move, he didn’t do anything. He had retreated back into being the Tin Man it would seem.  
  
“Alright, see you later. I close again so I’ll be home around 11.” She didn’t expect him to answer her.  
  
“Alexandra,” She was so surprised to hear his voice that she dropped her keys. When she turned around, she saw that he was looking over the couch. The right corner of James’s mouth was definitely tilted upward.  
  
“Be careful,” he said as she tried to compose herself.  
  
“Always am,” she said with an answering smile. “And remember, it’s Alex or A.J.” With that, she pulled the door closed behind her.

  



	3. Chapter 3

“A.J., love, what happened to you?” Mrs. Malone asked. She hurried over when Alex walked through the restaurant door. Malone’s was a small restaurant nestled between a law office and an Apple store. It used to be an old speakeasy and still had the wood floors, wood paneling up to the chair rail, and exposed brick walls. The booths were red leather, worn, but not ripped. It was long and rather narrow, like most things in New York, with a counter that you could sit at and stare into the pass through window to the kitchen.  
  
“Nothing to worry about, just a bit of a misunderstanding last night.” Alex waved away Mrs. Malone’s fluttering hands that were trying probe the bruises and scrapes all over her face. Even with the makeup, her face was not a pretty sight.  
  
“With who, Mike Tyson? Is that why you didn’t call? Oh Lord, I knew something happened to you.” She fretted, twisting her hands since she couldn’t baby Alex. “It was one of those boys, wasn’t it? Did you call the police?”  
  
“I called 9-1-1.” Alex shrugged out of her coat and took off her hat. “I’m fine really.”  
  
It was a half-truth, but Mrs. Malone would have a heart attack if she told her what happened. As it was she was running her hand through her short bob of brown hair and her hazel eyes were large and worried.  
  
“Sweetheart, you look like you went three rounds with Rocky Balboa. You can’t work the dining room like this,” Mrs. Malone said, shaking her head.  
  
“That’s fine, they can always use help in the back.” While Alex wanted the tips from the tables, she understood that Mrs. Malone couldn’t put her out on the floor. While there were a bunch of regulars that came to the restaurant, the last thing you wanted was your waitress walking up battered and bruised. So for her shift. Alex washed dishes, ignoring the pain in her fingers and ribs as the aspirin wore off.  
  
As she worked, Alex’s thoughts traveled back to the surreal afternoon. She had left a man alone in her apartment that she had met the night before. A man who had almost killed someone the night before. A man who obviously had a troubled past.  
  
A man that probably wouldn’t be there when she got home. She had trouble convincing him to stay while she was there, he probably bolted the moment she left. Alex was surprised how the thought made her stomach twist. Alex tried to think of something else, something happy and less anxiety producing. Her mind provided her with the image of James standing in only a towel. Her brain was a dick.  
  
It was a pretty steady, but uneventful night at the restaurant. An hour before close Alex went to go find Mrs. Malone, who was chatting with her husband at the counter.  
  
“Hello Mr. Malone.” Alex said as she walked over and to the pair. “Am I interrupting?”  
  
“Not at all, I was just heading home. Diana told me you had a bit of a run in last night?” Mr. Malone leaned forward to get a better look at Alex’s face. “Did you piss off the Terminator?”  
  
Alex almost told him that it was actually the Terminator that saved her, but decided that would be way too much to explain. Mrs. Malone was already worried enough, checking in on her every five minutes, attempting to explain James might be too much for her to handle.  
  
“Hardly anything so spectacular, just a stupid, drunk, ex-boyfriend,” Alex said with a laugh before turning toward Mrs. Malone. “I was actually wondering if it was too late for me to order food to take home. I remember what happened last time someone didn’t ask Andrew before he started cleaning the kitchen.”  
  
“I almost had to fire him over that outburst. I’ve no problem with it, but go ask him.”  
  
“Just don’t get into a fist fight with him. You look like you’ve had one too many recently,” Mr. Malone said as Alex started to head into the back again.  
  
“I’ll try Mr. Malone. Give Sandy a hug for me,” Alex turned to give him a smile. Alex babysat for the Malone’s daughter if they needed a babysitter and Alex wasn’t in class or at work. Sandy also spent a lot of time at the restaurant because she was a favorite with the customers and staff.  
  
“She’ll be here tomorrow morning and she misses you,” Mr. Malone called.  
  
“It’s my day off tomorrow and I have to study. I’ll see her Monday after I get out of class. She should be out of school by then,” Alex said before she disappeared into the kitchen.  
  
“Damn girl, who’d you piss off?” Andrew asked as he flipped a few burgers on the grill.  
  
“You remember Markus?” Alex asked. Andrew had to throw Markus out of the restaurant after Alex had broken up with him. He had been, surprise surprise, drunk and came looking for her. Luckily, there were no customers in the restaurant, and Mrs. Malone was in the office.  
  
“That dark haired fucker I had to throw out of here?” Andrew sounded a lot happier about the memory than he should have been. “I thought you broke up with him, and that’s why I had to toss him on his ass.”  
  
“I did. I ran into his drunk ass last night and this happened,” Alex said waving to her face. “At least he didn’t have the coordination to pull my earrings out.” Alex cringed at the thought, she had so many piercings that someone could do a hell of a lot of damage.  
  
“Tell me he looks worse today than you do,” Andrew said, as he turned to take care of something on the grill.  
  
“I guarantee it.” She wondered if he was even out of the hospital yet. She wondered if he was conscious. She wondered if he was alive.  
  
“That’s my girl,” Andrew threw mock punches in her direction. “Now, what do you need?”  
  
“I was wondering if you could do up two bacon burger meals for me to take home, extra fries on one.”  
  
“Usually I’d give you shit about it, but since you seemed to have a shitty night last night, I’ll do it. Make them extra big, too, they’ll be the last thing I make before cleaning up. Who’s the second one for?”  
  
“A friend.” She turned and hoped to get back to her station before Andrew could ask her any questions. She didn’t succeed.  
  
“I know your dumb ass did not get another boyfriend looking like that,” Andrew called after her. “Especially since it’s your ex that did that to your stupid face.”  
  
“I would be out of my damn mind to date this guy. No, I just owe him so I am bringing him dinner,” Alex said and then completed her retreat.  
  
There were no last minute tables and closing went pretty smoothly so Mrs. Malone was locking the front doors at eleven fifteen. Alex had her bag of food and was attempting to make a quick escape before Mrs. Malone forced her into the car through verbal threats alone.  
  
“You aren’t going anywhere,” Mrs. Malone said when Alex attempted to start down the street to her apartment. “I’m giving you a ride home.”  
  
“Mrs. Malone, I promise you he is in no shape to bother me tonight. Besides, what’s the chance that it will happen twice in two nights?” Alex said.  
  
Mrs. Malone just held up her hand and shook her head.  
  
“So he isn’t out there, that doesn’t mean all the dangerous men are taking the night off. I’m giving you a ride home.” Mrs. Malone used the same tone that she used with Sandy, the mom voice. There was no use arguing with her.  
  
“That really isn’t necessary, I can walk home,” Alex said, hoping desperately not to have to put Mrs. Malone out by driving her home. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to spend time with Mrs. Malone, but she was a business owner who rarely saw her child. Driving Alex home would add maybe a half hour to hour to her travel time. That sounded ridiculous since it was only fifteen blocks, but New York traffic was no joke.  
  
Alex looked down the street and saw that there was someone standing in the shadows. Her heart stopped and she reached for her brass knuckles. Then she recognized the figure in the shadows and her heart started up again painfully fast.  
  
“I’m not letting you walk home alone, end of story,” Mrs. Malone said as she fought with her keys.  
  
“I won’t be alone,” Alex said, motioning to the man in the shadows.  
  
James was leaning against the wall, back in the pants and boots that Alex first met him in, though he was sporting the borrowed red t-shirt and hoodie. Mrs. Malone dropped her keys and swore under her breath. Whether about James or dropping the keys, Alex wasn’t sure, but she knew the feeling.  
  
“Friend of yours?” Mrs. Malone asked rather breathless.  
  
“Something like that. I’ll see you on Monday.” Alex said with a finger wave before walking quickly over to James. She had to get away before Mrs. Malone got her bearings back. She could only imagine the conversation if Mrs. Malone got James into the car.  
  
James watched her walk over, his eyes the only thing with any expression on his face. What that expression was, Alex couldn’t tell, but it wasn’t murder so she rolled with it. He said nothing.  
  
“I thought you might have skipped town.” Alex couldn’t help smiling at him.  
  
“Without dinner?” He grabbed the bag out of her hand and looked inside.  
  
“Wait till we get home, you barbarian.” She grabbed the bag back. She froze afterward, scared that she had offended him or triggered Terminator mode, but he just shrugged. Alex didn’t see any reason to poke the bear, so she started toward her apartment.  
  
They walked in silence, but it wasn’t oppressive. It was like walking with your shadow. However, she could tell that James was tense, his eyes roaming the dark constantly, searching for danger. His vigilance in turn made her keyed up, looking for any threat, jumping at the sound of trash blowing in the wind.  
  
“Are you expecting trouble?” Alex asked. In answer James reached out and stopped her with his arm. He gave no explanations, he just listened. After Alex had to literally bite the inside of her cheek in impatience, James finally said something softly in a foreign language.  
  
“I don’t speak…whatever that is,” Alex whispered to him.  
  
“There’s always trouble in the shadows.” James translated. He started walking again.  
  
A chill ran through Alex at the statement, but she tried to shake it off.  
  
“Tomorrow we can go out and get you some clothes, since you don’t seem to have any. I think I’m all out of ex-boyfriend couture, unfortunately. That is, if you want to be seen in public with me,” Alex finished quickly. She didn’t know why she added the last sentence. Unconsciously she seemed to figure out that James was hiding from someone or something.  
  
“Well,” James said after a few seconds, “we know what happens to you when you are out by yourself. I can’t have that happen again, now can I?”  
  
Alex stopped at the front door of her building and turned to look at him. He was a different person now, a small smirk on his face and his eyes laughing. He was teasing her, as if they met the first time in a park or just hanging out for old time’s sake. It was unsettling and exciting all at the same time.  
  
“You know what, I liked you better when you didn’t talk.” Alex said with an answering smirk as she unlocked the door. “And I’ll have you know, you caught me on an off night last night. I can take care of myself.”  
  
“You shouldn’t have to take care of yourself.” James said as he held the door open for her.  
  
“You sound exactly like my brother. He was not happy that I moved to New York City. Then again, he ran off to Miami, and left me in a three street town all alone. I didn’t let him have much say in the matter.” Her ribs throbbed as she walked up the stairs. She had been so excited that James was still in town that she had pushed her pain to the back of her mind.  
  
“Are you telling me you came to New York City by yourself to get back at your brother?” James asked as they got to the fifth floor.  
  
“I came to New York City to go to college. I applied to schools in New York to get back at my brother. He thought I should stay in a small Midwest town my entire life. Thought it would be safest. That’s what he wanted, along with my parents.” Alex reached into her pocket and pulled out her apartment keys.  
  
“What do you want?” James asked. His eyes watched her hands and not her face.  
  
Alex stopped with the key in the lock.  
  
“You know,” she said with a soft smile. “You’re the first person to ask me that.” Alex shook her head and opened the apartment door. She flipped on the kitchen light and hung up her coat and hat.  
  
“In a perfect world, to get my degree in biochemistry and get a job in a lab somewhere. I want to help people, I have a passion for science, and I am pretty damn good at it. My dad told me to be a doctor, but don’t all parents? However, I’d be a shit doctor.” Alex toed off her shoes and placed the bag of food on the table.  
  
“Scared of blood?” James asked as he stalked around the apartment. Alex watched him for a few moments, but didn’t ask what he was doing.  
  
“Hardly, I just don’t want someone’s life in my hands. Way too much pressure. I would rather be in a lab than standing over a dying man, woman, or child any day of the week.”  
  
Alex pulled two plates out of the cabinet and a two liter out of the fridge. James didn’t say anything as he walked over to the small kitchen window and looked out. Obviously something was on his mind, but Alex wasn’t even going to try and figure out what it was.  
  
“I’m going to change first,” Alex said, heading for the bedroom. “I smell like half eaten food. Don’t eat without me.”  
  
She flipped on the living room light and laughed.  
  
“You know, I was joking about cleaning the apartment.” Alex said as she walked around. Everything was clean, dusted, vacuumed, and absolutely spotless. The bathroom was equally spotless.  
  
“I didn’t clean the whole apartment. That mess you call a bedroom is untouched.” James called from the kitchen.  
  
Alex said a silent prayer at this. He might have run to another state if he saw what she had hidden under her bed. Or he might think more highly of her, it was always hard to tell how guys would react to things like that. Which reminded her, she had to buy batteries.  
  
Alex stripped out of her work clothes and mentally made sure that she put them in the clothes hamper. She pulled on a pair of black gym shorts and a long sleeved black shirt before running a brush through her hair. .  
  
James was still sitting at the table, but some glasses had joined the plates and were filled.  
  
“I thought you were a soldier, but I’m starting to believe that you were actually a butler.” Alex said as she plopped into the seat, only wincing a bit, and started pulling food out of the bag. “I’m surprised you didn’t serve the food.”  
  
“I didn’t want to be called a barbarian again.” James explained.  
  
“My, aren’t we talkative tonight,” Alex said as she handed James food over to him. “Not that I mind, just an observation.”  
  
James leaned back in his chair and studied her for a moment.  
  
“Maybe I thought that if I talked more, you wouldn’t ramble so much. Just an observation,” James gave the barest hint of a smile. “Besides, it’s nice to sit down to an actual meal with someone again.”  
  
“Well, I’ve had better company,” Alex said with a smirk. “But it’s nice not being by myself at night, I have to admit.”  
  
After that, both dug into their food and sat in comfortable silence.  
  
“After dinner we can go down and get that arm fixed. The lock the landlord has on the door is a joke and he had sanctioned me breaking whenever I need something.”  
  
“Why doesn’t he just give you a key?” James asked around a fry.  
  
“Where would the fun in that be?” Alex countered with a smile. “Besides, he thinks it will keep me out of trouble.”  
  
James shook his head at her slightly and continued to eat his burger. He ate quickly and efficiently. Alex had ordered the second order of fries for herself, she gave him half. She wondered how long it had been since he had two meals in one day.  
  
Alex talked about her shift at the restaurant. James listened, making small sounds at the right places to show that he was paying attention. He even almost smiled once, his lips twisted upward almost an inch.  
  
“Alright, let me go wash my hands and then we’ll look at that arm. Wouldn’t want to get crumbs in there. Can you throw the dishes in the sink?” Alex left the room without him giving her an answer. She knew from experience she probably wouldn’t get one from him.  
  
When she returned the dishes were in the sink and the table was cleaned. Alex grabbed her lock pick kit and waved her hand that he should follow. They headed toward the basement.  
  
“So, are you a petty criminal or do you just date them?” James asked as Alex knelt down to start working on the lock.  
  
“Are you commenting on my dating history? Really? The man who beat the hell out of three men when I first met him and you’re pointing out my bad decisions?” She asked taking her eyes off the lock to look up at him.  
  
“Well, I doubt your brother taught you to pick locks so it had to be an ex.” James countered.  
  
“Maybe I taught myself. Think of that?” Alex turned her attention back to the lock. “And just because I dated a few bad eggs doesn’t mean they all were scum.” She hoped he wouldn’t see that she was lying.  
  
“Alright, tell me about this guy that wasn’t a bad egg.” James said, leaning against the door to watch her work.  
  
She looked up at him again, but he seemed serious. Then again, he always seemed serious.  
  
“Jonathan was a sweetheart. He gave me flowers on our first date.” Alex turned back to the task at hand. It was always better to lie and tell half-truths when the other person couldn’t see your face.  
  
“Why did you break up with him?” James asked.  
  
“He moved away with his parents,” Alex said as the lock clicked. “It never would have lasted anyway.”  
  
“Why’s that?”  
  
“We were only twelve. The flowers were out of the neighbor’s yard and our date was to a middle school soccer game,” Alex admitted as she got to her feet.  
  
There was an obvious snort of laughter from James at this confession.  
  
“What about you, Tin Man? I bet you have a colorful dating history as well. I bet you got all the Tin Womens’ oil boiling.” She pushed open the door and flipped on the light in the workroom. Alex looked around for a wrench small enough to fit into the gash in James’s arm. James didn’t say anything while Alex found a wrench that looked like it would work.  
  
When she turned James was looking at his feet again, confusion all over his face.  
  
“Forget it, Tin Man, let’s get you all patched up.” Alex said with a sigh. She was slowly starting to realize that a lot of the silence from James wasn’t because he didn’t want to answer, but because he couldn’t. He seemed to have a limited memory of his past, which was beyond worrying for a man that could kill with his bare hands.  
  
Alex was starting to wonder how she got dropped into a Bourne Identity movie.  
  
James walked over and slumped into a chair, still perturbed that he couldn’t answer Alex’s question.  
  
“Alright, hold still. I’m going to try and tighten things up in here.” Alex looked into the gash one last time before maneuvering the wrench. As soon as the wrench touched something, a shock made her drop it.  
  
“Son of a-” Alex said, before putting her burnt fingers into her mouth.  
  
“You alright?” James asked, turning to look at her. Alex just nodded.  
  
“Hit the wrong thing, that’s all. You have some serious voltage in there,” She said after she took her fingers out of her mouth. She knelt down and picked up the wrench.  
  
“You don’t have to do this.” James said as she wiggled her fingers before positioning herself to try and work.  
  
“I know. Now, let’s try this again.” After seventeen shocks, Alex finally tightened and straightened the rod that had been dented by whatever caused the gash.  
  
“That’s much better.” James wiggled his fingers easily and seemed pleased.  
  
“Yours are all better and mine are more beat up. Kind of a shitty deal.” Alex laughed as she looked closer at her fingers. Two of them were already blistered and a very angry red.  
  
James reached out and took her hand into his metal hand, looking up to make sure that she wasn’t offended. Alex nodded that it was alright. James’s metal hand felt wonderful against the burn. He looked closely at her fingers, touching them very lightly with his other hand.  
  
“You can’t go more than a day without hurting yourself, can you?” There was a soft laugh in his voice. It made Alex’s heart skip and she silently cursed herself for it.  
  
“I blame you,” Alex said, looking away so that he couldn’t see her face blush. “I’m usually the picture of health and then you show up and I start falling apart.” Alex ignored that her voice as just a bit breathless. She knew nothing about him and yet there was no denying an attraction to him, at least on the most basic level. She tried to tell herself that it was his eyes and the fact that he saved her life, but a part of her was telling her that she was just lying to herself. It was more than that.  
  
Most of Alex’s mind was screaming that she was absolutely insane and should have turned him into the police yesterday.  
  
James picked her hand up a bit and bent his head over it. She felt his beard brush against her fingers, then his lips, very lightly. She could have sworn that she was electrocuted again. Alex stopped breathing, but didn’t pull her hand back. James eyes lifted and Alex felt her mouth fall open slightly.  
  
“Kissing it makes it better, or don’t people say and that anymore?” James asked sitting back in the chair. He still had Alex’s hand in his.  
  
“They do, I’m just…surprised. The Tin Man isn’t supposed to have a heart.” Alex explained. This man was obviously dangerous with a dangerous past and yet her stomach was doing somersaults. She shouldn’t expect anything from him other than to hope he didn’t murder her in her sleep, and here he was, kissing her blisters. What the hell was she supposed to do with that?  
  
“Let’s get this metal patched and then we can head back upstairs.” Alex said taking her hand back. She turned to grab her welder’s mask, using it to hide how flustered she was. Then she grabbed gloves and a torch.  
  
As she got ready to weld, Alex tried to figure out what exactly it was about James that was drawing her in. It wasn’t just the physical attraction or the fact that he was like a stray tiger she brought home. It was the sadness and confusion that struck her. Something terrible had happened to him and that made her, stupidly, want to protect him.  
  
“This isn’t going to be as pretty as the original arm,” Alex warned. “And this is probably not as strong as the metal it’s made out of.”  
  
“I don’t really have much of a choice, now do I?” James’s word seemed to be a bit sharp.  
  
“I guess going back to the person who made it in the first place is out of the question,” Alex’s voice was soft and hesitant. She knew that she shouldn’t ask. She couldn’t help herself, curiosity could be called her fatal flaw. Although other people had told her it was her stubbornness, foul language, lack of respect, and about a hundred other things.  
  
“What do you think?” James’s voice was far from friendly. Alex got the feeling it was a rhetorical question.  
  
She pulled on her gloves, the fabric against her fingers was torture.  
  
“Hold your arm out and stay still.” She said softly as she flipped the welder’s mask down. James’s held his arm out silently and Alex got to work. It wasn’t the prettiest of welds and multiple times sparks burnt both of them, but she got the patch done.  
  
“You can put your arm down now.” Alex started stripping off the welder’s gear, slowly since everything was hurt, including her feelings. Time for another aspirin, and maybe a shot of Jack that she had under the sink.  
  
“It’s a pretty nice weld.” James said, twisting his arm so that he could look at it. “Thank you.”  
  
“You’re welcome.” Alex said without turning around. She was guessing that she wasn’t going to get an apology, not that he really needed to apologize. Alex was being overly sensitive about the whole thing, she realized this, but it didn’t make her feel better. He was homeless for god sake, they had met yesterday, and she was upset that he didn’t want to pour his soul out to her. She needed to get a grip.  
  
Alex put everything back where she found it. James had already gotten up and Alex locked the door behind the two of them. They made their way to the fifth floor in silence.  
  
“So, are you going to break me into the apartment across the hall again or should I find somewhere else to sleep?” James asked as they stood outside the door.  
  
Alex played with a fraying string on her ACE bandage as she thought about it. Would she feel comfortable with him sleeping on her couch? Would she be able to sleep thinking of him out there without knowing much about him? Without him knowing much about himself? Would she be able to sleep if she made him sleep on the floor again?  
  
“I can tell you’re thinking, it’s the only time you’re quiet.” James said.  
  
Alex gave him a weak smile. She guessed she was forgiven, or he was at least no longer mad at her.  
  
“Says the Tin Man who I could barely get two syllables out of earlier,” Alex retorted, but she started to chew on her lips again.  
  
“I don’t mind sleeping on the floor. I have slept on and in worst.” James said.  
  
She couldn’t believe the change with him, from the man who had dead eyes to someone trying to make her feel better. Maybe the Tin Man did have a heart, when it suited him.  
  
“I don’t doubt it, I did see you before you took a shower remember? That doesn’t mean I am going to make you do it again. If you don’t mind spending more time with me than strictly necessary, you are more than welcome to my couch.” Alex said, unlocking her door. She threw her keys on the counter and pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge. She looked over the top of the fridge door to see James closing the door of the apartment.  
  
“You should wrap those fingers.” He said when he saw her looking at him. “Or at least put ice on them.”  
  
“First the ribs, now the burns, were you a medic in the army?” Alex threw a bottle of water to him. He caught it easily.  
  
“No, if my job was done right there would have been nothing for the medic to do.” James said looking at the water bottle for a moment. “No one would even know I was there.”  
  
“A danger in the shadows,” Alex said softly to herself, remembering their walk back to the apartment.  
  
“Still want to let me sleep on your couch?” James’s lip was tilted up a little, but his eyes were guarded.  
  
“Who else would protect me from all the other shadows?” Alex said looking him in the eye. James looked a little skeptical, but also slightly impressed.  
  
“I’m taking an aspirin and going to bed.” Alex said hoping he would stop looking at her like that. “You know where the blankets are if you get cold tonight.”  
  
James continued to stare. It made her uncomfortable, but it also made her heart skip a beat and her stomach flip. Both things Alex did not like.  
  
“You like taking risks,” James said, opening the water bottle taking a large gulp.  
  
“No. I follow my gut feelings. It tells me that you aren’t going to murder me in my sleep. If you do, well, no one can tell me how stupid I’m being.” Alex said, as she walked into the bathroom and closed the door.


	4. Chapter 4

At four in the morning it sounded like a truck ran into Alex’s front door, making her sit up so fast that she cried out in pain. Her ribs still hurt like a bitch. She heard a muffled voice and then another pound at her front door. Alex reached for her switchblade, which was usually between her mattresses, before she realized she hadn’t put it back after the run in with Markus. It was tucked into the pocket of her army jacket, by the front door.  
  
Silently cursing herself, she slipped out of bed and moved into the living room. The couch was empty. James had been sleeping there, the blankets were skewed, but he was nowhere to be seen.  
  
“Get out here you little bitch!” The voice called as another muffled bang came against the front door. The voice was distorted, but Alex could only think of one man that would come attacking her door at four in the morning.  
  
“God damn drunk.” Alex muttered under her breath. She was scared to go to the door because she knew that Markus owned a gun. He had shown her several times as if it would impress her. Alex didn’t think that he would shoot her, but then again, she didn’t think he would try and rape her either.  
  
What she didn’t understand was how he figured out where she lived. She had never told him, had she? It was her rule not to take people home with her, especially men, but she had been very drunk a few times. Markus rarely did anything that didn’t involve alcohol. He might have brought her home one of those times, she couldn’t remember.  
  
“Go home, Markus,” Alex screamed. She ran back to her bedroom and grabbed her phone, yanking the charger out of the wall with it. She dialed 9-1-1 as she moved back to the kitchen.  
  
“Answer me!” Markus screamed.  
  
“Go away, Markus!” Alex screamed as she waited for someone to pick up in the dispatch center.  
  
“Or what? You’ll have another of your fuck buddies beat the hell out of me? You little slut.” Markus started pounding on the door harder, it buckling under the weight of his fist.  
  
“9-1-1, what’s your emergency,” The operator asked.  
  
Alex had a strange sense of déjà vu.  
  
“Hello, there’s a man pounding on my door and threatening to kill me. I think he has a gun.” Alex moved behind a wall so that if he did start shooting, she wouldn’t be in the line of fire.  
  
“Alright, stay on the line with me and give me your address.” Alex repeated the apartment address and chewed on her bottom lip. Markus was still screaming slurred insults at her. That she could take, but the thought of him with a gun was making it so she felt as if she was going to throw up. She could feel her hand shaking as she held the phone to her ear.  
  
Alex wondered for a second where James was, but it was quickly pushed out of her mind by another round of pounding on her door. It sounded as if he was throwing his whole body against the door now and she could hear the wood breaking.  
  
After another few blows, the door flew open. Alex backed into the corner hoping that he wouldn’t see her in the shadows. The operator was yelling at her, asking what was going on and if she was still on the line. Alex was too scared to answer.  
  
“What, no smart comments now?” Markus called as he walked into the apartment, gun in hand. Alex hit the end call button on her phone, she didn’t want him to hear the operator talking. The screen lit up, drawing Markus’s attention.  
  
“There’s my girl.” Markus tried to smile, but his face was so swollen that it was disturbing in every sense of the word. She couldn’t make out much from the dim light coming through the curtains, but it was enough. The left side of his face was just a large bruise, double its original size. His nose wasn’t straight by any stretch of the imagination and his eyes was so blood shot they were pure red. He was drunk and Alex guessed he was on something as well.  
  
Alex couldn’t breathe. She had nothing to say. He had a gun and he was literally out of his mind. She had a cell phone and maybe a man lurking somewhere in her apartment. Maybe…  
  
“I came back for what’s mine.” Markus walked with slow measured steps toward her.  
  
“I was never yours.” Alex wanted to close her lips to stop the words from coming out, but she couldn’t. Markus actually laughed at this, but because his face was so swollen it sounded more like a yelp from a wounded dog.  
  
“Well, you will be now.” He raised the gun, not at Alex’s chest, but at her leg. “And this time you won’t get away.”  
  
A flash of silver appeared behind Markus’s shoulder and gripped onto Markus’s gun arm. Markus screamed and squeezed the trigger out of reflex, but it went into the floorboards and not Alex. Markus tried to turn to face James, but he just pinned him against the wall of the apartment. Alex was surprised he didn’t go through the wall.  
  
“Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?” James growled into Markus’s ear. “And that’s no way to talk to a lady.”  
  
“That isn’t a lady, it’s a little slut who must be doing some freaky shit to you for you to-” He broke off in a scream as James twisted Markus’s arm behind his back. Alex heard Markus’s bone snap. He would have fallen to his knees if James wasn’t holding him to the wall.  
  
“Don’t kill him.” Alex’s voice shook. “I already called the police. They should be here any minute.”  
  
James turned his head to look at her. His eyes were wild and angry, but they still had some depth. However, it was a lot less depth than before. The man from the alley was starting to appear again. The man who had no problems attacking her as well.  
  
James closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  
  
“I’ve let you live twice.” He said into Markus’s ear over his whimpering. “If I ever see you again, I’ll be the last thing you see.” Then he let him go.  
  
Alex stood shaking in the corner, a bullet hole a few inches from her toes. She heard the sirens.  
  
“You have to hide.” Alex said to James.  
  
“I’m not leaving you alone.”  
  
Alex felt her heart flip at the statement. She was glad he cared, but now was not the time to argue.  
  
“You stay and they’re going to arrest you and cart you off to whoever you are hiding from.” Alex explained all in one breathe. “Then I’ll really be alone.”  
  
They could hear the footsteps on the stairs and the jingle of keys. James looked into the hallway and then to Alex.  
  
“James, please.” Her voice cracked.  
  
James finally nodded and then disappeared into the shadows of the apartment. The police stormed into the apartment, guns drawn.  
  
“It’s alright, he’s no longer armed.” Alex said, raising her arms to stop them from shoot her. Markus was still whimpering on the floor, gun beside him.  
  
For the next hour Alex tried to explain what happened without mentioning James. She said that they fought and he broke his arm when she tackled him. The cops didn’t push her since Markus was obviously on something and she was shaking like a leaf. They kept telling her how lucky she was to be alive. She kept telling herself how lucky she was to have let James stay with her.  
  
“Do you have someone to stay with?” The police officer asked, flipping his notebook closed and obviously ready to leave. “You’ve had a shock and you shouldn’t be alone.”  
  
“The guy across the hall will let me crash there.” Alex said. The Malones would have let her stay with them if she asked, without question. Alex just couldn’t bring herself to bring her mess to their door. Plus, Mrs. Malone would probably try to get her to move in with them.  
  
“Alright, take care of yourself and we’ll have you come down and make a statement at a later time.” The officer said with a smile as he left with his partner.  
  
Alex looked around the apartment and just shook her head. It was the second time that she had been attacked in two days. When had this become her life? The apartment was a mess. There was blood on her wall and a bullet into the floor. Not to mention that the door was basically ripped in half. Management was not going to be happy with her. A new door and patch on the floor wasn’t going to be cheap.  
  
“James?” Alex called softly. She didn’t want to be alone. She turned on the light and looked around, but he was nowhere to be seen. Alex wanted to call out again, but she couldn’t find her voice.  
  
Alex made it to the living room before her legs gave out. She collapsed on the couch.  
  
“Are you alright?” Alex jumped and opened her eyes. James was perched on the window sill, a worried expression on his face.  
  
“I’ll live,” Alex didn’t have anything else to say. She had almost been shot by a madman, who attempted to rape her the night before. She’d live, but it wasn’t the best couple of days she had ever had.  
  
James slipped off the sill and walked slowly over to her. He crouched in front of her, but kept his distance, obviously unsure how to comfort her.  
  
The one thing that Alex didn’t want was space. Alex reached out and took his hand. She felt him tense at the contact, but then his fingers closed around hers. Alex’s whole body was shaking and James tightened his grip just a bit.  
  
“I’m here,” James said softly.  
  
Alex smiled a little.  
  
“I know,” She answered, “Thank you.”  
  
Alex’s heart almost stopped when her alarm started going off on her phone.  
  
“Well,” She said taking her hand back and raking it through her hair. “I’m going to get ready to go for my run. Want to come?”  
  
“A man just broke into your apartment and you’re going for a run?” James looked at Alex as if she was insane.  
  
“He’s been arrested and I have some energy that I need to work off. No reason to waste any more time on that asshole.” Alex got up and closed the door behind her as she went into the bedroom. She changed into her running clothes, though a little more modest than her usual garb of a sports bra, cut off, and spandex shorts. Instead she threw on a t-shirt and a baggy pair of gym shorts.  
  
Her stomach wouldn’t settle and her hands wouldn’t stop shaking. Alex tried to calm down by taking deep breaths and when that didn’t work she tried to ignore it. It would not be ignored. Alex ran to the toilet and threw up for a good three minutes. The burger and fries tasted so much better going down.  
  
“Alright, you need anything before we go?” Alex said after she had washed her mouth out and brushed her teeth again.  
  
“You sure you want to do this?” James asked an eyebrow slightly raised.  
  
Alex’s heart swelled at his concern, but it was also pissing her off. There is nothing worse than someone asking you if you were alright when you weren’t alright.  
  
James raked his hand through his hair waiting for her reply.  
  
“Need a hair tie?” Alex took one off her wrist and handed it over to him.  
  
James gave her a look, but took it and pulled his hair into a high ponytail. With his hair pulled back, she could see more of his face, though the beard hid his jaw. What she saw was very impressive. That, on top of the fact that she had a thing with men who could pull off a high ponytail, was making her heart race for an entirely different reason.  
  
“What?” James asked as she continued to stare. A piece of his hair fell out of the ponytail and into his eyes.  
  
Alex felt as if she was literally about to swoon, but she told herself it was just the emotional roller coaster she had already been on that morning. There was also something familiar about his face, somehow she knew it or had seen it before. However, she couldn’t place where it was from or who he looked like.  
  
“Ready to go?” Alex asked, not having the energy to think about it too much. She grabbed her keys and iPod. James eyed her iPod as she strapped it to her upper arm.  
  
“Sorry I don’t have one for you.” She said with a weak smile.  
  
“It’s fine, I don’t like not being able to hear.” James said, pushing the hair out of his face.  
  
“I can get you a bobby pin if you want?” Alex offered as she looked at the destroyed door. She figured she could wedge some pieces against the doorframe and keep it together. It wasn’t as if she really had anything to steal.  
  
“Not necessary,” was the slightly huffy reply.  
  
Alex decided to run her normal route. James kept up easily, in fact, he almost looked bored. There was no attack by crazed ex-boyfriend’s. It was probably the nicest day she had had all week.  
  
“Do you want to go shopping now or grab a shower and breakfast first?” Alex asked, completely winded due to her ribs. However, she felt better than she had the morning before.  
  
“Are you up for any of that? You don’t look so good,” James smirked slightly.  
  
“First talking, now jokes. My my my, Tin Man, we have come a long way.” Alex moved to give him a jab with her elbow. However, he blocked her quickly and rather forcefully, his expression guarded.  
  
“I think we could both do with a shower before facing the world.” James reached up and flicked a piece of sweaty hair off Alex’s face. She took this as his way of apologizing for the reflexes and just rolled her eyes.  
  
He was two different people. She couldn’t say she minded this one. The other guy, well, she didn’t want to think about it.  
  
“I call dibs. I hate taking cold showers,” Alex said as they headed up the stairs. It wasn’t until they were back at her front door that she remembered what had happened that morning. Her stomach cartwheeled and she thought she might have to run for the bathroom again. She wrapped her arms around herself and took a deep breath.  
  
Then there was a warm hand on her shoulder, giving it a small squeeze. She looked over at him and gave a shaky smile. He walked around her and open the apartment door. He gave her another look to reassure her before he went into the apartment. She waited in the doorway as he walked around, checking every corner for the monsters of Alex’s past.  
  
“Wait too much longer and I’m going to jump in the shower,” James said as he leaned against the counter. His eyes were still concerned.  
  
“Right…sorry.” Alex gave herself a shake and walked into the apartment.  
  
“Alex,” He usually didn’t use her name, which made her stop. His blue eyes were regarding her thoughtfully and his face was serious. Not in the way she had seen him before, but as if he was trying to figure her out.  
  
“It’s alright to be scared,” James finally said.  
  
Alex tilted her head a little and studied him right back.  
  
“I know, but it’s all about how you show it.” Alex said before heading into the bathroom. She made her shower quick so she didn’t use all the hot water, but she spent a little time shaving and using the good smelling body wash. Then she realized that she forgot to bring clothes into the bathroom with her.  
  
“Bathrooms free when-oh!” Alex said as she ran right into James.  
  
“Sorry, I was just-” James’s stuttered as he took a few steps backward.  
  
“Just what?” Alex asked as she made sure her bright pink towel covered all the important bits of her anatomy. “There’s nothing over here except my room and the bathroom.”  
  
James was trying valiantly not to look at her, but his eyes kept glancing over. He mumbled something in a language she didn’t recognize.  
  
“English please?” Alex smirked a little.  
  
“I…I…um….well-”  
  
“Out with it Tin Man! Or do I need to find a can of oil.” Alex had to admit, she was enjoying herself. She had seen a lot of emotions from James, or lack of emotions, but flustered was not one of them. He was even blushing a bit. She was a bit embarrassed about standing there is just a towel, but it wasn’t overriding the fact that she liked riling him up.  
  
“I just wanted to see if you were out. The water had been off for a while. That’s all.” James finally said as he looked down at his feet.  
  
Alex tilted her head and watched him for a few seconds, then just smiled.  
  
“The bathrooms free now if you want to take your shower.” Alex said as she walked around him and closed the door to her bedroom. As she blow dried her hair, her mind wandered to a lot of different scenarios that involved her and James and only a towel between them. Many of them were not rated PG.  
  
She could lie to herself, or give herself five hundred reasons why she shouldn’t be attracted to him, but she didn’t have the energy. It was obvious that he had some dark things in his past, probably darker than she could even understand, but there were sparks of a man in there that she liked. He joked and had that little smirk and slowly he was coming out his shell. Yet there was a part of her that realized this was all so bizarre, like something out of a movie or novel. Something was just not right. He had a metal arm for god’s sake.  
  
While Alex hunted through her dresser and closet her mind switched to her chemistry exam, which she hadn’t studied nearly enough for. Alex’s anxiety spiked and she attempted to get her worrying under control. There are worst things than failing an exam, most of them she had faced in the last forty eight hours, but that didn’t help her anxiety.  
  
Finally she pushed all that out of her mind and dressed in black tights and a crimson long sleeve dress. She planned on putting on her combat boots and army jacket before heading out. She braided her bangs behind her head and did her makeup.  
  
James just turned off the shower water when Alex grabbed her Chemistry book and flopped onto the couch. She was concentrating so much on studying that she didn’t hear him come out of the bathroom and perch on the end of the couch.  
  
“Good reading?” James asked.  
  
Alex dropped the book.  
  
“How do you do that?” She asked, hand on her heart, as she leaned over and grabbed the book. “You’re a rather large man and you move like a ghost.”  
  
“Lots of training,” James said, taking the book out of her hand. He looked over it for a few seconds, but it is obvious that he wasn’t really reading it.  
  
“Do you want to take my test for me tomorrow?” Alex asked and James just looked over the top of the book at her. “If not, let’s get going so I have time to study tonight.”  
  
“I was just waiting for you.” James put the book on the couch and got up.  
  
“Of course you were,” Alex jumped off the couch and pulled on her boots. She shrugged into her army jacket and grabbed her purse. She threw her keys into it, though it was pretty pointless.  
  
“What, no ball cap?” James asked as Alex rigged her door to stay closed. Alex gave him a look as they headed down the stairs to the front door.  
  
“I’m going to go talk to the landlord and see if he can fix the door, wait for me outside.” Alex said as she headed down the hall. Her landlord was nice enough about it, seeing as Alex was still sporting bruises from the first attack, and said he would send someone to fix the door sometime that afternoon.  
  
James was leaning against the wall, hands in pockets, staring out at the street when Alex emerged into the cool autumn morning.  
  
“You don’t care if we get your clothes from a thrift store do you?” Alex asked as they started down the street. Alex considered taking the subway, but it was a nice day and the store wasn’t too far away.  
  
“You don’t have to pay for my clothes.” James said from beside her.  
  
The New Yorkers that were out and about gave James space, something that was not typical for New Yorkers. If they weren’t cursing the tourists, they were cursing each other for bumping into them. It was as if they could sense his power, even though his metal arm was covered and his hand in his pocket.  
  
“I know I don’t, but it isn’t like you have any money.” Alex said as they waited for the light to change.  
  
“Who said?” James asked as they walked with the crowd across the street.  
  
“When I met you, you were homeless. If you had money you would have had a place to stay.” Alex explained, dodging a man who was talking loudly on his cell phone about a business deal. James didn’t say anything, but there was a small smirk on his face.  
  
“So, where did you grow up?” Alex asked when the crowd on the street thinned out a bit. James looked a little shocked at the question. “What? I know nothing about you. Give me something to work with.”  
  
“I grew up in Brooklyn.” He said slowly, his brow creasing slightly.  
  
“Really? You don’t have a New York accent.” Alex slipped around three girls who were walking in a line down the sidewalk.  
  
“I’ve been gone for a while.” James admitted.  
  
“Cause of the war?” Alex knew she shouldn’t push too much, but this was the most open he had been with her. She was hungry to know more about him.  
  
Again, James jumped a bit, then he nodded.  
  
“Yeah, I…ran into a bit of trouble. I was gone…a lot longer than expected.” James’s words were slow as if he had just woken up.  
  
Alex nodded and kept all her questions to herself for the time being. She didn’t want him to clam up again.  
  
“Well,” Alex said, giving him a smile. “I’m glad you finally got back home.”  
  
“It doesn’t feel like home anymore.” His tone was vicious and Alex raised an eyebrow, but he didn’t explain himself.  
  
They walked in silence until they got to the thrift store that Alex usually shopped at. It was the definition of a hole in the wall, but the clothing that they got in was good quality and not that worn out. The prices were also low, which you couldn’t complain about. She pushed the door open and it was blissfully empty except for the cashier.  
  
“Alright, go crazy.” Alex said, waving her hands at the racks of clothes, “Get yourself a couple of outfits and then we’ll stop at a drugstore on the way home to get your other essentials.”  
  
James looked at her for a moment, but then walked off towards the pants. Alex flipped slowly through the jackets and then the dresses, but really didn’t find anything worth buying.  
  
“That would look good on you.” Alex almost dropped the sky blue dress she had been looking at when James spoke behind her.  
  
“You need to stop doing that.” Alex said, but her heart didn’t leap out of her chest like it did the last couple times. It was as if she was getting used to him. She looked into his arms to see a few pairs of jeans, shirts, sweaters, and a worn leather jacket. “Is that everything?”  
  
“I travel light.” James said. Alex rolled her eyes.  
  
“Alright, let’s see what the damages are.” She said as they walked up to the cash register. The man rang them up without comment, though she saw his eyes go to James’s metal hand a few times. The last item that he scanned was the sky blue dress that Alex had been looking at.  
  
“I don’t need another dress,” Alex said, about to tell the man that she didn’t want it.  
  
“That will be forty-seven sixty.” The cashier said around a yawn.  
  
“This should cover it.” James pulled a fifty dollar bill out of his hoodie pocket and handed it over the counter. Alex’s jaw dropped.  
  
“Where did you get that?” She asked as the cashier pushed their plastic bags of clothes to them.  
  
“I’ve always had it,” James said with a shrug of his shoulders, heading out of the store.  
  
Alex was right on his heels.  
  
“You’ve just been carrying around fifty bucks?” Alex asked as she divided the bags between her two hands.  
  
“Actually I’ve about three thousand on me right now. I hid the rest in the apartment across the hall.” James grabbed her arm and moved her out of the way of a dog walker. “How did you think I paid for the bagels the other morning?”  
  
“I watched you beat a man almost to death the night before, I wasn’t going to ask questions about where you got the bagels. For all I knew you stole them, or worse.” Alex’s voice rose an octave. Luckily it was New York, so no one paid any attention to the conversation.  
  
“I have money, alright. I’m not completely helpless, like a stray cat. Is that a problem?” James’s tone was level, but he was obviously a bit frustrated.  
  
“I don’t think anyone would ever call you completely helpless.” Alex rapped her knuckles on her metal arm. “And it’s not a problem. I’m just surprised.”  
  
After that, they said nothing as they walked down the street. The air had warmed up a bit, but fall had obviously set in. They ducked into the nearest CVS. There was very little discussion as they walked through the store, grabbing a package here and a bottle there.  
  
“Can we go somewhere?” James asked after they left the drug store with a pack of boxers, a toothbrush, and other essentials.  
  
“Depends, where do you want to go?” Alex asked, trying not to sound too interested.  
  
“Brooklyn, my old neighborhood, I just…I don’t know. I want to see it.” James sounded timid for the first time.  
  
“We’ll have to take the subway over, but I don’t see why not.” They turned the corner that Malone’s was on. “How about breakfast first?”  
  
“Isn’t this where you work?” James asked as they neared the front door.  
  
“Yep,” Alex said, looking through the front window to see if Sandy was there. “My boss’s daughter loves me and she should be in today.” She turned and saw that James’s seemed to be fighting with something.  
  
“If you don’t want to that’s fine.” Alex walked away from the window so Sandy wouldn’t see her.  
  
“I don’t think that I should get too entangled in your life. I can’t stay here long and…” James looked out onto the street.  
  
Alex waited. She knew that ‘and’ that he wasn’t talking about was the reason that he was homeless, that he seemed to be looking for danger around every corner, and who knows what else. Once again, fear and doubt crept into Alex’s mind. What was she doing and how much danger was she actually in?  
  
“You’re worried about something, what I don’t know. But what I do know is that a plate of eggs isn’t going to put everyone on the Most Wanted list.” Alex switched the bags between her hands since they were cutting off the blood flow to her fingers. If there was one motto that Alex lived by it was ignore things that you can’t change until they bit you in the ass.  
  
“Alexandra, the people that are looking for me kill people.” James said, looking her in the eye, face completely serious. “I don’t think I have gotten you on their radar yet and I want to keep it that way.”  
  
Alex felt herself freeze and knew that he saw her fear. What kind of people hunted down a man who obviously was a well-trained soldier? Was he a deserter? A traitor? A spy? Did it have nothing to do with the military?  
  
Yet she didn’t want him to leave. She didn’t want to be alone.  
  
“James, you have been with me for two days. If I’m not on their radar yet I won’t be if you come and have breakfast with me.” Alex said, her voice sounding as if she didn’t have a care in the world. Alex put the bags down on the sidewalk, protecting them from other pedestrians, and rubbed her fingers. It also helped her focus on something here and now and not the thousands of scenarios that were running through her head.  
  
“Alright, alright…” James said more to himself than to Alex.  
  
Alex waited for a more concrete form of confirmation that he wasn’t just going to disappear into the crowd when she turned her back.  
  
“You’re paying,” James said finally.  
  
Alex laughed and picked up the bags.  
  
“Fair enough, even though we both know you have more money than I do.” She said as they walked into the restaurant. “Oh, and don’t call me Alexandra.”  
  
Alex felt every eye of the restaurant employees on her as they were seated. She was infamous for having bad-boy boyfriends and everyone wanted to see the newest threat. The reputation would have bothered her if it wasn’t completely earned. Apparently when you come to New York City by yourself at eighteen, you don’t make the best choices. Alex attempted to ignore them, but it was very difficult.  
  
“A.J.” A small voice shouted and a streak of brown hair was the only warning before Sandy launched herself at Alex. Alex caught her easily, used to this little acrobatic act, and hugged her close to her chest.  
  
“Hey there, sweetheart. What have you been up to?” Alex asked, putting the little girl on the booth seat next to her.  
  
“What did you do to your face?” Sandy poked the bruise on the side of Alex’s face with vengeance. Alex had to bite down hard on her lip not to swear.  
  
“Ouch, you little monster.” Alex said, giving Sandy a poke in the side, making her giggle. “And it was an accident, nothing you need to worry about.”  
  
“Is this your boyfriend?” Sandy finally focused on James. “He needs a haircut and to shave.”  
  
Alex secretly agreed with both statements, she blushed with embarrassment.  
  
“Sandy,” Alex moaned and put her head on the table. She loved the little girl to death, but her mouth hardly stopped moving when she was awake.  
  
“Is he your boyfriend?” Sandy asked again before turning to James for the answer. “Are you her boyfriend?”  
  
Alex didn’t pick up her head. In fact, she hoped she would merge into the table and disappear. Normally Alex wasn’t one to get embarrassed so easily, but there was something about a child asking someone if they are your boyfriend that made it difficult not to blush.  
  
James didn’t answer right away, which wasn’t acceptable to Sandy.  
  
“You would have to be stupid not to be dating her.” Sandy said in a very grown up voice. “She is smart and pretty and knows how to French braid. She could do your hair for you.” Because obviously that is what is important in relationships to an eight year old, doing each other’s hair.  
  
Alex snorted.  
  
“I’m sure she would be a wonderful girlfriend.”  
  
Alex looked up at this, to see James smiling at Sandy. Actually, full on, smiling. Alex felt like all the air had been sucked out of her lungs.  
  
“So you are her boyfriend.” Sandy squealed in delight and clapped her hands.  
  
James smiled wider and shook his head.  
  
“I never said that-” James started, but Sandy wasn’t listening.  
  
“Alex and her boyfriend sitting in a tree,” Sandy started at a blood curdling level.  
  
“Alright, that’s enough.” Alex placed her hand over the girl’s mouth. Sandy continued to mumble through the song while Alex looked over to James. He was still smiling and when he met her eye, he gave a small shrug.  
  
Alex looked away to see that a few of the women in the restaurant were looking at the table with that doe-eyed look. She couldn’t blame them, James had one hell of a smile.  
  
“Do you usually have this effect on women?” Alex asked, tilting her head toward Sandy, who had started to lick her hand. This was nothing new, Sandy did it whenever Alex put her hand over her mouth.  
  
“The singing at the top of their lungs is new, but the attention? That’s something that I have experienced before.” If James was still worried about the big bad men that were after him, he was hiding it well. Before, he was reserved and worried, and now he was charming and maybe even flirting with her. Not that it should matter, she didn’t need any more problems. However, his moods were changing too fast that it was hard for her to keep up.  
  
Sandy put her hands on Alex’s and pushed it off her mouth.  
  
“I’m going to tell my mom.” Sandy said with a laugh as she ducked under the table and ran through the restaurant, ducking under trays and behind patrons.  
  
“Should I be worried about who she is going to tell?” James asked as he watched her run.  
  
“Not as much as I should be.” Alex said with a sigh. She was going to get one hell of a lecture from Mrs. Malone about dangerous men.  
  
The waitress, Anna, came over and while she chatted with Alex and got their drink orders, she kept glancing at James. Alex tried to take it personally. Anna hadn’t seen him looking like a crazed hobo and almost kill a man.  
  
“Do you think I’d be able to change in the bathroom?” James asked after Anna dropped off their drinks.  
  
“Into who, Batman?” Alex asked, trying to ignore everyone else.  
  
“My new clothes,” James said with a smile. “I would like to be in something clean and that actually fit. Also, underwear would be nice.”  
  
Alex choked on her orange juice. James smirked as he watched Alex try to get herself under control.  
  
“Bathroom all the way to the back and to the right,” Alex said finally. James started looking around the bags and moved things into one bag.  
  
“Do you have a brush?” James asked.  
  
“Yeah,” Alex started to dig through her purse, her phone falling onto the floor. “Here.”  
  
James took the brush and his bag before heading to the back of the restaurant. Alex grabbed her phone and saw that she had three missed calls. All from her brother, Jake. Jake never called.  
  
She tapped on the contact and let the phone ring. Her fingers drumming nervously on the table.  
  
“Hey there A.J.” Jake said on the third ring.  
  
“Sup Jake? You called me a bunch of times.” Alex asked, her heart slowing down at hearing his voice. He was alright, that’s all the mattered.  
  
“Yeah, yeah. I just wanted to check in with you. We haven’t talked for a while.” Alex could see him running his hands through his shaggy blonde hair. She could also hear that he was lying.  
  
“That is one call and a voicemail, maybe a text as well. Not three calls in thirty minutes.” Alex leaned back in the booth and closed her eyes.  
  
“What, can’t a big brother be worried about his little sister?” Jake asked innocently.  
  
“Jacob,” Alex used that tone with him that let him know she was losing her patience.  
  
“You remember Tommy Harris?” Jake asked.  
  
“Tommy…football player who had a strange love for mash potatoes? What does he have to do with anything?” Alex loved Jake dearly, but he was the most exasperating person she had ever tried to talk to.  
  
“Well, if you’d let me finish.” Jake said with mock anger. “Tommy happens to go to Columbia and guess who he saw running yesterday morning sporting a nice sized bruise on her face?”  
  
“I have no idea, who?” Alex asked innocently.  
  
“Alex, what’s going on with you? Are you in trouble again?” Jake sighed.  
  
“Tommy needs to mind his own business.” Alex muttered before taking a deep breath. “I had a run in with someone and it got physical. It’s taken care of and nothing to worry about.”  
  
“You’re not lying to me so I won’t worry, are you?” Alex could tell that she hadn’t convinced him. “You aren’t in trouble?”  
  
James slide into the booth as Alex tried to form an answer. He was now in clean black jeans, white thermal long sleeve shirt, and black leather jacket. His hair was pulled back into a neat high ponytail, with a few strands falling out onto his forehead.  
  
“Define trouble.” Alex asked as she stared at James.  
  
“Alexandra, I am worried about you. Tell me you’re alright and I don’t need to fly up there to see you.” Jake was all business now.  
  
“I’ll be fine. I know how to take care of myself. And-” James looked up and met her eyes, “I have people looking out for me.”


	5. Chapter 5

“I have some time off coming up, maybe I’ll fly up there and you can wine and dine me New York style, Jake continued, obviously not convinced. 

“It’s the middle of the semester Jake, I barely have time to breathe, let alone take you out on the town.” Alex tried not to sound whiny. She didn’t want to mention that there was a man living with her that could be a mass murderer wanted by the FBI. Jake would probably have run to New York if she said that. 

“You won’t even know I’m there. I can cook for you and take you out when you’re stressed. A little cold weather would do me some good,” Jake continued to push. 

“Jake, listen, why don’t you come up after midterms? I’ll have more time then.” Alex also hoped that the afore-mentioned possible murderer would have a more stable living situation that wasn’t her couch. 

“Because you won’t have a black eye after midterms, and I won’t have the chance to beat the shit out of the person who gave you that black eye,” Jake countered. “No one should lay their hands on my baby sister.” 

“I don’t have a black eye and I told you that was taken care of. Why don’t you listen to me? It’s like talking to a brick wall.” Alex resisted the urge to pull the phone away from her face and hang up. However, if she did, he might just fly up out of spite. 

“Alright, alright, don’t screech at me. But if I hear anything else I am coming up. No warning call or anything, understand?” Jake didn’t sound happy and Alex was sure after he got off the phone with her he was going to call their parents.

“I understand and I don’t screech.” Alex said with a sigh of relief. “And don’t pay Tommy to spy on me either, that’s creepy. Also, don’t tell mom and dad, they will worry over nothing.” 

There was a long pause after she said that and she could picture Tommy pulling the phone away and mouthing swear words. 

“Okay, I won’t,” he finally conceded. “I have to go, work is starting soon. Talk to you later, Squirt.” 

“Later ‘gator,” Alex pulled the phone away and hit the end call button. She then placed her head onto the table again. Jake was her best friend, but their relationship was weird now that they lived so far apart. When they were together, it was just like old times, joking and laughing. Any interactions apart from that were awkward and like talking to a stranger. She would have sat there with her head on the table for quite some time if she wasn’t in a public place. 

“You alright A.J.?” Anna asked as she refilled her glass. 

“Fine, fine. Thanks.” Alex said, sitting up with a sigh. 

“I have a favor to ask,” Anna bit her lip and twisted her engagement ring around her finger. She was like a lot of the other waitresses in New York City, came to be on Broadway and was just doing this to pay the bills. 

“What’s up?” Alex had a feeling she knew what it was, but decided not to jump to conclusions. 

“Could you take my Sunday morning shift? It’s Kevin’s birthday and I kind of wanted to spend the day with him doing wedding things,” Anna gave her a nervous smile. 

Alex hated working Sunday mornings, they were busy and she never felt like she was on top of things. The only thing she hated more was working swing shift, but only because she worked that more often. However, Anna was a sweet person and she had never asked Alex to take a shift before. She would also probably return the favor. 

“Sure thing. You’re in at eight right?” Alex asked as she pulled out her phone to set an alarm right at that moment so she didn’t forget. 

“Yes, thank you so so much,” Anna smiled at her before walking away. She didn’t even cast a glance at James. Probably because she had just been talking about her wedding, or because she thought that Alex and James were together, or didn’t want to risk drooling by looking right at him. Alex thought they were all good possibilities. 

“Don’t you like your brother?” James asked as Alex tossed the phone into her bag.

“I love my brother, I adore my brother, I just don’t want him flying all the way up the coast because he thinks I need him to protect me,” Alex explained. 

James raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. 

“You’ve caught me on a bad week, I told you that. Usually I’m totally safe and don’t need someone protecting me,” Alex explained. 

“I guess it’s a good thing a showed up this week then.” James smiled as he took a sip of his coffee. 

“I guess so.” Alex returned the smile. 

Anna returned and placed their food on the table. There was a comfortable silence as James and Alex arranged their plates. While she didn’t mind the silence, Alex’s brain was on overdrive. Would Jake call her parents? What would they do if he did? What did James think of the whole conversation? What was James thinking? Who the hell was James? Alex had so many questions to ask and James seemed so relaxed she decided to risk it. 

“So, you’re a Brooklyn boy.” Alex said as she salted her home fries. “No offence, but if you have family here, why are you crashing with me? Did they move away?” 

“They’re dead.” His voice was flat. Alex stopped with her fork halfway to her mouth. She could tell he wasn’t joking, but she also didn’t know what to say. She put the home fries in her mouth, but didn’t taste them. 

“It happened a long time ago,” James pushed his eggs around the plate, “but I wasn’t able to get back for the funerals. Any of them.” 

“I’m sorry.” It was such a stupid thing to say, but what else was there to say. It’s not like she could say that she understood, or offer her condolences; that would also sound just as fake. What do you even say to someone when they have had such a huge, grievous, loss? And here she was complaining about her brother being over protective like an idiot. 

“Yeah, me too.” James poked viciously at his food. 

Alex wanted to kick herself. She should have just stayed quiet. 

“It’s better this way really,” James said coming out his thoughts. “I’m not the person that left them before the war. I don’t even think my best friend would recognize me if it wasn’t that I looked the same.” 

“Does your friend still live in town?” Alex asked, praying that he wouldn’t say he was dead too. 

“I…I don’t know. Last time I saw him was in D.C.” James forehead creased again. 

Alex didn’t push it. They finished their meal, neither sure what to say to the other. Alex let her mind wander to James being an orphan and what it would be like to be left completely alone. She couldn’t even imagine it, the thought of never seeing Jake or her parents again. James didn’t even know where his best friend was living anymore. It made Alex’s stomach churn and the food was tasteless in her mouth. 

Mrs. Malone walked over to the table and Alex swore under her breath. 

“Sandy wouldn’t stop yapping at me until I came and saw your ‘boyfriend.’” Mrs. Malone put air quotes around boyfriend. “I’m guessing this is who she was talking about.” 

“Mrs. Malone, James,” Alex said waving her hand, “James, Mrs. Diana Malone.” 

Mrs. Malone held her hand out to him. He reached over with his flesh hand to shake it, a small smile on his face. 

“And for the record, he isn’t my boyfriend. He is-” Alex stumbled a bit thinking about how to explain, “a friend from college. He has been helping me study for my Chem test.” 

“How’s that going?” Mrs. Malone asked as she slid into the booth seat beside Alex. “And how is your face healing up?” 

“My face is fine, it just looks bad. I haven’t gotten as much studying done as I would like, but it’ll be fine. I’m not too worried.” Alex smiled at her through the lie. 

“Of course you aren’t.” Mrs. Malone bumped into her shoulder.

“I told you that she had a boyfriend,” Sandy said as she tugged Mr. Malone over to the table as well. “I told you.”

“Yes, you told me,” Mr. Malone said with a smile, “but just because a man and a woman are eating together doesn’t mean they’re boyfriend and girlfriend, Sandy.”

“Why else would they go out to eat together if not on a date?” Sandy asked as she clambered onto her mother’s lap. They all looked at each other, everyone waiting for someone else to attempt to explain. 

“Don’t you have any guy friends at school?” Alex asked.

“No, guys are gross and they are always picking their nose,” Sandy said, her tiny nose wrinkling in distain. 

James snorted and then grabbed his drink to hide his laughter.

“I mean, she does have a point.” Mr. Malone said with a shrug of his shoulder. “We, as a gender, are pretty disgusting.” He reached down and took a home fry from Alex’s plate and popped it in his mouth. 

“I do hope you’ve grown out of your nose picking phase,” Alex said with a smile as she pushed her plate, which still had some home fries on it, toward him. 

“No, you have to train them out of it,” Mrs. Malone said as she slid Sandy into the booth seat and got up. “Luckily he was a quick learner.” Mrs. Malone kissed her husband on the cheek before heading back to run the restaurant. 

“I just learned how to hide it,” Mr. Malone whispered, making Alex and Sandy laugh. James said nothing, but he was smiling a full smile again. Alex was hit with the feeling that she had seen his face before. Then as soon as the recognition was there, it was gone. 

“Alright kid,” Mr. Malone said, poking Sandy in the shoulder, “we should head home and let everyone get to work. These two have ‘studying’ to do.” Mr. Malone put air quotes around studying. 

Alex rolled her eyes. 

“But I didn’t get to see what A.J. bought,” Sandy pouted as she started looking into the bags. 

“It isn’t my stuff,” Alex said as she took the bags from the girl. “James needed some new clothes.” 

“You need me to drop those off at your place? We’re heading that way and if you’re going to campus, it’s out of your way,” Mr. Malone offered. “Mrs. Malone still has a spare key I think.” 

“You don’t need to do that.” Alex wasn’t sure how she would explain the door to them. 

“I know that,” Mr. Malone grabbed the bags with a smile. “Say goodbye Sandy and let’s head out.” 

“Bye A.J.” Sandy gave her a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek. Alex returned it with enthusiasm. 

“Goodbye Alex’s boyfriend.” Sandy said, giving him a small wave.

“It was nice to meet you,” James said smiling. Mr. Malone took Sandy’s hand and pulled her up onto her feet.

“About the door, it broke this morning. Just drop the bags inside the door if the landlord hasn’t fixed it yet. If he has, leave the bags with him or the maintenance man.” Alex knew that she was going to be yelled at when he saw the door was busted in, but she would deal with that later.

“Alright, no problem. You kids have fun.” The fact that Mr. Malone called James a kid made Alex want to hug him. James looked more like an undercover military agent than a child. After Mr. Malone left, Alex paid the check and they left the restaurant. 

“Winter is definitely moving in,” Alex said as she flipped up the collar of her coat. “That wind is brutal.”

“You don’t like the cold?” James asked, not seeming to mind the biting wind. 

“I like winter as an idea. The beautiful white snow, ice skating, curling up with a good book and hot chocolate, either alone or with someone, are all really great things. However, the reality is that I don’t have anyone to cuddle with, the snow is only white for like a day before it turns into brown slush, and my nose runs constantly,” Alex explained. 

James didn’t say anything, just nodded his head. 

They finally got to the subway station and down the steps out of the wind. Even though it was still early on a Sunday, the station was packed. Alex paid for their fare and they waited for the train to come clattering down the track. 

“You’re still shivering.” James pointed out as Alex rubbed her arms. 

“Another reason I don’t like winter, I can never stay warm.” Alex grumbled as she looked down the tunnel for the train. “Plus, wet socks are the worst.” She felt James come up behind her and put his arm over her shoulder, rubbing her arm awkwardly. Alex went ridged and James stopped.

“Sorry, I just-” James pulled away. 

“No, it’s fine,” Alex said, turning to smile at him. “I was just surprised.” 

Before James could answer, the subway train rattled into the station. They shuffled into the train with everyone else. Alex found herself pushed against the divider between the seats and the area in front of the door. James reached up and held onto the overhead bar right next to her as the door closed and the train went on its way. 

At the next stop more people piled in. Alex tried to take up as little room as possible, but one obnoxious business man was pushing himself right into her. Alex crossed her arms in front of her so she had some breathing room and so he couldn’t accidently feel her up. Alex was staring at her feet, trying not to feel too uncomfortable as the business man continued to stand almost chest to chest with her. Some people thankfully got off at the next stop, but the man didn’t move.

“Hey, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” The businessman said. 

Alex’s head came up to see James muscle himself between Alex and the businessman. James then pushed backward so they both had some breathing room, but not very much. The businessman continued to chirp at James, but James ignored him. 

They got to the next stop and more people got off, giving everyone a bit more breathing room. One of them was not the businessman, unfortunately. 

“Hey, I’m talking to you princess.” The businessman put his hand on James’s shoulder. 

James turned to look at him, taking his arm down from the overhead bar. 

“Who the hell do you think you are that you can just push me around?” The businessman screamed into James’s face. 

James straightened to his full height and stared down at the businessman, but still said nothing. The businessman kept yapping, but Alex shivered. James was slowly tensing and his eyes were becoming flat. He was slipping into Terminator mode, the one that almost beat a man to death and snapped that man’s arm without hesitation. 

“James,” she whispered, “just ignore him.” She reached out and took his hand, it was surprisingly warm. His eyes slid over to her and some of the ice in them dissolved. He gave her hand a little squeeze, saying he understood, and started to turn his back on the businessman. 

“Big man pussy whipped by a little brat.” The businessman scoffed, turning back to his call. 

James spun so fast that Alex fell back against the Plexiglas. His metal fingers gripped onto the businessman’s neck, choking off his curse mid-word.

“The problem I see all around me is lack of respect,” James’s voice was low as his fingers tightened. 

The businessman’s cell phone clattered to the floor as his fingers scratched uselessly against the metal. No one else in the train seemed to notice or if they did, they were purposely looking away. The train started to screech into the station, throwing Alex against the glass once again. 

“You’re going to apologize to the lady and then you are going to get off this train.” James’s voice did not rise as his fingers let go of the businessman. 

The businessman gasped as he put his fingers on his own throat. 

“You crazy son-of-a-” The businessman began to croak as the door opened. 

James shoved him with his metal arm and watched the other man stumble out of the train. He fell onto the platform, almost knocking over three other people. The doors closed before he got up or anyone else got on. No one on the train looked up, no one even blinked - they just filled in the void left by the businessman. Normal New Yorkers. 

“Are you insane?” Alex whispered as she tugged down James’s jacket sleeve to cover his metal arm as much as possible. “You are so worried about getting spotted by the big bad men after you, yet you flash that in a crowded subway to almost strangle a man.”

“He was-” James started.

“I know what he was, an asshole. That doesn’t mean that you need to be one too. You could have just let him spout his mouth off,” Alex said over him. 

“That’s not how I deal with things,” James said shortly. 

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” Alex said rolling her eyes. “But if you want to keep a low profile you need to stop trying to kill people with your bare hands. Just a thought.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” James said coolly. “But that man needs to learn how to talk to ladies.” 

“If you are going to beat up everyone that doesn’t respect women, you are going to be busting heads for the rest of your life.” Alex said with a sigh. Part of her was a little disturbed that she wasn’t even worried about James almost strangling another man. Hell, she didn’t even care about her personal safety by being close to him. She was worried about James getting caught or recognized by the police or whoever was supposedly looking for him.

“What the hell is wrong with people these days?” James asked as they pulled into another station and more passengers got on. James shuffled forward and there was barely five inches of space between him and Alex. There were three people between James and the overhead bar. He widened his stance so the momentum wouldn’t throw him off balance as the train started. 

Suddenly the train lurched. James put his hands on the glass on either side of Alex to brace himself. 

“Are you alright?” He asked leaning back. People had filled in the space behind him so there was now barely an inch between them. James breath stirred Alex’s hair and she could see the darker flecks of blue in his eyes. There was also something else going on behind his eyes, and Alex really wanted to believe it was what she was feeling. The little current that was going through her nerves, the way her insides felt squishy, for lack of a better word. Neither of them said anything, they just looked at one another. Alex knew her breathing was shallow, but for the first time she noticed that his breathing was not even either. 

Alex opened her mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out. James looked down at her lips. When he looked back up, his eyes were dark. Alex licked her lips. She wanted to kiss him, but she also knew that was a very bad idea. It was one thing to be attracted to James in a completely hands off way, but to get physical was to get more attached than was healthy with a man she knew next to nothing about. 

The PA system blared that they were approaching the stop that Alex had planned to get off at. Alex closed her eyes and sighed. She didn’t know whether to be relieved or pissed off. 

“This is our stop,” Alex said softly when she opened her eyes. James stared at her for a few more seconds, dipping his head slightly and Alex’s heart almost stopped. Then he pulled away. They pushed their way off the train and out of the subway station. 

“Damn, that wind’s cold.” Alex muttered as she wrapped her jacket around herself. 

“Nothing like Russia,” James said, his voice far away.

“You’ve been to Russia? I’ve always thought Moscow was beautiful from all the pictures I’ve seen. Is that where you were before coming back to the states? Or St. Petersburg? Or somewhere else completely? I would be too scared to go, with how politics are and everything.” Alex rambled on, trying to forget the moment in the subway. 

“You’re right, it’s a dangerous place, but so is everywhere. I don’t remember much about it…other than it was cold. And…” James rubbed his temples as if he got a horrible headache.

“And?” Alex prompted when they had walked for a few blocks with him still rubbing his temples. 

“I don’t really remember much else,” James finally said weakly. “Just the snow and the cold.” 

Alex nodded at this, but didn’t say anything. How do you have a conversation with someone when you have no idea how they think.

“Alright, well, we’re in beautiful Brooklyn,” Alex said waving, her hands at the surrounding buildings, “lead the way.” 

James just stood there looking around in disbelief. Then he seemed to get his bearings and started off down the sidewalk. Alex walked beside him, watching James as he tried to take everything in. 

“Different then when you left, I take it?” Alex guessed when they stopped at another corner as James looked around.

“You could say that,” James finally decided on a direction and they headed off. 

Alex wanted to ask him so many questions, but she kept herself silent. Asking him questions blew up in her face earlier. While she doubted that she could mess up as badly as she did at breakfast, she didn’t want to try. Instead, she occupied herself by trying to remember all the formulas she needed for her exam on Monday. 

They walked around Brooklyn for a solid hour, sometimes retracing their route because James took a wrong turn. Finally they stopped in front of an apartment complex. James jammed his hands into the pockets of his jacket and stared at it. Alex kept herself silent, though she literally had to bite her tongue. She had learned that James talked when he wanted to. 

“I don’t remember any of this,” frustration was evident in James’s voice.

“Have you been here before?” Alex asked as she buried her hands in her pockets.

“I use to live here. I grew up here.” James turned around in a circle. Panic and anger in every line of his body and shining through his eyes. 

Alex took a step back, giving him room. She was about to ask a question when James swung around and punched the wall, leaving a nice hole in the bricks. Then he pulled back and punched the wall again. The sound of the metal against the brick made Alex’s teeth hurt. The sheer force of his punch made her blood run cold. 

“Okay, alright, let’s not go all Hulk on the buildings. Take a deep breath.” Alex said, taking another step back so debris from the wall didn’t accidentally hit her. “What do you remember? The building could have been refaced or torn down in the last couple of years.” 

Alex couldn’t believe that James didn’t remember where he used to live, but she wanted him to stop hitting the wall. 

James laughed at this, but it was a mockery of a laugh. 

“The buildings weren’t even here!” He made a sweeping gesture to the entire block. “I don’t remember anything! Don’t you get it?” 

“I don’t get why you’re so upset,” Alex’s voice rose trying to get through to him. It was upsetting to lose your childhood home, but not something to go off the deep end about. What scared her more was his eyes were wild and starting to lose their depth. He was starting to slip into that other person, the one that didn’t care about her safety. 

As if on cue, James grabbed Alex’s shoulders and shook her so violently that her teeth rattled. 

“I don’t remember who I am! Do you understand? It hasn’t been a couple years, it has been decades!” His face was mere inches from hers and his teeth snapped with each word. 

Alex’s brain was whirling, the fear was making it hard for her to capture just one though. She stopped trying and focused on the first statement. 

“You told me your name was James and that you were a soldier. You said I reminded you of your friend. Obviously you remember some things.” Alex said, trying not to sound scared, but failing miserably. Her feet were barely touching the ground. If he just punched a hole in the wall, he could probably crush her bones without even thinking about it. Markus’s destroyed face and snapped arm wouldn’t disappear from her mind. 

“It comes in flashes and then it’s gone. Sometimes I don’t even know that I grew up in New York. It’s like I’m a container that can’t hold any water. Sometimes…sometimes it’s like…it’s like I’m nothing.” James’s eyes were searching for answers that Alex didn’t have while his fingers dug even deeper into the fabric of her jacket. She winced, but he didn’t seem to notice. 

“That’s not true.” Alex’s voice was steady, though her heart was slamming up in her throat. The bones in her shoulders ached. 

“You’ve known me for two days! How can you say that I am anything than a walking piece of meat pretending to be a man?” 

“Because you saved my life!” Alex screamed out of frustration and pain. “You didn’t know who I was and you saved my life. You insisted on walking me home. You protected me again. If you were just a walking robot you wouldn’t have given a shit that I was being attacked in that alley!” 

James blinked and finally saw her. He looked at his fingers digging into the fabric of her jacket and let go of Alex so suddenly that her legs gave out. She sat down hard on the ground. 

“God, what am I doing?” James said as he ripped the hair tie out of his hair and then ran his fingers through it. Alex pulled her legs up to her chest, trying to stop her shaking, and watched him. James started to pace, muttering to himself in a language she didn’t understand. Now that it was over, the adrenaline subsiding, her fear was seeping into her bones. 

“I’m so sorry,” James said, turning to look at her. He was close to tears. 

Alex was shaking hard, and while she wanted to comfort him, her words were swallowed by her fear. He had tried to leave before because he was worried about hurting her and he almost did. Alex wanted to tell him it was alright, but it wasn’t. She was positive that she was going to have bruises on her arms from his hands. 

He must have seen it, the hurt and fear in her eyes, because his whole demeanor changed. His eyes clouded over and he stopped pacing. He took a deep breath, put his hands into his jean pockets, and then turned his back on her. Alex watched as he started walking away, waiting for him to turn around, to say something else. He just kept going.

He was leaving, Alex realized. Anger bubbled up in her, chasing away the chill of fear. How dare he bring her all the way down here, scare her to death, and then just walk away? 

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Alex’s voice bounced off the brick buildings and then back to her. James’s steps faltered a little bit, but he kept going. 

Alex just sat there for a few moments, not believing that he was leaving her there. No explanation, not even a real apology. Then she scrambled to her feet and raced after him. 

“You’re just going to leave me here?” Alex screamed. 

James hunkered down into his jacket, but kept walking. However, he didn’t speed up so Alex caught up with him easily. 

“Hey, I’m talking to you Tin Man!” Alex said getting in front of him. 

James didn’t look up, but he stopped. 

“Where are you going?”

“It doesn’t matter,” He said.

“Of course it does,” Alex rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

“I am getting as far away from you as possible, alright?” James said looking at her. “And if you have an ounce of sense you would get out of my way.” He took a step to the right to get around her. 

Alex moved to block him, trying to ignore the ‘this is stupid’ meter that was screaming in her brain. She hadn’t been listening to it for the past two days, she didn’t see why she should start now. 

“If I had an ounce of sense I wouldn’t have let you in my apartment in the first damn place,” Alex pointed out. 

“Do you have a death wish?” James asked, anger starting to color his voice.

“No, but I also want to know what the hell is going on. You can’t just throw me around and then expect to walk off into the sunset without some sort of explanation. That’s not how this works.” 

“Maybe I want to leave, maybe I saw what I needed to see. Did you ever think of that?” James asked, his voice rising, but his eyes clear. 

Alex’s fear of him attacking her was evaporating while her fear of him leaving her was rising. She told herself it was because he was a puzzle she wanted to solve, for her curiosity and for his sanity. Unfortunately, the incident in the subway ruled that out as being the only reason. 

“If you wanted to leave I never would have been able to catch up to you. I’ve seen how you move when you fight. You could have outrun me easily,” Alex shouted back. “You’re leaving because you were scared of hurting me and you almost did.” 

James flinched as if she had slapped him. He took a step back and looked out into the street. 

“And if that’s the reason, is that such a bad thing? You said I protected you, maybe that’s what I’m trying to do.” James voice was soft, which completely disarmed Alex. 

She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. 

“I don’t trust myself Alex, not around anyone, but especially not around you,” James explained.

“Why?” Alex asked. If she ever figured out what was going on in this guy’s head the world would probably end, but she wanted to. God, she wanted to. 

James ran his hand through his hair again, tugging at the ends of it in annoyance. 

“Because…” James was struggling for the words, “because I can’t control my emotions, because sometimes I become nothing but a soldier, a killer. Because I am starting to remember things that make me hate myself. Because you seem to bring emotions out in me, make them run wild. And because you seem to have no sense of self preservation. I get into one of those states and you try to stop me. How long before I hurt you? Or worse?” 

Now it was Alex struggling to find the words. He was right. Every time he started to go into Rambo mode she had tried to stop him. 

James waited for her to say something, but when the words didn’t come he walked around her and started down the street.

“But it was never to protect the people you were attacking, it was to protect you,” Alex said when he was about ten steps away. “I was worried you’d get arrested.” 

She heard him stop, his boots scraping against the pavement. A car drove by, music shaking the windows. 

“You’re just like Steve, protecting everyone but yourself.” James voice was low but she heard him. 

“Steve…your best friend?” Alex asked as he turned around. 

James nodded as he walked over and leaned against the wall of the apartment building. 

“We grew up here together and he was always getting into fights that he couldn’t win. I’d always have to save him,” James said, the memory tugging a small smile out of him. 

“And here you said you didn’t remember anything,” Alex said and James glared. “Alright, you’re right, not the time for humor.” 

James slid down the building and put his head in his hands. 

“Why do you care about protecting me?” James finally asked. 

“The same reason you want to protect me, I guess.” Alex said with a shrug. God, she hoped it was the same reason, at least part of it. James didn’t respond, just continued to sit there. Alex waited for him to say something, but he breathed with his head in his hands. 

“James,” Alex said as she knelt down beside him. “Obviously more is going on here than what you’re telling me. I need to know what it is. Not just a sentence or another vague warning. If it really is as dangerous as you think it is, I should know everything and decide for myself.” 

James nodded his head a little, but didn’t look up. Alex reached out and touched his shoulder lightly. 

“James, come on.” Alex said shaking his shoulder a little more. “I know talking isn’t your thing, but give it a try.” He looked up at that and the expression on his face made Alex want to cry. There was an internal battle going on, she could see it, and there was nothing she could do. 

“I want to. I do, but not here,” James said. 

Alex sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Part of her wanted to reach out and shake him and the other part of her wanted to hug him. She had to be going insane. Why did she care about this man? Why didn’t she just let him walk away?

Because she was an idiot, that’s why. 

“Good idea, it’s freezing, and something tells me this is going to be a long story.” Alex got to her feet. She didn’t actually give a shit about the cold, but she didn’t want to push him when he couldn’t take it. He was dealing with so much more than she could even imagine and she realized that. It didn’t make it any less frustrating. 

James stood and Alex took a few steps back to give him some space. Alex remembered what it felt like to have James’s hands digging into her arms. She reached up and rubbed the sore area without really thinking about it. They throbbed a little, but nothing too bad. Just something new to add to her list of injuries. Alex caught James watching her and stopped immediately. 

“We should get going.” She said, turning toward the subway station. 

“Alexandra, stop.” James reached out to grab her arm, but thought better of it. 

She turned to face him. 

“I don’t want to come back with you if you are just going to be scared of me. We can talk in a coffee shop or something. If you want me to go at any time, you just need to tell me. You have had enough fear in the small amount of time I’ve known you to last for a few years at least.” 

Alex looked down at her feet and seriously thought about it. They didn’t have to go to her apartment, anywhere would work. 

“Yeah, we could go anywhere, but my apartment is the only place where I can change into sweatpants. As for the other thing,” Alex met James eye, “I’d be more afraid without you around, to be honest.” 

He opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it again, the words escaping him. 

“Need oil again, Tin Man?” Alex asked as she started walking. She smiled when she heard his boots hitting the sidewalk behind her. 

“You’re remarkable.” The awe in his voice was evident. Alex blushed and was glad that he couldn’t see her face. 

“I’m something alright,” she said as they headed for home.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone for the nice comments and Kudos. I appreciate them so so so much and I am so glad you guys are enjoying the story so far!

A.J. walked down the street, glancing at her watch to make sure she still had a few moments before her class started. She had been stuck at the police station longer than she had expected to give her statement about the Markus incident. It probably wouldn’t have been such a problem is the cop had believed her story about Markus breaking his arm in the altercation.  
  
“So you’re telling me that you two fought over the gun, he slammed into the wall, and his arm broke?” The officer asked leaning back at his desk. He was dressed in a white button up shirt, but he kept tugging at his tie as if he wasn’t used to wearing it. Alex guessed he had been promoted recently.  
  
“It all happened so fast, but yeah, I think that’s what happened,” Alex twisted her earrings, a nervous habit of hers.  
  
“Well, we got a look at the X-Rays, and the type of break was more common of someone grabbing his arm and twisting it behind his back,” the officer leaned forward, his brown eyes focused on her. “It is weird for that to happen if he had just fallen into the wall.”  
  
Alex fell back into the chair and sighed, trying to seem annoyed while her mind was trying to find a way out of her lie. She couldn’t tell him about James and since most of the Avengers were no longer in New York she doubted that he would believe some random man came into her apartment to save her.  
  
“He was already beat to hell when he got to my apartment,” Alex finally said. “Maybe he already had the broken arm, but he was so high that he didn’t feel it? I don’t know what to tell you, officer.”  
  
“Call me Michael,” he said as he got up and rounded the desk and leaned on it, “and I’m not trying to get you into trouble. Honestly, I think someone needed to break that guy’s arm. I just want to know what happened.”  
  
“So do I,” Alex said looking up at him. He was attractive and rather young to be a detective. He had strong features, especially his jaw, a slightly wider nose, and brown hair. He had a face you wanted to trust, which she guessed was good for a cop. He also filled out that button up shirt very well.  
  
“Alright,” he sighed as he got up, knocking over the picture on his desk. Alex caught a glimpse of a familiar uniform.  
  
“Is that a picture of you and Captain America?” Alex asked, pointing to the frame on his desk.  
  
“It is,” Michael smiled and handed it to her, “it was after the Battle of New York. I was a beat cop then, just made detective a few months ago, and he came out of nowhere and just took care of this alien on top of a cop car. Later, I found him to thank him, and he agreed to take this picture with me.”  
  
It was a good picture, Michael in the blue cop uniform and Captain America in civilian clothes. There was rubble in the background, and both were dusty, but they were smiling wide. It was nice to see that even right after the Battle people found happiness.  
  
“What was he like?” Alex asked as she handed the frame back.  
  
“I only got to talk to him for a few moments, but he was a really nice guy. Really down to earth for someone who has seen what he’s seen, you know?” Michael looked over what he had typed up during their interview. “I think we have everything we need Miss Harper. Let me just print this out for you to sign.”  
  
“Alex or A.J., please,” she smiles, relieved that they weren’t going to ask any more questions, “and thank you, I need to get to class. Chemistry exams wait for no woman.”  
  
Michael pushed the paper across the desk and Alex quickly signed it before pushing it back.  
  
“Markus has some outstanding warrants, not even touching on what he did to you. He will be put away for quite some time,” Michael said as he collected the papers and grabbed a card from his desk. “If you need anything else, feel free to call. I’ll put my cell phone number on the back.”  
  
“Thank you, Michael,” Alex said taking the card with a smile before leaving the station.  
  
A glint of something caught Alex’s eye before she mounted the steps to the science building. She stopped and looking into the storm drain to see a silver and turquoise bracelet down among the dead leaves and other trash that accumulated in storm drains. Alex ignored it and went inside, she needed to cram some more information into her brain before the test.  
  
“A.J. you look like shit.” Monica said as Alex slid into her chair in the classroom. The two had sat next to each other the first day by chance and had become classroom friends. While Alex had never worked up the courage to ask Monica to hang out with her outside of class, they told each other about their weeks and complained about the homework assignments when they saw each other.  
  
“That’s what happens when you work out. They tell you it’s good for you and yet you always feel like and look like death afterward.” Alex said, as she pulled out her notes. She personally thought her face looked a lot better this morning.  
  
“Did you hit yourself in the face with a dumbbell?” Monica asked as she lightly poked Alex’s cheek.  
  
Alex winced and gave her a look.  
  
“You remember me telling you about Markus?” Alex asked as her eyes skimmed the page. She hadn’t done all that much studying after James told her he was leaving. Her stress level about the test was slowly skyrocketing.  
  
“Oh yeah…Wait, he did this?” Monica’s eyes got wide. “Please tell me you called the police on his ass.”  
  
“I did, as far as I know he’s still in custody.” Alex didn’t add that was after he got out of the hospital for a broken arm and whatever was going on with his face. She didn’t want to answer the questions that would follow if she added that piece of information.  
  
“Girl, you should have gotten an apartment with someone. Or at least a building with a security guard to keep the crazies away.” Monica tugged on one of her curls. “I can see if there is an open apartment in my building. You might have to live with some random, but it is better than getting the shit beat out of you.”  
  
“Sounds like I’m not the only one who has crazy ex-boyfriends in her past,” Alex said with a laugh as she flipped over her notebook.  
  
“I’ve had my share,” Monica’s grimaced a little at the thought, “but they’ve never made me look like a Picasso painting.”  
  
“It’s not that bad.”  
  
“You keep tellin’ yourself that,” Monica said, pulling out her compact and checking her lipstick.  
  
Alex wished that she could be more like Monica, both in demeanor and style. Today Monica was in a red sweater, which set off her dark skin, and tight black skirt. The outfit was completed with black boots. She looked like a model and was also one of the smartest people Alex had ever met. You didn’t get a full ride scholarship for chemical engineering and become vice president of a sorority junior year without being remarkable.  
  
“I do appreciate the concern though,” Alex pulled out her pencil and calculator.  
  
“Girls have to look out for other girls,” Monica pulled out her lipstick and applied some more. “Lord knows no one else is.”  
  
The Professor walked into the room a few moments later. Soon Alex’s thoughts were filled with complex names and the periodic table. Alex flew through some of the questions, other’s taxed all her mental powers. However, she did get an answer for every question. An hour later she turned in the exam and left the room.  
  
“I am pretty sure my brain has leaked out of my ears and is all over the lab table in there,” Monica said as Alex walked into the hall. “Did you see it before you left?”  
  
“You were done in about twenty minutes, it couldn’t have been that bad. Did you wait for me?” Alex felt herself smile. She knew that it was a bit pathetic to be so happy, but Alex didn’t have many friends in the city.  
  
“Of course, who else am I going to complain to over drinks at lunch?” Monica asked with a bright smile. Alex had no idea Monica liked her enough to want to get lunch with her. It made her smile and blush a bit.  
  
“I would love too, you have no idea how much I would, but I already have plans.” It killed her to say those words. After Markus, Alex had stopped hanging out with the group of people she ran with during freshman year. Work had given Alex the social interaction she had needed, but she didn’t have any real friends on campus. Of course an offer to hang out would finally come on the one day she had to say goodbye to a man she just met.  
  
“Not with…” Monica let the sentence trail off. “You want me to come with? I might not look like it, but I’m good in a fight.”  
  
“Oh, no. No, someone else. I’ll be fine, but thank you, though.” Alex tried to convey just how much it meant to her. “Rain check on the lunch?”  
  
“We have to endure this torture next week don’t we? I’ll catch you then,” Monica said with a smile as they walked down the steps. Both girls put on their sunglasses as they walked into the late autumn afternoon. The sunlight was bright, but it wasn’t anywhere warm enough.  
  
“Lunch next week,” Alex said as she took a deep breath of the cold air.  
  
“Awesome. Oh and I’m from New Orleans, so if you need a Voodoo doll I can hook you up.” Monica said as she pulled out her phone.  
  
“You do Voodoo?”  
  
“Lord no, I don’t fall into that stereotype, thank you. Plus I wouldn’t mess with that nonsense. I’m just saying I know someone who knows someone who does. See you later.” Monica gave a small finger wave before she went on her way.  
  
James had said that he would meet her after class last night and she had given him directions. She didn’t see him anywhere in the crowds, so she leaned against the building to stay out of the way. New York University is, as promised, in the middle of the city so she had to stay out of the way or get run over.  
  
Now that the test was over, Alex turned her thoughts to James leaving. She knew that it was ridiculous to be so upset about it, she had only known him for two days. Yet, it felt as if he was going to leave a large hole in her life. Most of Alex’s injuries were fading, the bruises were yellowing and her wrist didn’t throb as much. Her ribs were still sore, but Alex knew it could have been worse. It would have been worse. Still, it was his life and she had no right to keep him.  
  
She walked over to the trash can on the side of the street, emptying a receipt out of her pocket because she couldn’t stand still, and caught sight of the bracelet again. Some sort of compulsion came over her and she knelt down and after a bit of maneuvering, grabbed the bracelet. It was cold against her palm and looked custom made. Someone was probably pissed that they had lost it. A headache started to set in, making this low humming sound in Alex’s ears as she ran back up the steps to drop the bracelet off in the lost and found, her good deed for the day.  
  
When she walked out into the sun and resumed her position against the wall again, she replayed the events of the morning. Alex had woken up at five-thirty in the morning when her alarm starting blaring. She groaned, and her joints snapped as she stretched. However, this was a daily ritual and it only took her ten minutes to get up and get her jogging clothes on.  
  
As she walked out into the living room, she knew there was a good possibility that the couch would be empty. That James disappeared in the middle of the night. However, he was asleep, his hair tousled. His lips were slightly parted and breathing softly.  
  
She resisted the urge to pull the blanket up around him and to push the hair out of his face. His eyes were moving behind his eyelids and Alex could tell that he was dreaming. She let herself wonder about what he was dreaming about, but stopped when she realized it probably wasn’t good. She left the apartment quietly. He was still asleep when she came back to shower and left to give her statement at the police station.  
  
“You must have been a million miles away,” James said, making Alex jump.  
  
“Sorry, that test really destroyed my mental functions,” Alex said as she pushed herself off the wall.  
  
“How did the exam go?” James only looked at his boots, not her.  
  
“Either did really well or completely failed it. There’s no in between,” Alex said with a sigh. “The West 3rd Commons is close for food. That work for you?”  
  
“Sure,” was the single word answer.  
  
“Do you even care? Because I’m down with McDonald's too,” Alex asked as they started to walk towards the restaurant.  
  
“Wherever you want to go.” James fell in beside her, but he sounded morose. It was hard for Alex not to be depressed when he wasn’t doing anything to lift her mood. Suddenly, the bright autumn day was just annoying. Alex wanted it to be raining.  
  
“You could have just left, you didn’t need to come to lunch.” Alex snapped. “If I wanted to be depressed, I could have done that on my own.”  
  
“If it’s easier for you to be alone, I’ll leave now,” James’s voice didn’t hold any of the anger Alex’s did. It was just sad.  
  
“That’s not-” Alex sighed. “Whatever.”  
  
She wanted to tell him that it would be easier if he didn’t leave at all, but she bit her tongue. She was being ridiculous, but she couldn’t help how she felt. She started to turn all of her earrings, anything to keep her busy. It was probably time to switch out the ones she could.  
  
When they got to the restaurant James held open the door for her and they walked in out of the cold. While the restaurant was usually busy, it was thankfully quite today. They got a table by the window and Alex sank gratefully into the red couch seat. James’s eyes watched the passersby on the street, his eyes tracking them before moving on to the next person.  
  
“Hello there, what can I get ya?” The waitress asked when she came over.  
  
“Can I have a rum punch please,” Alex handed over her ID as she ordered, knowing that she was going to be carded. The drink was going to cost as much as her meal, but Alex felt as if she deserved it.  
  
“And for you, doll?” The waitress asked.  
  
“Just water,” James didn’t turn from the window.  
  
Alex stopped herself from throwing the knife at him.  
  
“Do you have any idea where you’re going to go?” She asked when she couldn’t take the silence it anymore.  
  
“Why?” James eyes narrowed slightly.  
  
“Do you seriously think I would follow you? I am not psychotic, alright. I am just trying to make conversation. Sue me.”  
  
“I don’t want to fight with you.”  
  
“Then stop being so damn exasperating!” That outburst caused a few people to look over. Alex took a deep breath and calmed herself.  
  
“Probably up North, maybe into Canada,” James said finally. “I just feel like I need to get away for a while, from anything I might have known. But I really haven’t made up my mind.”  
  
Alex figured that was something that he should have thought about before deciding to just up and leave, but she kept the thought to herself. The decision was made out of emotion and not logic, she doubted he thought about more than getting away from her. That hurt.  
  
“Not going to go soak up the sun somewhere? I’d head to North Carolina, or Florida.” Alex said as she tried to keep the conversation going.  
  
“It would be hard to hide this,” James tilted his head toward his metal arm, “out on the beach.”  
  
“Fair point,” Alex said as the waitress came back. Alex took a large gulp from her very alcoholic drink before they both ordered the lunch special. The mood at the table had lightened considerably and Alex felt herself relax a bit.  
  
“So you’re a summer person?” James asked, sipping his water.  
  
“When you grow up surrounded by farms and not much else, you spend your summers running around the fields and jumping into creeks. I didn’t get this pale until I came to the concrete jungle. Sometimes the lack of green space still drives me a bit wild.” Alex’s freshman year was hard, she spent a lot of time in Central Park. Then she got so busy that she didn’t have time to be bothered by the lack of green.  
  
“I grew up playing baseball in the streets, dinging cars and breaking windows. I can’t tell you how many times I slid under a car to get called safe at third. We got covered in dirt and oil and got chased down the street by many angry car owners.” James smiled at the memory.  
  
“You a good baseball player?” Looking at his build, she guessed that he had a pretty good swing.  
  
“Not pro or anything, but I had an alright bat. I was a pretty good catcher. My throw to second was always a bit wild, though.” James’s chest puffed up a bit at this. This was the first time that Alex has seen him so confident and proud about something. It was endearing.  
  
It made her heart ache.  
  
“You play sports? Or just run around terrorizing all the neighborhood boys?” James asked as their salads and sandwiches showed up.  
  
“Play some pickup baseball, but wasn’t overly good at it. Volleyball for a few years in high school, but wasn’t enough of a contact sport for my taste. My brother taught me how to box, but I never competed. No one in our town wanted to fight a girl.” Alex explained.  
  
“Probably smart for their health,” James said seriously. “I boxed too.”  
  
“If that’s what it was it wouldn’t have pissed me off so much. And of course you did.” Alex rolled her eyes, but smiled.  
  
“I can’t see them being too fond of all the earrings on the farm,” James changed the subject.  
  
“The first three were fine, after that I started to get weird looks. If my mom ever saw my tattoos she would have a fit, but I’ve kept them hidden.”  
  
“How many do you have?” James asked, eyebrow raised.  
  
“Three.”  
  
“Where?”  
  
“There are some things a man should discover for himself.” Alex said with a smirk.  
  
James smirked a little and let his eyes slowly travel down Alex’s body and then back up. While the table blocked a good part of her body, Alex still felt herself get warm. Those eyes should be illegal.  
  
“I guess it’s going to remain a mystery,” James said, his face falling a bit.  
  
Alex felt as if she had been punched in the stomach. She had forgotten for a second that he was leaving. It had been nice.  
  
“You could always stay a bit longer,” Alex said into her salad.  
  
James didn’t say anything and when Alex looked up, his gaze had returned to the people passing the window.  
  
“I wish there was a way I could.” The statement was low, and his eyes were still watching the people outside, but Alex heard him.  
  
“No one is making you go.”  
  
“That’s the problem,” James moved his eyes back to her. “You aren’t making me go and I don’t want to go. That’s dangerous for multiple reasons. I’ve told you this.”  
  
“I know and I understand, but at the same time I don’t,” Alex’s voice was exasperated.  
  
“That makes a lot of sense,” James said with a ghost of a smile.  
  
“About as much as you do most of the time.” Alex winced a little at how harsh her words were. “Communication is a good thing, Tin Man.”  
  
“I wasn’t programmed to communicate,” James stated simply.  
  
“Programmed?” The word really stuck out to Alex.  
  
James opened his mouth, as if he was going to elaborate, but then decided better of it. With a shake of his head, he went back to his food. The rest of the lunch after that was subdued. There was some simple conversation, but mostly it was eating and Alex downing her rum punch.  
  
Soon the food was gone, but neither made a move to leave. Neither wanted the moment to be over, for James to leave. However, the glares from the waitress to open up the table got to be too much for Alex to bear. She knew that feeling all too well.  
  
“I guess it’s time for us to go.” Alex sounded as if she was pronouncing that her pet just died.  
  
“I’ll walk you home,” James said as he put a hundred dollar bill on the table and got up.  
  
“You don’t need to, it’s the middle of the day.” Alex didn’t want to have a goodbye. She was horrible at goodbyes. If he just left the restaurant now she wouldn’t be broken up about not properly saying her farewells, just that he was gone.  
  
“I want to. Alexandra, please.” It was the closest that Alex had ever heard him to pleading with her. She didn’t know whether she wanted to kiss him or punch him.  
  
“Alright, we should get going. I have work tonight.” Alex made her way out into the afternoon sun and took a deep breath of the winter air. It felt like shards in her lungs. That slight pain was exactly what she wanted, it helped her clear her head.  
  
“Do you close a lot of nights at the restaurant?” James asked as they started down the sidewalk.  
  
“Swing shift on Monday, then every night except Wednesday, and Sunday off.” It didn’t really leave a lot of time for anything else, but between that and a few loans she could live reasonably in the city.  
  
“And you walk home by yourself every night?” James’s tone was even, but Alex could feel his disapproval.  
  
“When I work with Jackie we walk most of the way together, but most of the time it’s just me. Like I said, it’s not usually a problem.” Alex didn’t know whether to be offended or touched by his worry.  
  
“You still shouldn’t put yourself in that situation,” James said as if it was that easy.  
  
Alex got paid a good wage, not to mention tips, with a great boss and reasonable hours. It was also only fifteen blocks from her apartment. There were people who would kill for her set up.  
  
“Believe it or not, I survived before I met you, James, and I will survive after you leave,” Alex’s voice had an edge to it. “I appreciate the concern, but don’t act like I’m a lost little girl in the big bad world.”  
  
“I know, I know,” James ran his hand through his hair. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop worrying.”  
  
“Well you will be up chilling with the moose in Canada and I’ll be the last thing on your mind.” Alex tried to feel the cheerfulness in her voice. It didn’t work.  
  
“You don’t really believe that, do you?” James looked at her out of the corner of his eye.  
  
Alex just shrugged.  
  
“You have an opinion about everything. I doubt that this topic is the one you don’t.” James pushed.  
  
“Any other time I can’t get you to say ‘boo’ and now you won’t just let it go.” Alex snapped as they waited for the light to turn.  
  
“I am running out of time to annoy you. Decided to make the most of what time I had left.” James gave her a smirk.  
  
Alex had to stop herself from smacking him. She took a deep breath and decided the best way to answer his question. Did she think that he would think about her after he left? Did she think she had made herself that important to him in the past two days?  
  
“I think you’ll be happy to be away from someone that attracts so much trouble,” Alex decided humor was the best route.  
  
“You don’t think that’s not going to make me worry about you?”  
  
“Sounds like you have a lot bigger people to worry about than a girl in New York City who has crappy ex-boyfriends. I give you three weeks until you forget what my name is.”  
  
“You have so little faith in me?”  
  
“Sweetheart, you forget what your name is half the time. I know that I make an impression, but not that much of an impression,” Alex laughed.  
  
“You underestimate the power of a girl, covered in blood, telling you not to kill the man who attacked her. It sticks with you,” James’s voice turned serious.  
  
“Well I’m glad I gave you an unlikely souvenir from your time in the Big Apple.” Alex ignored the seriousness. If she started to delve into her emotions about this now she might unravel. She would deal with it when it was more convenient. Like never.  
  
Suddenly, James put his arm around Alex’s waist. The contact made her jump, but he brought her close to his body and directed her down the nearest street. It was in the wrong direction from her apartment. The hair on Alex’s arm rose. She opened her mouth to ask James what the hell was going on.  
  
“Someone is following us,” James said softly in her ear. All the hairs on her neck joined the ones on her arms, but she didn’t doubt James’s assessment.  
  
“You recognize them?” Alex asked as she moved closer to him, a college couple out for a walk. A couple that might at that moment being tracked by killers. Alex didn’t even know if that  
  
was the proper way to classify them. She was terrified, but she kept her body language loose and a fake smile on her face.  
  
“I didn’t get a good look, but the same two have been with us since the restaurant.” He wasn’t conversing, he was giving a threat assessment.  
  
“Two? Since the restaurant?” Alex resisted the urge to look behind them. For some reason she was picturing Ninjas, men in all black with masks covering their face, even though she knew that was ridiculous. However, it was more terrifying to think of killers dressed like a college frat boy or a businesswoman.  
  
“I thought they would hang back until I got you home, but apparently they are impatient,” his voice was a low growl.  
  
James steered Alex through the city streets, taking lefts and rights in what seems like a haphazard manner. Soon she was hopelessly lost, but trusted that James knew where he was going. It would be a horrid time for his memory loss to get them lost in the city.  
  
“Should we go to the police?” Alex knew that was the stupid question that the girl in every action movie asked. This wasn’t an action movie though, this is real life, and the police could keep them safe for a few moments. She even had the number for a detective in her pocket.  
  
“They won’t be able to do anything,” James tugged her sharply to the right and into a narrow side street.  
  
“They have guns.”  
  
“These guys have bigger ones. They are also more precise and less hesitant to use them.”  
  
“Noted.” Everything that James had said before seemed all the more real to her now. Alex had seen and been around her fair share of guns, she lived in a farming town. Everyone had a shotgun to take care of wild animals threatening the livestock or eating the crops. Alex was even a pretty good shot herself, but she was content with using her father and mother’s weapons if she wanted to go shooting out in the back.  
  
James mumbled something under his breath in the language that Alex didn’t understand. However, she knew a swear word when she heard one.  
  
“They’ve realized we know they are following us,” James explained.  
  
“Should we run?” Alex was completely out of her depth. She had her knife in her bag, but other than that she was unarmed. She knew that James also carried a knife, but neither was going to be much help against two men with guns. Alex hated to run from a fight, but she knew when she was outmatched.  
  
James didn’t answer her question, but increased his walking speed. It wasn’t noticeable in his gait or breathing, but soon it was everything Alex could do not to start jogging. He had a good four inches on her and his movements were more fluidly.  
  
They turned again onto a quiet side street. James held up his hand to stop Alex and they both listened. A few streets over there was the sound of laughing and screaming children. However, where they were it was just the rustle of trash against the pavement.  
  
Then a man appeared at the end of the street. He was in the shadows so Alex couldn’t really see him, but she felt herself instinctively go up onto the balls of her feet. Fight or flight, both required quick feet.  
  
Another shadow joined the first, this one broader and taller than the first. James took a step forward and put himself between Alex and the men. They moved forward slowly, either sizing up the situation or trying not to scare them away.  
  
“Leave,” James said over his shoulder to Alex.  
  
“Not on your life,” Alex countered, as she slid her brass knuckles on to her hand.  
  
“It wasn’t a request.”  
  
“I don’t take orders.”  
  
James spared a glance in Alex’s direction, but didn’t continue to argue with her.  
  
Alex was a bit surprised to find that she was anticipating this encounter. After all this talk of vague threats and dangerous men, finally she would have a picture to go with the fear. She knew that they weren’t going to look like the villains in action movies, but still that was the picture that she was conjuring. Maybe it was too many Bond films in her youth.  
  
James however, was completely still, almost a statue. There was no anxiousness in his body, no tension. Alex knew how quickly that could change, but his calm was unsettling. Was it just the calm before the storm or was he slipping into Terminator mode?  
  
Alex decided to deal with one problem at a time. Crazy killer that she didn’t know before the crazy killer she did know.  
  
Finally, one of the men moved into the sunlight that was coming into the street. Alex felt her eyes go wide. She instantly recognized him, she had been looking at a picture of him earlier that day. There wasn’t anyone in the country who wouldn’t recognize the blond hair, blue eyes, and build of a Greek god.  
  
Captain America was standing in the middle of the street.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, just in regards to the cliff hanger comments. First, I really love reading your guys reactions/speculations about what is going to happen next. If you have any questions (that aren't spoilery) feel free to leave them in the comments and I will try and answer them for you. Just as a heads up though, there are going to be more cliff hanger chapters ahead so if that really isn't your thing...I don't know what to tell you. Maybe wait until the whole thing is publish? I hope to have the whole fic completed by the time Civil War comes out. 
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos, it means the world!

“What the actual fuck?” Alex said, more to herself than anyone else. Why was Captain America following them? Was he the enemy that James had kept warning her about? If so, who the hell was James?  
  
Then it hit her, Captain America’s name was Steve Rodgers. James had kept talking about his best friend named Steve.  
  
“Miss,” Steve called. “Could you come and talk to us please?”  
  
The ‘us’ was Captain America and another man that she didn’t recognize, but looked familiar. He was African American and looked like he was more than able to handle himself in a fight. Her brain was working to figure out where she knew him from, but then fight or flight took over again.  
  
“James, what is going on?” Alex tried to wrap her mind around what was happening. Things were clicking, but not clicking fast enough.  
  
“They think you’re in danger or are a danger. A hostage or my handler. They’re going to keep you away from me until they decide which.” James’s voice was cold and his eyes were like ice, fixed on Captain America.  
  
“Miss, can you please come over here?” Steve’s voice was more urgent.  
  
“I’m not in any danger,” Alex moved forward to try to defuse the situation. If she could just explain what was going on the whole thing could be resolved. Captain America couldn’t be the bad guy and neither could James. Everything was just a misunderstanding. Somehow this was just a cosmic joke.  
  
Alex only took two steps forward before a metal arm shot out and stopped her progress. She had run into walls that were more forgiving than that arm. When she looked over at James, his jaw was set. Alex’s heart pounded painfully against her ribs.  
  
“Bucky, you don’t want to hurt her. Let her come talk to us.” Steve’s voice was earnest and his expression was more sad than hostile.  
  
Bucky…Bucky Barnes? With one final whirl everything finally clicked into place so nicely that she swear she heard it. Alex turned and looked at James and that’s when she saw it. Cut the hair, shave his beard, give him a smile or a smirk, and he was the man that her grandfather would talk about when he talked about the war. Captain America’s second in command and best friend. The man who she had thought was extremely handsome as a girl and his story so tragic. He had almost become her fabled knight in shining armor. Other girls dreamed of King Arthur or Lancelot, Alexandra dreamed of Captain America and Bucky Barnes.  
  
“James Buchanan Barnes,” Alex said it to try to help her believe it, as if saying his whole name would break the spell somehow. The name sounded almost foreign on her lips. He should be almost a hundred years old, but like Steve he looked to be no older than thirty. The story that James had told her about being brought back to health replayed in her head. If they could give him a metal arm, could they also make him immortal?  
  
“That’s what they tell me,” James’s brow furrowed. Confusion was evident on his face, a face that was so clearly Bucky Barnes that she didn’t understand how she hadn’t seen it earlier.  
  
“Okay, alright, one thing at a time. We’ll figure that out later and figure this out now.” This was all getting far too weird for a girl from the Midwest to handle. She turned to look back at Captain America and took a deep breath.  
  
“I’m not his hostage.” She called out so that he could hear her. “I’m not in any danger. I’ve just been helping him while he’s in the city. It’s a bit of a long story.”  
  
“You’re a member of Hydra?” Steve asked, looking her up and down.  
  
“Hydra? Not that I’m aware of, since I have no idea what the hell that is.” Alex called. Wasn’t that a Greek monster of some kind? Or a branch of the Nazi’s? She cast a glance over at James, but he wasn’t looking at her. He was focused only on Steve and the confusion was so extreme that it was almost painful  
  
“What’s your name?” The man with Steve asked.  
  
“What’s yours?” Alex countered.  
  
“Sam Wilson.”  
  
“Alexandra, Alex, A.J., whatever works.” Alex cut off her rambling. This was good, this was civilized conversation. Things were looking up.  
  
“A.J., I think we all need to sit down and have a talk because obviously there is some misunderstanding going on here,” Sam said.  
  
The more Alex looked at the man she realized she had seen him before. His picture had been shown with all that fighting happened in D.C. when the S.H.I.E.L.D building fell. He had a sick set of wings from the looks of the grainy live action shots. He didn’t seem to have them on now.  
  
“I think that might be best, James…” When Alex looked at him, however, the rest of the words died in her throat. The confusion was gone. His eyes were no longer blue, they were blank. Dead eyes. Killer eyes.  
  
“James, there’s no danger here,” Alex said, putting her hand on his shoulder. “It’s fine.”  
  
“A.J., you might want to take a few steps back,” Sam pulled a gun and pointed it at the ground. The sight of the weapon kicked her adrenaline up a few more notched.  
  
Alex knew that Sam was right, but she ignored him. This situation didn’t need to get out of hand. James against Steve and Sam was not a fight she wanted to see. Markus’s face flashed in her mind. Steve could probably take punches from a metallic arm, Sam probably couldn’t.  
  
When James saw Sam’s gun, it was all over. He swung his arm backward and Alex was thrown to the ground. The world went black for half a second, the air knocked out of her lungs. She was getting really sick of being tossed around like a rag doll.  
  
The sound of fighting brought Alex into a sitting position, trying to focus on what was going on. For a brief moment there was two of everything and she tasted blood in her mouth. Then the scene in front of her came into focus.  
  
James and Steve were fighting, blow for blow, with terrifying force. Without his shield she worried about Steve being able to dodge James’s attacks, but he seemed to be holding his own. Sam still had the gun drawn, but he was also making his way over to her. His eyes watched the whirlwind of fighting to take a shot if need be, but obviously trying to protect Alex.  
  
“I need to stop this,” Alex coughed as she got to her feet. She could barely stand and once again her ribs screamed in protest. She might actually have a broken one this time.  
  
“Just take it easy, you can’t get in the middle of this,” Sam said now that he was close enough to talk to her. The fury and speed of the fight made that obvious, but Alex had never been one to let that stop her.  
  
“So we should just stand here and let them beat each other to a pulp?” Alex asked.  
  
“You should stand here,” Sam corrected before he moved to join the fight. As much as it made her angry, Alex could only watch as the three men battled. Alex wanted this to end, wanted to get James back, but even she wasn’t stupid enough to get into the middle of a fight. James had to be in the wrong. Captain America couldn’t be the bad guy, could he?  
  
Steve landed a solid punch on James and he stumbled backward. Sam saw his opening and charged to tackle James. It might have worked too, if James hadn’t seen him at the last minute. He spun and tossed Sam through the air. Sam crashed against a parked car and the window shattered. The sound he made when he hit the ground was sickening. For half a heartbeat Alex held her breath until Sam let out a moan to show he was still alive.  
  
In the seconds that Steve turned his attention to his friend, James got the upper hand. After three hits to the stomach, James picked Steve up and tossed him against a building with terrifying force. Alex held her breath now that the threat was neutralized, hoping that James would stop the assault.  
  
He didn’t. He moved in for the kill.  
  
“That’s enough!” Alex screamed.  
  
James stopped his forward progression and turned his gaze on her. The eyes were dead and he was sizing her up. The fear was so thick that Alex could barely breathe as they stared at one another.  
  
“James, you aren’t in danger. That’s enough,” Alex’s voice was shaking.  
  
For a second she thought she had gotten through. For a second she thought that he saw her. But then the second passed.  
  
He was on top of her before she saw him coming. The sound of her purse hitting the street came seconds before her own body followed. She protected her skull from hitting the asphalt, but the rest of her body took the brunt of the fall. She couldn’t even get her bearings before hands pinned her to the ground. His knee was on her stomach, making it almost impossible for her to get air in her lungs.  
  
Instinctually Alex’s hands came up to push against James. Her right hand found his face, pushing at it, as she tried to get air back in her lungs. Tears were streaming down her face from the pain, but she tried to form words. Little black dots started to dance in front of her eyes. Her fingers dug into his hair, but she couldn’t get any words out.  
  
Then James lifted his weight. The eyes were still blank, but the motion of destruction stopped. He was just staring down at her as if she was an alien.  
  
“James, please,” Alex coughed. “I can’t breathe.”  
  
If he used the same force he used on Sam and Steve, Alex knew she wouldn’t survive. If he used the force that he used on Markus, she knew she wouldn’t survive. For the amount of talking Alex did, she knew her limits. She had to get through to him. Just the force of him pinning her to the ground was making her bones and muscles sear with pain.  
  
Suddenly the weight was off of Alex. She rolled to her side to see Steve had tackled James off of her. Alex closed her eyes and coughed a few more times.  
  
When she opened her eyes James was gone.  
  
Alex laid there and coughed, trying to take stock of her injuries. She didn’t think anything was broken, but she knew as soon as she moved, everything was going to hurt more than it already did. Her wrist was screaming at her and she was pretty sure her ribs were just giving up at this point.  
  
“Well, that went about as well as expected,” Sam said as he got to his feet. He had a nice sized cut on his arm and had a bloody nose. “You alright?”  
  
The question was directed at Steve who just nodded. He was breathing heavy, but other than that didn’t seem that much worse for wear. He was going to have one hell of a bruise on his stomach, Alex guessed.  
  
“Are you alright?” Steve asked, crouching down beside her. The concern on his face was genuine, but that didn’t stop her from being angry. She couldn’t even really comprehended that Captain America was talking to her so she ignored it.  
  
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” She snapped as he attempted to get to her feet. “He has memory problems and you confront him in the middle of the damn street?”  
  
“Memory problems?” Steve was taken aback by her anger and watched as she tested out her legs. They were shaky, but they stayed underneath her. She tried to cover it up by knelling to pick up her purse. Any other time, meeting Steve Rodgers would be like meeting a fairy tale character, but Alex just could not deal with that right now.  
  
“Someone needs to start explaining what is going on right now.” Alex faced the two men channeling her fear into rage.  
  
“Why are you yelling at us?” Sam asked. “Who the hell are you?”  
  
“Who the hell are you?”  
  
“Both of you knock it off,” Steve cut in. “Alexandra, I’m sorry that you were in danger, but we need you to tell us about Bucky. Anything you know could be helpful.”  
  
“Don’t call me Alexandra, and I bet it will be, but why the hell should I?” Alex asked as she folded her arms over her chest.  
  
“Why are you acting like we’re the bad guys?” Sam asked.  
  
“Because I was walking down the street and then suddenly I was in the middle of a battle. I don’t appreciate it.” Alex ran her fingers over her sides to make sure nothing was broken, not that she would really be able to tell one way or another. Since she could still breathe, she figured she was okay.  
  
“You were with a known killer.” Sam waved his hand in frustration.  
  
“He wasn’t the one who pulled a gun, was he?”  
  
“He has a fucking metal arm!”  
  
“I think we all need to stop yelling,” Steve cut in. Both Sam and Alex turned to glare at him, but fell silent. They stood there breathing heavily and staring at one another.  
  
“You should probably get yourself checked out,” Alex finally said pointing to Sam’s cut. “You took a pretty good hit against that car.”  
  
“You took a pretty good hit against the ground. Doesn’t look like your first tussle either,” Sam pointed out. The next person who mentioned the bruise on her face was going to get kicked.  
  
“These are from someone else, not James, if that’s what you’re thinking. It’s a long story.” The last three days were becoming one very long and very complicated story.  
  
“He was going to kill you, you know that right?” Sam said, not buying her story of another assailant.  
  
“He’s dangerous,” Steve added.  
  
Alex rolled her eyes.  
  
“No shit, but he wasn’t going to kill me. I mean, he is dangerous, but he was fine until you two showed up.” Alex countered. She left out the part that he had almost killed at least three men. Decided that was something to bring up after everything else had been explained.  
  
“Just because he was talking to you doesn’t mean he was safe. He might have been on a mission and you were helping him to his goal.” Steve’s voice was low and sad.  
  
“Is that so? Was his mission cleaning my house? Protecting me from my ex-boyfriends? Assholes on the train? Walking me home from work? Because if so he is extremely overqualified,” Alex snorted. “How about we ask the question about why he is still alive after dying almost seventy years ago?”  
  
“He cleaned your apartment?” Sam’s voice made it evident that he couldn’t picture the scene.  
  
“There’s something seriously wrong with him, he has a metal arm for God sake, but he isn’t a monster. He was remembering things, who he was. I think…” Alex hesitated for a moment. “I think he was remembering growing up with you.”  
  
Steve flinched as if she had actually struck him.  
  
“Why do you say that,” Steve’s voice was wounded.  
  
“I just…” Alex felt herself deflate. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Steve Rodger’s feelings, even if she was pissed off.  
  
“You aren’t looking too good. We should probably get you somewhere where you can take a seat and recover.” Sam cut in.  
  
“Says the man bleeding from his nose.” All the bite was gone from Alex’s voice.  
  
“You two are giving me a headache,” Steve mumbled to himself.  
  
“You need to come with us to Stark Tower, anyway. We can get someone to look at you there.” Sam looked Alex up and down, assessing if she was a threat.  
  
“I don’t need to do anything.” If there was one thing Alex hated, it was being told what to do. The last time someone did, she moved a thousand miles away.  
  
“You’re right, you don’t,” Steve said. “But I think you want to help Bucky just as much as we do.”  
  
“I think I want, and need, to know what the hell is going on,” Alex’s voice had jumped a few octaves and she realized she was getting hysterical. She tried to take a deep breath, but it came out as a gasp.  
  
“Which we will explain once we get somewhere that we can have this conversation. Not next to a damaged car,” Steve’s voice was calm and softer, attempting to help her relax.  
  
“My apartment. We can go to my apartment.” It was the only safe space she could think of. She went from having a policy of not inviting men to her apartment to have three superheroes there in as many days.  
  
“I’d rather we went to Stark Tower,” Steve said.  
  
“I don’t care,” Alex sighed as she started limping down the street. “I’m not going anywhere but my apartment, unless you are going to drag me to Stark Tower kicking and screaming. You do that and I promise you I will die before I tell you a damn thing. I’m going to my apartment to have a shower and change. You can come or not.”  
  
“Could be a trap,” Sam said.  
  
“Yes, because I look so dangerous and menacing,” Alex snapped over her shoulder.  
  
“Right now…” Sam countered.  
  
Alex snorted, she would have liked Sam in any other situation.  
  
“Maybe we should get you to a hospital? That limp doesn’t look good,” Steve said as he started to follow her.  
  
“I don’t do hospitals.” Alex had a slight fear of hospitals, she thought everyone did, but the reason she didn’t go to them is because she was still under her parents’ insurance. They would be notified about any medical procedures. Her parents would call Jake, and Jake would be on the next plane to JFK. That was literally the last thing she needed right now.  
  
“Too bad Doctor Banner is out of the city, he could look at her.” Sam said as he fell in on Alex’s other side.  
  
“What part of me not going to Stark tower aren’t you two understanding?”  
  
Any other time Alex would have been salivating to get a look inside Stark Tower. It wasn’t just the mystery and intrigue that surrounded Tony Stark; a man whose whole life was public, yet no one seemed to really know anything about. Stark industries was also starting a medical division under Doctor Banner, that was combining technology, science, and medicine that was both cutting edge and almost out of science fiction novels.  
  
After that, there was little conversation as they walked to Alex’s apartment. They got a few looks as they walked, though whether people were staring at how beat up they were or because they recognized Captain America, Alex didn’t know. She didn’t care.  
  
It seemed like years later that they finally got to her building. Alex unlocked the door and stopped to look up the staircase. Five flights might as well have been five hundred.  
  
“Problem?” Sam asked as they piled into the foyer behind Alex.  
  
“No, just not looking forward to this,” Alex said as she started up the stairs. They got to the fifth floor and Alex almost collapsed against the door as she searched for her keys in her bag. She finally opened the door and dropped her bag on the floor inside the door.  
  
“Make yourselves comfortable, I’m going to change.” Alex didn’t wait for an answer as she went into her bedroom. There was an envelope propped against the pillow on her bed and only one person who could have left it.  
  
Alex collapsed on her bed and picked up the envelope. It was heavy and filled with something. Her fingers played across the flap of the envelope, but didn’t open it. She couldn’t deal with that emotional roller coaster, not with having to face Steve and Sam in the other room. Instead she tucked it under her pillow.  
  
Changing into a pair of sweatpants and a sweater, Alex reemerged. She ducked into the bathroom and got as much dirt and grim off her as she could. She found Steve in one of the kitchen chairs while Sam leaned against the kitchen counter, a wet paper towel cleaning off the blood from his nose. He had gotten a bandage from somewhere and already had the cut on his arm bandaged up.  
  
“I can get you a washcloth if you want,” Alex offered.  
  
“This is fine,” Sam said as he wet the paper towel a bit more.  
  
Alex looked over at the kitchen table to see two blue eyes staring at her, taking her in. He met her gaze with simple curiosity, not the serious expression that was seen in all his pictures. It made him seem both younger and older. After a few minutes he looked away.  
  
Captain America was sitting in her kitchen. Steve fucking Rodgers was sitting at her kitchen table, looking around as if he was actually interested in where she lived.  
Alex walked over to the fridge.  
  
“Want a beer?” Alex asked as she pulled three from the fridge.  
  
“I don’t know if it’s the time to be drinking,” Steve said as Alex handed one to Sam.  
  
“True, but honestly, I need one.” Alex said as she twisted off the top and took a long drink from the bottle. “I can get you something else if you want.”  
  
“You know, I probably could use one too.” Steve said holding out his hand. Alex gave him the bottle and sat down at the table. It was interesting about how up close, Steve was both inhumanly handsome and yet he also looked so damn normal. Not some fictional character come to life, but a man who had seen a lot. It almost made him more attractive, which shouldn’t be theoretically possible.  
  
“Bucky…he’s been living here?” Steve asked as Sam sat down at the table as well, angling his chair so that he could keep an eye on the door.  
  
“Buck-James? Yeah, it just kind of happened.” Alex took another long pull from her beer. She had been living with Bucky, the man she had been madly in love with when she was eight, and she hadn’t even realized it. She remembered Jake almost killed her when she stole Bucky’s trading card from the Howling Commandos set that their grandfather had given him.  
  
“You call him James?” Steve’s lips tipped up a little.  
  
“That’s how he introduced himself, well, when he finally did introduce himself. I had to call him Tin Man for a while.”  
  
“When I met him he tried to shoot me. No, that’s not right. First, he pulled the wheel out of my car while I was driving and then tried to shoot me.” Sam said, his tone was playful, but Alex didn’t doubt that he was telling the truth.  
  
“When I first met him I had to stop him from killing a man,” Alex teased back just as honestly. “In his defense though, the guy had it coming.”  
  
“And you invited him in to play house?” Sam asked, sipping his beer.  
  
“That’s not…” Alex sighed because that has to be what it looked like to them. “It wasn’t like that.”  
  
“Did you? Stop him from killing that man mean,” Steve asked hopefully.  
  
“Yeah…It’s a bit of a long story,” Alex sighed, not knowing if she could deal with a whole retelling of the last three days. She didn’t even know if she could remember everything. Some things were crystal clear while others were a blur.  
  
“Let me get you another beer and you can tell us all about it,” Sam said as he got up and grabbed the last three bottles from the fridge. Alex hadn’t even realized she had finished hers.  
  
“Get the bag of chips from that cupboard while you’re at it.” She knew it was stress eating, but she didn’t care. She ran every morning for a reason. Sam brought the goods back to the table and settled in. Steve wrapped his hands around the bottle and looked at Alex expectantly.  
  
“So it all started Friday night when I was walking home from work,” Alex started. It took her almost an hour to tell the whole story, editing her emotions and some of the personal moments, but telling all the rest. When she finished Sam and Steve just stared at her for a few heartbeats, taking it all in.  
  
“That’s…” Steve’s words failed him.  
  
“Please tell me you’re joking cause if not,” Sam shook his head and laughed a little, “I don’t know if you are compassionate or just plain stupid. But I do know you have some shitty luck.”  
  
“Tell me about it.” Alex gave him an answering smile. She was starting to warm up to Sam. That didn’t mean she trusted him for a second.  
  
“I can’t understand why he saved you in that alley,” Steve said, to which Alex gave him a look. “Not that I wanted you to be hurt, but he was programmed to be mission oriented. You weren’t his mission.”  
  
“Programmed, why does everyone keep using that word?” Steve and Sam looked at each other. “Hey, I spilled my secrets, time to spill some. What the hell is going on?”  
  
“This is all classified information.” Steve stalled.  
  
“You think I am going to ring up U.S. Weekly and fill them in the moment you tell me?”  
  
“What do you want to know? I’m not saying I’ll tell you, but you have the right to some answers.” Steve grabbed a handful of chips.  
  
“How isn’t he dead? Why does he have a metal arm? What the hell happened to him? Why are you saying he was programmed? Just to name a few.” All the questions Alex had been dying to ask James came tumbling out of her mouth.  
  
“Well, I don’t have the whole story myself, but I can tell you what I know. I think you deserve that much. I thought Bucky died back in the war during a mission. He fell from a moving train into the ravine below. I’m sure you know that. No one should have been able to survive. They must have experimented on him when they captured him the first time, but I’m not sure…” Steve took a deep breath and a swig of his beer.  
  
“Captured the first time?” Alex racked her brain trying to remember American History lessons about World War II and the Howling Commandos. At one point and time she could have recounted everything there was to know about Bucky Barnes, but that had been replaced with chemistry formulas, song lyrics, and lord knows what else.  
  
“It’s not really important. The 107th, Bucky’s division, had been captured and I went to get them out.” Steve said with a wave of his hand.  
  
“By yourself?” Alex remembered this story, it was Captain America’s first missions. She had also seen the footage of the Battle of New York, yet still it seemed impossible that Steve could kill anyone, let alone a lot of anyones. Steve was so…well…normal.  
  
“Yeah, he has a bad habit of jumping out of planes on suicide missions,” Sam chimed in.  
  
“One thing at a time,” Alex said, brushing Sam’s comment aside for later. “So James falls, presumably to his death. Then what?”  
  
“That’s where things get…fuzzy. We think that they wiped his memory, or he lost it in the fall, either way he was a blank slate. They took him, gave him the metal arm, and trained him to be a type of assassin that no one had seen before. A ghost.”  
  
“They? We?” Alex prompted.  
  
“They being Hydra, We being, well, the good guys.” Steve explained.  
  
“I saw some of the assassin skills, melting into the shadows and appearing out of nowhere. But the technology in that arm is pretty advanced, it couldn’t have been created during World War II, could it? And that doesn’t explain how he is still alive.”  
  
“If you’d let me finish,” Steve said with a small smile.  
  
“Sorry, bad habit.”  
  
“As far as we can tell they, Hydra, perfected cryogenic freezing, even back then. Maybe they got it from someone else. I don’t know. They would bring him out when they needed him for a mission and then freeze him again. Over the years he has been used in countless assassinations. As for the arm, we still don’t know much about that other than it packs one hell of a punch.”  
  
Alex opened her mouth, thousands of questions threatening to spill out, but she took up her beer bottle instead. She took a few gulps and waited for Steve to finish the story.  
  
“Recently, he was brought for a very specific mission. You no doubt saw the destruction of the S.H.I.E.L.D building in Washington? Well, Bucky was brought out of freeze to kill the director of S.H.I.E.L.D and after that to kill me and another agent since we were threats. He failed on both counts and I have been tracking him down ever since.” Steve finished his story and then finished his beer.  
  
“Tracking him to do what?”  
  
“To talk to him, to help him, to contain him, I’m not exactly sure.”  
  
“But not to kill him?”  
  
“I couldn’t.”  
  
At those words, the knot in Alex’s chest untied and she took a breath she wasn’t aware she was holding. She wasn’t sure what she would have done if Steve said that he was going to kill James. She was glad she didn’t have to figure it out.  
  
“Not unless we have to,” Sam added. Both Steve and Alex turned to look at him, but he just shrugged.  
  
“Someone has to be serious here. We can all be sentimental, but at the end of the day he is a threat. Someone has to be willing to take out that threat.” Sam explained. Steve sighed, but Alex just glared at him.  
  
“He’s no more of a threat than you or Steve are. He is confused and he is scared, but he doesn’t want to be a mindless killer. He isn’t a mindless killer anymore,” Alex explained.  
  
“Oh, really? Cause, he sure the hell didn’t look all that friendly in the street out there.” Sam countered.  
  
“Confused?” Steve perked up a bit at this.  
  
“He…well…I think he is starting to get his memory back. I might have left a few things out of my story.” Alex gave a sheepish smile to Steve.  
  
“You don’t say,” Sam grumbled.  
  
“When he first came into the alley to save me, I think…well…I think he thought I was you. Just from what he said and your known history of getting into back alley fights.”  
  
“Small, thin, in a fight that they can’t win, sounds about right.” Steve laughed and leaned back in the chair. “Pre-serum me, of course.”  
  
“Obviously. He talked about you a lot, actually, well the small amount that he talked. Though it was all from before the war from the sound of it. He wasn’t exactly open about it, but he would drop small statements now and again. I should have put the pieces together, but I didn’t think Bucky Barnes was still alive.” Even saying the name didn’t feel right. He was James, the man that saved her in the alley, the man that bought her bagels, that checked to see if she had broken ribs, and that had held her when she cried. The two pictures, two ideas, just didn’t merge.  
  
“What else did he say?” Steve leaned forward hungry for any information that she could provide.  
  
“Not much, to be honest, it was like pulling teeth to get him to say anything. He remembered that he was from Brooklyn, but then he got there and couldn’t remember anything. Probably because it had been decades since he had been there,” Alex finished her beer.  
  
“There’s no way you could have known,” Steve sighed. “He was pretty unrecognizable with the beard and the hair.”  
  
“And the dead eyes when he shut himself off.” Alex shivered thinking about those blank blue eyes. “Not exactly what he looked like in pictures.”  
  
Everyone was silent after that, all wrapped up in their own thoughts. Alex couldn’t read Steve or Sam any more than she could read James. She didn’t waste too much energy on it, she didn’t have that much to expend.  
  
“So…now what?” Alex asked as she tugged on her hair. She had thousands of questions, but was suddenly too tired to ask any of them.  
  
“You shouldn’t be here by yourself. If we found Bucky, we can’t be sure that Hydra didn’t as well.” Steve said as he pulled out his cell phone. He hit a button and held it up to his ear.  
  
“I do not need a babysitter,” Alex said. Neither of them listened to her.  
  
“You might also be Hydra, we really haven’t established that yet either.” Sam smiled when he said it, but she was sure he trusted her less than she trusted him.  
  
“Hey Nat, is Clint in the country?” Steve waited as the woman on the other line said something. “Right, well I have an apartment that I need watched. Nothing major, but she might be a target for Hydra. Have him give me a call.”  
  
“Who’s he talking to?” Alex asked Sam.  
  
“A friend of his. I would tell you more, but then she’d probably have to kill you,” Sam said with a smile.  
  
“Comforting,” Alex rubbed her temples as Steve rattled off her address to the person on the phone.  
  
“Sweetheart, we’re superheroes. We aren’t exactly safe to be around.” Sam pointed out as he moved to give Steve privacy.  
  
“Don’t call me sweetheart.”  
  
“Sorry, A.J., then.” Sam quickly corrected himself as he moved into the living room. “You have gotten yourself in way over your head.”  
  
“Thank you Einstein, I hadn’t figured that out when a man who had a metal arm showed up in my life.” Alex flopped down on the couch and pinched the bridge of her nose.  
  
“Hey,” Sam sat down next to her and gave her a friendly nudge with his knee. “It’s going to be alright. This is nothing we can’t handle. You’ll be fine.”  
  
“It’s not me I’m worried about.”  
  
Sam just stared at her as he took a sip of his beer.  
  
“Okay, so I’m a little worried about myself, but I am more worried about James,” Alex confessed. “He doesn’t have two superheroes protecting him. He’s lost and confused and by himself with God knows who after him.”  
  
“You get attached quickly don’t you,” Sam said with a smile.  
  
“I just,” Alex shrugged. “It’s hard to explain.”  
  
“You sleeping with him?” Sam asked as he got comfortable on the couch. Alex almost choked.  
  
“Excuse me?” Her voice was three octaves too high, which made it sound as if they were sleeping together. “Why would you think that? What kind of person do you think I am?”  
  
“No one cares about someone as much as you care about him in less than a week unless they are sleeping together.” Sam pointed out.  
  
“Maybe I’m just a really good person with a big heart?” Alex said, but Sam just shook his head.  
  
“Yes, your cheery disposition really showcases that,” Sam laughed. That’s when Alex realized that he was joking with her. “No one’s heart is that big unless they are getting a little something something in return.”  
  
Alex felt like her face was on fire, but also knew she didn’t have anything to be ashamed of. The most that had happened was she saw him in a towel and vice versa. Even if they had slept together, they were both consenting adults. However, she had thought about being with James more than enough times to make her feel guilty.  
  
“You seem to care a lot about Steve, are you two sleeping together?” Alex countered.  
  
Sam just smiled and winked at her before he took a swig of his beer.  
  
“Alright,” Steve said as he entered the room, “someone is going to be watching the apartment to make sure that no one sneaks in while you’re gone and so that you’re safe.”  
  
“Do you really think that’s necessary?” Alex asked as she looked over the couch at him.  
  
“I don’t want to take any chances,” Steve said as he leaned against the wall.  
  
“Plus, you want to know if James comes back so you can grab him.”  
  
“Talk, not grab,” Steve corrected.  
  
Alex didn’t believe him for a second. She tried to be objective and see it from their point of view. He was an assassin who had been around for decades, with who knows how many kills. Getting him into a controlled environment would be safest for them. Probably safest for everyone.  
  
“There really isn’t anything I can say to stop you is there?”  
  
“Not a thing,” Sam said with a smile.  
  
“It’s just going to be temporary,” Steve added.  
  
“Who is my guardian in the shadows?” Alex sighed. She might as well accept her fate. She would just have to remember to close her curtains when she changed.  
  
“Agent Barton, Clint. He’s is going to be stationed in the building across the alley so he has eyes on the apartment.” Steve explained.  
  
“Here, let me give you my number so that if he needs to get a hold of me, he can without breaking down my door. I just got a new door after all.” Alex said as she grabbed a notebook off the coffee table and wrote down her number. Before she could hand it over to Steve, Sam grabbed it from her hand and typed it quickly into his phone.  
  
“You could’ve asked.” Alex laughed as Sam passed the paper to Steve, who did the same before pocketing the paper.  
  
“Would you have given it to us?” Sam asked.  
  
“Steve, yeah. You…?” Alex shrugged.  
  
“Oh, I see how it is,” Sam laughed. He had a great laugh, nice and rich. Alex felt herself smile as well. She didn’t trust Sam, but it was damn hard not to like him.  
  
Somewhere outside church bells started to ring. Alex listened to the tolls not really paying attention until she realized that there were three tolls.  
  
“Shit,” Alex said, scrambling to her feet. “Fuck.” She said when her injured leg protested to the sudden weight.  
  
“What?” Steve and Sam tensed at her first outburst. Alex was leaning against the back of the couch and tried to control the pain.  
  
“I have to be at work at four. I need to shower and change and do something with my face.” Alex explained as she hobbled towards the bathroom.  
  
“I think you might want to take the night off. You had kind of a rough day,” Steve said as he moved and put his arm around her waist to help support her. Alex was grateful for the assistance, but it was unneeded. She shook off his arm and he let go of her.  
  
“The concern is noted and appreciated, but this is actually the least eventful day of my week so far,” Alex said with a laugh.  
  
“We can’t have someone tailing you around the city. We need you to be somewhere we can watch you.” Sam explained.  
  
“I’m not going to put my life on hold. If that gets me killed, so be it, but I am not going to be a prisoner in my home because some unknown threat may or may not be after me. Plus, don’t you think you two hanging about will tip them off that I might know something?” Alex grabbed a clean towel out of the closet.  
  
“One night at home isn’t going to kill you,” Steve said, his voice pleading. He looked like a big, muscular golden retriever that you just told you were going to that park and he couldn’t come. It was awful. She had to resist the urge to scratch him behind the ear.  
  
“Do you think that this apartment is free? That they let me live here out of the goodness of their hearts? That food magically appears in my fridge and toilet paper in my cupboard?” Alex asked as she limped down the hall. “You want to watch the apartment, I can’t stop you, but I need to go to work.”  
  
“Alright, alright, but I’m going to give you my number and Clint’s. You see anything weird you call me or him right away. Understand?” Steve said as he found a piece of paper and jotted down his number for her.  
  
“Aye, aye, Captain.” Alex called before disappearing into the bathroom.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I was having some problem formatting so, just as a head up text messages are going to have ' ' around them instead of the " " for speech. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Please let no one be in my apartment,” Alex chanted quietly to herself as she slid her key into the lock. The shift would have been hectic on a regular day, but the limp from the tussle in the alley made it brutal. The only good thing about the constant rush was that no one had time to notice or comment on her new injuries. She had also made good tips.  
  
The apartment was dark and silent. Alex sighed and flipped on the kitchen light. She put her purse on the counter and kicked off her shoes. She regretted that she hadn’t saved a beer this afternoon to have right now. Still, the quiet, empty apartment was welcome.  
  
Alex’s cell phone started to ring in her purse. The read out was an unknown number.  
  
“Hello?” Alex answered as she limped into the living room and flopped onto the couch.  
  
“Hi, this is Clint Barton,” the voice on the other line said.  
  
“The guy watching my apartment. Nice to finally talk to you,” Alex said with a smile.  
  
“Likewise. Watching the apartment is why I’m calling. Did you just get home ‘cause lights just turned on,” Clint explained.  
  
“I did. Do you want me to call when I come and go or give you my schedule or something?” She didn’t want someone to know where she was at every second. It was annoying and made her feel like she was seventeen again. Her parents had tried to impose a curfew on her and she was gone for three days and almost joined a motorcycle gang. However, she knew that her parents wouldn’t call the SWAT team to kick her door in if she didn’t phone when she said she would.  
  
“You don’t sound like you like that idea.”  
  
“No offence, but I don’t like any of this.”  
  
“You weren’t the one that has been sitting here looking at dark windows for hours.”  
  
“Point taken, but it doesn’t look like there is anything either of us can do about it.”  
  
“Hey, I spent the last three weeks in the desert. In comparison, this is a pretty nice gig. Now I at least have a bed and food.” Clint laughed.  
  
“Should you be telling me all this? Isn’t it classified information?” Alex smiled and shook her head even though she knew he couldn’t see her.  
  
“Probably not, but I don’t think you’re going to rat me out.” Clint said with a laugh. “As for your schedule, I’ll figure it out soon enough. Just do me a favor and flash the living room lights twice at night when you come in and keep the curtains open when you leave.”  
  
“Will do, you need me to run food over to you or anything?” Alex asked.  
  
“What do you think Steve is for? Talk to you later,” Clint said before ending the call.  
  
Alex dropped the phone and stared at the ceiling for a while. She had class at ten the next morning, reading for which she hadn’t done, and then work at five. Alex tried to tell herself that she would do the reading tomorrow morning, but she knew that was a lie. Somehow articles about Japanese Art history just didn’t seem important after meeting superheroes. At least she had gotten the math problems out of the way earlier in the week.  
  
Alex opened her eyes to her alarm blaring from her phone. It was five-thirty in the morning and she was still in her work clothes for the night before. Drool was caked on the side of her face and she didn’t even want to know what the makeup situation was. At least the curtains were closed so Clint hadn’t seen her impersonating Sleeping Beauty. There were a few minutes debating about whether to go back to sleep or to go for a run.  
  
Either way, she had to pee, so Alex got herself to her feet. Surprisingly, her leg didn’t hurt anywhere near as much as it had the night before. By the time she had finished her business, Alex decided to go jogging. She washed her face and then pulled on her workout clothes. After two aspirin Alex plugged in her phone to charge it, grabbed her keys and IPod, and headed out into the late autumn morning.  
  
The phone was ringing when Alex entered the apartment. She kicked the door closed before running over to answer it.  
  
“Yeah,” she answered breathlessly.  
  
“You forgot to open your curtains,” Clint answered.  
  
“Sorry, I didn’t think about it before I left.”  
  
“No problem, just do it before you leave next time. Also, what’s your jogging route?”  
  
“Why?” Alex asked as she moved into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water.  
  
“No real reason. Just, if you ever want a partner I would be willing to run with you. Train you even,” Clint explained.  
  
“I do this so that I don’t gain weight from eating French fries almost every night. I don’t think I need to train,” Alex panted.  
  
“If you keep getting yourself into trouble, a little training couldn’t hurt. Just think about it,” Clint said, sensing Alex’s refusal. “You know where to find me.”  
  
Alex hung up and went to shower. She had new bruises on her arms from where James had pinned her to the ground yesterday. These were added to the collection of bruises on her abdomen and other parts of her body. Still, she knew it could have been a lot worse and at least her face was healing nicely.  
  
Her thoughts turned to James, the first time they had since Steve and Sam left the afternoon before. Her stomach twisted with worry and she took a few deep breaths. Worrying would fix nothing, and she had to admit there was a little fear mixed into that worry. He had attacked her yesterday. Then again, for all she knew he was in Canada by now. However, something told her he was still in the city. He came here for a reason, to find out who he was. The only problem was that the people that could tell him, he also wanted to kill.  
  
But he didn’t want to kill her. He had attacked her, but he hadn’t moved in for the kill. Maybe, if she could calm him down and explain everything this could all be cleared up.  
  
“Because that worked so well last time,” She chided herself as she worked the shampoo into her hair. “Not to mention you don’t even know where he is.”  
  
Still, she couldn’t stop thinking about him. The worry was making her jittery. She hated not being able to do anything. She was more of an act first, think later kind of girl. As evidence by the broken ankle she got when she was seven when she tried to pretend to be Mary Poppins one windy day. Yet, there was no action she could take. All of this was so far out of her range of experience. It was all just giving her a headache.  
  
Alex conditioned her hair, washed her face, and shaved her legs. The water was just starting to go cold when she turned it off and grabbed her towel. She blow dried her hair, did her make up. She was heavy on the eye makeup, a little lighter on the concealer, and took two Tylenol before pouring herself a bowl of Captain Crunch. She skimmed over the articles that she was supposed to read for class, but couldn’t really focus.  
  
“This is bullshit,” Alex said after she finished her breakfast. It was just hitting seven-thirty. She could make it to Brooklyn, look around, and still make it back in time for her class. She grabbed her bag, shoved the books in it, and almost ran down the steps. Her leg was pretty sore after the run, but with the Tylenol she didn’t have to limp.  
  
Brooklyn was livelier today than it was the last time she was there. She didn’t go to Brooklyn often and wasn’t familiar with the neighborhood, but she pretty easily retraced the route she and Bucky had taken the day before. Still, she would have missed the building they had stood in front of if it wasn’t for the hole in the brick. She ran her fingers over the damage, chalk clinging to her fingers.  
  
“Okay, so where is the yellow brick road?” Alex said to herself as she turned in a slow circle. Alex doubted that he would be in plain sight, but her instincts told her that he would come back here. Most of his memories came from his time in Brooklyn. It only made sense that when he came to his senses, he would come here. She walked to a nearby convenience store and bought a pack of gum along with a bottle of Mountain Dew.  
  
She wandered around Brooklyn as long as she could. She was smart enough to stay on the main streets and not checking out the alleys where he would probably be hiding. Finally, she had to admit defeat and walked back toward the subway. As she got to the stairs, she got the sudden feeling as if someone was watching her. Alex stopped and started digging in her bag and she slowly turned as if trying to get more sunlight to see what she was looking for. She didn’t see anyone openly looking at her, but the feeling was still there.  
  
Alex sighed and finally went down the stairs. She wanted to stay and look for him, but if it was him staring at her, he obviously didn’t want to be found. She didn’t want to think about someone else keeping an eye on her. Alex looked over the articles for class again, a little more closely this time, before having to run to make it to class on time.  
  
“Well look who it is,” Monica called down the hall as Alex left her second class of the day. Monica had a white headband to push her curls back from her face. It matched her white V-neck sweater, white heels, and paired with her black skinny jeans. Paired with the bronze eye shadow and red lipstick, she looked like she had just walked out of a magazine.  
  
“Hey, I didn’t know you had a class in this building,” Alex said with a smile.  
  
“Usually I don’t, I had to meet with one of my sisters to help her study for Bio I,” Monica explained as she looped her arm through Alex’s. “What class were you in?”  
  
“Calculus,” Alex rolled her eyes as she said the words.  
  
“That’s always fun,” Monica said as they made their way down the stairs.  
  
“I’m just not feeling it today.” Alex did not say that the reason was because a 98 year old man with no memories had her worried. That, and the fact that an agent from one mysterious agency was protecting her from agents from another mysterious agency.  
  
“You know what would make you feel better? Frozen Yogurt.” Monica said as she tightened her grip on Alex’s arm.  
  
“You aren’t going to take no for an answer are you?” Alex asked with a small laugh.  
  
“No chance in hell,” Monica admitted with an answering laugh.  
  
“Then yogurt it is,” Alex smiled. The yogurt place wasn’t that far from campus and the girls soon had cups piled high with toppings. Monica studied Alex as they dug into their treat.  
  
“So, is there anything you wanted to talk about?” Monica asked. Her tone was sweet and innocent, but it wasn’t hard to read the meaning underneath.  
  
“This is about the bruises, isn’t it?” Alex sighed.  
  
“Alex, it is about the fact that every time I see you, you have another injury. I know that we aren’t super close, but girl, I’m worried about you,” Monica explained.  
  
“It’s…complicated, but I promise you I am not in an abusive relationship.” Alex tried to convey how earnest she was. Here was the first chance she had in making a real friend in the city and she had to lie to her. Constantly. Because of Superheroes. God, her life was weird.  
  
“Are you in a fight club? Cause that is the only thing that makes sense with those injuries,” Monica said, but she settled back against her seat.  
  
“First rule about fight club…” Alex said with a smirk as she turned her attention back to her yogurt.  
  
“Right, sorry. Just…know that you can talk to me, alright?” Monica’s tone was still serious, but she seemed more relaxed.  
  
“Same. I’m much better at solving other people’s problems than my own.”  
  
“Aren’t we all?” Monica laughed. “Let me tell you about one the sisters in my sorority.” Monica launched into tales of sorority life, some that sounded as if they came straight from Hollywood, and others that were much more mundane.  
  
“How do you find time to do it all? I mean it sounds exhausting to be dealing with all of this on top of all the school work. I can barely keep up with a part time job and chemistry,” Alex asked leaning back in her chair.  
  
“Well, luckily, my mom’s a lawyer and my dad made some solid real estate investments in New York. Which means that I get to live rent free ‘cause he owns my building. It also means that I don’t have to work during the school year.”  
  
“That must be nice,” Alex said wistfully.  
  
“Yeah, I can’t complain. However, I’m on a pretty strict budget so don’t think that it’s all glamorous,” Monica said defensively.  
  
“Oh, I didn’t mean it like that,” Alex said quickly, feeling like an asshole. Monica probably had people telling her all the time how easy she had it.  
  
“I know, it’s kind of a reflex now. But anyway, that’s how I have the time to try and guide girls through living in New York City while also stuffing chemical engineering information into my head.”  
  
“The words chemical engineering make my head hurt, so you’re already ahead of me.” Alex said with a laugh.  
  
“Says the girl who’s doing Biochemistry,” Monica said with a laugh. “What about your family? I’ve talked to you about them.”  
  
“Not much to tell. Mom is a teacher and Dad’s a farmer,” Alex said with a shrug, “Very typical small town Midwest. Brother escaped to Miami and I came here.”  
  
“That is adorable, but I just can’t imagine you running around some corn field in pig tails. So was the bad girl vibe before or after you got to the city?”  
  
“Bad girl vibe?”  
  
“You have more metal in your ears than is in some cars. You own a leather jacket and combat boots, and I was pretty sure you didn’t know how to smile for the first month I knew you. Bad girl vibe,” Monica explained.  
  
“The metal in the ears happened before I got here, the outfits were what I found in the thrift store,” Alex said with a small laugh. “I promise I do own something floral. Hell, even pastels. Combat boots are just practical footwear.”  
  
“Alright, girl, I believe you. Besides, it’s almost winter. Not the time for pastels anyway.” Monica looked at her watch. “Though the whole bruises on your face aren’t helping make you look like a sweetheart from the Midwest.”  
  
“You aren’t going to let the bruises go, are you?” Alex sighed as she put her head in her hands.  
  
“I shouldn’t let that go! Someone punched you in the face and you’re limping today. Unless you are secretly the prodigy of the Black Widow, something seriously wrong is going on and someone should be worried.”  
  
Alex couldn’t help herself, she started laughing. Of all the superheroes she had run into the past couple days, the Black Widow was not one of them. Though Alex had to admit that it would be both amazing and terrifying to meet Natasha Romanova. She probably would have killed her in that alley instead of stopping to talk about it. She definitely would have killed Markus.  
  
“I don’t think this it’s all that funny,” Monica had the most disapproving pout Alex had ever seen.  
  
“I appreciate it, I mean it. It’s just, if you knew what was going on you’d see it as funny as I am.”  
  
“So, tell me about it,” Monica’s frustration was obvious. Alex opened her mouth, but nothing came out. What could she possibly tell her? That there was an amnesiac 98 year old soldier running loose in Brooklyn, his 99 year old superhero best friend looking for him, and an agent from a government organization watching her apartment because of another organization that might want to hurt her? Yeah, that would make her look crazy, and even if Monica did believe her, she would just worry more.  
  
“God, it’s so complicated. I want to tell you, I swear, but you’ll think I’m crazy.” Alex finally sighed.  
  
“I already think you’re nuts, nothing to lose.” Monica said with a weak smile, but there was a bit of fear in her eyes.  
  
“Fine, I’m working with Steve Rodgers and Sam Wilson on something,” Alex caved. Monica blinked once, twice, and then shook her head so forcefully that every one of her curls bounced.  
  
“Alright, fine, don’t tell me,” Monica laughed.  
  
“I swear I’m telling the truth. I got into a fight with an ex-boyfriend and a friend of theirs saved me. He has since gone missing and they want me to help them find him.” Alex explained, but she couldn’t help but smile. It did sound ridiculous.  
  
“I think a part of that is true, the rest is one hell of a story.”  
  
“Which part?”  
  
“The part where you are helping someone. You might look all badass, but you are a total softy.” Monica said with a smile before looking at her watch. “I hate to gossip and run, but I have a meeting with my advisor in half an hour.”  
  
“Yeah, I have to get home and get ready for work.” They gathered their stuff and threw away their trash. “But I loved hanging out with you. Thank you for inviting me.”  
  
“Same, we need to do this more often. Next time my sorority has a party, you are so invited,” Monica said sliding on her sunglasses. “Also, next time you see Sam Wilson, tell him I’d love to get to know him better.”  
  
“I’ll pass along the message,” Alex laughed.  
  
“You do that. See you in class,” Monica said as she headed out of the shop. Alex looked at her phone, no missed calls. She wondered if she had time for another trip to Brooklyn, but knew that she was fooling herself. They only way she would find James is if he wanted to be found.  
  
Instead, she headed for her apartment. Her leg was still bothering her, but not enough that she had to limp anymore. She opened her apartment door and hit Clint’s number.  
  
“What’s up?” Clint picked up on the second ring.  
  
“Someone sounds lonely. Surveillance not as fun as it sounded last night?” Alex dropped her stuff and went right for the aspirin bottle. She was running low, given the amount she took last couple days it was no surprise.  
  
“Daytime TV blows, I can’t watch another episode of Judge Judy or I’m going to scream. You were out most of the day.”  
  
“Yeah I met up with a friend after class,” Alex explained as she opened the fridge and looked for something to eat before her shift. “Do you have food over there or do you want me to bring you something after my shift?”  
  
“Need a wayward superhero to take care of now that the madman is on the loose? This is the second time you’ve offered me food,” Clint laughed. Alex heard him getting up and moving around the apartment.  
  
“He isn’t a madman,” Alex corrected as she closed the fridge and moved to her living room window. She looked out and saw a shadowy figure in the building across the street. “I just realized I have no idea what you look like.”  
  
“That is awful for you.” Clint said with a smile.  
  
“I can’t decide if I like you or hate you,” Alex said as she did a little finger wave. The shadow waved back.  
  
“It’s normal, don’t worry. And to answer your question, no I don’t need a food delivery. I have a box of cereal, milk, and a barrel of cheese balls. Set for the day.”  
  
“Are you 12?” Alex laughed.  
  
“Coming from the woman who is probably going to have a hot pocket for dinner.”  
  
“You never know, I might get adventurous and make myself pasta,” Alex said as she moved away from the window and back into the kitchen.  
  
“Well, if you need anything, you know where to find me,” Clint said before hanging up.  
  
“I need a reality check,” Alex said as she went into the freezer and grabbed the box of hot pockets. She thought that Clint would get a kick out of being right. She popped it into the microwave before trying to find clean work clothes. Usually Alex did laundry on Sundays, but that hadn’t been an option with everything that was going on.  
  
It hadn’t been an option because James had been there. She knew that it was stupid to worry about him, that didn’t stop her. Part of her wanted Steve and Sam to find him before the oh-so-mysterious bad agents did. Another part wanted James to run and never see him again. And the third part, well, she was trying not to dwell on that part. The third part made her think that she might need to commit herself to a mental institution.  
  
Her hot pocket dinged just as there was a knock at the door. Alex hit the open door button to stop it from buzzing and looked through the peep hole. There was a small blonde woman Alex had never seen before standing at the door.  
  
“Not interested in buying any,” Alex called turning away from the door.  
  
“Not selling, I need your help,” a voice called back. Alex sighed and opened the door without sliding the security chain back.  
  
“Yes?” Alex asked, trying to figure out what floor this woman lived on. The building wasn’t overly friendly, but there were only five floors. You ended up seeing almost everyone coming or going. There was a sweet elderly Chinese lady on the first floor who always put red envelopes on everyone’s door at Chinese New Year. Alex always kept them in her dresser drawer.  
  
“Sorry, hate to bother you, but…have you seen my cat?” The woman asked with a smile. She couldn’t have been an inch over five foot two with a pixie cut and beautiful brown eyes.  
  
“No, I haven’t,” Alex said still trying to figure out why she had never seen the woman before. No one had moved into the building recently. That she would have noticed.  
  
“Are you sure, she is a little orange tabby,” the woman persisted as Alex went to turn away again. “Maybe your roommate has seen her?”  
  
“I don’t have a roommate and I haven’t seen your cat, I am sorry.” Alex said as her cell phone started to ring.  
  
“Well, if you see her, please call this number,” the woman pushed the card through the crack in the door.  
  
“Will do,” Alex took the card as she looked down at the readout on her phone. It was Steve’s number. “Sorry I have to take this.”  
  
“Right, have a nice day,” The woman said. Alex smiled as she hit the receive call button.  
  
“Yeah?” She kicked the door closed and walked over to grab her hot pocket.  
  
“Am in interrupting something?” Steve asked a bit baffled by the abrupt greeting.  
  
“Not, really. Do you need something?” Alex sighed as she poked her hot pocket to make sure it was warm enough.  
  
“Have you had any contact with Bucky?” Steve asked.  
  
“Steve, you have someone watching my apartment and I wouldn’t be surprised if you have someone following me around. You would know if I had seen James. Plus, I said I would call if I had seen him. Don’t you trust me?” Alex asked before taking a bite. It was steaming hot and she had to hold the phone away from her mouth as she swore under her breath.  
  
“Honestly, not really no.” Alex could hear the smile in Steve’s voice.  
  
“Brawn and brains, you really are the whole package, Rodgers” Alex said as she rolled her eyes. She felt a lot braver talking to him over the phone, then when all six feet of muscle was in front of her.  
  
“I’m taking that as a no,” Steve sighed.  
  
“No, I haven’t seen him,” Alex confirmed.  
  
“Who were you talking to when you answered?” Steve asked.  
  
“Neighbor who lost her cat…” Alex trailed off. They weren’t allowed to have pets in the building. Not only that, but the woman didn’t give her an apartment number to bring the cat, just a number. Plus, it was really bothering her that she had never seen that woman before.  
  
“Alexandra?” Steve asked.  
  
“It’s Alex, and nothing. I have to get ready for work. If I see James you’ll be the first to know.” Alex said before hanging up the call. She pressed her phone against her mouth, getting hot pocket grease all over it, and tried to get her thoughts in order.  
  
There was a perfectly logical explanation, the mystery woman just moved in with a boyfriend or started being someone’s roommate recently and brought the cat even though they aren’t allowed in the building. It was just all of this superhero nonsense making her paranoid.  
  
Still, maybe she should call Clint and tell him about it. After all, that’s why he was over there, wasn’t it? He might even enjoy watching the woman’s movements, she wasn’t bad looking. Alex pulled up his number, but hesitated to hit the call button. Did she want to be the little girl who cried wolf?  
  
She locked her phone and threw it onto the table. The mysterious woman was probably just someone’s girlfriend. Alex shook her head and went back to finishing her hot pocket.  
  
If push came to shove, she was pretty sure she could take a five-foot tall cat lady.  
  
Alex flipped open her American History textbook and tried to figure out what the hell she was going to write about World War II for her paper. The Nazi were bad, a lot of people died, and in the end we all became one big happy messed up family minutes away from blowing the planet to bits. Her professor specifically said that he didn’t want just another research paper. Which she didn’t mind since she had been writing papers on WWII since the fifth grade. However it was due Thursday and she hadn’t even started it yet.  
Maybe she could interview Steve and use that. The prompt for the paper was pretty vague, as most paper prompts were. She could do her paper on the Howling Commandos, from an insider point of view. She could roll with that, if she ever got the time to write it. And Steve agreed to do it, of course.  
  
Alex flipped through her binder to find the exact paper prompt. That’s when she saw that she had a Bio exam next Wednesday. A Bio exam that she hadn’t even remembered existed, let alone studied for. Alex put her head on the table and sighed. Her life was in shambles.  
  
After about fifteen minutes of self-pity, she dragged herself to her room to change. She grabbed her charger cord and plugged in her phone. As she leaned over, something crinkled under her pillow. She picked it up and found the envelope that had been left on her pillow the day before. She thought about shoving it back under the pillow and forgetting about it, but knew that it was going to eat at her all night at work if she didn’t look inside.  
  
She flipped open the envelope and saw a huge stack of bills as well as a page of notebook paper. Alex put off reading the letter to count how much he had left her. It ended up being just under two thousand dollars. It was the largest amount of money she had ever held. He said that he had almost three thousand on him. He had left her most of it.  
  
“Where did you go on a thousand dollars?” Alex asked herself as she put the money back in the envelope. She took a deep breath before turning her attention to the piece of paper. It was written in tight, slightly slanted cursive.  
  
_Alexandra,  
I know that you are not exactly happy that I am leaving. To be honest, I am not exactly happy about it myself. These couple of days, it’s the best I’ve felt in a long time. I’d say since I can remember, but you know that my memory isn’t that great so it would be an empty compliment. Everything has been so confusing for so long, it was nice to have someone so stable. That isn’t saying you didn’t make things more confusing, but you kept me grounded. I didn’t realize how much I needed that until I had it.  
  
I know that you don’t understand everything and I wish I could tell you the truth, but it’s safer for you not to know. I know you are making a face at that statement, the one where you roll your eyes and wrinkle your nose slightly, but it’s the truth. Part of me is happy that you don’t know my past, what I’ve done. Yet, I still feel as if there was anyone who would accept what I’ve done, or at least listen to me, it would be you.  
  
You are probably the one the craziest people that I’ve ever met and that’s saying something. But you also have a rare courage and compassion that makes it hard not to respect you. It also makes me worry about you. If you’ll take me in, what other crazy things are you going to do? I guess I don’t have the right to ask any more from you, but please be careful. Your brass knuckles, switch blade, and quick thinking can only save you from so much.  
  
I doubt I will ever see you again, but know that I will always remember the girl in the alley who stopped me from killing a man. Thank you for everything that you have done for me.  
  
Tinman  
  
_Alex sat there for a few moments just looking at the paper. She then carefully folded up the piece of paper and slipped it into the envelope. She thought she would feel something, but surprisingly, she felt numb. Apparently, she had reached her limits for emotion for the day. She couldn’t even muster up a tear.  
  
There was nothing she could do about James, he was gone. If he wanted to come back, he would. If he wanted to disappear into the night never to be seen again, he would. There was no use worrying about him. That didn’t mean she wouldn’t, but it wasn’t going to be at the forefront of her mind.  
  
Her Bio exam was. Alex tried to remember what they had gone over in class as she got herself ready for work. The phone started to ring as Alex opened her front door to leave. She had to remember to put the damn thing on silent or change the ring tone. She was going to hear it in her sleep.  
  
“Yes?” Alex asked as she looked for her keys.  
  
“Curtains,” was all the voice on the other end asked.  
  
“Excuse me?” Alex asked. She pulled the phone away from her ear to look at the readout.  
  
“You’re supposed to pull your curtains open before you leave, remember?” Clint sighed.  
  
“Right, sorry,” Alex huffed as she headed back into the living room. “I would hate for some crazed killer to come into my apartment when I was away. What would I do without you? It isn’t as if I have lived for twenty-two years without someone following my every movement.”  
  
“Someone is grumpy,” Clint said as Alex ripped the curtains open before stomping back toward the front door. “Something happen in the past couple hours?”  
  
“Nothing that you need to worry about,” Alex said as she locked up her apartment. “You might get to watch me all day, but that doesn’t mean you get to know what I’m thinking. Have a nice night.” Alex clicked off her phone.  
  
Okay, maybe she wasn’t as numb as she thought she was. By the time she got to the restaurant she felt guilty about being so short with Clint. It wasn’t his fault that she had forgotten about an exam. Or that she took in an amnesiac killer from World War II. She didn’t know how great he was at his job, but he had to have some sort of skill set to be friends with Steve and he was there to protect her.  
  
_'Sorry about being a bitch. Stressed. I’ll bring something from the restaurant to make it up to you.' _Alex typed out as she made her way to the break room. The response was almost instantaneous.  
  
_'If you knew some of the people I worked with, you wouldn’t even be apologizing. However, I won’t turn down food. Besides, you should know what the guy spying in your windows look like.' _  
  
_'Fair enough, you craving anything.' Alex tied on her apron and put her hair up into a bun. She winced when it caught on one of her earrings. She turned her phone on silent and it buzzed to signal a text message.  
  
_'Something that I can’t get out of a bag, was the only answer.'  
  
_'Rodger that'  
  
The shift was easy, which Alex needed. She made a huge tip off some businessmen who had a rough day at the office. They were at a standoff with another group for a contract. Their bosses told them that without this contract they wouldn’t need to come in to the office again. Alex offered for them to bring the other group in for a friendly meeting and she would poison their coffee. This made them smile a bit and as the night progressed they seemed to come up with some pretty good strategies to get the needed contract. Between the three of them, they left a fifty dollar tip.  
  
The last hour of her shift Alex was dragging. Sleeping on the couch the night before hadn’t exactly been the best night’s sleep she’d ever had. She was looking forward to getting into bed and being comatose for a solid eight hours. No worrying about anything, just sweet, sweet sleep.  
  
“Andrew,” Alex called when she came into the kitchen, “can you make me up a cup of chili and burger to go?”  
  
“Dinner with a friend again?” Andrew asked as he put a burger on the grill. “Or are you eating it all yourself?”  
  
“I owe someone a dinner. Thank you,” Alex said. She went to grab a slice of chocolate cake and to pay for everything. It wasn’t Clint’s fault that he had to sit watching her apartment. Plus, it made sense to make the man who was making sure you didn’t get killed happy. If there even was a threat, which no one seemed to know if there was or not.  
  
Closing went without a hitch and Alex got away before Mrs. Malone could get her in the car to take her home. The night was cold enough that Alex could see her breath. She pulled her army coat closer around her and made a mental note to pull her winter coat out of storage. Her boots, scarves, and gloves also wouldn’t be a bad idea.  
  
Alex pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed Clint’s number when she got to the building he was staying in  
  
“Special delivery,” Alex said into the cell phone as she took a few steps back to look up. She saw a figure appear in the window and then disappear again. She counted to twenty before the door was opened.  
  
“Oh, hello,” Alex said. He wasn’t what she expected. She didn’t know what she expected, but it wasn’t the man a few inches taller than her that was standing in front of her. He had sandy blonde hair, blue eyes, and arms that were no joke.  
  
“Nice to meet you in person, finally,” Clint said with a smile.  
  
“Likewise, though I kind of wish it wasn’t necessary.” Alex said as she held out her bag full of food. “Brought you food in a bag, but I promise it isn’t cheese balls.”  
  
“You are my new favorite person,” Clint said taking the bag. “Though honestly it’s nice talking to another person. Stake outs are pretty boring on your own.”  
  
“Sorry, I mean I told them not to make you do it, but…” Alex shrugged.  
  
“Not your fault,” Clint shrugged as well.  
  
“I’ve been wondering, how did you get an apartment right across from mine so easily?” Alex asked as she rubbed her hands to warm them up.  
  
“Stark knows the guy who owns the building. Apparently the tenants are snow birds and left for the winter.”  
  
“So you’re squatting?”  
  
“House-sitting,” Clint corrected, “which I should get back to before Steve has my head. He seems really worried about you.”  
  
“Everybody seems to be these days.” Alex sighed.  
  
“Thanks again for the food.”  
  
“The least I could do. Try not to go too crazy up there,” Alex said as she took a few steps back. “Nice to finally meet you.”  
  
“Likewise. Remember to flash the lights when you get in,” Clint said before he pulled the front door of the building closed behind him. Alex let herself into her building and trudged up the five stories to her apartment. The one nice thing about not having an elevator was she was never cold by the time she made it up to her apartment.  
  
Alex flashed the lights twice to let Clint know that it was her in the apartment before making a beeline for the bedroom. She was not going to have a repeat of the night before. The bed looked so inviting that Alex felt like crying. She dropped her purse and turned to go to her dresser when the hairs on her neck rose.  
  
There was no way that someone could be in the room, Clint was watching the apartment. Alex took a deep breath and grabbed clothes to change into. She was just keyed up from the days before that she was imagining threats that weren’t there. All she needed was a good night’s rest and tomorrow everything would be back to normal. Well, semi-normal.  
  
Alex turned and her heart stopped.  
  
There was a man standing in the doorway._________


	9. Chapter 9

Alex was so shocked that at first she just stared at the shadowy figure. Then her brain kicked in and she jumped into action. She ran toward the window in an attempt to signal Clint.  
  
She got to the foot of the bed.  
  
Strong arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her back toward the dresser. A scream built in her chest, but before she could vocalize it, the assailant hit her side and knocked all the air out of her lungs. Alex twisted and got her elbow into the man’s chest. It felt like smashing her limb into a brick wall. However, he loosened his grip enough for her to squirm out from between his arms.  
  
Alex ran for the wall to flash the overhead light. Something to get Clint’s attention. She smacked the light switch, but the overhead light didn’t turn on. Either the light had burnt out at the most inconvenient time, or someone had taken out the light bulb. An arm wrapped around her again, and a hand covered her mouth.  
  
Alex thrashed against her captor, but she could tell that it was futile. That didn’t stop her from trying. Her foot connected with his shin and her elbow with his chest a few more times, but he held her so that her feet couldn’t get purchase on anything to give her leverage.  
  
After about five minutes Alex stopped fighting. She was too tired, but she also realized that he hadn’t tried to hurt her at all. He just wanted to keep her still and quiet. When she stopped moving, the arm loosened the grip so she could breathe a bit better.  
  
“I’m going to let you go. Don’t scream,” a voice said softly in her ear. A voice she knew. As promised she was set down lightly on the floor and Alex spun around. She was pretty sure that her bun smacked her attacker in the face.  
  
It was James, perfectly alright; eyes a clear, deep blue. His metal arm flashed in the light coming in through the window. Alex didn’t know if she wanted to kiss him or kill him. She knew she couldn’t do either, so it really didn’t matter that she couldn’t make up her mind.  
  
Alex opened her mouth, but James held up his hand to silence her. She tilted her head to the side, but James just motioned her to follow him. He did not get to disappear, reappear, and then boss her around. She opened her mouth again, but James moved forward and put his hand softly on her lips. The hair on the back of her neck rose again.  
  
They walked into the hallway together. James held up his hand to have her wait and he moved back into the room. Alex shifted her weight from one foot to the other, trying to figure out what was going on. She was getting her breath back and her temper was rising.  
  
James reappeared with a handful of clothes. The clothes she had in her hands when she saw him in the doorway. He motioned for her to go into the bathroom. Alex opened her mouth to protest, but James just gave her a light shove into the bathroom. She went in and he followed, closing the door behind him. It wasn’t a large bathroom, and with both of them in there it seemed even smaller.  
  
Alex reached around him and flipped on the overhead light. This one turned on. She went to move back, but her back rammed into the sink. She never realized how small the bathroom was before. James reached past her, pressing against her, and turned on the cold water of the shower. She could feel his body heat through his shirt.  
  
“Alright, you can talk softly now,” James finally said.  
  
Alex brought her hand around and smacked him hard across the face. Her hand stung, but emotionally it felt great. Apparently she had figured out which one she wanted to do. She would have said it was the stupidest thing she had ever done, but this week was proving her stupidity knew no bounds.  
  
“How dare you break into my apartment and scare the shit out of me!” Alex hissed. “What the hell is going on?” Even though she was pissed she took his warning to keep her voice down.  
  
“That was a pretty good hit,” James said rubbing his cheek.  
  
“You want another one?”  
  
“You’re upset.”  
  
“Very fucking perceptive,” Alex growled. She jumped up so that she was sitting on the sink, to give herself more room, and took a deep breath. Her heart rate had dropped to a normal level and she felt herself shaking. How many times in one week was she going to be accosted by mysterious men?  
  
“Have you calmed down?” James asked after a few more moments of silence. “I deserved the smack and the silence. I’m also sorry for scaring you, but I didn’t know another way to talk to you without them knowing.”  
  
“Them who?” Alex asked. “And why is my shower running?”  
  
James rummaged in his pockets and pulled out something small and black. Alex held out her hand and James dropped it into her palm. Alex rolled it around, it was something electronic, but she had no idea what it was.  
  
“What is this?” Alex asked, handing it back to him.  
  
“It’s a surveillance device, so that people can listen remotely.”  
  
“A bug, where did you get it?” Alex asked, staring at the device with more interest. She had seen them on TV, but never up close. Then a thought hit her.  
  
“Is it recording?” Alex mouthed. James smiled a little, shook his head as he took it back.  
  
“I disabled this one, which I got from the doorjamb leading into the apartment, but there are probably others throughout the apartment. Hence, the shower.” James dropped the little bug back into his pants pocket. Alex remembered Sam moving into the living room when he and Steve came to her apartment. Steve has also done a walk through before he left “to make sure the apartment was safe”.  
  
“Those bastards,” Alex shook her head.  
  
“They are just trying to keep you safe.”  
  
“And catch you,” Alex added, “Or keep me safe from you. I haven’t exactly decided.”  
  
“Probably all of the above. You have a knack for getting yourself into trouble.” James smirked slightly.  
  
Alex’s palm inched to hit him again, but he also had a point.  
  
“How did you even get in here? Clint was supposed to be watching the place,” Alex asked.  
  
“Just a tip, when someone is supposed to be watching your apartment, don’t pull them away from their assignment to drop off food,” James explained. “He can’t see the other side of the building so I scaled up the wall and stayed in the apartment across the hall. I heard you on the phone when you were leaving, knew when you’d be back from work, and took the light out of the hallway in case they were videotaping as well. I didn’t want them to see me open the door. I slipped in when he came down to get the food you brought him.”  
  
“You also took out the bedroom light bulb too, I’m guessing,” Alex said shaking her head. She hadn’t even noticed that the hallway light was out. She didn’t know what to say or what to do, it was all just so bizarre. Straight out of a Bond movie. Did that make her the Bond girl?  
  
Alex shook her head and let the thought go. She decided to ask the one question that had been hammering in her head since she realized who was holding her.  
  
“Why are you back? I thought you had run off into the sunset.” She didn’t add after he had beaten the shit out of Sam and Steve. She figured there was no reason to bring up the alleyway skirmish yet. The last thing she needed was him getting upset in this small bathroom.  
  
“Hydra agents are in the city,” James said simply.  
  
“Looking for me or you?” Alex asked.  
  
“Me, and you by association, but that is only part of it, they are here for something else. I haven’t found out what yet, but it can’t be good,” James explained as he leaned back against the door. “Either way, I can’t leave until I find out what they are doing and what the collateral damage is going to be.”  
  
“Isn’t that Steve’s job? Or really anyone but you?” Alex asked. She realized it sounded like she didn’t want him to be there, but she was so confused. Alex knew she hadn’t seen the last of James, at least she had hoped she hadn’t, but she didn’t think he would show back up in her apartment only a day after he left. He could have hunted Hydra agents without her. Actually that would have made more sense, since he was so set on keeping her safe, which meant keeping her away from him.  
  
“Probably, but it isn’t like I’m neglecting another job currently and as long as I’m here I can keep an eye on you,” James said, watching her.  
  
So that was it, he wanted to keep an eye on her. She didn’t know if she found it sweet or annoying. Probably a bit of both, but her hormones didn’t give a shit. They were very excited.  
  
“I currently have so many eyes on me that I can’t sneeze without four people offering me a tissue and three more catching my cold,” Alex sighed, closing her eyes. “Not to mention that I have a few assignments due that I haven’t even started and about a weeks’ worth of reading I need to get done.”  
  
James didn’t say anything, but Alex felt his eyes on her. She figured he thought she was ridiculous, worrying about school when people could be hunting her, but he didn’t have a full ride scholarship to maintain. Alex counted heartbeats and listened to the water pounding against the ceramic tub. Clint was going to think she was taking one very long shower if she didn’t actually jump in there soon.  
  
“You still awake?” James asked finally and Alex opened her eyes.  
  
“Yeah, and you need to make yourself scare before Clint comes over here and asks what the hell is going on,” Alex said leaning forward. “Where are you going to stay?”  
  
“The apartment across the hall, if possible, but I have other places to hide out in the city if need be. All the reconstruction has left a lot of vacant buildings. I’ll never be far if you need me. I’m going to find and disable as many bugs as I can before I leave, but that is going to be hard with the agent watching your place,” James explained with a sigh.  
  
“Why disable them?” Alex wondered.  
  
“Because I figured you want your privacy and I would like to only have to dodge a few surveillance measures when I come to see you.” James explained.  
“So, you’ll be back?”  
  
“I’ll be around.”  
  
“And how am I supposed to get a hold of you? Flash the bat signal? Click my heels and say there’s no place like home three times?” Alex asked.  
“If there is a problem, chances are I’ll know about it before you do,” James said.  
  
Alex rolled her eyes, even though he was probably right.  
  
“There is something I want you to try to do for me,” James said, ignoring her eye roll.  
  
“Stay locked in my apartment and not get into any more trouble?” Alex guessed.  
  
“If I thought you would do that, yes,” James said with a smirk. “But I know it would be a waste of my breath. No, I want you to try and see if you can get any information from the others about what Hydra is up to. I can only get so much information with my methods. They have more resources,” James explained.  
  
“So you want me to try and get information out of Captain America and his merry men? How could that possibly go wrong?” Alex said with a nervous laugh. So that’s why he was back, he needed her to do something. At least he wasn’t asking her to lock herself in her apartment.  
  
“He’s the definition of a gentleman, so just use your womanly ways and he won’t know what hit him,” James said, his eyes dancing.  
  
“My womanly ways, right.” Alex shook her head. The last thing she wanted to do was try and seduce Captain America.  
  
She didn’t feel like arguing anymore and hopped off the counter to signal the conversation was over. However, due to the tiny dimensions of the bathroom, Alex ended up rubbing against James’s entire body. Alex would have laughed about her cat in heat impersonation, if it wasn’t for the hitch in his breath that it elicited.  
  
Maybe the cats were onto something.  
  
“Sorry, I forgot how small the bathroom is,” Alex said meekly. However, due to the small dimensions of the bathroom, they were still practically pressed together. Every time one of them breathed their shirt brushed against the other.  
  
“It’s fine,” James said, but his eyes were dark and his breathing was short. “This isn’t the ideal location for a conversation.”  
  
“Yeah the largest area in here is the shower,” Alex said with a small smile. However, as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she started picturing them in the shower together. She had seen him in a towel, it didn’t take much to imagine what he would be like without it. Those muscles glistening with water and his hands skimming over her sides, up to her breasts or down to…  
  
“See, womanly ways,” He said with his eyes darkened at the comment. Apparently it wasn’t that hard for James to picture them in the shower together. He was pressed against the door before, but at some point he had straightened up. Alex never realized how much he loomed over her, though he wasn’t that much taller than she was, until that moment.  
  
“You should get into the shower before they think you drowned,” James said, but his voice was husky. Alex felt like she was drowning because she could barely breathe. She also felt as if she was humming, that if he so much as brushed his fingers against her hand she would burst into flames.  
  
They stood there, eyes locked, as the water thundered against the tub, both lost in their own thoughts. Alex wanted to lean forward, to press herself against him again, but she knew it would be stupid. Still, the feelings of his arms around her would be a good enough reward to take the risk, not to mention the feel of his lips on hers, or her neck, or anywhere else for that matter.  
  
James reached out and slipped his hand behind her neck, his fingers curling into her hair. He then bent over and kissed her on the forehead. Alex’s fingers curled into his shirt, in an attempt to stop her from ripping it off.  
  
That simple and chaste kiss set Alex’s body on fire.  
  
He kept his lips against her forehead for what could have been a lifetime or just a few seconds. Alex leaned against his chest, breathing in his scent. He smelled like soap, rain, and something spicier. She closed her eyes.  
  
“Sweet dreams,” James said against her skin before he let go of her and disappeared out the door.  
  
Alex didn’t know if it was because the shower had been running cold water or because she lost James’s warmth, but she was suddenly cold. She knew that it could be easily fixed by turning on the hot water and finally jumping into the shower. Instead she rested her head against the now closed door and sighed.  
  
“God, I hate that man,” she said to no one in particular, but not knowing who might be listening.  
  
Alex finally got herself into the shower, but it was a quick wash. However, to whoever was listening she had been in there for almost forty-five minutes. She finished her nightly routine before grabbing some of her reading material and carting it into her bedroom. Luckily, she had a bedside lamp that she could turn on since she had no idea where James had put the light bulb for the overhead light.  
  
After about an hour and one article later, Alex was ready to call it a night. However, she was still buzzing with restless energy. James’s words were bouncing around in her mind, attempting to find somewhere to take hold. She tried to simplify everything. Hydra agents, whatever those were, were in the city looking for something. While they were here, they were also seeing if they could track James down or anyone who was associated with him.  
  
All of that was, relatively, straight forward. It was everything else that didn’t make any sense. Both James and Steve had used the word programmed to describe the way James thought, did that mean that his metal arm wasn’t the only electronic addition that they made? Or were they using the word the same way Neurocognitive Psychologists would use it, just referring to the brain as a computer? Were these Hydra agents the ones who controlled all the circuitry, so to speak? Did that mean they could turn him into what she had seen in the alley?  
  
“Does it really fucking matter?” Alex asked herself as she flopped down on her bed. She wondered if Clint, or whoever, could hear her. Steve had just poked his head into her bedroom when he was here so she doubted that there were any bugs in there. Unless they came back later to plant them.  
  
This whole thing was making her paranoid.  
  
Either way, there were two things she knew for certain. The first was she was going to have to clean her room to look for any bugs. Hell, the whole apartment. James was right, she wanted her privacy. The other was that she was not going to be able to think about her encounter with James in the bathroom and what would have happened if they would have gone into the shower, because she had no way to relieve the tension it would cause.  
  
“Fucking superheroes,” Alex grumbled as she cleared off her bed and got under the covers. However, the restless energy wasn’t letting her settle down to sleep. As she tossed and turned she tried to figure out a way to pick Steve’s brain about Hydra. That led her to think of all the other assignments that she had to do.  
  
Luckily, this led to an idea instead of blind panic. Alex rolled over and grabbed her cell phone, hitting the contact before she had time to change her mind. It rang three times before someone picked up.  
  
“Alexandra?”  
  
“Hey Steve,” Alex said rolling onto her back.  
  
“Is something wrong?” Steve asked through a yawn. Alex looked at her phone to see that it was one in the morning.  
  
“Sorry, I didn’t realize the time. Everything is fine. I just…” Alex paused as she twisted the earrings on the ear the phone wasn’t pressed to. “I have a favor to ask.”  
  
“Should I be worried?” Steve asked, sounding as if he was only half joking.  
  
“Depends, how do you feel about being interviewed for a school assignment? It’s due on Thursday and I haven’t done anything for it yet.”  
  
“Are you serious?” Steve after a few heartbeats.  
  
“Does it sound like I’m joking?” Alex countered.  
  
“What would this entail exactly?”  
  
“Just me asking you questions and you answering them on camera. I would just do a normal interview, but no one is going to believe I actually talked to you unless it’s on film. It will take like fifteen minutes, tops.” Alex rambled. She hadn’t even thought up the questions yet, but she didn’t think she could stand editing more than fifteen minutes worth of footage. Computers weren’t exactly Alex’s thing unless she was making spreadsheets or writing papers. Anything past that and she was totally out of her element.  
  
“I guess I could do that,” Steve sounded less than sure.  
  
“Only my professor is going to see it,” Alex added, hoping that it was going to be true. She could type something up saying that Steve only agreed to the interview if the footage wasn’t shown publicly. That would save her from having to answer a million questions from her classmates, like how she knew Captain America.  
  
“When do you want to do this?” Steve did not sound happy about it.  
  
“Tomorrow afternoon? It is due Thursday.” Alex said. “I have class until three, but I am free after that. I don’t work on Wednesdays. I’ll even buy you dinner if that sweetens the deal.”  
  
Steve didn’t say anything right away and Alex was sure that he was debating with himself. He had never really made a public announcement about being back. Obviously, government officials made statements, but he never sat down with Oprah or Diane Sawyer to tell all. After the initial buzz, the return of Captain America was pushed to the side as the Kardashians and other celebrities took center stage again.  
  
Of course, the alien invasion that had happened days after his return made it less dramatic than it should have been. In the aftermath of the Battle of New York, more finger pointing and blaming fell on the government and the Avengers than interest in the group’s members. Steve kind of just faded into the background and let S.H.I.E.L.D handle everything.  
  
Then everything happened in Washington, S.H.I.E.L.D’s dirty laundry aired for the world to see and then it collapsed. Again, there was so much going on that no one really cared about Steve. In the two years between New York and Washington, Steve had stayed out of the public eye for the most part. Alex realized that she really didn’t know much about him other than what came out of history books.  
  
“Alright, I’ll do it,” Steve sighed.  
  
Alex smiled up at her ceiling.  
  
“Thanks Steve, I’ll let you get some sleep.”  
  
“Goodnight Alexandra,” Steve said.  
  
“If you don’t start calling me Alex or A.J. I am going to start referring to you as Mr. Rogers,” Alex said with a huff. She heard Steve chuckle on the other end of the line.  
  
“Night A.J.” Steve said before ending the call.  
  
Alex plugged her phone back in and turned off the bedside lamp. She planned on going running the morning and knew she should go to sleep, but her mind was still racing. Before all this started Alex never had a problem going to sleep. What was worse, she knew what would get her to go right to sleep, but couldn’t do it because she was paranoid someone might be listening - and she hadn’t bought batteries.  
  
Alex finally fell into a restless sleep as she made up a plan for cleaning the entire apartment after Steve left the next day. She also made a mental note to buy batteries.  
Alex felt much better after her run the next morning, having pushed herself and came in with the best time she had done all week. The lack of new injuries probably had something to do with that as well, but she still felt good about herself. Her phone was ringing when she entered the apartment and she wondered who it could be. The read out said Clint.  
  
“I left the curtains open this morning,” Alex said in way of greeting the agent as she grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge.  
  
“Good morning to you too,” Clint said with mock hurt.  
  
“Good morning Agent Barton,” Alex said as she rolled her eyes. “What can I do for you on this fine morning?”  
  
“God, you are a smart ass,” Clint said good-naturedly. “I knew there was a reason I liked you.”  
  
“Seriously though,” Alex said smiling. “Did you need something?”  
  
“Just a morning check in. Also, nice time this morning, though I have no idea how long your route is.”  
  
“About three miles, does that change your praise?” Alex asked as she toed off her shoes and moved into the bedroom to get her clothes for the day.  
  
“Eh,” Clint said. “What’s your schedule for the day?”  
  
“Class from ten to three and then I am hanging out with Steve afterward. You?” Alex asked as she pulled out a black denim skirt, skull pattern leggings, and a white thermal.  
  
“Drinking coffee, doing a crossword, throwing darts, the usual. You’re hanging with Cap? I didn’t realize you had become such fast friends.”  
  
“I have an assignment due for my American History class that he’s helping me with,” Alex explained as she tugged her hair out of its ponytail and shook it out. “So, not so much hanging out, as guilt tripping him into helping me.”  
  
“Ah, that makes a lot more sense. Hey, if you ever want someone to play poker with, let me know. I can watch the apartment a lot better if I’m in it,” Clint said.  
  
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Alex said. “But I am going to grab a fast shower, so if you don’t need anything else…?”  
  
“You shower more than anyone I know,” Clint said and she could picture him shaking his head.  
  
“Between working in a restaurant and running the morning I don’t exactly smell pleasant if I don’t shower as much as I do. Plus, I don’t want to go to bed smelly,” Alex said in a way of defending herself.  
  
“Whatever, you better hope you never get your own place. Your water bill is going to be through the roof,” Clint said.  
  
“Coming from a man squatting in an apartment and not paying any bills, I am going to take that with a grain of salt. Goodbye Barton,” Alex said before hanging up.  
  
She took a quick shower, taking stock of the color of her multiple bruises. Most of them had turned a terrifying yellowish color, with purple and blue mixed in. Not a pretty picture. However, she was pleased to see that her face was almost completely back to normal when she checked it out in the mirror.  
  
As Alex ate her breakfast, she read over the other two articles she needed for her first class of the day. She then started making notecards for her Bio exam. While it was tedious and monotonous, compared to the past couple days it was welcome.  
  
When she locked her door to head to class she thought about knocking on the door across the hall. James could be in there or he could be literally anywhere in the city. It wouldn’t be smart to draw attention to the apartment, especially since it was supposed to be empty, but the curiosity gnawed at her.  
  
“You lose something?” Alex spun to see the cat lady from the other day smiling at her.  
  
“Oh no, I just…” Alex let the sentence trail off because she had been standing there staring at the door of an abandoned apartment. “Lost my train of thought for a minute. I was sure there was something I wanted to do before I left, but couldn’t think of it.”  
  
“Happens to me all the time,” the woman said with a smile.  
  
“Did you ever find your cat?” Alex asked to get the conversation away from her.  
  
The woman looked at her for a beat before she smiled and nodded.  
  
“Ginger, yes. She had made her way into the basement somehow. Crazy thing. The maintenance man helped me find her.”  
  
“You should be more careful, we aren’t supposed to have pets in the building. Whoever you moved in with should have told you,” Alex said as she started to slowly move toward the stairs. She had a class to get to and wasn’t a fan of idle chatter.  
  
“Yeah, my boyfriend told me that after I moved in. Typically.” She rolled her eyes. “You won’t tell anyone, will you?”  
  
“Your secret’s safe with me, but I have to run. I have class soon,” Alex said as she turned and started down the hallway.  
  
“Hey, I don’t even know your name,” the woman called after her.  
  
“A.J.” Alex called before she jogged down the stairs. Damn, that woman was persistent and for as worried as she was before about the cat, she took a second to remember she had one. Again, Alex wondered if there was something more to her that she should be worried about. Or if she should tell Clint about the cat lady. Then again, Alex had been standing in front of an abandoned apartment so she had no room to judge. Everyone has secrets.  
  
Classes went without hitch or pop quiz and Alex stopped for beers on the way home. She figured she would just order pizza, or some sort of delivery for dinner. Who didn’t like a beer with their pizza? When she got to her building her cell phone started playing God Bless America.  
  
“Hello?” Alex answered as she opened the door and started up the stairs.  
  
“Hey, I just wanted to make sure that you were home before I headed over. I kind of get looks when I loiter outside of buildings,” Steve said.  
  
“I just got in, just buzz when you get here. I am apartment five-oh-four,” Alex said as she opened her door.  
  
“Alright, I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes,” Steve said before he hung up.  
  
Alex kicked the door closed, put the beers in the fridge, and then took her combat boots off. Then she set up her video camera, a gift from her parents to record her “big adventure” in the city. Since her “adventures” were rarely legal or anything her parents would want to see, the camera hadn’t gotten much use.  
  
The buzz came and Alex ran down the stairs without shoes on to let Steve in.  
  
“Hey, come on in,” Alex said as she opened the door.  
  
“The skulls and crossbones are a nice touch,” Steve said as he closed the door and followed her up to her apartment.  
  
“What can I say, I want my clothes to match my sunny disposition,” Alex joked as they made their way to the fifth floor. She let them into the apartment and grabbed carryout menus off of the fridge.  
  
“We can do pizza, Chinese, Tai, Indian, basically anything your heart desires,” Alex said as she fanned out the menus for Steve to pick from.  
  
“Pizza works for me,” Steve said as he shrugged out of his jacket and put it on the coat rack by the door. His baseball cap soon joined it. He was in a dark blue long sleeve shirt that hugged his frame. A frame that was the proportions of almost every woman’s dream.  
  
“Any toppings you want or don’t want?” Alex asked as she looked over the menu so she wouldn’t stare at Steve.  
  
“Good old fashion pepperoni works for me, but if you want anything else, I don’t mind,” Steve said as he leaned against the kitchen counter.  
  
“Sounds good, we’ll order that after we finish the interview,” Alex said as she dropped the menus and moved into the living room, Steve trailing her. “It’s good incentive for you to put up with me.”  
  
“I still don’t know how I feel about this, what are you going to be asking me about?” Steve asked rubbing the back of his neck.  
  
“You’ve faced down tanks and aliens and you are worried about a girl with a camera.” Alex shook her head. “This is going to be really informal so don’t sweat it. If there is anything you don’t want to answer, just let me know, I won’t be offended.” Alex took her position behind the camera and grabbed her notebook.  
  
“Why aren’t you sitting so they can see you too?” Steve asked as he sat in the armchair across from the camera.  
  
“I’m not a fan of being on camera or pictures,” Alex said, wrinkling up her nose at the thought.  
  
“Yes, because I am sure you are so un-photogenic,” Steve said as he rolled his eyes.  
  
“Are you flirting with me Steve Rogers?” Alex said jokingly, but she felt herself blush slightly. James had said to use her womanly ways, he never warned her about Steve’s charm.  
  
“What’s the first question?” Steve asked with a playful smile.  
  
Alex hit record on the camera.  
  
“You weren’t recruited to be a soldier to begin with, but to entertain the people here in the states to drum up bond money. Tell me about the time before you went overseas,” Alex said as she got comfortable. “And follow up question, how did you feel about that first uniform? The shorts and the tights?”  
  
“Everyone always wants to know about the shorts,” Steve said with a laugh. “Well, to answer your first question. I was an art student, so I didn’t have any experience fighting, if you didn’t count back alley brawls, therefore they didn’t want to put me on the front lines right away. They thought that I’d work better on the home front to start with…”  
  
For the next forty-five minutes Steve talked about his time during World War II. Alex knew from her grandfather that you never asked a soldier about the battles that he was in, sometimes they were memories these men didn’t want to remember, so she focused more on the people and the places. She asked what his favorite memory was and about the Howling Commandos. She made sure not to ask any questions about Bucky.  
  
“And that’s it, thank you,” Alex said, reaching over and turning off the camera.  
  
“That wasn’t nearly as brutal as I thought it was going to be,” Steve said with a smile. “Thank you for that.”  
  
“Though it might come as a surprise, I am generally a nice person.” Alex said with a laugh as she tucked her feet under herself. “So, I have to ask. Why are you back in New York? Last anyone saw of you, you were in D.C. crashing ships into buildings and dismantling corrupt organizations.”  
  
Steve looked at her for a minute, sizing her up.  
  
“The camera’s off, I promise,” Alex said. She reached up, took it off the stand, and set it on the floor to make her point.  
  
“Well, I came back for two reasons. The first you’ve already met,” Steve said with a smile. “The other has to do with the Battle of New York. There were a number of alien artifacts left around the city. I am trying to find them before they get used improperly.”  
  
“It’s been almost two years? Aren’t you a bit late to the party?” Alex asked.  
  
“S.H.I.E.L.D did a lot of clean up initially, but there is still a lot of wreckage, you never know what you’ll find,” Steve said cryptically.  
  
Alex wanted to push, but didn’t. She thought if she started asking too direct questions, Steve would become suspicious. Instead she got up to grab them both a beer and order the pizza. The pizza would be there in twenty minutes, so Alex set up her laptop and started uploading the footage. The assignment was due tomorrow and it was going to take forever to edit.  
  
“I’m surprised you didn’t ask me about Bucky,” Steve said when Alex flopped down on the couch while the footage uploaded.  
  
“I figured it was something you didn’t want to talk about,” Alex said with a shrug. “It wasn’t from a lack of interest, trust me.”  
  
“What do you want to know?” Steve asked.  
  
“You really want to go there?” Alex asked raising an eyebrow.  
  
“I’m not promising I’ll answer, but…” Steve shrugged.  
  
Alex was surprised that Steve left the door open for her to ask whatever she wanted about James. She also got the feeling that Steve wanted to talk about his friend and he rarely had that option. Everyone probably thought they knew everything there was to know about him from the history books, like she had, and therefore didn’t think to actually ask about his past.  
  
“I don’t even know,” Alex said with a nervous laugh. “I am having such a problem merging the James I know with the Bucky I have read so much about. I’m guessing you have the same problem.”  
  
“That’s kind of an understatement,” Steve said with a small laugh. “Though I had firsthand experience, I didn’t read about him.”  
  
“I guess I want to know what he was like, before all this. You see the images of him smiling next to you out in the field, but was he a prankster or shy? What was James Buchanan Barnes like?” Alex asked, hoping she made sense.  
  
“He talked a lot of game and, in his defense, he had enough girls chasing after him that he could. He was smart and charming, but not in the way that made him unlikable. He wasn’t bad looking either, as I am sure you’ve noticed.” Alex felt herself blush, but Steve just continued. “Even with all those girls, he never went steady with any of them. Part of me thinks he was too busy taking care of me to get serious with anyone. Another part thinks he was passing the time until he figured out what he wanted.”  
  
“He said he liked science when we were talking,” Alex said trying to get off the subject of romantic relationships as quickly as possible.  
  
“The last night before he left, we went to see Howard Stark's flying car. Any sort of science demonstration and Bucky was there, which was funny because he didn’t give a damn about grades in school. Like he did alright, but it wasn’t a priority. It was a double date, but it was more like Bucky with two girls, and me trailing along.”  
  
“That’s rude of the other girl,” Alex said.  
  
“I can’t really blame her, I am not the best talking to girls and I wasn’t…well…this,” Steve motioned to his whole body, “when we went on the date.”  
  
“Still, you don’t go on a double date and ignore your ‘date’” Alex shook her head. “I am sure you were delightful. And you are doing fine talking to me.”  
  
“Really, because a girl like you would have terrified me back then,” Steve said with a smile. “Honestly, you kind of terrify me now.”  
  
Alex laughed out loud at this. While she knew that she didn’t give off the most welcoming vibe, the fact that a man that was so much taller and stronger than her said he was terrified of her was hilarious. She had been called many things, but terrifying wasn’t one of them.  
  
The apartment buzzer went off and Alex grabbed her wallet. She was about to run out the door, but Steve insisted on coming with her, though he stayed out of sight of the delivery guy. She paid the delivery man and handed Steve the breadsticks as they went back up to her apartment.  
  
“There are more beers in the fridge if you want one,” Alex said to Steve as he walked into the kitchen. She slid the box onto the table before grabbing plates and napkins.  
  
Steve grabbed a beer for each of them and sat down at the table. They dug into the pizza and sat in comfortable silence for a while. As she ate, Alex tried to wrap her mind around the fact that she was just sitting in her kitchen, eating pizza with Steve Rogers. Not only that, but they had become somewhat friends in a very short period of time. She doubted it would last after he found Bucky or the threat was neutralized, but it was still equal parts amazing and completely bizarre.  
  
“So, I have a question.” Alex said as she grabbed her third piece of pizza.  
  
“Shoot.”  
  
“You asked me if I was a Hydra agent when we first met. Is that who’s looking for James?” She asked. It was pretty direct, but she really had no idea how else to bring it up.  
  
Steve studied her for a minute.  
  
“We know that he worked most recently with Hydra, so we figured that they would want their weapon back, but for all we know there could be multiple parties looking for him. We just want to get him somewhere safe before there is a mini war going on in the streets. New York has had enough of that to last a lifetime,” Steve said.  
  
“Are they also looking for alien artifacts? Or is that just your thing?” Alex asked as she picked off a piece of pepperoni and popped it in her mouth.  
  
“Why?”  
  
“I’m curious by nature,” Alex said with a shrug. “Plus, if Hydra was the enemy then, and they were the enemy in D.C., it makes sense that they would be the enemy now.”  
  
“We don’t know if they are actively looking for artifacts, but it is better that they don’t get their hands on them,” Steve said cautiously.  
  
Alex took that as a yes.  
  
“You know, I’m surprised you didn’t drag Sam along. I feel like he would have loved to sit and make fun of you while I questioned you,” Alex said changing the subject. She figured she got what James wanted, now to make Steve not suspect that she was up to anything.  
  
“That is exactly why I didn’t bring him along. Besides, he can-” Steve stopped mid-sentence as if he remembered something. “He can just ask you next time he sees you. Or ask for a copy of the interview.”  
  
“If he does, how mad would you be if I gave it to him?” Alex asked with a smile. She wasn’t sure, but she had a feeling that Steve almost said that Sam could listen to the whole thing through the bugs. It was a little slip and Alex wouldn’t have even noticed it if she hadn’t known about the bugs in the first place.  
  
“That’s up to you, but if he teases me mercilessly, remember that I know where you live,” Steve said with a smile as he finished his beer.  
  
They chatted a bit more as Alex finished her food and cleaned up before Steve got ready to leave. While he might have been Captain America, Alex realized that she forgot about that when she was talking to him. He was just a normal, slightly awkward guy. It was weird to see her hero, or any superhero, like this. It was so easy to put them on a pedestal that when you saw they didn’t fit up there at all, it was easier to just think that they were someone else than change your opinion.  
  
“Thank you so much for doing this,” Alex said as she walked him to the door. “You seriously saved my ass and my grade.”  
  
“It wasn’t all that bad and it was really the least I could do with the weekend you had,” Steve said with a smile as he put on a baseball cap. He walked out into the hallway, but turned and looked at her instead of heading down the stairs.  
  
“Alex,” Steve said, looking her in the eyes, “I know that you’re curious, but this isn’t something that you should get involved with. Please stay out of it. I don’t want you to get hurt. I would feel like it was my fault.”  
  
“Why does everyone think that I wanted to run off and find people that potentially want to kill me? I’m a scientist, not a superhero.” Alex said as she leaned against the door frame.  
  
“The two things aren’t mutually exclusive,” Steve said with a smile.  
  
“Right, and I appreciate your concern. I don’t plan on fighting evil any time soon,” Alex said with a smile.  
  
“Alright, I’ll see you around A.J.”  
  
“Stay out of trouble Steve,” Alex said before closing the door.


	10. Chapter 10

Alex decided to clean the entryway and kitchen while she waited for the footage from the interview to finish uploading. She found two bugs in the entryway, one behind the door frame and the other was stuck underneath her coat rack. 

Alex had an overwhelming urge to stomp on them until they turned into dust. But if she did that Clint would be over at the apartment so fast she wouldn’t have time to actually enjoy smashing the things. Instead, she threw them into the junk drawer. That would probably dampen the sound enough that she would have some privacy again. 

The kitchen took more time to clean because she hadn’t cleaned it for quite a while. Mostly because she was never cooked. There was more dust than food grim, aside from what was in the microwave. Still, between scrubbing the microwave, wiping down the counters, mopping the floors, and throwing away all the junk mail, it took about an hour and a half. 

There were seven bugs to be found in the kitchen. Alex wondered how she hadn’t seen Steve and Sam planting them all. They were in the cupboards, under the counter, under the table, behind the microwave. It seemed a bit excessive. 

As she cleaned the cupboards, she also realized that she had no food in the apartment. When had she last gone food shopping? A week ago or was it two? All she had currently was a box of cereal, a carton of milk, a few beers, and a box of hot pockets in the freezer. She was such a typical college student. Luckily, she got a lot of her meals at the restaurant. 

When the kitchen was finally clean, Alex remembered why she didn’t worry about keeping the kitchen spotless. It was exhausting. The only good thing was that all the time it took her to clean and find the bugs allowed the footage to finish uploading. Alex grabbed one of the last beers out of the fridge and slumped down in front of her laptop. 

She had gotten a lot of good footage from the interview. It seemed weird to sit there and watch Captain America talk on film and know that she was the one that interviewed him. Hell, that she knew him. That she had his phone number. She had made his ringtone God Bless America. What the hell was going on in her life?

Alex watched the whole interview; most of what Steve talked about was interesting. It almost hurt her to cut any of the footage. It wasn’t just what he said, but how he said it, the fond smile he got when talking about his friends, the way his lips pulled down slightly talking about the more difficult things. In the end, she cut anything that could be found in a history textbook. After three hours of editing, Alex had eighteen minutes’ worth of footage and a completed assignment. It was three minutes over the time limit given, but she didn’t think her professor would care when he watched it. It was Captain Fucking America. If she didn’t get an A, she would go to the Dean and protest the grade. 

Alex checked her social media and email and suddenly it was midnight. Alex had a morning class on Thursdays and she knew that she should go to sleep, but she also had a bunch of articles that she had to read. Alex got ready for bed and grabbed the shortest article before she turned in for the night. As she entered the room and hit the light switch she made a mental note to grab a light bulb for the overhead light sometime tomorrow. It was getting really annoying to only have her bedside light. 

About halfway through the article her eyes started to droop shut, but Alex pushed through the rest of it. By twelve-thirty she was done with the article and half-way asleep. She threw the article onto the bedside table, checked her phone before she plugged it in, and turned the lamp off. She was asleep in a matter of moments. 

Then she was wide awake and it was still dark. Alex was on her back, looking up at the ceiling in the dark, wondering what woke her up. There were no sounds, or crazed ex-boyfriend’s attempting to break down her front door. The apartment was silent aside from the radiator rattling underneath the window and she knew Clint, or someone else, was watching the apartment. 

Alex rolled over in an attempt to go back to sleep. She came face to face with James. James’s hand was over Alex’s mouth before she even had a chance to think about screaming. It also kept her heart from flying out of her mouth.

“Don’t scream,” James whispered. It was dark, but Alex could have sworn he was smirking. The ass. He was squatting by the side of her bed, in all black, completely at ease. Alex wondered how he had gotten in without Clint seeing him. She also wondered how long he had been squatting there, waiting for her to wake up. 

James slowly took his hand off Alex’s mouth, which made her glare at him.

“Would you stop doing that!” she whispered as she threw her arm over her eyes. Alex took a few deep breaths and tried to bring her heart down from cardiac arrest level. While the whole I-was-watching-you-while-you-were-sleeping thing seems romantic, it was more unnerving than anything. Why was it in so many novels? 

“You enjoy giving me heart palpitations don’t you?” Alex asked when she could finally breathe. She looked at James from under her arm and saw he was smiling. While he might not have had the best hygiene when they met, he apparently had been brushing his teeth. They were so white she could see them in the dark. 

“Maybe a little,” James whispered back. Alex glared at him, which made him smile wider. 

“Is there a reason you’re sneaking into my room and pulling an Edward Cullen?” Alex took her arm off her face. 

“Who?” James asked, his brow furrowing as he tried to figure out her reference. Alex sighed and mentally reminded herself that he hadn’t been keeping up with pop culture references for the past seven decades or so. She tried to think of something that he would understand, but she wasn’t big on old movies. 

“Why are you here?” Alex sighed as she went to sit up. James put his hand on her shoulder to keep her on her back. There was no pressure in his touch, but the simple skin on skin contact, the warmth of his fingers, made Alex warm all the way to her toes. 

Suddenly, she was back in the bathroom with James’s lips on her forehead. The feeling of warmth that flood her system. The sound of the water pounding against the ceramic tub. The way that he made her feel both out of control and totally safe.

“What did you find out from Steve?” James took his hand off her shoulder almost as soon as he put it there. However, Alex felt as if she was burning up under the comforter. 

Alex tried to prop herself up on her elbow, but it was uncomfortable and their faces were way too close together. All Alex could concentrate on was his lips. She attempted to fold the pillow to prop her up more, but that was also uncomfortable.

“I can’t talk to you like this. It’s ridiculous,” Alex huffed.

James tilted his head to the side and just looked at her. Alex blinked back at him, not sure what to say. The way the light was coming through the window showcased how chapped his lips were and Alex figured they would probably feel rough if he kissed her. 

Then she closed her eyes and mentally screamed at her hormones to get their shit together. 

“What did you find out?” James asked again. She wondered how his eyes were so blue, even in the dark. How was that fair? Then again her whole life was ridiculous at this point, what was one more pair of beautiful blue eyes on top of the superhero nonsense. 

“You couldn’t wait until tomorrow? Or when I’m wearing a bra?” Alex asked. She was rewarded with a small cough from James. He looked away and seemed bashful for the first time. The slight shift in power made her a little more at ease, though no more comfortable with their talking arrangement. 

“Maybe I should come back tomorrow morning and talk to you.” James didn’t make a move to leave. 

Alex sighed and tried to sit up again, but James put his hand on her shoulder again. His fingers lingered a little longer this time, trailing slightly down her arm as he pulled away. His eyes following his fingers. She wondered if he was a bit upset that she had the comforter pulled up over her chest. 

“Is there a reason I can’t sit up?” Alex whispered, her voice sounding husky even to herself. 

“I don’t know if they have the equipment to see through the curtains. If you sit up for no reason they will wonder what you are doing and come to ask questions,” James explained. 

“I guess that means no more changing in front of the windows,” Alex said, casting a glance at the black curtains that were pulled across her window. She hadn’t even thought they would use anything other than a pair of binoculars or a camera. 

“It would probably be a thermal camera, so even if you did, they would have to use their imagination,” James said, his lips pulling up again. 

“Wouldn’t they see you in the same camera?” Alex asked. She wasn’t completely knowledgeable about how the camera operated, but she did know they could see through walls. 

James turned around and pointed to the old radiator under her window. The weather was cold outside so the radiator was at blister inducing heat level. It would probably block his heat signature.

“So, are you going to tell me what Steve said, or do you want me to come back tomorrow?” James asked. 

“I’ll tell you, but I can’t talk to you like this. Besides, it has to be hard on your knees.” 

“My knees are fine,” James huffed. 

They stared at one another for a few moments, trying to decide how to break the stalemate. James didn’t make a move to leave or to move at all, he just squatted there and stared at her. Like a statue, a very pretty statue, but it was still unnerving. 

Alex did enjoy talking to James, but not at three in the morning when in a few short hours her alarm would be screaming at her to get up. She also knew that every time he risked coming to talk to her was another time that Steve and the others may find him. While she trusted Steve, James was not on their side and he did not want to be found. She respected that. 

She could only think of one way that they would be able to talk. Alex sighed and scooted over to the cold side of the bed. She pulled back the corner of the comforter from where she just moved from and patted the space she evacuated. James raised an eyebrow. 

“I can’t talk to you like that and you want answers. Get up here,” Alex rolled onto her side, got comfortable, and waited. 

James stared at her for a few more heartbeats before he reached down and untied his boots. He placed them by the heater before he slid into the bed, which groaned under his weight. He pulled the covers over himself and turn to face her. 

“Will you tell me what you found now?” James asked as he pushed his hair out of his face. 

Maybe this wasn’t the best idea Alex ever had. She had to scream at her hormones when he was on the floor, now they were screaming at her. His body heat had made the space under the covers even warmer, making her want to pull the covers down. However, she had already mentioned that she wasn’t wearing a bra and now she was very aware of it. All of this was on top of the fact that it was now almost impossible not to focus on his lips. 

“Well…ummm…Steve was here earlier,” Alex started trying to keep her train of thought on the rails. She didn’t actually think that he would get into bed with her and now they were only inches apart. 

“I saw him coming up the street,” James said softly. Now that they were so close, he barely had to vocalize the words for her to hear him. It also probably helped that she was hyper aware of his lips. 

However, his eyes were unfocused and Alex realized that he was somewhere else. She could only imagine what it was like for James to see Steve. Now that he actually remembered who Steve was, or at least part of it, what did he think when he saw him? Did he remember playing baseball on the streets of Brooklyn, sliding under cars? Or was he too focused on the fact that he almost smashed Steve’s skull recently. 

“Yeah, well,” Alex said and James’s eyes focused on her again, “Apparently after the Battle of New York, there were alien artifacts left in the wreckage of the city. S.H.I.E.L.D collected a lot of what was left, but I think Steve knows of something still in the city. That might be what Hydra wants.” 

“I’ve missed so much,” James sighed as he tugged on his dog tags and rolled onto his back. “Will you walk me through it?”

Alex looked at his profile in the dark. She could feel the minutes ticking awake before she had to get up and go running. Her professor in her class was notorious for giving quizzes on the reading and she still had two more articles to read. Not to mention her five minute pitch for her History project before turning it in. It would take forever to explain everything to James. 

Yet he looked so lost. He was just sitting there pulling his dog tags along their chain. The click, click, click matching the clunking of the radiator. His eyes were trained on the ceiling, but she could tell that his brain was whirling a million miles a minute. 

“Where do you want me to start?” Alex asked. 

“Start with the Battle of New York,” James said without taking his eyes off the ceiling. 

“You want me to explain the whole Battle of New York or the Sparknotes version?” Alex rolled onto her back as well. While the whole battle might have only taken an afternoon, the repercussions were long lasting and serious. 

“I don’t know what that means, but I don’t need a play-by-play. Just give me the highlights,” there was a hint of a smile in his voice. Alex decided that the way to go from now on was sports metaphors. 

For the next forty-five minutes she explained everything she knew about what lead up to the battle, the actual Battle of New York, and everything that came after it. A lot of this only came to light after S.H.I.E.L.Ds servers were dumped on the internet. James didn’t interrupt or ask questions, just listened intently as Alex rambled on. 

“We all sat in front of our TVs and watched the whole world change,” Alex finished. 

“You all realized you weren’t in Kansas anymore,” James said. She didn’t know if it was because of the depression in her voice or how much he felt out of his depth that he made the Wizard of Oz reference. Somehow, it made her feel better. 

“I can only imagine how Steve took all of this,” James sighed as he turned his head to look at her. “You know when we were kids, we would debate about aliens being real.” 

“What side were you on?” Alex asked. She was tired, but she loved hearing James’s talk about when he was a boy. When the world was so different and he was so different. When Steve could just sit around and debate about aliens instead of fighting them. 

“It didn’t make sense that we were the only planet that would have life on it. Scientifically, if life could manage against all odds here, why not somewhere else?” James explained, his eyes alive and his voice excited.

“I use to sit out in my backyard and stare at the stars. There wasn’t a lot of lights where I grew up so it seemed like I could see almost every single one. I wondered if there was anyone else, anywhere else in the universe doing the same thing,” Alex told him. Normally she didn’t talk about her childhood, but this James was different than any other James she had met to this point. He seemed young and excited and innocent. She didn’t know if it was because she was tired or because James really was different, but she wanted to protect this James so badly it made her heart ache. 

Without thinking, she slid her fingers across the sheet and covered his hand with hers. She was a bit shocked when her fingers met metal, forgetting for a moment all about his arm. About what he has been. Still, she placed her hand there and felt the ridges of the metal that made up his fingers underneath her own. She didn’t know if he felt her hand on his because he didn’t do anything right away. She expected him to stiffen or pull away, but finally he flipped his hand over and interlaced their fingers. 

“And then you moved a city where you can barely see the stars,” James laughed. “Steve and I would sit on the roof of the apartment building and watch airplanes instead. Though there were a few more stars to see back then.” 

“When I miss them, the stars, I head to the observatory and look at the stars in the air conditioning. Airplanes are pretty cool to watch too, though. We didn’t have many of those flying over the wheat fields,” Alex laughed.

“You lived by wheat fields?” James asked with a laugh as he turned to look at her. “You don’t strike me as…well…” James’s coughed a little and looked up at the ceiling in embarrassment. 

“A girl from the Midwest? Don’t worry, I get that a lot,” Alex said, giving his hand a squeeze, not sure if he felt it. “And it’s mostly because I hated it out there. It was a four road town where everyone knew everyone and there wasn’t anything to do. The only thing I miss is the stars.” 

“And your family,” James said softly. 

“Yeah, well. Sometimes family is better when they are a few thousand miles away,” Alex sighed as she played with her grandfather’s dog tags. “I love them to death, and I miss them, but then I go home and within forty-eight hours I’m climbing the walls.” 

“You just have to be careful that you don’t stay away too long and it’s all gone when you decide to go back,” James’s voice was low. 

“Oh, God, James I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-” Alex started feeling like a complete idiot. Here she was complaining about her family and he lost all of his. 

“I know, I didn’t mean it like that,” James cut her off, returning the squeeze to the hand she had given him earlier. “Just imparting some of my wisdom to you.”

“Well, I’ll keep that in mind then,” Alex laughed. They sat there in the dark in silence, hand in hand. It wasn’t even an overly romantic gesture, it was more grounding. They were both there, together, experiencing that moment. Alex felt her eyes slide close and she knew that if she didn’t move or say anything she was going to fall asleep. 

“The world really has changed,” James said, jolting Alex awake. His voice was wistful and she didn’t know if it was because he missed the past, or if he just missed understanding the world. 

“The world is always changing, but in other ways it is always the same,” Alex answered back. She didn’t know where that came from, maybe a fortune cookie, but it was the truth. In the last couple years the existence of aliens had been confirmed, robotics had made leaps and bounds, and Hydra was alive and well. Yet the sun still rose, people fell in love, college assignments were still due, and Superheroes were still there to save the day.

Everything was changing and everything was staying the same. 

“Now who’s imparting wisdom onto who?” James laughed a little. His thumb rubbed the back of her hand as if it was the most natural gesture in the world. Alex wondered how sensitive the sensors were in his hand to know just the right amount of pressure to use. Once again, it wasn’t about romance, it was about closeness. Both of them had been alone for so long that the closeness to another human being was more important than anything else. 

It started to rain and the drumming against the windowpane was like a lullaby. Alex wanted to ask James what he planned to do. Was he going to go after Hydra, S.H.I.E.L.D, the artifact, or all three? Did he need help? Could she even help him if he needed it? And yet, just lying there with his thumb rubbing the back of her hand was all she wanted. She couldn’t bring herself to ask. 

Alex didn’t know when she fell asleep. It wasn’t a conscious choice, but the next thing she knew the rain was no longer drumming on the windowpane and her alarm was blaring. Alex rolled over and grabbed her phone to turn off the alarm. She was about to lay back down when it registered what time her phone read. It read seven a.m., not five-thirty a.m.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Alex said as she jumped out of bed. She was about to have a total meltdown when she spotted a note scrawled in the margins of the article she had read the night before. 

_I didn’t want to wake you when I left. Your alarm was about to go off, but you looked like you needed the rest. I will talk to you later. Be safe. ___

__Alex felt herself smiling down at the note, but was also a bit upset. She wasn’t going to have time to go for a jog, which usually helped clear her mind. As it was, she was barely going to have time to shower, eat, and finish reading those other articles before class. She was also surprised that Clint hadn’t called to ask why she hadn’t gone for a run. Maybe there were thermal cameras on the apartment and he knew she was still in bed. But then how the hell did James get in?_ _

__Alex pondered this question during her shower. Afterwards she used the rest of the milk in her fridge for her cereal. As she ate, she read over her articles for her morning class. To her surprise it was actually interesting, which made it a fast read. Still, by the time she was done, she had to dash out the door to make it to class on time._ _

__There was a pop quiz, but Alex aced it. She then had to go and give her five minute pitch to her history professor about her project. Alex hadn’t scripted what she was going to say, but figured she could bullshit her way through it. As soon as she said she interviewed Steve Rogers, her professor stopped her and asked so many questions that it turned into a half an hour debacle. At the end, she was pretty sure he was drooling at the thought of hearing Steve Rogers speak._ _

__By the end of the meeting, Alex was exhausted. It was hard to give half truths about how she snagged an interview with Captain America. In the end, it was the impatience of three other students that got her off the hook. Alex almost ran out of the office at the first opportunity._ _

__Alex had three missed messages on her phone. One was from Clint and two were from Mrs. Malone. Alex decided that it was probably a good idea to call Clint first and hit the contact picture. Mrs. Malone was slightly less likely to send out the National Guard if she didn’t call back. Slightly._ _

__“Someone got out of the house late this morning,” Clint said as he answered the phone._ _

__“You need something?” Alex asked as she made her way to a vending machine. She needed caffeine badly._ _

__“Just wanted to check in on my favorite surveillance victim,” Clint said. “What were you up to last night after Steve left? You were moving around the place like a mad woman.”_ _

__“I was cleaning. I know it’s probably a novel concept to you, but some of us do it when we have the chance,” Alex said as she dug in her purse of change._ _

__“Find anything interesting?” Clint asked. Other than the nine bugs that were put in her apartment without her permission, Alex wanted to ask. She wondered if that was what he was asking, if he realized that all the sound was dampened._ _

__“Just about a year’s worth of exploded hot pocket in my microwave,” Alex laughed as she found her wallet. She started digging around for the right change when she felt the hair rise on the back of her neck. She could hear Clint rambling about something, but pulled the phone away from her ear. Something had given her the chills, but the hallway was completely empty on either side. Strange for the middle of a Thursday afternoon. Maybe that’s what gave her the chills._ _

__“Hellooooo?” Clint called._ _

__“Sorry, I just,” Alex sighed as she started putting coins into the vending machine. “I was distracted. I doubt I missed anything important.”_ _

__“Ouch. I mean, that’s accurate, but rude,” Clint laughed on the other end of the line. “I was just telling all about my exciting day watching a cat play on the fire escape. I mean I’m more of a dog person, but…”_ _

__Alex rolled her eyes as he continued to ramble about pets. She let her eyes wander to the pop selections when something in the reflection caught her eye. There was a man standing behind her, staring at her. Alex spun around and came face to face with the very scary looking man who was mere inches behind her._ _

__“Can I help you?” Alex asked him. She didn’t know why she asked him that, but that was the only thing she could think to say._ _

__“Just waiting to buy a drink.” The man’s voice sounded like he smoked seven packs of cigarettes an hour. His skin was weathered and she could see a tattoo peeking out from under the collar of his shirt. Alex usually wasn’t one to judge on appearance, especially since hers read more biker babe than a Biochemistry student, but this guy was obviously bad news. Plus, he looked way too old to be a student._ _

__“I’ll just be a second,” Alex typed in two random numbers. She hated to have her back to the man, so she stood sideways to keep an eye on him. The bottle dropped to the bottom of the machine, a Diet Coke, and Alex quickly retrieved it. She hated diet pop, but at that point she just wanted to get out of there._ _

__When she stood up the man was so close to her that she could smell the tobacco wafting off of him and she also caught a hint of whiskey. Either way, he was way too close to her for personal comfort._ _

__“All yours,” Alex said as she sidestepped out of the way. As she did so she snapped a picture of his face on her phone. She sent it to Clint as she ended the call. He had been yelling at her during the whole exchange, but she’d ignored him._ _

__The man reached out and grabbed onto her upper arm. It wasn’t hard enough to bruise her, but it made her stop in her tracks._ _

__“Let go of me,” Alex’s voice shook a little. She was worried that he knew she took a picture and wanted her to delete it. Or worse, was going to do something drastic now that she had caught on to whatever he was doing._ _

__“Alex! Fancy meeting you here!” Alex turned to see Monica walking down the hall, curls bouncing and heels clacking on the floor. The man dug his fingers into her arm and Alex winced._ _

__“Tell her to leave,” he whispered._ _

__“What are you doing here? I thought you didn’t have classes today,” Alex tried to sound chipper. She was not going to get Monica mixed up with this._ _

__“Yeah, well, I had errands to run. Who’s your friend?” Monica asked with a smile. She seemed completely at ease with biker boy glaring at her. She even gave him a million watt smile._ _

__“Oh, this. This is…a friend,” Alex said lamely. Her phone buzzed in her hand and she was in a state of indecision. How did she get out of this situation with everyone in one piece? Well, bike boy didn’t need to be in one piece, but she would like her and Monica to be._ _

__“Well, that’s descriptive. It’s nice to meet you,” Monica held out her hand to the man. He let go of Alex’ arm and grasped her hand. Alex was worried he would do something, like break Monica’s arm, but all he did was shake her hand._ _

__“Pleasure,” the man grumbled._ _

__“Oh, Alex, are you free? You said you needed my Bio notes and I have time now if you’ll run over to my place with me,” Monica said as she looped her arm through Alex’s. “That is, unless you have plans with your friend here.”_ _

__Alex had never asked Monica for her notes because Monica took such cryptic notes they were useless. They resembled hieroglyphics more than words. Monica knew something was wrong and was giving her a way out. Alex could have kissed her, but at what was the cost of this escape going to be?_ _

__“Not at all! We were just catching up, but we have that test tomorrow and I need to study,” Alex said quickly as her phone continued to buzz in her hand. She wondered how many times it would take for her to not pick up before the reinforcements arrived._ _

__“Great, let’s go. It was nice to meet you.” Monica said as she turned the both of them and started heading down the hallway. As soon as they had taken a few steps Alex answered her phone._ _

__“Alex, what happened?” Clint’s voice was all business. He wasn’t the goofy guy who was watching her, he was Agent Barton._ _

__“Did you get the picture I sent you?” Alex said, trying not to sound as freaked out as she was. She couldn’t go into details because she didn’t want to freak Monica out more than the other girl probably already was._ _

__“Yes, who is it?” Clint asked._ _

__“No idea, you find that out and call me when you have an answer. Talk to you later,” Alex said before she hung up the phone._ _

__Monica was silent as they left the building and headed down the street. Alex could feel Monica staring at her, waiting for her to explain why a very scary man was threatening her by a vending machine. Her grip on Alex’s arm was like iron and she wondered if Monica worked out at all._ _

__“So, was that the guy who gave you those lovely bruises?” Monica asked as if she was asking the weather. Her walking tempo was fast, not a jog, but fast. Alex didn’t have to worry about not going for a run that morning, she was getting her exercise now. How could Monica move that fast in her heels?_ _

__“No, I have no idea who he was,” Alex admitted._ _

__Monica clicked her tongue and shook her head. Making a left and taking them off campus. Alex had no idea where they were going, but she didn’t care as long as it was away from the man in that hallway._ _

__“I thought he was a friend?” Monica said, her voice sickeningly sweet._ _

__“Yeah, couldn’t you tell that we were friends from the sandbox? We had matching friendship bracelets and everything,” Alex rolled her eyes._ _

__“And yet, you were trying to send me away? What, to protect me? I swear to god you are going to get yourself killed,” Monica pulled them both short and stared at her. “Do you have no self-preservation instincts?”_ _

__“I do!” Alex answered, getting really sick of people of asking her that question. “I just have stronger protection instincts. You saw that guy, I didn’t know what he was going to do to you. I wanted to keep you safe.”_ _

__“That’s sweet and I thank you, but who’s going to keep you safe while you protect everyone else?” Monica asked grabbing Alex’s hand._ _

__“I can take care of myself. I don’t need someone to keep me safe. Why does everyone think that I do?” Alex asked as she used her free hand and dragged her fingers through her hair. Alex wanted to sound pissed, but there was no conviction in her voice._ _

__“You are seriously going to ask me that after what just happened?” Monica said waving her hand in frustration. “Alexandra, we all need someone to look out for us. That’s why I joined the sorority. I look out for all those girls and they look out for me. I know being self-sufficient is romanticized and all that, but there is a reason humans form connections and it isn’t just for sex.” Monica’s eyes were shining and Alex could see how earnest she was. Alex wanted to hug her, to thank her, but that wasn’t her style._ _

__“Did you start taking Psych classes behind my back?” Alex asked with a smile, but she took hold of Monica’s other hand._ _

__“Everyone has to take Intro, remember? Passed with flying colors,” Monica said as she gave her an answering smile. “Listen, I have a couch that you would be more than welcome on. I have a doorman and everything. I don’t think you should be alone.”_ _

__“Thank you, seriously, thank you,” Alex said giving both of Monica’s hands a squeeze. “But I have a whole army of people who are looking out for me. I’ll be fine.”_ _

__“You keep telling me that, but where are these people who are supposed to be keeping such a close eye on you? Because you always seem to have new bruises and terrifying men following you around. I have yet to see one of these heroes swooping in to save the day,” Monica said with the tilt of her head._ _

__“And that’s my cue,” a male voice said with a laugh. Both Monica and Alex turned to see Sam standing in the middle of the sidewalk. He was in a white t-shirt, brown jacket, jeans, and aviator shades with a smile on his face._ _

__“Who’s this?” Monica asked, looking Sam up and down, obviously liking what she saw. However, she also still holding onto Alex and she didn’t doubt for a second that Monica would put up one hell of a fight if needed. Alex also had to admit, Sam was a good looking guy and he carried himself with confidence. Not arrogance, confidence, which was a distinction that a lot of guys couldn’t make._ _

__“A hero swooping in to save the day,” Sam said with another dazzling smile. “You called and I answered.”_ _

__Monica smiled and rolled her eyes. She looked over and Alex and lifted an eyebrow, waiting for a real answer. Part of her wanted to tell Monica who Sam was, but that would just get her further involved with this mess. Already one of the henchmen knew what Monica looked like. If Hydra thought Monica was working with Steve and the others, she would be in a lot of danger._ _

__“This one is a friend, I promise,” Alex said as she let go of Monica’s hands._ _

__“A friend with a name, I’ll have you know,” Sam said as he walked over and held out his hand. Monica grabbed it and returned the handshake with a smile._ _

__“And what would that name be?” Monica asked batting her eyelashes._ _

__“It’s no fun if I just tell you. How about you give me your number and I’ll give you my name,” Sam said with a smile._ _

__“Does that ever actually work?” Monica rolled her eyes again, but she was laughing._ _

__“Sometimes, but not often,” Sam admitted as he turned toward Alex. “Clint called, said you were having some problems with a creep. I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d walk you home.”_ _

__“How long did it take him to get in touch with you after the picture?” Alex asked._ _

__“He was on the phone with me before you even hung up with him,” Sam said with a smile._ _

__“What picture and who’s Clint?” Monica asked, looking between Sam and Alex._ _

__“Another friend. I was on the phone with him when the man at the vending machine came up. He was worried and apparently made some calls,” Alex explained being as vague as possible._ _

__“You know we are going to have to talk about this eventually, right? Cause I know you are full of shit with that explanation,” Monica said giving Alex a look. “But you’re off the hook right now. I’m supposed to meet a few of my sisters.”_ _

__“We always have Chem,” Alex pointed out._ _

__“You’re right, we do. I release you into the care of your friend here,” Monica said as she started walking backwards down the sidewalk._ _

__“Thanks a lot,” Sam said, which made Alex roll her eyes._ _

__“Alex, do me a favor?” Monica called, stopping her progression._ _

__“I’ll try,” Alex laughed._ _

__“Try to stay alive and in one piece until we have that chat? Can you manage that?” Monica asked with a laugh. Monica meant it as a joke, or at least mostly as a joke, but it hit a bit closer to home than she realized. Alex wanted to laugh along with her, but she honestly didn’t know if she could promise that. How awful was it that she couldn’t know that she would be alive in four days’ time?_ _

__“I’ll keep her in one piece, don’t worry,” Sam said when Alex didn’t answer right away. “You’ll be able to tear her apart after class, promise.”_ _

__“That’s all I needed to know. Catch you later, Alex,” Monica called before she turned around and headed down the sidewalk._ _

__“We shouldn’t let her walk home alone. If someone is tracking me they might track her,” Alex said as she turned to look at Sam._ _

__“Don’t worry, there’s someone tailing her as we speak. She’ll get home safe and sound. I’m here to make sure that the same can be said for you,” Sam said as Monica rounded the corner and was out of sight._ _

__“Did you find out who the man at the college was?” Alex asked as they started walking toward her apartment, which was in the opposite direction._ _

__“Common thug, probably hired by someone to watch you. I doubt that he was supposed to abduct you, but he probably thought he could get a bigger payout by kidnapping you,” Sam said with a shrug._ _

__“Lovely, do we know who hired him?” Alex asked as they crossed the street._ _

__“We have ideas, but no proof. So if you could do us a favor and put the bugs back where you found them, it would probably be best. Don’t want them to be able to make a second attempt to make off with you,” Sam said giving her a sidelong glance._ _

__“Only if you show me where all of them are and where you place them. A girl needs her privacy,” Alex conceded. After all the complaining and insisting that she didn’t need protection, she did. That man at the college would have taken her, or worse, if Monica hadn’t just shown up. This was getting out of hand and she needed all the superheroes she could get her hands on watching her. The bugs were annoying, but if it meant she kept breathing, she would deal with them._ _

__“I think that we can do that,” Sam said as he put his arm around her shoulder. “This has really shaken you up, hasn’t it?”_ _

__Alex nodded as she leaned into him. “I wouldn’t be so freaked out if it was a predictable danger. But this is shadows hiding in the dark and smoke monsters. Brass knuckles and sarcasm isn’t going to be a lot of help in that sort of a fight.”_ _

__“That’s why I’m here, not just for my beautiful face and overwhelming charm,” Sam said holding her close as they waited for the light to change. “And I’m not the only one looking out for you.”_ _

__“Thanks Sam, I know there are other things that you would rather be doing,” Alex said as the light changed and they broke apart to cross the street._ _

__“A.J. I assure you, there is no place I’d rather be. But…” Sam trailed off as he swept the street with his eyes._ _

__“But what?” Alex asked, knowing where this was going._ _

__“If you turned Bucky over to us, they would have no reason to want you anymore. The only reason they’re after you is because they think the two of you are connected. Give him to us and all of this would be over,” Sam explained._ _

__“All of this is working off the assumption that I know where James is,” Alex pointed out as they got to her apartment building._ _

__“Are you seriously telling me you have no idea where he might be?” Sam waited patiently as Alex found her keys and let them both in. She tried not to look at the apartment across the hall from hers, wondering if James was in there, as she closed the door to her place._ _

__“Even if I did know where he was, the last time you saw him, you tried to shoot him,” Alex pointed out as Sam swept the apartment._ _

__“He was also trying to kill all three of us, if you remember,” Sam pointed out._ _

__“Because you had a gun, if you remember,” Alex countered as she stripped out of her coat and threw herself down on the couch._ _

__“If you’re worried about me hurting him, I’m not going to. Trust me, Steve would have my head. Is keeping him hidden as important as your safety? Would he do the same for you?” Sam asked as he leaned over the back of the couch. “He can take care of himself, you can’t.”_ _

__Alex looked up at him and knew that if she was being honest, he was right. James was a trained soldier who had a metal arm. She had watched him beat a man’s face to a pulp, snap the same man’s arm, and take on Steve and Sam. Physically, James could take care of himself._ _

__But then there was the man she was talking to last night. The one that spoke about watching airplanes from the roof of an apartment building. The one that loved science and used to argue about aliens with Steve. The one that seemed so lost and confused. That man needed to be protected. That man needed her help. And both men would do the same for her, she was sure of it._ _

__“I don’t know where he is, Sam, scouts honor,” Alex said as she looked up at him. Sam sighed and placed his head against the couch._ _

__“Alright, well, Clint is still watching the place. He is going to text you every hour, so check in before bed so he doesn’t think you’ve been kidnapped or something. I’m sure Steve is going to come check up on you when he has the time.” Sam said as he straightened up. “Now where are those bugs that you found?”_ _

__“They are the drawer in the kitchen, top one closest to the door,” Alex said as she sat up._ _

__Sam moved into the kitchen and found the drawer in question. He laughed as he fished out the bugs from between the stamps, envelopes, and twist ties that were thrown in there._ _

__“You know that you had almost four thousand dollars’ worth of equipment stuffed in this drawer?” Sam said as he pulled out the bugs._ _

__“Don’t tell me that or I’ll sell them as soon as you leave. I have rent to pay,” Alex said with a laugh. Sam placed one of the bugs back in the entryway, another under the table in the kitchen, and pocketed the rest._ _

__“I am leaving the ones we put in the living room where they are. There is another in the hallways, but the bedroom and bathroom are clean,” Sam explained as he came back into the living room and looked down at her._ _

__“Thanks for babysitting,” Alex said with a weary smile._ _

__“Hey, it’s not like that at all,” Alex made a face at Sam. “Alright, it’s like that a bit, but I like you. You’re smart and sassy and handling all this a lot better than almost anyone probably could. I’d like you to stay alive.”_ _

__“I’d like to stay alive too,” Alex said with a smile. “And even though all of this is scary and awful, I’m glad I got to meet you.”_ _

__“Hey, don’t go getting all sappy on me,” Sam said as he ruffled Alex’s hair. She wrinkled her nose at him and slapped his hand away. He grabbed something out of his pocket and scribbled something the notepad that was on the table._ _

__“What’s that?” Alex asked._ _

__“My number, in case you need to get a hold of me. I mean, you have everyone else’s number, why not mine. Feel free to call, day or night,” Sam said as he moved to the front door._ _

__“You want me to pass it along to Monica for you?” Alex joked. Sam laughed as he slid his sunglasses back on._ _

__“You would really drag her into all this? I mean I know I’m hot, but…” Sam said._ _

__“You think you are far more attractive that you really are,” Alex laughed._ _

__“Oh, no, I know exactly how good looking I am,” Sam said as he opened the front door. “I’ll see you later.”_ _

__“I’ll be here.”_ _


	11. Chapter 11

Alex called Mrs. Malone and told her that she was feeling under the weather and couldn’t come into work. Since Alex very rarely called off, Mrs. Malone didn’t give her too much grief about it, though she did make sure that Alex hadn’t been attacked again. Alex told a half-truth about just being tired and needing to get some sleep. Mrs. Malone seemed to believe it and asked if Alex needed chicken noddle soup dropped off. She hated lying to Mrs. Malone, but she was in no state of mind to deal with pissed off New Yorkers. Especially since one of them could want to kidnap or kill her.  
  
Alex silently thanked James for giving her that envelope of money before he left for the first time. Without it, she would be short on rent this month. However, on the list of things she was worried about, being late on rent would be on the bottom of the list. If she was being honest with herself, it probably wasn’t even on the list.  
  
After ending the call with Mrs. Malone, Alex toyed with the idea of calling her mother. Suddenly, she missed the sound of her mother’s voice and the talk about how the crops were growing or how her students were doing. However, there was a good chance that Alex would either start crying or get into an argument with her after only a few moments of conversation. She settled on writing her an email instead. It was mostly lies, but she knew that her mother would be happy to hear from her.  
  
With that sent, Alex decided to use her day off to get caught up on all her backed up school work. She pulled out all the assignments that she needed to work on and it all seemed like a lot more than she previously thought. Before she knew it, it was six o’clock and her stomach was growling at her.  
  
The spotless kitchen gave Alex the urge to cook something, maybe a lasagna or even fresh spaghetti and meatballs. However, she also knew that she had less than no food in her apartment. She also didn’t have the money to get takeout, as her plight with rent money clearly pointed out.  
  
“Hot pocket for dinner, yet again,” Alex sighed as she pulled open the freezer. However, instead of the one box of hot pockets, it was stuffed with multiple bags and boxes. There was frozen mozzarella sticks, pizzas, and a bunch of other foodstuff. She checked the fridge to see that it was similarly stocked with new food.  
  
Her phone started to go off and Alex grabbed it, hitting answer without looking at the readout.  
  
“How did you possibly survive on nothing hot pockets and condiments? If you didn’t work at a restaurant you would have withered up and died weeks ago,” Clint said on the other line.  
  
“So this is your doing?” Alex asked as she grabbed a bottle of ginger ale out of the fridge.  
  
“I figured, you brought me dinner the other night I could do the same for you. Plus, once Steve saw how sparse the food situation was, he went a bit overboard,” Clint laughed. “He sent me to the store with a novel-length grocery list. This was before the whole show down with the mystery thug this morning.”  
  
“Yeah, I’m surprised that he hasn’t put me on house arrest yet,” Alex laughed as she opened the cabinet and found it filled with dried goods.  
  
“The only reason he hasn’t is because he’s off doing something right now. As soon as he has a free moment to make it over there, well…” Clint laughed and Alex pictured him shrugging.  
  
“You know, at this point, it might not be a bad idea. I like my freedom, but I like breathing a little bit more,” Alex said as she cradled the phone against her shoulder and filled a pot with water. She put it on top of the stove and clicked on the burner.  
  
“Yeah, well, just remember who got you that food you are making when you and Steve face off. I don’t want to be in the middle of it,” Clint said before he clicked off the call.  
  
Alex shook her head, knowing he could see her, and pulled the can of spaghetti sauce out to warm it up. She then went into the freezer and found a bag of meatballs.  
  
It was about five minutes into making her dinner that she remembered why she never cooked. While she could watch the numbers count down on a microwave, knowing exactly how long it took a hot pocket to cook, it took forever to even boil water. Alex read another article as she waited for everything to be done so that she could eat.  
  
She leaned against the counter when the sound of something sliding across the floor caught her attention. Nothing had fallen off the kitchen table, but she was sure that it was the sound of something hitting the floor in the kitchen. That’s when a glimpse of white by the front door caught her eye. Someone had slipped something underneath her door.  
  
Alex bit down hard on her bottom lip to stop herself from running over and grabbing it, because she was pretty sure she knew who it was from. She also knew that Clint was watching her and he would wonder what she went to pick up. It was killing her not to see what he had written. It could only be from one person. He was just on the other side of the door, so close.  
  
Finally, her food was ready and Alex plated up a huge mound of pasta. She had made way too much food, but she figured she could reheat it some other time. As she walked over to the kitchen table, she pushed the meatball off her plate. Alex squatted down to grab the meatball and slid the paper underneath her plate.  
  
_At seven, turn on your radio and find an excuse to pull the curtains. _The letter was written in James clean handwriting.__  
  
Alex’s heart jumped a little at the thought of seeing him. Nothing had really happened the night before, they had just slept in the same bed together, but they had made an emotional connection. Well, she had at least. She hadn’t just been attracted to him, she had wanted to be with him. Would everything be different? Would he act like it didn’t happen? How would she act? What did he want?  
  
Alex spun her fork within her pasta and tried to get her stomach out of her throat and returned to its proper place. She hadn’t even been this nervous when she first met James in that dark alley. The fact that she was more nervous that she might have feelings for him than that he was going to kill her spoke volumes of her character. Mostly, that she had major issues.  
  
She pushed these thoughts away and attempted to figure out what she was going to tell Clint about why she pulled the curtains. He would see through weak excuses, he was a S.H.I.E.L.D agent after all, so it had to be good. Luckily, Alex had almost ten years of lying to people in power. Her parents were a bit more gullible than Clint, but she learned that the best lie was a simple lie.  
  
By the time Alex was done with dinner, she had a plan. It was simple, but it was the best idea that she came up with. Alex put a lid on the pot, deciding to put the leftovers away later since it was already six forty-five. She hit Clint’s contact number as she put her dirty dishes in the sink.  
  
“Miss me already?” Clint asked when he answered the phone.  
  
“Every moment we are apart, my dear,” Alex laughed as she started making her way toward her bedroom. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to be closing the curtains for an hour or so.”  
  
“And why, light of my life, is that exactly?” Clint asked, his tone was light. Alex couldn’t tell if he was suspicious of her motives or not. When lying, unless someone obviously has caught you, just keep going. Confidence is the key.  
  
“I didn’t take my run this morning so I’m going to work out a bit. As close as we are, I don’t want you see me sweating like a pig. I’m going to be turning on some music as well, do you have any requests?” Alex pulled out workout clothes to change into.  
  
“It doesn’t sound like you are asking me if this is okay, but telling me it is happening,” Clint said, dropping the joking tone that the conversation had earlier.  
  
“That’s because that is exactly what’s happening,” Alex said as she put the phone on speakerphone so she could change. “You will have the bugs, so if a crazy murderer comes into my apartment, you’ll hear me scream. I’m letting you invade my life, give me at least an hour to myself.”  
  
“Alright, but if you don’t text me in an hour, on the dot, you are going to be in huge trouble,” Clint laughed.  
  
“Roger that, over and out.” Alex hung up the phone and pulled on the rest of her clothes. She was in a loose tank top and yoga pants when she went back into the living room. She gave Clint a little finger wave before she pulled the curtains closed.  
  
It was a minute before seven when Alex set up her laptop and turned on her workout playlist. It was a lot of dubstep, Nicki Minaj, and other up tempo music. She turned it up as loud as she dared, pulled her hair into a ponytail, and turned to go to wait by the door.  
  
There stood James, in her kitchen, placing something small and black on her kitchen table. She hadn’t heard the door open or even felt a draft. The first thing she noticed was that James was in clean clothes, the second was that he had shaved. Even with the long hair, there was no mistaking him for James Buchanan Barnes now. It was like he walked right out of a history book.  
  
“You…” she started and then remembered the bug. She started humming to cover up the words, which made James smile a little.  
  
“You can talk, the little box stops our voices from being picked up by the bugs. All they hear is your…whatever this is.” James said, wrinkling his nose as he walked over to her.  
  
“It’s music, and you shaved,” Alex said as she took in his new appearance. While it was hard to look away from his face, she focused on the rest of him. The black thermal and black cargo pants looked good on him. She also noticed the nuances of his appearance, like the knuckles on his flesh hand were scraped and bloody. He’d been in a fight recently.  
  
She looked away, feeling heat rise in her cheeks, and rubbed her forearms in an attempt to kill the nervous energy surging through her body. He was just a man. There was no reason that he should have more power over her than any other man. She looked over to see him crossing the room toward her.  
  
He had a lot more power over her than any other man.  
  
“Are you alright?” James put his hands on her shoulders as his eyes searched her for any sign of a scratch or cut. The cold of the metal and the warmth of his other hand sending electricity through her body. It was the most anxious he had ever seen him, his eyes darting around her body.  
  
“James, I’m fine.” Alex said as she brought a hand up and put it on top of the metal one. “A few bruises on my upper arm, but other than that I’m right as rain. How did you even know about that?”  
  
“I was shadowing you. I didn’t see what happened in the school, but when you came out and that man was following you. You and your friend seemed scared and I…” James shook his head, letting the sentence dangle between them. There were so many ways it could have ended, it could mean so many things, that Alex’s mind spun with the possibilities. His eyes moved down to her arm and looked at the imprints of fingers. Next to them were the older bruises that he had left in the alley. He closed his eyes and his fingers tightened ever so slightly on her shoulders.  
  
“You seem to have been in a fight. You didn’t run into Sam, did you?” Alex asked, the thought making her heart leap into her throat. Alex was sure Sam was completely capable, but she didn’t think he had a chance against James one on one.  
  
“No,” James said as he took his hands of her shoulders, “it was someone else.”  
  
“Good,” Alex said to mask her disappointment at the lack of contact. “The last time you two got into a fight, he bled all over my kitchen.”  
  
James, lip turned up in a smirk and he shook his head. Then he muttered something in Russian, reached out, and crushed her against his body. She could feel his heart hammering in his chest and wondered if it was because he had been worried about her, worried how she would react to the hug, or a different reason entirely. Had he been pacing the empty apartments, waiting to be able to jam the bugs and make sure that she was alright? Had he really been that worried about her?  
  
“I don’t know what you’re saying,” Alex confessed when he rested his head on top of hers and muttered more Russian. “But I promise that I’m fine.” She wrapped her arms around him and settled against his chest. He was warm and smelled like Irish Spring soap.  
  
James murmured something else in Russian and Alex reminded herself to invest in a Russian to English dictionary from the university book store. Not that she would be able to remember the exact words when she looked them up, but it might at least give her a clue. Whatever he said, it sounded like he was confessing how worried he’d been.  
  
“James,” Alex leaned away to look at him. “It was just a bit of a scare. I am perfectly alright. I’ve had worse in the last couple days.”  
  
“I know,” James’s voice was soft as he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear that had escaped her ponytail, looking pained. “But I couldn’t do anything. If something would have happened, I would have been too late to stop it.”  
  
“Luckily, you aren’t the only one looking out for me.” Alex was trying to keep her thoughts on the conversation, but his arms around her waist were distracting. It was also distracting that he was so warm and so close. The way he was looking at her, like she was something precious, wasn’t helping either.  
  
James opened his mouth to say something else, but instead his tongue flicked out and wet his lips. He looked down at her, his eyes focusing on her lips for a moment, before trailing back to her eyes. There was a question in them and Alex’s heart rate sped up to meet his. He wanted to kiss her, and God, did she want to kiss him. There was no confusion in his eyes, no hesitation in his body language. He wanted this and he had no doubt.  
  
“This isn’t a good idea.” Alex said as her heart hammered in her chest, hating the words as they tumbled out of her mouth. This was a man that was literally as likely to snap her neck as he was to kiss her. She should not get physically involved with him.  
  
She wanted him desperately.  
  
“Probably, but has that ever stopped you before?” James looked at her lips and pulled her more tightly against him.  
  
This was a very terrible idea.  
  
Alexandra curled her fingers into his shirt and kissed him hard against the lips, figuring that if she was going to die, she would die happy. She thought she would surprise James, but instead he surprised her by matching her intensity. The kiss almost hurt, it was so forceful and powerful, but Alex wasn’t going to complain.  
  
They broke apart as quickly as they came together, both dazed and breathing heavy. Alex was about to apologize, but the look on his face told her that there was no need. His pupils were dilated and his lips were slightly parted. Alex had seen that expression on a man’s face before, and usually it didn’t mean he wanted an apology. However, that expression had never done to her what James looking at her like that did.  
  
James brought his hand up, his fingers trailing softly against her cheek, before he leaned down to kiss her softly. This kiss was a bit more hesitant, as if he was scared she would come to her senses and pull away. Instead, she leaned into him and kissed him back. She could feel his lips this time, they were soft and slightly chapped.  
  
Alex was surprised that he was an excellent kisser, though a bit hesitant. For some reason she didn’t think that was one of his ever growing list of talents. His metal arm, which was still behind her back, moved so that it was holding onto her waist. After his initial intensity, it seemed like he was worried he was going to hurt her.  
  
While kissing James at all was wonderful, after wanting for this for days, the last thing she wanted was him to be hesitant and gentle. Alex decided that the best way to get rid of this fear was by ramping up the intensity. She sucked on his bottom lip and let her arms go around his neck. She pressed herself against him and his arm tightened around her. James moaned slightly, a sound that came from deep in his throat, and heat shot through Alex at the sound. She gasped into his mouth.  
  
“Did I hurt you?” James panted as he pulled away slightly.  
  
“James, if you hurt me, trust me, I will let you know. Until then…” Alex bit down on his bottom lip.  
  
James seemed to take that as a green light and his fingers dug into her hips. His tongue brushed against her bottom lip as his one hand moved to pull the ponytail out of her hair. When it was free, his fingers tangled in her hair. There was no space between them and they were almost breathing in unison.  
  
Alex moaned as James’s lips traveled from her lips to her neck. Her fingers dug into James’s back as his teeth nipped at the soft skin where her neck and shoulder met. He moved them both backward until Alex’s butt bumped against the back of the couch. His leg went between hers. Alex gasped at the contact, but it was welcome.  
  
They broke apart long enough for Alex to get his shirt up over his head. His dog tags thumped against his chest as Alex tossed the shirt onto the floor. The fingers of one hand curled around the chain while the other hand curled into his belt, pulling him toward her. His skin almost burnt her through the fabric of her tank top it was so hot. She could feel the set of dog tags she wore pressed into her skin.  
  
Their kisses slowed down at this point, become more sensual and exploratory. Both were trying to map every inch of the other. Alex’s fingers roamed across his back and down his spine, making him shiver against her. She felt his muscles as well as scars, mapping out his history on his skin. His hands were moving constantly, they were in her hair, on her waist, grabbing her ass, making sure she was real, there, with him.  
  
“Alexandra,” James said when they finally broke apart. He put his forehead against hers, breathing heavy, fingers tangled in her hair once again. His eyes were closed and he said her name as if it was a prayer.  
  
Usually, Alex would have complained about the use of her full name, but not the way he said it. His tongue caressed each letter, his voice was husky, and it made her knees weak. She never wanted him to stop saying her name; she wanted the sound of her name on his lips to be etched into her memory forever.  
  
She felt as if she should say something profound or do something. In a movie this is where she would confess that she loved him or have a touching monologue about what the past couple days meant to her. However, Alex had no idea if she loved James. Could you love someone when you knew next to nothing about them? Could they love you when they knew next to nothing about themselves? As for the past couple days, she had been hit repeatedly and feared for her life. Not exactly the best days of her life.  
  
“James,” she said simply, her fingers going through his hair. The corner of his mouth pulled up and Alex knew that he understood. Neither of them had any idea what they were doing, and at that moment, that was okay.  
  
“Still think that this isn’t a good idea?” He asked, then leaned in a kissed her softly.  
  
“This is a terrible idea,” Alex laughed as she kissed him back, “but as you pointed out, that has never stopped me before.”  
  
Alex guided James around the couch and pushed him down onto it. James seemed a little startled, but his eyes drank her in. She might not have been in a sexy dress with lace underwear, but James didn’t seem to give a damn.  
  
Alex straddled him and her lips found their way to his jaw. James moaned a little and shifted underneath her, letting her feel just how much he didn’t care that she wasn’t in a sexy outfit. As her lips trailed down his jaw to his neck, she was thankful that he shaved. Beards always irritated her skin.  
  
James said something in Russian as his hands found their way under Alex’s shirt. His metal hand had been warmed by her body heat so it wasn’t cold as it skimmed up her side and helped lift her shirt over her head. The air was cold against her skin and Alex shivered as her skin touched his. James pulled away and looked at her, his fingers brushing over the many bruises on her side before touching the tattoo that was above her right hip. It was of a fox sitting in front of a sunflower, two nicknames that she had picked up back home. The first from her father and the other from her mother.  
  
James said something that sounded like “lisa”, which Alex figured was Russian for fox since it was a bit short for sunflower. His eyes started roaming over her body again, Alex guessed that he was searching for the other two tattoos she mentioned. One was on the back of her right shoulder, which he might have seen since she had her back to him for a second, and the other was on her side, hidden by her bra strap.  
  
“You’re unbelievably beautiful,” James said as his eyes met hers. Alex felt herself blush, which she didn’t do often. Men had paid her compliments before, most of them while she was naked, but there was something about the way James said it and the way he was looking at her. He looked at her like she was the only star in the sky, like the sun after a month of rain, like the only flower in the desert.  
  
“I…ummm…” Alex felt terribly exposed and awkward. Did she say thank you? That didn’t seem right. God, what did she say? Usually she would just say something smart and go back to whatever she had been doing before.  
  
“You think I’m lying,” James said as he reached up and ran his fingers through her hair, something he seemed to enjoy doing immensely. Alex dipped her head, but James fingers found their way under her jaw and tilted it up so she had to look at him. His eyes were clear, blue, earnest. She had never seen such an honest expression in her life. Not even on Steve Roger’s face.  
  
“I don’t think you’re lying,” Alex said softly, her blush deepening. Her heart was hammering against her chest, not just out of lust, but because no one had ever looked at her the way James was looking at her. It wasn’t a look of lust.  
  
“Good.” James leaned forward and kissed her, softly, carefully.  
  
Alex felt tears well up in her eyes and she had no idea why. She wasn’t sad, she was as far from sad as someone could be, but they were there. Right then she was so overwhelmed that her body felt that crying was the only solution. Alex had no idea what to do with her emotions, so she did what she normally did. She ignored them.  
  
She leaned into James and kissed him back, focusing on his slightly chapped lips and the feeling of his heartbeat against her fingers as she placed her hands against his chest. There wasn’t desperation in the kisses anymore, they were slow and careful. They were both thinking about what they were doing, what it made them feel, what the other person was feeling. Breathing and heartbeats going at the same tempo.  
  
James fingers trailed slowly up her spine and ran underneath the strap of her bra. Alex shivered and pressed herself against him, chest to chest. James deepened the kiss and Alex parted her lips in return. His tongue found its way into her mouth as his fingers played with the bra clasp. That’s when her phone started going off.  
  
“Is that God Bless America?” James asked as he leaned away from her. His brow furrowed in confusion. It was barely audible over the music, but it was definitely going off.  
  
“I’m going to kill him,” Alex growled as she placed her head against James shoulder. Her phone continued to go off. Alex knew that if she didn’t answer it Steve would be busting down the door to make sure she was alright. Then she really would have trouble on her hands.  
  
She got off James lap and found her phone.  
  
“What?” Alex’s voice was hard and far from friendly.  
  
“Alex, is that you?” Steve was obviously confused by her short tone.  
  
“Who else would be answering my cell phone? What do you want, Steve?” Alex asked as she folded her arms. James got up to looking for his shirt, which had been thrown somewhere in the living room. Alex watched him move, his back an interesting compilation of scar and toned muscles. It was quite distracting, especially since she knew what his back felt like underneath her hands.  
  
“You almost got abducted this afternoon, why do you think I’m calling?” Steve snapped back. “Why are you breathless?”  
  
“I was working out. Did you find the guy?” Alex asked, turning away from James so that she could keep her train of thought. She didn’t think Steve would appreciate her panting while she was talking to him.  
  
“Yeah, funny thing happened. He was dropped off, bloody and unconscious, on the steps of Stark Tower. I think we both know who gave us that little present,” Alex could almost see his eyebrow raised as he said that statement.  
  
“Your favorite amnesiac and mine?” Alex felt James’s eyes on her at the end of that comment. She didn’t turn around.  
  
“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. We’ll talk then,” Steve said before he hung up.  
  
Alex sighed heavily as she threw her phone onto the coffee table. She looked up to see James looking at her, expression curious, eyes searching. Alex was once again struck by how attractive he was. It wasn’t fair. She looked away and went to grab her shirt instead.  
  
“Something wrong?” He asked.  
  
“Steve’s heading over to talk to me,” Alex said as she pulled her shirt back on. “And Clint’s going to wonder why he didn’t hear the conversation on the bugs.”  
  
“I’ll make myself scarce then,” James said as he ran his hand through his hair to tame it. “I probably shouldn’t be in the building when he gets here. He’s probably going to have the whole thing search top to bottom. Again.”  
  
“He’s nothing if not thorough. He also mentioned something about finding the thug unconscious on the steps of Stark Tower. That doesn’t have anything to do with your bloody knuckles, does it?” Alex asked as she leaned against the back of the couch.  
  
“He had information that I needed,” James said simply.  
  
Alex opened her mouth to say something, but then closed her lips and shook her head. She knew as soon as he came in that he’d been in a fight and she had ignored it. She figured she should have been happy that he hadn’t killed the man. That was progress, right? Still, it was worrying how little she cared that he’d beaten a man unconscious.  
  
“You should get out of here, Steve’s going to be here any minute.” Alex raked her hair back into a ponytail. There were a lot of emotions bouncing around in her and Alex didn’t have time to deal with any of them.  
  
“I’m glad that he’s looking out for you. I can’t be everywhere and until I can get rid of the Hydra threat, I don’t want you to be alone,” James said as they made their way to the kitchen. James picked up his jamming device and flipped the switch off, meaning that they couldn’t talk anymore. Alex figured that it is was the best way he had to keep her from making a smart comment.  
  
She held up her finger for him to wait and walked over to her cabinets. She pulled out some Tupperware and filled it with some leftover spaghetti. She grabbed a fork and handed both of them to James.  
  
James smiled down at her, a wide and honest smile, and shook his head. Then his eyes softened and he reached out, cupped her face, and kissed her lightly on the forehead. Alex closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. When she opened her eyes, the door was closed and James was gone.  
  
“Girl, you are a mess,” Alex sighed as she walked over and turned off her music. She then pulled the curtains open and waved to Clint. She heard her phone buzz and saw a text message on the lock screen. She ignored it as she went into her bedroom and changed into sweat pants and a large hoodie, not sure if James left any marks. By the time she was done, there was pounding on her door.  
  
“Calm down, super soldier,” Alex called as she hustled to the door. “I’m coming.”  
  
She opened to door and Steve came in without Alex inviting him. He didn’t look happy. She prayed that Clint bought her some alcohol during his shopping trip. She needed about three shots and a beer before Steve even opened his mouth.  
  
“Where is he?” Steve turned and glared at her. Alex almost asked who, but she didn’t think that it would go over well. Steve looked like he was on the edge of his own breakdown.  
  
“I don’t know.” It wasn’t a total lie. James said that he wasn’t going to be across the hall and she had no idea where else he would be. Alex just didn’t mention that no more than five minutes before he was standing where Steve was.  
  
“Do you think this is a game?” Steve walked over, grabbed Alex by the shoulders, and shook her. “A man tried to kidnap you today! If your friend hadn’t showed up we have no idea what would have happened to you! What if he had attacked you anyway? Do you not get what it going on?”  
  
“Steve, stop shaking me please,” Alex said calmly, though he was making her teeth chatter. “I’m not an Etch-A-Sketch. I won’t change the more you shake me.”  
  
“If you would have listened to what your lovely friend had to say when we were interrogating him, maybe you wouldn’t be so calm,” Steve said as he let go of her shoulders and rubbed her arms as a way of apology. Alex could tell that he was worried for her, which worried her more than anything else. Captain America worried is never a good sign.  
  
“I think we both need to sit down, have a beer, and you can explain things to me. Do we have time for that?” Alex asked, moving the fridge without waiting for Steve to answer her. Inside, there was a six pack of beer and Alex made a mental note to thank Clint. She doubted they were on Steve’s shopping list. She handed one to Steve and they walked over and flopped down on the couch. She tried not to think about her and James being half dressed on that couch moments before, how she could smell him on her skin. Could Steve?  
  
“You look exhausted,” Alex said as Steve joined her. He tilted back his head and sighed. There were bags under his eyes and every line of his body spoke of exhaustion.  
  
“If you ever tried to keep yourself safe, you’d know how exhausting it is.” Steve graced her with a tiny smile. “I’m also dealing with an organization that is trying to control the world, so it’s been a trying week.”  
  
Alex felt guilty, knowing that she had run down a super soldier with her lack of self-preservation. Steve had such a big heart that he was worried about this girl that he barely knew. It wasn’t just about finding James anymore, he truly cared about Alex staying safe. He probably also felt that, in a way, he was responsible for her being in this mess. If he had found James sooner, they never would have crossed paths.  
  
“What did the guy have to say?” Alex asked as she took a sip of her beer.  
  
“You mean after Doctor Banner woke him up and patched him up?” Steve said giving Alex a look. “The short explanation is that Hydra thinks you have an alien artifact that is helping you control the Winter Solider. They want you and they want him.”  
  
“They told all of this to a thug? Isn’t that like bad guy 101, don’t tell the lower level cretins you hire all your evil plans?” Alex joked to hide the fact that she was terrified. Hydra wanted her, they thought she was the puppet master behind an assassin. As if anything could be further from the truth.  
  
“He didn’t tell us all that, he didn’t even know who hired him. We have other agents in the city and they’ve been busy. They uncovered a small Hydra cell working in the city, but where and who is in it is still a mystery. What we do know is that they want that artifact badly and they think you have it,” Steve downed almost his entire beer in one gulp.  
  
“So the artifact has some form of mind control?” Alex asked as she folded her legs underneath herself. All of this was way above her pay grade, but if she was going to get kidnapped and killed, she wanted to know what for.  
  
“I wish I knew, but some sort of mind control is our best guess.” Steve said as he tipped his head back again to look at the ceiling. “I really hate mind control.”  
  
“Most people do.” Alex chugged the rest of her beer. Once again, she was in the world of aliens and superheroes and had no idea what to do. That on top of normal college stress and the fact that she just made out with a man who didn’t even know who he was five days ago. Her life was out of control and it frightened her.  
  
Another part of her liked the rush.  
  
“So, what are we going to do?” Alex asked after they had sat there for a few moments in silence.  
  
“We aren’t going to do anything,” Steve said then finished his beer. “I’m going to do what’s necessary.”  
  
“So, just another day in the neighborhood for Mr. Rogers?” Alex gave him a small smile. “I can’t say I envy your life.”  
  
“And yet you run around getting yourself into all sorts of trouble. You’re just like me as a kid,” Steve said with an answering smile.  
  
“You’re technically only like ten years older than I am, so don’t start with that whole ‘when I was your age’ bullshit,” Alex laughed.  
  
“True, but it was over seventy years ago, so show me a bit of respect,” Steve chuckled.  
  
“I have nothing but respect for you, Steve,” Alex said seriously, looking down at her hands. “Even if I am terrified of everything that’s happening, even if I get on your nerves and you wish that you’d never met me, I’m glad you’re looking out for me. I’m really glad I got to meet you.”  
  
“I’m glad I got to meet you too.” Steve smiled at her and blushed slightly. “Even though you are giving me gray hair.”  
  
“You shouldn’t feel special, I do that to most people who have met me,” Alex joked. It had been one of her mother’s favorite phrases when Alex was growing up. They sat there quietly for a few minutes, both wrapped up in their own thoughts. Steve’s phone started to ring and he pulled it out.  
  
“You got anything, Hill?” Steve said as a way of answering the phone. He continued to have a phone conversation that made no sense to Alex and started to grate on her nerves. No one liked hearing only one side of a conversation. Alex took the empty cans and made her way into the kitchen. She pulled out another Tupperware container and filled it with the rest of her leftover spaghetti. She popped it into the microwave and pulled out another fork.  
  
“Hey, I have to get going. We got a lead on the Hydra cell,” Steve said as he joined her in the kitchen.  
  
“Can you spare another minute, I’ll give you some food for the road. You don’t look like you’ve slept much, which means you probably aren’t eating either,” Alex said as she leaned against the counter.  
  
“You do have a maternal streak in you, don’t you? I have to wait for my ride, so I can take some food.”  
  
The microwave dinged and Alex pulled out the container, put a lid on it, and handed it to him. It wasn’t lost on Alex that this was a fifties housewife thing to do, though a fifties housewife would have made everything from scratch. It also wasn’t lost on her that she was replaying saying goodbye to James. She hoped Steve didn’t try to kiss her, she’d probably explode.  
  
“Thanks, I’ll eat it in the car,” Steve said with a smile as he took the hot container. They both walked to the door and Alex rocked back on her heels. She wanted to give him a hug, but wasn’t exactly sure if that was allowed.  
  
“Alex, please listen to me,” Steve said as he put his hand on his shoulder again. “Once I leave, you lock the door and you don’t leave this apartment. Can you do that for me? You don’t go anywhere without either Clint or Sam. If James gets in contact with you, you tell us. Can you do that for me? Please?” Steve leaned down so that he was looking Alex right in the eye.  
  
“I won’t leave the apartment without a chaperon, I promise you.” Alex said meeting his gaze. Steve waited for her to continue, to promise to turn James in, but Alex didn’t say anything.  
  
Steve sighed and shook his head. He squeezed her shoulder before letting go and straightening up.  
  
“Steve, please listen to me,” Alex said as he started out the door. “Be careful.”  
  
“I’ll try,” Steve said with a small smiled before he disappeared down the hallway. Alex closed, locked, and bolted the door.  
  
Her phone started to ring and Alex ran over to grab it.  
  
“Hey, thanks for the beer,” she said as a way of hello to Clint.  
  
“With the week you’ve been having, I considered buying you an entire liquor store, but Steve vetoed that idea. I just wanted to let you know that I heard your little promise to Steve and I’m going to be heading out with you tomorrow. Someone else will watch the apartment while we’re gone,” Clint explained.  
  
“I just have class and the night shift at work so you can chill at the counter. You might get some funny looks, but Mrs. Malone shouldn’t mind as long as you buy something.” Alex said as she moved into the bedroom and started getting ready for bed. She realized that she probably didn’t need to change her clothes, but she was burning up in the sweat pants and a sweater.  
  
“Sounds like a plan, you running tomorrow?” Clint asked, she could hear him opening a bag of something, probably chips, in the background. Apparently he went food shopping for himself as well.  
  
“I don’t know, is that on the list of approved activities?” Alex asked as she dug through her drawers. She really needed to do laundry.  
  
“Sam will be waiting outside your door at five-thirty. He’s all about that jogging nonsense,” Clint said as he continued to munch away.  
  
“Didn’t you offer to train me a couple days ago?” Alex laughed as she finally found a clean pair of shorts and a ratty t-shirt.  
  
“A moment of insanity,” Clint laughed. “I like jogging about as much as I like stakeouts.”  
  
“Didn’t you say you liked this assignment a couple days ago?”  
  
“I did, before you kept almost getting killed and Steve kept chewing me out. Now, that month in the desert is preferable to listening to your music and wondering how you are going to almost die today,” Clint sighed.  
  
“Well, I have completely signed on to the house arrest model, so you don’t have to worry about that any longer.” Alex said goodnight, finished dressing and headed for the living room. She only had one more article to read before she was completely caught up on assignments. Alex was too keyed up to sleep anyway.  
  
Alex poured herself a glass of milk, grabbed a sleeve of cookies from the cabinet, and settled down on the couch. While she attempted to concentrate on a thrilling article about early Japanese pottery, she couldn’t stop picturing James, half naked. Then her mind turned to when he had only had a towel on. She now had a good idea of just how big what was covered by the towel was, which didn’t help her concentration. She thought about his hands, one warm and one cool, skimming across her skin. His lips traveling from her lips to her jaw to behind her ear.  
  
What would have happened if Steve hadn’t have called when he did? Would they have had sex? Was that a good idea with a man who still wasn’t completely stable mentally? Was it even a good idea to get romantically involved with him?  
  
“Well, that ship has sailed, Alexandra,” She said to herself as she slid down on the couch and covered her face with the article. “Get your shit together.”  
  
Then Alex remembered that Clint could hear her. He probably was laughing and trying to figure out what she was groaning about. Maybe he would text her about it. Maybe he bought batteries. If Alex needed something, it was to relieve some stress. While she could do that manually, it was nice to have a machine do all the work. Alex reached for her phone to ask him.  
  
A scream, loud and terrified, ripped through the building. Alex froze, her heart slamming into her throat. Then she was running for the hallway before she realized what she was doing, locked door hastily opened. Her phone started to ring, but Alex was already out of the door.  
  
The scream came again, gurgling and full of pain. It was coming from a few floors down.  
  
Alex flew down the stairs, missing a few and slamming to the wall. Her wrist injury flared with pain, but she ignored it as a weaker scream echoed down the hallway. Alex rounded the corner and took a deep breath. Laying on the floor was the woman who lost her cat, blood soaking through her t-shirt at an alarming rate. Alex froze for a moment, too shocked by the scene to do anything. Then she ran over and dropped to her knees.  
  
“Oh God, oh God,” Alex said as she pressed her hands onto the wound in the women’s chest. A little Asian woman poked her head out of her apartment door.  
  
“Call 9-1-1 right now,” Alex called as the blood seeped through her fingers. It was warm and Alex could feel the cat ladies heart beating erratically underneath her hands. Her breath was barely coming out in small, shallow, gasps.  
  
“Come on, please don’t die,” Alex said softly as she pressed her hands harder onto the wound. However, the heartbeat was barely there and the gasping was almost non-existent. She was fading quickly.  
  
Alex heard footsteps coming up behind her and she figured it was another neighbor coming to help. Alex turned to ask them to get her some towels to stem the bleeding, but all she saw was a taser being pressed into her shoulder.  
  
That was the last thing she saw.


	12. Chapter 12

There was someone talking in hushed tones somewhere in the room. Alex’s head was pounding and she wanted to scream shut up at whoever was talking. However, her mouth felt fuzzy and it didn’t want to work. Alex was not a stranger to hangovers and this felt like having the worst hang over imaginable mixed with the flu. Nothing wanted to work, everything hurt, and her whole body felt heavy.  
  
“Shit,” Alex finally got out, lifting her head. The whole room spun and Alex closed her eyes to make it stop. That’s when Alex remembered the taser being pressed to her arm and the woman bleeding to death underneath her fingers. Heartbeat weak and fluttering.  
  
“Oh fuck,” Alex sighed as she opened her eyes again. The room spun again, but this time she kept her eyes open long enough for the room to settle. It was a large warehouse filled with wooden boxes of some sort, and there was a metal desk to her right set up with computer equipment. There were shadows moving out in the warehouse, flitting between the boxes, but she couldn’t see who they were.  
  
The bugs should have picked up the scream, which meant that Clint knew something happened in the apartment building. He also would have either seen or heard her scrambling out of the apartment. It wouldn’t have taken him long to get over to her building, so how did whoever this was get her out of the building? Either way, Clint, Steve, and Sam would all be looking for her. That was a comforting thought.  
  
Alex attempted to roll her shoulders, but couldn’t, her arms were tied behind her back. Her legs were also tied to the legs of the metal chair that she was sitting in. When she stopped focusing on the pounding in her head, she realized that her ass was asleep, as was her right foot. No matter how much she pulled, the cord binding her barely gave.  
  
“Ah, our little princess is awake,” a thickly accented voice said behind Alex’s head. She turned her head, which caused the room to spin, again, as a medium built man entered her field of vision.  
  
“Was I made royalty when I was unconscious? Do I get a castle?” Alex tilted her head back to look up at him. He was as nondescript as a person could be, she could barely describe him while she was looking at him. Brown hair, tan skin, black eyes, no distinguishing features, and all black clothes.  
  
“What is it with Americans and their need to make smart comments?” a less accented female voice asked. “If they were more polite, maybe the rest of the world wouldn’t hate them.”  
  
“Haven’t you heard? We’re demons that feed on hatred.” Alex was surprised that she was calm enough to be sarcastic. “Should I even ask why I’m here or are you just going to do the whole intimidation thing?” She figured her brain was still fried from the taser. That, or, she had been through so much danger she just couldn’t get herself worked up about it anymore. Or, even worse, she was getting used to her life being in constant danger.  
  
“We want the artifact and we want the Winter Solider, you turn those over and we let you go,” the female finally came into Alex’s field of vision. She was tall, blonde, and had a scar running down her right cheek. She was attractive in a dominatrix type of way. Intimidating as all hell.  
  
“I don’t have either,” Alex sighed. “Can I go now?”  
  
She didn’t see which one of them hit her, but one of them slapped her hard on the right cheek. The world started to spin again and her ears started to ring.  
  
“I guess that’s a no,” Alex shook her head and attempted to regain her equilibrium.  
  
“Smart girl, now let’s start from the beginning. Where did you find the alien artifact?” The man asked while the female walked over and started typing away on the computer.  
  
“Let me start from the beginning, I don’t have any alien artifact. I didn’t even know there was an alien artifact until a day or two ago. The last alien I saw was during the Battle of New York, unless you count blurry pictures of Thor on the news,” Alex’s words and breathing were rapid. The seriousness of the situation was finally reaching her nervous system. The chances of her walking out of this alive were nowhere near as high as she’d like them to be.  
  
“I don’t want to hurt you, my dear,” the man said as he squatted down in front of her. “You’re a pretty girl and I don’t think you have any idea what you’ve gotten yourself into. If you tell us where the artifact is, we can clean this up for you. You go back to your simple little life.”  
  
“You think I’m pretty?” Alex batted her eyelashes at him. The female snorted as she continued to type on the computer. The man just stared at Alex, his indistinguishable features not giving away any emotion.  
  
“Where is the bracelet?” The man asked, voice even.  
  
“So, it’s a bracelet? That would explain why you can’t find it, finding one bracelet in all of New York City can’t be easy. Does it give off a signal or something you are tracking?” Alex asked. The filter between her mouth and her brain apparently has been completely turned off. Whatever she thought, it was coming out, and it wasn’t helping her cause. She snapped her jaw closed and took a deep breath.  
  
“She is smart, Jonas. Don’t let the blonde hair fool you. Valedictorian of her high school class and Biochemistry is not an easy field. Be careful with what you say,” the female said as she walked over, her arms folded over her chest. “Though she apparently isn’t that smart to think she can lie to us.”  
  
“How do you know so much about me?” Alex attempted not to seem completely freaked out that Mr. and Mrs. Smith seemed to know everything about her, but she was. They had been digging into her past, looking at her family. They knew everything, what if they started targeting them? Jake, her mother and father, what if she had gotten them all killed?  
  
“The boss wanted to know what type of girl could get an unparalleled assassin wrapped around her finger,” Jonas said as he stood. “And while you are smart, you aren’t remarkable, which means that you have to have the bracelet.”  
  
“The Winter Solider was programmed to complete missions and nothing else. Even if she was remarkable it wouldn’t matter. He isn’t a man, he’s a machine, which means that without a handler, he would be a loose cannon. He would not play house with a small blonde child.” The female corrected as she looked Alex up and down. “Where is that bracelet?”  
  
“And here I thought we were starting to bond, woman to woman.” Alex pouted up at her. The woman smiled down at her for a moment before she lashed out, smacking Alex again.  
  
“Now,” she said with a dazzling white smile, “where is the bracelet? It isn’t in your apartment, the S.H.I.E.L.D agents would have taken it from you already. It also isn’t on you or you would have called your assassin by now. So, where did you hide it? Is it at the college?”  
  
“You seem to know so much about me, you tell me,” Alex snapped.  
  
That got her another smack across her face. Alex felt her lip split open and tasted the blood against her tongue. She was going to have an impressive bruise across the side of her face, to match the one healing on her other cheek. She was going to have to buy more concealer. Maybe she should just buy stock in Maybelline and save herself the trouble. That is, if she got out of this mess alive.  
  
“Right now, we are being nice to you, but we do not have time to play games. We know that S.H.I.E.L.D had you under surveillance. You are an important asset and they are going to track you down.” Jonas reached behind his back and pulled out a knife.  
  
“Cutting me up isn’t going to change my answer,” Alex attempted to loosen the bindings on her wrist. It was a thin cord cut painfully into her wrist. They were probably already red and raw. Just another injury to add to her growing list.  
  
“They all say that, but a little pain changes a lot of people’s answers. So, from the top,” Jonas placed the knife against her shoulder, “where is the bracelet?”  
  
“I don’t know anything about a bracelet, I swear to whatever God you want that I have never seen an alien bracelet.” Alex attempted to lean away from the knife, but the metal back of the chair didn’t give at all. The knife cut was quick, but it still stung like a bitch. Warm blood trickled down her arm, warm against the goosebumps on her skin. It made her skin crawl.  
  
“Cut the face next time, I’m sure she values her looks a bit more than her shoulder.” The woman said, her fingers brushing against the scar on her own cheek. “Maybe her lip or her ear.”  
  
“What is it going to take to make you believe me?” Alex was shaking because she knew that there was nothing that she could do. Even if she lied about the bracelet, they would kill her or wait until they realized that she was lying and then kill her. Maybe if she lied it would give her enough time for Steve and company to find her.  
  
“Let’s go about this a different way, how did you come in contact with the Winter Solider?” Jonas placed the blade of the knife at the top of her lip.  
  
“I was walking home at night and I was attacked. It was a dark alley and Ja- the Winter Solider came out of nowhere and saved me. That was our first contact,” Alex could barely speak, each time her lips moved the knife poked into her skin.  
  
“You want me to believe that he just swooped in out of nowhere to save you?” Jonas applied a little more pressure to the knife and Alex felt it break the skin.  
  
“He had regained some of his memories, he thought I was someone else. He got confused and ran off after that. He’s been popping in and out ever since, looking for answers I don’t have.” Alex spoke quickly, the knife making a larger cut against her lip. The blood trickled down into her mouth, and along with the split lip, made everything taste like salt.  
  
“And you just gave him clothes and food, took him to his old neighborhood?” The woman asked.  
  
“He really didn’t give me much of a choice.” It wasn’t a total lie, Alex didn’t have a choice in helping James, but that was personal reasons not because James was violent. “Would you say no to him?”  
  
Jonas pulled the knife away and Alex took a shaky deep breath. There was a little nick on her lip, but she doubted it would scar. Jonas asked the female something in a different language. Alex guessed it was German, but she couldn’t be sure. It wasn’t what James had been speaking, she could tell that much.  
  
“I am inclined to believe you,” Jonas said as he turned to face Alex. “However, Nadia still thinks you’re lying. Is there a side of your face that you prefer? Or is there an ear that you aren’t overly fond of?”  
  
“Go fuck yourself,” Alex snapped as she started to shake and tears finally escaped. The cut on her shoulder hurt, she could only image what a deep cut down her cheek would feel like. Alex started to struggle against the bindings, but they didn’t give at all.  
  
A door opened somewhere in the building and all of them froze. The woman disappeared into the shadows and Jonas put the knife against Alex’s throat to keep her silent. Alex attempted to stop shaking, worried that the blade would cut her if she moved too much, but between the cold and fear it was impossible.  
  
“Jonas, that isn’t necessary,” A new voice called across the warehouse. “She can’t tell us anything if you cut her throat. Drop the knife and come over here.”  
  
Jonas pulled the knife away from Alex’s neck quickly and did a weird two arm salute to the voice. Then he disappeared behind Alex and a conversation started, but Alex couldn’t make it out what they were saying. She continued to work against the bindings, but they were so tight that all it did was put her in more pain. However, the blood that was running down her right shoulder gave her a little lubrication to twist her wrist more. In the end, it just let the cord cut further into her skin.  
  
“I’d stop that if I was you,” Jonas called and Alex stopped moving. She heard the group walk toward her and she started to shake again. Now there were three of them and she had no way to convince them that she didn’t have an alien artifact or that she wasn’t controlling James. They were going to slit her throat and dump her in the river.  
  
“I was just about to start pulling out her earrings, one by one,” Jonas said.  
  
Alex felt like she was going to throw up. It hurt enough when her hair got caught in her earrings, having one ripped out was a pain she couldn’t imagine.  
  
“There is no need to threaten her, Jonas.” The other male voice said. She took a deep breath and prayed that one of the superheroes she knew would swoop in and save the day. Alex was self-sufficient, but she couldn’t save herself this time.  
  
“Sir, she hasn’t told us anything. We are going to have to do something with her soon and move on. It’s only a matter of time before they find this place,” Nadia said softly.  
  
“Give me a few minutes with her,” the new voice said. “Start packing up and get ready for departure.  
  
That they were going to ‘do something with her’ was a phrase Alex didn’t want to hear. Their hospitality had left a lot to be desired and she doubted that they were just going to let her walk away. The only option she probably had was whether it was going to be quick and painless or long, drawn out, and messy.  
  
“Are you cold?” a warm hand was placed on Alex’s shoulder, making her flinch, and aggravating her wound. This voice didn’t have an accents and it was almost friendly.  
  
“I’m in a ratty t-shirt and shorts in a thirty degree warehouse in the middle of the night. What do you think?” Alex’s tone was as surly as his was friendly.  
  
“Jonas, why is she bleeding?” The man asked, wiping the blood off his hands on his jeans. “Was she injured during extraction?”  
  
Alex looked over the newcomer and was surprised at what she saw. He was tall, well-built, good looking, brown eyes, with black hair and a five o’clock shadow. If it was a different situation, like they were in a coffee shop, she would think he was attractive in a bad boy sort of way. As it was, it was eerie to see someone who seemed so normal in charge of this operation.  
  
“We were attempting to persuade to give us some information,” Jonas said as he came around the chair, looking very nervous. The new man, who was apparently the boss, nodded and reached into his jacket. His hand came out and with lightning speed slashed out at Jonas. Blood splattered against the warehouse floor and Jonas grabbed his arm.  
  
“When I say don’t hurt someone, I mean it. Now, you have a job to do, go do this one correctly,” The new man wiped the blade on his jeans.  
  
Alex felt her blood go cold. For his attractive face and friendly demure, he just slashed his own subordinate open. What was he going to do to her if she didn’t tell him what he wanted to hear? The thought made her heart almost stop.  
  
“I’m sorry about all this,” the man said as he shrugged out of his leather jacket and placed it around her shoulders. “The rough handling was not my idea. You are a hard woman to talk to though and I had to take drastic measures.”  
  
“Most people make an attempt at a civilized conversation, minus a taser and dying woman, before they say that. What did that woman even do to deserve being stabbed in the chest?” Alex wanted to smack herself. It would probably be best not to be sarcastic when her life was in danger.  
  
“Most people aren’t watched by Captain America, the Falcon, and Hawkeye all day, not to mention the Winter Solider appearing now and again, but you aren’t wrong. As for the woman, she was just a poor college student that agreed to watch you for a hundred dollars a day. She finally figured out that we weren’t the FBI and was about to call the police. We couldn’t let that happen and her death created the distraction needed to get you out of the apartment.” He talked as if they were discussing the weather. As if the loss of that women’s life was as inconsequential as that of an ant. The man walked over to the computer desk, grabbed the metal chair, and set it down in front of her. He spun it so that the back was to her and straddled the chair.  
  
“You don’t look like the leader of an evil organization cell,” Alex said, not sure what else to say. The more he talked the less he was hurting her.  
  
“Were you expecting a curled moustache and a monocle?” He folded his arm over the back of the hair and rested his chin on his arms.  
  
“I was expecting someone whose pants weren’t so tight,” Alex tried to free her wrists again, but all she managed to do was make them bleed. “Do you have a name? Or should I refer to you as Captain Tightpants, because I’m sure as hell not going to call you sir or boss.”  
  
“You can call me Grant, since it’s my name,” he said with a smile, “and my pants aren’t that tight.”  
  
Alex raised an eyebrow, looked at his pants, and just rolled her eyes. Grant smirked at that, but didn’t say anything. Alex could feel him studying her, trying to figure out the best way to break her. She wanted to tell him that she would have broken already if she had any information to give them. A knife against her face would have been the end of it. She had no delusions of being brave or a hero.  
  
“Grant, I don’t have any information for you,” Alex said, looking him right in the eyes. “I have fallen into this nonsense and have no idea what is going on. I don’t know anything about an alien artifact or where the Winter Solider is. You can cut me into little pieces and that wouldn’t change anything.”  
  
“I believe you,” Grant said. Alex’s mouth fell open and closed it quickly. She adjusted herself in her seat and attempted to figure out what to say to that.  
  
“So, why the hell am I still here?” Alex finally asked.  
  
“You’re bait,” Grant said as he got to his feet and kicked the chair away. “Either the Winter Solider or Captain America is going to come and find you. Both are a liability to Hydra and have to be eliminated.”  
  
“And after that, I have to eliminated,” Alex’s voice shook. All this time Steve and James had been worried about getting Alex killed, they had never worried about themselves. Now, she was going to get one or both of them killed if they tried to save her. She almost hoped that Grant killed her after that because she wouldn’t be able to face herself in the mirror.  
  
“We’ll see, we might still have some use for you,” Grant shrugged and turned his attention to something behind Alex. “Is everything taken care of?”  
  
“Yes, Sir, we’re ready to move. What do you want me to do with her?” Jonas asked.  
  
“Cut her leg bindings and bring her with us. We don’t want her going up in smoke with the rest of them,” Grant he took his coat off of Alex’s shoulders. He threw it over his arm and walked over to the computer, where the female agent was still typing away. Jonas rounded the chair, knelt down in front of her, and cut the cords on her ankles. The feeling of blood rushing back into her feet hurt. She had a vision of her kicking him hard in the face.  
  
“I can’t stand up,” Alex hissed as Jonas tugged at her injured arm, which were still bound behind her. “I can’t feel my feet.”  
  
“We don’t have time for you to be dramatic,” Jonas growled as he pulled her out of the chair. Alex screamed in pain and went down on her knees as soon as her full weight went onto her feet. Between the blood rushing into her feet and the new scrapes on her knees Alex’s whole body was in pain. She wondered if this was what a piñata felt like right before it finally broke.  
  
“Jonas, you’ve had her tied up for five hours, give her a minute. Go check the charges, I’ll take care of her,” Grant said as he came over. He threw the jacket over her shoulders again, got a hold of her waist, and lifted her slowly to her feet. It still hurt, but with Grant supporting most of her weight she stayed upright.  
  
“You are a very complicated man, Grant,” Alex said they started hobbling toward the back of the warehouse. “If you weren’t part of an evil organization, I might even like you.”  
  
“Have you ever thought that we aren’t the bad guys?” Grant asked as they made their way around a bunch of crates. “That everything that S.H.E.I.L.D. is telling you isn’t the truth?”  
  
“They haven’t kidnapped me, even though they are also looking for the Winter Solider. So, it’s a lovely story, but actions speak louder than words, Grant,” Alex said between clenched teeth.  
  
As they walked through the warehouse Alex realized that there were quite a few people in there. She hadn’t heard them, but men and woman dressed in all black were flitting about the crates. Some of them were setting timers on what looked like playdough, but Alex figured it was explosives. There had to be at least twenty people in the warehouse.  
  
“There hasn’t been any sign of them,” Nadia said as she appeared out of the shadows. “Shouldn’t we leave her here? All the loose ends tied up at one time.”  
  
“She can be useful for a while longer. Tell the patrols to keep their eyes peeled, they will be here soon. Agent Barton isn’t going to be happy that his charge has gone missing. He might call in the Black Widow.”  
  
As soon as the words were out of his mouth there was the sound of glass breaking followed by a whistle. Nadia spun to the side, an arrow poking out of her shoulder. Grant pushed Alex to the ground and went for his gun. Then all hell broke loose. Gun shots echoed around the building, glass breaking, shouts in a number of languages, and screaming.  
  
Hands grabbed onto Alex and dragged her behind a pillar. Grant put himself between Alex and the chaos in the middle of the warehouse. Nadia was still alive and ripping the arrow out of her shoulder, not looking pleased, but not looking as bad as most people who were just shot with an arrow would look. She had a gun in her hand and appeared more than ready to use it.  
  
“Sir, we have to get you out of here. If S.H.I.E.L.D gets you again, they won’t be lenient,” she screamed over the noise. Alex’s head spun, they had Grant before and let him go? How in the hell did that happen?  
  
The sound of something smashing against a metal door came over the sound of gunshots, something large and something angry. It wasn’t Hulk large, who probably would have ripped the warehouse apart like a sardine can, so Alex figured that it was Steve with his shield.  
  
“I told you we should’ve moved earlier,” Jonas said as he made his way over to them.  
  
“I thought we would have another half-hour. They must have been very motivated to find her,” Grant said as he looked around the pillar. The sound of the metal doors smashing open echoed through the warehouse.  
  
“We move as a unit and we go out the back. Jonas, you take point. Set the charges and get everyone out that we can,” Grant ordered.  
  
Alex could barely concentrate with all the noise on top of the headache that she had from when she was unconscious. It made it so that she could barely focus her eyes. She was shaking all over, blood still oozing down her shoulder, and still could barely feel her feet. She was starting to be able to feel the cold concrete against her skin, but that was about it.  
  
Grant grabbed Alex’s elbow, yanked her to her feet, and started dragging her along with him. Jonas moved in front of them, keeping himself low, and always keeping his head turning from side to side. Alex fell down again, Grant dragged her for a few seconds until she could get onto her feet again.  
  
The noise was less oppressing in the back of the warehouse and Alex could at least get her thoughts in order. Most of those thoughts consisted of four letter words and screaming in pain. This thought pattern, swear words and pain, seemed to have become a regular thing for her over the week. She didn’t like it.  
  
Jonas moved along the back wall and pushed open a door that Alex hadn’t even seen. They all moved through the door, but there was a man just on the other side. He smiled as they walked out.  
  
“Hey,” Sam said before landing an uppercut to Jonas. Jonas fell backward and Sam lunged for his gun. Grant raised his, pointed at Sam’s chest. Alex threw herself sideways and knocked them both onto the ground. A hand grabbed into Alex’s hair and threw her back into the warehouse. Alex landed against the crates and saw Nadia head out the door after Sam. Alex struggled to her feet, now having completely regained feeling in her legs.  
  
“This way, now,” Grant appeared out of nowhere and pulled her through the warehouse. There were bodies all over the floor, some just hit, others obviously dead. Grant kept his hand on the back of Alex’s neck to keep her head down as they hustled through the warehouse. For being a member of Hydra, Alex had to admit he was committed to keeping her alive. She appreciated it, but knew it wasn’t out of the goodness of his heart.  
  
“Alex!” She turned her head to see Steve standing in the center of the warehouse. A Hydra agent came out of nowhere and shot at Steve. He used his shield to block the shot and Grant took the diversion to drag them both into a side office.  
  
“You asked for them, you got them,” Alex panted as Grant let go of her.  
  
“Yeah, well, unless we get out of this warehouse in the next fifteen minutes we are all going to be blown to pieces. So, less talking, keep your head down, and follow me.” Grant said as he led her out of the second door that lead back into the main floor of the warehouse. A lot of the firing had ended, but there were still gunshots popping here and there.  
  
Then there was a shield slicing in front of her face. Grant threw her onto the floor, raised his gun, and got a shot a few rounds at Steve before Steve was on top of them. Alex rolled out of the way and Steve kicked the gun out of Grant’s hand. They bobbed and weaved around one another, but Grant could tell that he was outmatched.  
  
Alex got to her feet and looked around. There was still a lot of chaos and she couldn’t focus. There were a lot people in black outfits, but most weren’t moving. However, she couldn’t see Sam and Steve was still following Grant. Alex finally focused on the front door, which had been smashed open. She started running toward it, but it was hard to keep her balance with her arms still behind her back.  
  
Jonas came out of nowhere and tackled her to the ground. Alex kicked him hard in the stomach and scrambled backward. Jonas had his knife out, gun lost battling Sam, and raised it. He lunged for her and Alex didn’t have her hands to defend herself. She spun away, but Jonas saw that and moved to compensate.  
  
Blood splattered all over Alex’s face as a bullet pierced through Jonas’s body. Alex fell back against a stack of crates as Jonas fell down at her feet, dead. His eyes still open and staring at her. Suddenly, everything was quiet, like someone muted a television.  
  
“Alex!” Steve screamed, his voice bouncing around the warehouse.  
  
“Here,” Alex’s voice was thin as her knees gave out underneath her again. She couldn’t pull her eyes away from Jonas’s, they were still staring right at her. In death, his features were distinguishable, his eyes wide and the irises flecked with light brown. He looked so much younger.  
  
“Alexandra!” Steve called again, his voice loud and worried.  
  
“She’s over here Cap,” Sam called as he made his way across the warehouse. “She’s alright. I think.”  
  
Alex was shaking, but she couldn’t feel the cold. She couldn’t feel the cut on her shoulder, or the one of her lip, or any other injury she might have gotten. Jonas continued to stare at her, a blood pool forming underneath his head. Slowly spreading across the floor toward her. Someone touched her and she flinched away, stumbled to her side.  
  
“It’s just me, Alex. Are you hurt?” Steve asked, but all Alex could see was Jonas. First the cat lady and now Jonas. She had never seen a dead body before that night. She didn’t think they would look like this, like wax figures.  
  
“Alexandra,” Steve put himself between her and Jonas. He put both of his hands on her shoulders, which caused her to wince.  
  
It was either the pain or the broken eye contact that brought Alex back to reality. The sound seemed to turn back on and she heard all the ambient noise that was muted moments before.  
  
“The warehouse is rigged to explode, there are bombs. We have to go,” Alex said as Steve lifted up Grant’s leather jacket that was still around her shoulders and looked at her wound. His face contoured to fury when he saw it, but then he started to poke at it to see the damage. Alex hissed and moved away from his touch.  
  
“We had fifteen minutes when I was with Grant, so ten now. We have to go,” Alex said, though she didn’t move. Alex knew the only thing that was keeping her on her feet was the crates against her back. Her knees felt like Jell-O.  
  
“Are you sure?” Sam asked and Alex just looked at him. “Alright, dumb question.”  
  
“Clint, we need a pick up.” Steve said into his ear piece. “The warehouse is wired to blow. Call local police and the fire department.”  
  
“I guess that’s our cue to go,” Sam looked around at all the Hydra agents either dead or wounded on the floor. “I’m going to check to see if any of their agents are alive. They might be able to tell us something.”  
  
“Alex, head outside and Clint will pick you up and get you out of here.” Steve said.  
  
“I don’t think I can,” Alex said finally looking Steve in the eyes. “I don’t think I can walk.”  
  
He looked at her with light blue eyes that were so sad it made Alex’s heart hurt. He felt responsible for exposing her to this. Sad that he showed her this world, that she had to see this ugliness. Alex wanted to tell him that it was alright, that it was her choice, that it wasn’t his fault, and that she was happy to have met him, but she couldn’t. She was too emotionally overwhelmed to comfort someone else.  
  
“Sam, I’m taking Alex outside and then I’ll be back to take out the survivors.” Steve picked up Alex as if she was a paper doll. “Do we have an exact time on the bombs?”  
  
“Eleven minutes and twenty seven seconds, so be quick,” Sam called as he knelt down next to a body and checked the pulse.  
  
Steve moved quickly toward the front door, not exactly running, but taking large strides. It hurt to have her shoulder bounce against chest, but she didn’t complain. She didn’t have the energy to complain.  
  
“Shit, is she okay?” Clint slid out of an SUV when he saw them.  
  
“Take her and get a safe distance away. Me and Sam will take care of the clean up here,” Steve said as he transfer Alex into Clint’s waiting arms. She was starting to feel like a sack of potatoes, but she was too weary to make a comment. Her bones ached, she was so tired and it was hard to keep her eyes open.  
  
“What the hell happened in there?” Clint asked Alex as he placed her in the back seat. “Why are your arms still bound?”  
  
“They didn’t have time, there are so many bodies in there and some of them are still alive. The bombs are going to go off in nine minutes or so and they want to those alive out,” Alex felt as if she was a robot, programmed to respond, but it didn’t make any sense to her. The last couple hours just didn’t make sense.  
  
“Well, let’s get the hell out of here,” Clint said as he closed the side door and slid behind the wheel. He floored it and got around the corner in a matter of seconds. He pulled over on the side of the road five blocks away and turned off the car. Then he got out and slid into the back seat.  
  
“Now, let’s take care of that cord.” Clint flicked out a knife, helped Alex sit up, and cut the cord. Alex started to cry when she brought her arms around, both from the pain and from the fact that it was over.  
  
“That’s a lot of blood,” Clint said, looking her over.  
  
“It’s not all mine,” Alex looked down at herself. Both of her hands were completely red, some of it dried, and some of it from her wrists. On her right arm, the blood had come down from the cut in her shoulder, making her shirt stick to her side. She also had Jonas’s blood splattered on her face and chest.  
  
“You look like hell, kid.” Clint said as he put his hand underneath her chin and looked her over. “And I think you might be going into shock.” Clint reached into the front of the SUV and grabbed a bottle of water. He unscrewed the cap, put it to her lips, and tilted it up. Alex drank out of reflex.  
  
Then the whole ground shook. The red glow of fire lit up the sky. Alex stopped breathing as the sound of distant sirens reached her ears. Clint looked out the back window and put his finger to his ear.  
  
“Cap, talk to me. You and Sam alright?” Alex’s heart stopped as she waited for a reply. Clint nodded his head, obviously someone talking to him, which meant one of them had to be alive.  
  
“We’re about five blocks away,” Clint said. “And A.J. is about to cut off the circulation in my wrist, so hurry up.”  
  
“Sorry,” Alex said as she took her hand off of Clint’s wrist, blood smudged all over his skin. She really was covered head to toe in blood. Everything hurt and she couldn’t tell what new injuries there were, or if her old ones were flaring up. It didn’t matter.  
  
“They’ll be here in a few minutes,” Clint put the water bottle in her hand. “Drink this. It’ll make you feel better.”  
  
“I doubt that,” Alex brought the water bottle up, winced at the pain in her shoulder, and took a good gulp of water. It washed the taste of blood out of her mouth, but her lip started bleeding again. Clint put his hand underneath the bottle and tipped it up again, making her drink more.  
  
The SUV doors opened and Sam and Steve were standing there. Sam had a nice sized cut on his forehead and covered in soot, but other than that seemed fine. Steve was covered in blood splatter, but none of it looked like his. He just looked tired.  
  
“Local cops have it under control, let’s get her out of here,” Steve said as he slid into the passenger seat. Clint got out and got behind the wheel while Sam slid into the back seat. They drove away as the second team of police cars rounded the corner to get to the warehouse in flames.  
  
“Remember when we had that conversation about not leaving the apartment? How you promised me that you wouldn’t go out the door without one of us?” Steve said as they wove their way through the New York streets. He sounded more weary than angry.  
  
“What was I supposed to do? A woman was screaming out in pain and needed my help,” Alex attempted to sound pissed off, but failed.  
  
“You should have waited for me to come over. I picked it up on the bugs and was over there in five minutes,” Clint said as he looked at her in the rearview mirror.  
  
“I didn’t think, I acted. Is…is that girl dead?” Alex leaned back against the leather seats and closed her eyes. Her whole body felt sticky with blood and her shoulder and wrists were killing her.  
  
“We did what we could for her, but her heart was nicked and bled out quickly,” Sam explained. He took the water bottle of her hands and put the cap on it.  
  
“Where are we going,” Alex burrowed deeper into the leather jacket around her shoulders. Grant never took his jacket back and it smelled like his cologne and blood.  
  
“Hill set up a safe house for you, you can’t go back to your apartment since they know where you live. Until we figure this out, you are going to be staying there.” Steve pulled out his cell phone and put it to his ear.  
  
“We are on the move, how is the safe house coming along? Did you grab her stuff from the apartment?” Steve asked into the receiver.  
  
“Hey,” Sam whispered as he put his hand on her good shoulder, “you alright?”  
  
“No,” a tear leaked out of her eye. “I am very much not alright.”  
  
Sam reached out and pulled her across the seat. Alex cried on his shoulder, quietly, though it hurt since her cheek was bruised from the smacks given to her by the Nadia. Sam rubbed her arm, making sure not to touch her wound, and let her just cry against him. She was on the verge of falling asleep as the car pulled up to the curb and Clint turned it off.  
  
Alex sat up, though it was a struggle, and Sam slid out of the car. He offered her his hand and she took it to get out because her legs were still not operating properly. She still didn’t have any shoes on and the cold sidewalk burned the bottom of her feet. Her knees gave out underneath her and two sets of arms were around her before she hit the asphalt.  
  
“Woah,” Sam’s voice was right in Alex’s ear so she figured he was one of the men holding her. Alex tilted her head that way and found a warm chest to rest her head on.  
  
“Hill said everything is ready, let’s get her inside.” Steve’s voice was in her left ear, so that must have been the other set of arms. Alex wanted to open her eyes, to thank him with a look or some words, but it was all too much. Her head hurt far too much to even think about opening her eyes. Steve would understand.  
  
“Nice call with the sniper, Clint,” Steve said as he let go of Alex. Sam maneuvered Alex and then lifted her easily bridal style.  
  
“Sniper wasn’t with me, Steve. I thought he was one of your friends, you seem to have so many,” Clint said. “Whoever he was, he is an excellent shot. He had to be at least three blocks away and the windows aren’t that big. Got at least five by my count.”  
  
“I didn’t call anyone beside Sam and Hill,” Steve stopped at the top of the stairs of the town house and looked back at them. Alex opened her eyes at this and looked at Steve. They both knew who the sniper had been. The question was, where was James now?  
  
“Well, we should head back to the scene after we get her inside,” Steve said as he opened the door to the townhouse and flipped on the lights. Sam took Alex right up to the main bathroom and sat her down on the counter. The bathroom was all basic black and white, high end, but all black and white.  
  
“Should we get the doc?” Clint asked as Sam peeled off the leather jacket to get a good look at the cut. He rolled up the sleeve of her shirt and looked it over.  
  
“No, it bled like a bitch, but it isn’t that deep. I can patch it up if there is a first aid kit,” Sam said as he looked underneath the sink and found a first aid kit and put it next to her on the counter.  
  
“I can take care of the first aid, I need you and Clint to head back to the scene. If Bucky was there I need to know where he went. I also want to know where Ward went since it seems like he is leading this cell.” Steve appeared in the doorway of the bathroom.  
  
“You sure you don’t want to head out?” Sam asked. “This is the closest we’ve been to him in months.”  
  
“I can’t trust her to stay put, so I’m going to keep an eye on her. I trust you guys to find leads. We’ll regroup in the morning,” Steve shrugged out of his tactile vest and hung it up on the bathroom door knob.  
  
“Alright, we’ll call you when we know something.” Clint said as he started out the door. Sam looked between Steve and Alex.  
  
“Take it easy on her, alright?” Sam patted Steve on the shoulder on his way out.  
  
Steve and Alex looked at one another, sizing one and another up. Alex was ready for Steve to lay into her, tell her how stupid she was, how she could have gotten them all killed.  
  
“Let’s get all that blood off you,” Steve sighed as he grabbed a towel and wet it in the sink. He used it to wipe Jonas’s blood off her face, being completely gentle and delicate. He didn’t say anything, his features set in a blank expression. He was careful with the bruise on her cheek and the cut on her lip, which was now swollen.  
  
“It might just be easier to let me jump into the shower,” Alex didn’t know if she had the energy to stand up in a shower, but there was so much blood. It was going to sting like a bitch on all her open wounds, but she just wanted to get clean. To get all the blood off her. To wash the night away.  
  
“Okay, I’m going to go grab you some clothes. Leave the door open,” Steve said as he made his way toward the door.  
  
“Steve, before you go,” Alex hesitated for a moment because she was slightly embarrassed about what she was about to ask, “can you cut this shirt off me. I don’t think I can get it over my head.”  
  
If Alex was embarrassed, Steve turned about six shades of red. This made Alex laugh, for the first time in hours. It was weak and slightly hysterical, but it was a laugh.  
  
“I’m a girl Steve, not a shark, don’t look so scared,” Alex slid off the counter. Her legs almost didn’t hold her weight and she had to grab onto the counter. Steve took a few steps over to help her, but Alex righted herself.  
  
“I’m…I’m going to have to rip the shirt off,” Steve said.  
  
“The things girls’ dream of, Mr. Rogers,” Alex said with a small smirk.  
  
“Good to see you still have your sense of humor,” Steve reached out, hesitated, and reached out again. His fingers grabbed onto the collar of her shirt and with one tug ripped right down the front. Steve adverted his eyes from her chest.  
  
“Thanks, Steve,” Alex turned her back to make him more comfortable and took off the t-shirt. Steve disappeared out of the bathroom, though he didn’t close the door. She then took her bra off, with only a bit of wincing, and then the rest of her clothes. She stepped into the shower, said a few prayers that this wasn’t going to hurt as much as she thought it would and turned on the water.  
  
It hurt more than she thought it was going to and she cried during the whole thing. She didn’t use any soap or shampoo because she didn’t want it to get into the wounds. Steve would probably use peroxide when he stitched her up anyway. Alex used a washcloth to get all the blood off of her face, arms, legs, and chest. It seemed to be everywhere.  
  
Finally she stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her. Steve had left clothing on the counter and she saw his shadow right outside the door. She guessed she had Hill to thank for the right sized clothing since this stuff wasn’t from her apartment. Steve was smart enough to grab a button up vest top so she didn’t have to put anything over her head, but could still get to the wound, and a pair of gym shorts.  
  
“We’re all presentable in here,” Alex called as she hopped back up on the counter. She figured it would be easier for Steve to reach her wounds if she was up higher.  
  
Steve rounded the corner with a glass of orange juice and a bagel. He handed them to Alex and then washed his hands. He popped open the first aid kit and started placing them on the counter carefully. Alex could feel the barely controlled emotions underneath his calm demeanor. Whatever he didn’t want to say to her before, he definitely wanted to say to her now.  
  
“Is it early enough for breakfast food?” Alex picked at the bagel, not feeling particularly hungry.  
  
“It’s just past six a.m. and those will help you replenish the blood you lost,” Steve said as he grabbed a bottle of hydrogen peroxide and unscrewed the cap. Alex took a sip of the orange juice and a small bite of the bagel.  
  
“This might sting a bit,” Steve said as he dipped the peroxide onto a cloth and dabbed it onto the cut of her shoulder. Alex hissed, but kept her swearing under control. She let him do her shoulder, wrists, and ankles. By the time he was done, the rag was almost dripping with blood. Alex felt as if she was about to pass out. She had taken a beating and a half in the alley and had gotten through it fine, but this was more than she could take.  
  
“This bathroom is not going to be very white by the time I’m done with it,” Alex said when he was done.  
  
“Do you think this is some sort of joke?” Steve smashed his hand against the counter, causing the whole thing to jump, even with Alex on it. “Do you understand what they could have done with you? If a bullet had bounced off something in the warehouse and hit you. If Grant got you out of there. If Bucky’s aim was just a few inches off? Do you understand?”  
  
The outburst shocked Alex and frightened her a little.  
  
“Steve, I-”  
  
“No, don’t speak!” Steve screamed, making Alex flinch. “You have no idea what you have gotten into. You just got a taste of the world that you are flirting with by protecting Bucky, but this is nothing compared to what could have happened. And you are sitting there making jokes like a child!”  
  
Alex felt tears well up in her eyes and she took a sip of orange juice to hide them. He was right, she knew he was right, but it didn’t hurt any less. She felt herself shaking as he threw the towel into the sink and gripped onto the counter.  
  
“If you had gotten killed,” Steve spoke so softly it was as if he was talking to himself. His knuckles were white from his grip on the counter. Alex realized that his anger was mostly directed at himself than at her. That made her feel worse.  
  
“It wouldn’t have been your fault,” Alex said back just as quietly. It was the truth. It wouldn’t have been his fault if she had gotten herself killed. He had done everything in his power to keep her safe. She had been the one throwing herself into danger time and time again.  
  
“But I would have felt like it was,” Steve’s blue eyes were open and showed how scared he had been for her. “I can’t have another life on my conscious.”  
  
“And if you, Sam, or Clint had gotten hurt I would have felt horrible. When he told me that the place was going to blow, that he planned to kill you, that’s all I thought about. I’m sorry Steve. This week has been bad decisions all around on my part,” Alex sighed.  
  
Steve didn’t say anything as he took a bandage and places it against her shoulder. Then he started wrapping it up, his fingers gentle against her tender skin. He then took care of her wrists and her ankles. At the end Alex thought she looked a bit like a mummy.  
  
“Interesting tattoo,” Steve said as he saw the script on her back.  
  
“It is the normal Latin tattoo every white girl gets when she turns eighteen,” Alex took that as a sign he had forgiven her, at least a little bit.  
  
“Ex nihilo nihil fit,” Steve said as he cleaned the blood off his hands. “Nothing comes from nothing. You could have done worse for Latin phrases to choose.”  
  
“Of course you know Latin,” Alex laughed, then took a large gulp from her orange juice. The taste of orange juice mixed with blood wasn’t overly appetizing, but she did have to replace the blood she lost. However, she didn’t think she could tackle the bagel with her bruised cheek.  
  
“What is that supposed to mean? Here, take these with the rest of your orange juice,” Steve handed her a few Advil.  
  
“They taught Latin in the fifties, didn’t they?” Alex popped the pills, something she had become extremely good at in the past couple days. “All your school crests were in Latin and everything. You had to recite it at Sunday school.”  
  
“I was a poor kid in Brooklyn, I was lucky I learned English in school,” Steve said as he helped Alex off the counter and lead her down the hallway. He opened a door on the right side of the hallway and flicked on the light.  
  
“You should be safe in here, we have people watching the house. Try to get some sleep. And Alex,” Alex stopped on her way into the room, “please stay in the house. Even if it sounds like the city is being attacked by aliens, stay indoors.”  
  
“Cross my heart and hope to die.” Alex realized what she had just said, closed her eyes and sighed.  
  
“Don’t use that phrase for a while,” Steve said as he gave her a small smile before closing the door behind him.  
  
“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Alex said as she flipped off the light, crawled into bed, and fell asleep almost instantly.  
  
She woke up sore all over and confused about where she was. It was not her bedroom, it was too clean and too bright and too blue. The bed was so soft that Alex almost didn’t want to move, but she had to pee. After a half an hour of debating with her bladder, Alex finally got up. She swore the whole way down the hallway. Someone had cleaned up the blood and the bathroom was as pristine as it had been when she entered it the night before. She figured it was probably Steve.  
  
After she took care of everything, Alex was tempted to go back to bed, it was only nine in the morning. She had slept like the dead for three hours before her bladder ruined everything. However, she was thirsty and decided to see who was babysitting her. Also, she needed to call the Malones and let them know, once again, that she wouldn’t be in. She doubted anyone was going to let her go to work.  
  
Alex made her way to the top of the stairs when she felt as if eyes were on her. It wasn’t a malicious gaze, but someone was definitely watching her. Alex turned around, but the small hallway was empty and all the doors were closed. She figured it was an agent watching the place, but decided to bring it up to whoever was downstairs. She didn’t mention the cat lady and look what happened to her.  
  
The stairs lead into a hallway that opened into a living room. On the pristine white couch, stretched out from end to end, was Steve Rodgers. He had changed into a black t-shirt and jeans with red and white stripped socks. His mouth was slightly ajar and he looked positively adorable. Alex almost hated to wake him up.  
  
However, as soon her foot stepped onto the wooden floor in the living room, Steve’s eyes opened and he sat up. He rubbed his eyes and stretched.  
  
“Morning,” Alex said as she leaned against the back of the couch. “Sorry to wake you.”  
  
“I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Steve ruffled his hair and looked for all the world like a baby chick.  
  
“You might be a Super Soldier, but even you need to catch a few z’s every once and a while. How did things go last night?” Alex had to sit on her hands to stop herself from fixing his hair.  
  
“All of the evidence was torched. We got a few of their agents for questioning, but they were low level or aren’t talking. Basically, nothing, and another neighborhood blow to hell because of us,” Steve sighed.  
  
“I’m going to get some water out of the kitchen, you want anything?” Alex asked, not sure what else to say.  
  
“Water will be fine. There should be a bottle in the fridge door.” Steve stretched and sighed. “I’ll make us breakfast, if you want?”  
  
The kitchen was small, clean, and nondescript. It matched the black and white pattern of the bathroom, but was much more black than white. Again, everything was high end, but lacked character. Still, it was better than the safe houses she saw on TV.  
  
“No need to fuss over me.” Alex said as she handed the bottle to him when she reentered the room. “Oh, is there someone in the upstairs room? I felt like there was someone watching me up there.”  
  
“That was me.” Alex dropped her water bottle as both she and Steve turned toward the voice on the stairs. “I had just come in through the attic.”  
  
James was walking down them like he owned the place, hands in his pockets, not a worry in the world.  
  
“Bucky?” Steve’s voice was surprised and thin. They stood there, staring at one another over the couch.  
  
“Steve, it’s been a while,” James lips turned up in a smirk.


	13. Chapter 13

Alex stood there, terrified to even breathe. Last time the two of them were in the same space, Alex had almost gotten a few ribs broken and they had almost killed each other. She didn’t want a repeat. She didn’t think her body could take another beating. That had nothing to do with the fact that her emotions were all over the place; she didn’t think she could take another near death experience. Plus, a serious fight would bring a lot of agents running and James could get hurt. All of this would happen if she breathed. All hell would break loose.

James and Steve stood there, staring at one another, sizing each other up. James eyes were sparkling, but they were also wary. He had no idea how Steve was going to react either, but he didn’t seem all that concerned. 

Steve looked like he had just been hit by a truck. His mouth was open, his eyes wide. It didn’t look like he was breathing either. Steve said that he had only the best intentions to help James, but now it was time to see if he truly meant it. He hadn’t called in the reinforcements, but he hadn’t really made it seem like he was happy to see James either.  
Alex counted her heartbeats, waiting to see what would happen, praying it wouldn’t be a murder. James’s eyes were blue and alive now, but what if that changed. She had seen them turn lifeless in a matter of moments. Literally seen the light switch flip. 

“It is rare that both of you are speechless,” James said as they both continued to just stare at him. “I should write this down so I remember it next time my memory decides to take a vacation or someone wipes it. Then again, I wouldn’t remember where it was written down, so I guess that isn’t a great plan.”

“Does that mean you remember everything?” Alex couldn’t stay silent any longer. James’s joke was pretty accurate, being quiet wasn’t one of her strengths.  
  
James turned his attention to her and his expression softened. He took a few steps toward her. Steve snapped out of his shock and he moved to intercept him, to keep James away from her. Alex tensed, knowing that this was the moment a fight would break out if it was going to happen.  
  
“I’m not going to hurt her,” James stopped immediately and held up his hands, showing that he meant no harm.  
  
“You have before,” Steve’s eyes went to the metal fingers for a moment, before bringing his eyes back up.  
  
“That’s true,” James’s eyes clouded and his face fell. “But I’m fine right now. I just want to see if she’s alright.”  
  
“Why do you care?” Steve asked, not moving.  
  
“Why do you?” James countered.  
  
They stood there staring at one another for a few minutes, having a conversation without ever opening their mouths. Finally, still without a word passed between them, James moved slowly around Steve and continued to Alex. Steve didn’t stop him, put turned his head to follow James’s movement, not even blinking.  
  
“Are you alright?” James asked Alex softly. His metal hand went under her chin and tipped her face up, tilting it to the side to take in all the damage she had taken the night before. The fingers of his other hand ran over her lip softly, lingering on the split on both the bottom and top.  
  
“I’ve been better,” Alex gave him a small smile, wanting to lean into his warmth. Nothing would have made her happier than to have him wrap his arms around her and to rest her head against his shoulder. To just be safe and comfortable for a moment. She was so tired, she could feel it in her bones.  
  
“So, I take it you’ve seen each other more than I know about,” Steve said, his voice holding disapproval.  
  
Alex jumped a little. She had honestly forgotten that he was there for a moment. She felt herself blush a little as she looked around James at Steve. For a moment she could have sworn it was her brother Jake standing there, judging her for her poor life choices.  
  
“About that,” Alex gave him a nervous smile. “I might not have been completely honest with you during the week.”  
  
“You don’t say.” Steve’s jaw clenched and he looked at her for a long second. The meaning was clear, he was not happy and she was going to hear about it.  
  
Alex had no idea of his anger was more because she insisted on seeing James even though he had basically told her that it would lead to something like happened last night, or that he hadn’t put her on house arrest sooner.  
  
Steve just shook his head and his eyes traveled to James again. He seemed a little baffled very leery. Alex wasn’t sure if it was the change in James, personality or his appearance in the safe house out of nowhere. Alex was just rolling with the new and charismatic James, but Steve didn’t seem to know what to make of him. He probably never imagined their reunion to be like this. Honestly, neither had Alex.  
  
“What’s a matter Steve? Are you jealous?” James laughed as he leaned down and kissed Alex lightly on the forehead. Alex felt herself stiffen a little because it was all so weird and she wasn’t sure how Steve was going to react. How could she even compare this man to the very serious man she had met before, a Tin Man that was almost a robot in every sense of the word. It was as if the personality that had just peeked through the crack before had completely emerged. Was this the James of Steve’s youth? Was this Bucky Barnes?  
  
“I’m concerned,” Steve corrected before he sighed and shook his head. “How did you even get in here? How did you know she was here?” Steve’s voice made Alex want to reach out and take his hand. He looked like he needed a bit of support.  
  
Alex gently pulled away from James, walked over, and did just that. His hand was cold and shaking slightly. She gave it a reassuring squeeze, hoping that he would understand that this was weird for her too.  
  
“It wasn’t easy. I went to her apartment, but it was obvious you hadn’t taken her back there. Had to dodge your dark-haired female friend while I was there, she’s skilled and probably still pissed about Washington if she is former S.H.I.E.L.D. Then it was just doing what I do best and that lead me here. I came in through the window in the attic during shift change.” James studied them for a moment, his eyes inspecting their linked hands and their body language. Alex wondered for a fleeting moment if he was the one who was jealous.  
  
“I’ll have to mention that to the others so it doesn’t happen again.” Steve tightened his fingers around Alex’s hand. While his words sounded joking, he just stared at James with a blank expression. He was obviously unsure what to do or say. The pressure he was putting on Alex’s hand almost hurt.  
  
“So, you have all your memories back?” Alex asked again. It was the question that both of them wanted answered.  
  
“No.” James’s shook his head and his face fell as his eyes clouded. “I remember bits and pieces, and it comes and goes. Most of it is from when I was a kid. Mostly saving his ass.” James tilted his head toward Steve.  
  
“It wasn’t that often,” Steve protested, but James just gave him a look. “Okay, maybe it was more often than I’d like to admit.”  
  
“I pulled you out of back alleys, bloody, more times than I can count. Even when I had no idea who I was, I remembered that enough to save this little scamp,” James tilted his head toward Alex, “from an alley because I thought she was you.”  
  
“Scamp?” Alex attempted to sound offended, but it was a pretty accurate description of her. She had been called worse, a lot worse, by men she didn’t care about half as much. Hell, she was called worse when she didn’t appreciate a drunken cat call on the street.  
  
“You looked just like he did in that alley behind the movie theater the night before I shipped out, though you are much prettier upon closer inspection,” James smirked, but his eyes were still sad.  
  
“What made you remember all this?” Alex was attempting to process all of this, but her brain was just spinning around in circles. He had his memories somewhat back and now he had a complete personality change. He wasn’t the man she knew, that she cared for, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it.  
  
Alex let go of Steve’s hand and moved so that she was standing equal distance between the two of them. She suddenly very small and very young. Here were two men with so much history between them, so much history coating their skin, and her. She felt so out of place, as if she was intruding on something. As if she was the one out of time and not them.  
  
“Taking the kill shot on that asshole in the warehouse. I remembered doing that over in Europe for Steve multiple times. After that it was a bit of an avalanche of memories that I haven’t exactly sorted through yet.” James shrugged his shoulders, but his brow was furrowed. This James was not as put together as his laid back demeanor was trying to convey. He was just as shaken as the rest of them.  
  
“How did you even know that Alex had been taken?” Steve rubbed his temples, as if a simple answer would make this all make sense. Alex thought they all could benefit from a shot of Fireball at this point, but doubted there was any in the safe house. Her wounds were aching and she was pretty sure the cut on her shoulder was bleeding again. She also hadn’t gotten enough sleep to deal with this.  
  
“I saw them carry her out of the building and throw her into an SUV hidden from your surveillance by a garbage truck.” James paused for a moment to see how Steve would take the news that James had been so close to him and Steve had no idea, but Steve just waved his hand for James to continue. “Since I was on foot and had to avoid your people, I lost them for a while, but finally found the warehouse where they took her. Then I had to go and get supplies and figure out what I was going to do. Even with all my skill, I couldn’t take the warehouse by myself and keep Alex alive. I was planning to attack them during transportation. Then, your team got into position and decided I would be long range support. I didn’t know you had Robin Hood on your team.”  
  
“Clint is just going to love that nickname,” Alex laughed a little. It seemed like they were going to get through the interview without any blood being spilled. She took a breath and the world didn’t stop.  
  
“Stark calls him Legolas now and again, he’s used to it,” Steve said with a small smile down at her.  
  
They all stood there for a moment looking at one another.  
  
Alex suddenly became aware of the ticking of a clock somewhere in the townhouse as they all shifted from one foot to another. Then she was hit was a wave of dizziness. She didn’t know if it was because of blood loss, lack of sleep, pain, or the fact that she was emotionally drained, but the whole room started to shift. She felt herself start to go sideways and threw her hands out to grab onto something. All the sound disappeared and Alex closed her eyes.  
  
“Alexandra,” James’s voice was worried and right in Alex’s ear.  
  
“Don’t call me that,” Alex attempted to figure out where she was. She was leaning against something warm, which she figured was James’s chest. Her knees were buckled underneath her, but she was still basically upright. His arms were holding her up, and her shoulder wound was pressing right into the metal of his arm. The fabric of his shirt wasn’t giving much padding and she felt tears prickle the edges of her eyes. She was just too tired to move.  
  
“Set her down on the couch,” Steve’s voice was close as well. James moved his arm so that one kept her against his chest while the other went under her legs. He set her down softly on the couch, but kept his hand on her arm so that she would know he was there.  
  
“I’m fine,” Alex attempted to sit up, but two sets of hands pushed her back against the pillow. “I just got a bit dizzy.”  
  
“Did you give her something to replenish her blood or her sugar?” James asked Steve, ignoring Alex’s protest that she was fine.  
  
“She had orange juice last night, but hasn’t eaten yet today. I also haven’t checked her wounds, they might be bleeding again. She only got a few hours of sleep so that might also be it. She’s hard enough to keep alive, let alone healthy.” Steve sounded a little defensive.  
  
“And when, exactly, were you planning to do anything about any of that? You were just going to let her stand around until she hits the floor?”  
  
“If she hadn’t been trying to protect you, she wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place,“ Steve shot back, temper flaring. "And I didn’t see you offering her a seat.”  
  
“’She is sitting right here,” Alex pointed out, not liking them talking over her or arguing. “And I am a big girl that can take care of herself. Instead of worrying about my health, maybe both of you should be more focused on finding this alien artifact that I keep almost getting killed over.”  
  
James and Steve looked at each other from their position perched next to one another on the edge of the couch. They had another conversation without saying anything. That was getting old and they had only been together for a half an hour. Alex had a feeling that they were both rather fed up with her, but didn’t want to admit that she had a point.  
  
“Food first, we can talk over breakfast.” Steve got up from the edge of the couch and made his way to the kitchen.   
  
“I should check on those wounds,” James said as he looked down at Alex. She sat up and swatted away the hand that tried to push her down again. James rolled his eyes, but put his arm around her shoulders to steady her. The room spun a bit, but Alex reached out and grabbed the bottle of water on the table. She wasn’t sure if it was hers or Steve’s, but drinking some of it helped.   
  
“I can feel the wound on my shoulder bleeding, the rest are alright, I think.” Alex took a few sips from the water bottle and focused on her breathing.  
  
“Well, it looks like your wrists might be bleeding as well,” James’s said as he looked her over. “Where’s the first aid kit?”  
  
“Upstairs bathroom, under the sink,” Alex leaned back into the couch and tilted her head back. She closed her eyes, intending only to take a deep breath, however it was so comfortable that she didn’t move. The couch shifted, so she figured that James got up. She listened to Steve moving around in the kitchen and she wondered what he was thinking about this whole situation. However, she couldn’t be bothered to get up and ask, or just ask.  
  
“I think she’s asleep,” Steve said, so she figured that James had come back down the stairs.  
  
“She hasn’t exactly had an easy week,” James’s voice was just as soft.  
  
“Whose fault is that?” Steve snapped.  
  
“Hers, mostly.”  
  
Alex wanted to say something to that, but they were having a bonding moment. They had been apart for so long she wasn’t going to interrupt this unless it seemed to be getting out of hand. Plus, he wasn’t wrong about this mostly being her fault.  
  
“Buck,” Steve sighed. “Do you know how long I’ve been looking for you after Washington? Not knowing if you were dead? Then to find you with this girl, not knowing what was going on, or if she was in danger. Then she tells me you have some of your memories back, that you remember me, and…” His voice was so earnest, so hurt, it was painful to listen to. There was also this edge of optimism in his voice, like he had started to have a little hope that this was his friend; that everything would be alright.  
  
It took all of Alex’s will power not to draw a shuddering breath and she was glad her eyes weren’t open or she would have started crying. She really hadn’t really thought a lot about how all of this was for Steve. He was a Superhero, sure, but he was also a 30 year old guy who had been around for ninety some years and had one hell of a life up to this point. This could very easily be the last straw for him.  
  
“I know, I know, but I can’t tell you anything you want to know or be who you think I am,” James sighed. “It comes in bits and pieces, and then it’s gone. After Washington, everything was just confusion and it still is. I don’t know who I am. I read all about who I use to be and I know who I was supposed to be when they put me back together, but I don’t know who I am right now.”  
  
“Let me help you!” Steve pleaded. "Banner and Stark could maybe do something to help with the memories. We could keep you safe from Hydra, and anyone else, while you figure all of this out.”  
  
“You really think I’m going to let another set of mad scientists experiment on me? And what if I’m not the good guy you seem to think I am? If I turn out to be nothing more than the assassin I was programmed to be? Then what? You put me back on ice? You wipe me and start over? You kill me?” James countered, his voice raising. “These memories, it’s like holding water in my hand. Who knows when they will disappear and what will happen when they do. I won’t put myself in that situation. I won’t put anyone else in that situation. Not again.”  
  
“I know you are not a mindless killer because of her,” Steve shot back. “You knew nothing about yourself, just what they wanted you to do, and you saved her life. Whether you thought it was me or not doesn’t matter, you did save her life. You’ve continued to keep her safe with no benefit to yourself. Even when you were a mindless assassin, you still had a heart, Buck.”  
  
“The Tin Man needed a heart,” James said quietly.  
  
“What?” Steve asked.  
  
“Having a heart doesn’t mean it’s a good one.” James’s said instead, “And I wouldn’t say I helped Alex with no benefits for myself.”  
  
“Either way. Bucky, you don’t have to do this on your own.” Steve’s voice at that moment could have convinced Alex to jump off a building, that’s how compelling it was.  
  
“I think I do,” James said with a sigh.  
  
The throbbing pain in Alex’ shoulder became more prominent as the silence in the kitchen dragged on. If it wasn’t for that and the emotional dialogue in the kitchen, she might have actually fallen asleep, but as it was she was worried about getting blood on the nice white couch. It took more energy than it should have for her to open her eyes and lift her head. Steve had his back to James, doing something at the counter, while James leaned against the island and stared at his feet.  Steve moved to put something into the pan on the stove and saw her.  
  
“Have you been awake all this time?” Steve called as moved back to start cracking eggs.  
  
“Maybe like twenty percent awake,” Alex said truthfully. “I wasn’t eavesdropping, if that’s what you are asking.” That was a blatant lie.  
  
“The fact that you said that, kind of points out that you’re lying,” Steve shook his head as he focused on his food preparation.  
  
“What can I say, I’m off my game,” Alex shrugged and then winced. Her emotional expression is going to be severely compromised if she wasn’t going to be able to shrug without grimacing.  
  
James had been watching her during this whole exchange, but she couldn’t read his expression. He walked over to her and placed the first aid kit on the black coffee table. He sat down on the couch and started to unwrap the bandages on her shoulder. Alex bit down on her lip as he got closer to the actual cut and pulled off the blood soaked material to take a look at the wound. His brow furrowed and he muttered something in Russian.  
  
“I don’t like that look,” Alex’s voice was shaky due to pain.  
  
“It’s inflamed. It might be infected,” James’s voice was low. “I’m going to have to clean it out again.”  
  
“Really? Because at this point I’d rather cut it off then go through that again. Just think, we could have matching metal arms.” Her stomach churning just thinking about the smell of hydrogen peroxide.  
  
James snorted at that as he got up and grabbed a clean dish towel from the kitchen. He also grabbed an apple from the bowl on the counter.  
  
Steve watched him move out of the corner of his eye, but didn’t say anything. He was thinking about something, but what, Alex couldn’t figure out. He didn’t look angry, but something was bothering him. Then again, what wouldn’t be bothering him at this point? Alex attempted to catch his eye, but he turned back to the food.   
  
“This is going to hurt,” James’s voice was apologetic when he walked back over and handed her the apple.  
  
“It usually does,” Alex focused on James.  
  
“You know I hate to do this,” James’s voice was low and his eyes apologetic.  
  
Alex felt her heart constrict painfully and attempted to take an actual breath. She hadn’t sat down and processed that he was there, not only that, but he had some sort of feelings for her. That he was just sitting there, looking at her, his eyes so clear and alive. It didn’t matter if it made sense if he just stayed with her. Then she realized he couldn’t and wouldn’t. It made her want to cry.  
  
“Take a deep breath,” James prompted, dipping his head.  
  
Getting the wound cleaned a second time hurt worse than the actual injury and by the end Alex did cry, from physical and emotional pain. James muttered to her softly the whole time, some of it in English and some in Russian, apologizing. She would have told him it was fine between clenched teeth if she didn’t like the sound of his voice so much.  
  
“Alright, the rest of them shouldn’t be that bad,” James started to bandage the wound back up. He physically turned her so he could have better access to get the gauze all the way around her shoulder.  
  
“Promises, promises.” The skin was so raw that even the bandage against it sent shooting pain down her arm.  
  
Alex jumped when the cold metal of James hand touched her skin. He chuckled and she wasn’t sure if it was because of what she said or her jumping. Instead of asking she bit into the apple. It hurt like a bitch, she had forgotten about the bruised cheek from the night before. It also broke open the scabs on her lips, but at this point she was used to the taste of blood.  
  
“Interesting tattoo,” James said when he leaned back from bandaging her up. “I wanted to ask you about it the other day. I thought you said you had three, not two.”  
  
“I did because I do,” Alex said with a small smirk as she wiped blood onto the back of her hand.  
  
James rose an eyebrow, though at the blood or the comment about another hidden tattoo she wasn’t sure, and turned his attention to the wrist that she wasn’t using to eat her apple.  
  
“You know,” Steve called, which made Alex jump because she had forgotten about him again, “you never were debriefed about what happened in the warehouse. We might as well now since Lord knows the next time I will have you sitting in one place for a while.”  
  
“I thought I was on house arrest, you’ll have all the time in the world.” If there was one thing Alex did not want to do, it was talk about what happened in the warehouse. She had been trying, and being successful, about not thinking about it. Largely due to James popping up out of nowhere. Now dread was settling on her heart, making it cold.  
  
“Yes, because that worked so well last time,” Steve shot back as he threw something into a pan and it started to sizzle.  
  
“I’d rather we didn’t do this,” Alex hissed as James set to work on cleaning the second wound.  
  
“It wasn’t a suggestion,” Steve said. “Start from the beginning.”  
  
“I…I heard the scream in the hallway and I was running toward it before I thought about it. Bad habit of mine, I am quickly discovering. I found her bleeding on the floor, the cat lady. I don’t remember her name. I tried…” Alex’s voice cracked and she took a deep breath, “I tried to help her, but there was so much blood and…”  
  
James stopped bandaging her wound and held her hand. She gave it a squeeze, interlacing their fingers, and tried to keep it together. Images of the woman’s face kept popping into her head. How warm the blood was, how Alex could feel her dying right under her fingers and she couldn’t do anything to stop it. How she had just been a poor college kid trying to make some cash and had died attempting to do the right thing. How it could have easily been Alex. How it was all her fault.  
  
“There was nothing you could have done,“ Steve’s voice was soft, "the blade nicked her heart.”  
  
Alex could feel his eyes on her, but she didn’t look at him. She focused on James’s fingers, looking at the fine little scars on his skin. He had survived that, she would survive this. She kept her breathing steady and focused on the warmth of his skin. Then, when she felt a little steadier, she let go of his hand.  
  
“I know, Sam told me last night,” Alex watched as James’s metal fingers working with the white gauze as she brushed a few tears away. “It’s still…”  
  
“Maybe start when you were in the warehouse?” Steve prompted when she didn’t start talking again. “When you woke up.”  
  
“Right, so they tased me and I woke up bound to the chair. Jonas,” Alex saw his face flash before her eyes and shuddered. “Jonas and Nadia wanted me to tell them where the alien artifact was and where the Winter Solider was. They didn’t like that I didn’t know either. That’s when Jonas started getting friendly with the knife. Then Grant came, told me about his plan to blow whoever showed up to high heaven, and then all hell broke loose when Clint fired through the window and hit Nadia. You know the rest.”  
  
“Why didn’t they just leave you there?” Steve asked. “Why’d they take you with them and not let the explosion kill you?“  
  
“Thanks for that,” Alex turned to look at him.  
  
“That isn’t what I meant and you know it,” Steve gave her a look over his shoulder as he grabbed plates out of the cupboard. “There had to be a reason why they were taking you with them.”  
  
“Grant said that they might have use for me. Maybe as bait for whoever didn’t get blown into itty bitty superhero bits, I don’t know. I wasn’t in the state of mind to ask.” Just thinking about what they might have wanted to do to her made Alex shiver. Hydra had been doing experiments on people before, hadn’t they? Hell, isn’t that what they did to James? Now they had a lot more technology and medical knowledge. She hadn’t really had time to think about what would have happened to her if she hadn’t been rescued and she saw no reason to start now.  
  
"Is there anything else that you remember that you think might be important?” Steve asked as he set plates down in front of the stools at the island.  
  
“Two things,” Alex said, turning to look at him. “Nadia mentioned that you couldn’t get your hands on Grant again, which leads me to believe you know something about him. They also knew a hell of a lot about me, which means they know about my family.”  
  
“I have a former S.H.I.E.L.D agent that I know I can trust watching your parents and another watching your brother. They’re fine. As for Ward…well…” Steve clenched his jaw.  
  
“Don’t leave me in suspense,” Alex prompted.  
  
“Foods ready, come eat,” Steve said instead, turning his back on her.  
  
“Literally the opposite of what I asked you to do,” Alex sighed. “You are awful at dodging questions. And I’ll stick the apple, if that’s alright with you.“  
  
"No,” James and Steve said in unison. They both seemed a bit startled at this and looked at each other. Slowly, a small smile appeared on both of their faces.  
  
“I’m not hungry,” Alex rolled her eyes, but smiled a little to herself. Steve had said that he and James were inseparable as kids, it would make sense that they would talk in unison. There were some things that seventy years and a hell of a lot of trauma couldn’t erase.  
  
“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t eat.” James plucked the half eaten apple from her hand.  
  
Alex looked at him, about to make a retort, but stopped when she saw his face. He was smirking and his eyes were shining, but there was also a kindness to them. Alex felt heat shoot through her and her heart rate speed up. She might have lost half of her blood, but she was still a hot blooded female and the way he was looking at her was a bit too much.  
  
James’s eyes went down to her lips for a moment. Alex felt her temperature sky rocket. James reached out and Alex felt herself leaning into his touch. He cupped her face, but then used his thumb to wipe the blood off her lips that had settled there. She felt as his fingers traveled down to feel her pulse and watched as a smug little smile appeared. She wanted to smack him.  
  
“It’s getting cold,” Steve called, making them both jump.  
  
How did she keep forgetting that he was in the room?  
  
“There’s no way I am getting out of eating, is there?” Alex asked as James got up and wrapped his arm around her waist to help her to her feet.  
  
“Not a chance in hell,” James laughed as she stood up.  
  
The room spun a bit and her legs wobbled, but with James holding her against him she put on a good show of being perfectly fine. Well, besides the fact that James could feel that he was holding up a good bit of her weight and that she was shaking.  
  
“You need to replenish your energy,” Steve added as James walked her into the kitchen and placed her on the middle stool. “You look pale.”  
  
“I hate to break it to you, but I’m always pale.” Alex comfortable and James tossed the apple into the garbage can across the room from his seat with little effort. She gave him a look and he just shrugged.  
  
Steve was on Alex’s left and James was on her right and there was a huge plate of food in front of her. There was bacon, sausage, eggs, and breakfast potatoes, all of which smelled fantastic, but none of which she wanted to eat. She hadn’t wanted the apple either, but ate it to give herself something to do. Now, looking at this, the thought of eating made her feel nauseous.  
  
Alex reached out and took up the glass of orange juice, feeling the eyes of both the men on her while she sipped. She knew they were both yelling at her in their head, but they didn’t say anything. They didn’t stop looking at her, even when she put the glass down. Alex picked up the fork before they started force feeding her.  
  
“So about Grant,” Alex asked as she speared a potato.  
  
“So about you eating something,” Steve said.  
  
Alex very slowly raised the potato to her mouth, popped it in, and chewed, keeping eye contact with Steve the whole time. She exaggerated the swallow and opened her mouth, showing it was empty, before raising her eyebrow at him.  
  
“Very mature,” Steve sighed. “Grant used to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. As a matter of fact, from what I’ve been told, he was a pretty high ranking agent in S.H.I.E.L.D.”  
  
“Turns out he was also a high ranking agent in Hydra as well,” Alex filled in the blanks. When S.H.I.E.L.D’s servers were dumped, it came out that Hydra had been working within the organization basically since it was founded. While a lot of that information had been taken down quickly, it had shaken the people’s faith in S.H.I.E.L.D, the government, and the Avengers. That faith hadn’t been restored.  
  
“Not that high ranking if he wasn’t aware of how to get into contact with me,” James pointed out as he dug into his eggs.  
  
“You keep your old Hydra contacts?” Steve’s voice was cold.  
  
“Only to question whoever shows up. I don’t take any contracts anymore, if that’s what you are asking,” James shot back. “They have had seven people come to different rendezvous sites since D.C.”  
  
“And what did you do with them,“ Steve asked.  
  
“Does it matter?” James asked, his eyes challenging.  
  
"So,” Alex cut in as she popped another cube of potato into her mouth so they wouldn’t yell at her. “Grant is Hydra trash who is in New York looking for the artifact and James, if he could find him. But he couldn’t because James has been, historically, hard to find. Is that it?”  
  
“Sounds about right,” Steve said shortly as he turned his attention back to his plate. “After all, I’ve been looking for Bucky for months.”  
  
“I was trained to be invisible. It’s a hard habit to break, even if I wanted to,” James shrugged.  
  
The room was quiet and Alex pushed the eggs around her plate as the tension settled around her. She wanted to ask questions, to keep them talking, but was scared that any more disagreement would end up in some sort of fight. Since she was literally in the middle of the two of them, she didn’t think that would be good for her health.  
  
“When, exactly, did you learn to cook Steve? This is pretty damn good.” James asked finally.  
  
“Recently,” Steve explained. “It was the first time I didn’t have someone to do it for me. Better than army rations, that’s for sure.”  
  
“God, some of those were vile,” James made a face. “So, no girl?”  
  
“No time,” Steve answered.  
  
“You always were picky about dating. The amount of girls I tried to set you up with and nothing,” James shook his head. “You weren’t even grateful.”  
  
“They went out on double dates because they both wanted to be with you, Buck. I was just a necessary evil. I wasn’t exactly anything to write home about back then,” Steve pointed out around a forkful of food.  
  
“Not exactly true anymore, is it?” James pointed out. “You filled out well.”  
  
“Super serum will do that to you, but I’m still not a fan of the dating scene.”  
  
“Too scared?” James asked with a smile.  
  
“Too much work,” Steve smirked.  
  
“I feel like I’ve entered the Twilight Zone,” Alex muttered. “Of all you have to talk about, and you’re gossiping about dating like a bunch of high school girls.”  
  
“You need to eat more,” James chided as he motioned to her plate with his fork. “And what should we be talking about?”  
  
“Oh, I don’t know-” Alex started, but James pointed more forcefully toward the plate. Alex sighed, rolled her eyes, picked up a piece of bacon, and chewed it. She did the same exaggerated chewing she had done for Steve, which made James smirk and shake his head.  
  
“Happy?” Alex asked.  
  
“Ecstatic,” James quipped back.  
  
“Great, as for what you should be discussing. I don’t know, maybe the fact that you have both done stints as human Popsicles, on and off, for about seventy years? Or what to do about the evil organization that is still bent on world domination and is currently right here in NYC looking for an alien artifact that can control minds? Or even all the time that you have spent away from each other, manly tears and all that, but no. Instead you are sitting here talking about dates and dating. I just…” Alex was out of breath by the time she was done and stabbed one of the sausages with vigor.  
  
“I think someone might be a tad jealous,” Steve said with a smile.  
  
“Excuse me,” Alex’s voice was low and her blood pressure skyrocketed.  
  
“You aren’t used to sharing his attention and you’re jealous,” Steve was smiling like the Cheshire Cat.  
  
“Steve, you’re going to give her a heart attack,” James’s voice held a smile as well. Alex whipped her head around and glared at him.  
  
“She almost given me seven this week, consider it karma,” Steve smiled, totally pleased with himself as he looked at Alex. “And you need to eat some more.”  
  
“First of all, Mr. Rogers,” Alex started, really working herself up. “How dare you even think that-”  
  
She was interrupted as Steve popped a bit of potato in her mouth. Alex had no choice but to chew it so she didn’t choke, but she thought very unpleasant things about Steve the entire time she did. She swallowed and opened her mouth again, to which Steve picked up a forkful of eggs, posed to swoop in. Alex glared and snapped her mouth shut.  
  
“If you two are done,” James laughed as Alex turned away from Steve, muttering under her breath. “Alex brings up a good point. We can’t keep her under house arrest forever and until the artifact is found, she is a person of interest for Hydra. What’s the plan?”  
  
“Does that mean you’re going to work with us? No more man of shadows act?” Steve asked.  
  
Alex opened her mouth, but both Steve and James gave her a pointed look so she ate some eggs instead.  
  
“It means that to be effective I need to know the game plan,” James said slowly.  
  
“Oh,” Steve’s face fell a bit, but he turned his attention to his food to cover it up. “Well, to be honest, not exactly sure. I need to check in with Hill to see if she uncovered anything, and see what Clint and Sam found in the wreckage. I don’t have a plan currently except keeping A.J here and alive.”  
  
“And I appreciate that, but James is right, I can’t stay here forever,” Alex pointed out. James and Steve both went to point at her plate, but it was empty. She had finished the whole thing out of spite, though she did feel better. She’d die before she would tell either of them that.  
  
“I know, I know,” Steve sighed as he leaned back in his chair. “I guess I should check in with Sam and see what they’ve been up to. You should go up and set some sleep.”  
  
“Steve, if you tell me to do one more thing, I am going to scream.” Alex kept her voice pleasant, but she felt like tearing her hair out. “I am not a little soldier for you to order around. You can’t act like I am not one of the team and then expect me to follow orders. Besides, I won’t be able to sleep.”  
  
“You should at least try,” James joined in. “You need to rest to heal properly.”  
  
“I think that boat has already sailed,” Alex said over her shoulder as she got to her feet. Her legs shook a little, but other than that she was fine. They both raised their eyebrows, waiting for her to admit that they were right about her food. Instead just flipped them both off.  
  
“Charming,” Steve rolled his eyes as he started collecting the plates.  
  
“We need to finish changing your bandages,” James added as he got up. “Would hate for you to lose the hand that that charming finger is on.”  
  
“We still haven’t figured out what we are doing about Grant and his not so merry band of men,” Alex said as James led her back over to the couch and sat her down.  
  
“First of all, there is no ‘we’,” Steve said quickly. “And I will form a plan when I have more information.”  
  
“And how long will that take?” Alex snapped as James took her wrist and started changing the bandage. “A day, a week? I have work, I have classes, which I am currently missing. I have a life, Steve.”  
  
“You won’t if you don’t listen to me until this is over,” Steve spun around and Alex saw that he was at the end of his patience.  
  
Alex had no come back for that, so she sat there and fumed while James finished her wrist and both ankles. Steve was equally pissed off as he slammed stuff around in the kitchen. James shook his head at the both of them, muttering in Russian, but didn’t say anything to get in the middle of it.      
  
“All done,” James said as he placed her foot back onto the floor.  
  
“Thank you,” Alex grumbled. She knew that Steve was right, she was not cut out for taking down evil organizations, but they had made it personal when they kidnapped her. She couldn’t just sit around and wait for someone to deal with this for her. That wasn’t her style. She had never been so helpless before and she was pissed. It wasn’t like she wanted to be on the frontlines, but she also didn’t want to sleep while everyone else was doing something dangerous.  
  
“Why don’t you give us some space, I’ll see what I can get out of him,” James’s voice was low so that Steve wouldn’t hear it.  
  
“You think he’ll talk to you, but not to me?” Alex was a little hurt. Sure, she hadn’t known Steve for long, but she thought they had gotten pretty close. Then again, James had known him for years and was his best friend once upon a dream.  
  
“I’m an asset in this fight, you’re a liability, so he’ll talk about it with me.” James said simply as he closed the first aid kit and held it out to her. “Take this upstairs and I’ll see what I can do.”  
  
“So you can leave me behind too?” Alex asked bitterly as she took the box.  
  
“So I can keep you safe,” James said honestly.  
  
Alex’s reproach died on her lips and she sighed. She was acting like a stupid action movie female lead. What the hell was wrong with her? Maybe she should just curl up into bed until this whole thing was over.  
  
“I know, I know, I’m just being emotional. I blame the lack of sleep,” Alex took the box and turned to go.  
  
“Hey,” James got to his feet and touched her shoulder. Alex turned back and he kissed her lightly on the top of the head. Alex closed her eyes and stood there for a moment, letting the only thing that existed be her and James.   
  
“You’re allowed to be emotional.” He said softly as he let go of her and smiled.  
  
Alex caught Steve looking at them from behind James’s back, it was a mixture of concern and disapproval. She resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at him, or flip him off. James noticed that her attention had shifted behind him and looked over his shoulder. Steve turned around quickly.   
  
“You might regret saying that,” Alex smiled as she got up, swore under her breath, and started out of the living room.   
  
“Where are you going?” Steve called.  
  
“I’m going to go get dressed. You two can devise a way to keep me in the house while I’m gone,” Alex called back.   
  
It was slow going up the stairs, mostly because she was trying to eavesdrop, but finally she made it to the upstairs hallway. She limped into the room she had slept in she found a pile of clothes on top of the dresser. She had been so tired the night before that she hadn’t even noticed them. Maybe they hadn’t been there, she really didn’t know. Alex inspected the pile to find a white tank top, grey thermal, and a plaid shirt with black jeans. Alex said a silent prayer of thanks that Hill, whoever she was, had great fashion sense. There was also socks and her combat boots, her switch blade and brass knuckles beside them.  
  
Alex swore the whole time she got dressed, especially when she was putting on the shirts, but finally got it all taken care of. She felt a little better having actual clothes on, a little more normal. The switchblade and brass knuckles almost made her feel more secure, even though she knew they’d be useless against the people they were facing. She grimaced when she caught sight of her face in the mirror, it wasn’t pretty. There was nothing in the bedroom that looked like makeup so she hobbled into the bathroom.   
  
On the counter was a tooth brush, tooth paste, floss, and a little makeup kit. Alex reminded herself to write Hill a little thank you note, or whoever it was who had thought about all of this stuff. Alex went through her morning ritual of dental hygiene and makeup, her thoughts blissfully blank. She was reaching for a tissue to take care of a smudge of lip stain when something on the counter caught her eye. It was Grant’s leather jacket, which she hadn’t noticed because it was as black as the counter.   
  
Alex grabbed it, looking at the inside sleeve. There was blood on the lining, but it looked mostly dried. Shouldn’t be too hard to get out with a little determination, or keep in if she didn’t feel like going through all the work. It’s not like you’d know it was blood unless she told someone. She tugged it on and found that, while it was a bit large, it was comfortable. She slid her fingers into the pockets to look at herself in the mirror. Her fingers brushed against something. She wrapped her fingers around the item and pulled it out.   
  
“Well, I’ll be damned,” Alex said as she looked at the USB drive. Grant must have taken it out of the computer in the warehouse and put it in his jacket pocket. He hadn’t expected to be separated from the jacket, or Alex for that matter. Alex knew that something important was probably on it, that she should go and give it to Steve or James. However, she knew that they wanted to cut her out, to keep her safe, so they wouldn’t tell her what was on it. She had almost died, knowing a few secrets seemed like it was a fair trade.   
Alex heard footsteps in the stairs and made a split decision. She shoved the USB drive into her boot and flung the jacket behind the shower curtain. A small voice in her head told her she was being stupid and was going to regret this sooner rather than later.  
  
Then again, that’s how she went through life. Why change it now?


	14. Chapter 14

Alex walked out into the hallway to see James appear at the top of the stairs, eyes troubled and thoughts obviously elsewhere. It was a look that made Alex’s heart drop. Whatever Steve had to say, it hadn’t been good. However, when he saw her, he smiled and some of the tension disappeared from his shoulders. It was such a small thing, but it made Alex’s heart break. 

He walked over and stood in front of her, just close enough to reach out and touch her if he wanted to, but he kept his hands to himself. 

“How did it go?” Alex asked, knowing by the look that it wasn’t great. 

“He trusts me about as much as I trust him,” James sighed. “He wants to trust me, that’s painfully obvious, but without having a better idea of what Hydra did to me, he won’t put his people’s life at risk by telling me any information. He gave me a few tidbits, but basically told me to stay out of it.”

“That’s it? Stay out of it? That doesn’t sound like Steve, not about you.” Steve had been fixated on James since the moment they met in that alley. Just brushing him off did not seem like Steve’s style at all. 

“I honestly don’t think he is processing that he’s talking to me.” James leaned against the wall and ran his hand through his hair. “I am sure he has imagined our reunion a hundred different ways since he found out I was alive and I can assure you none of them have been what happened this morning. He’s missing a person I’m not sure exists anymore and I think that hurts him a bit more than me being dead. You also complicate matters.”

“Me? Why?” 

“You’re another factor, someone he doesn’t know what to do with. He has always wanted to protect everyone but himself and I don’t think he’s going to really process what is going on until this is all over,” James explained. 

“What about you?” Alex asked softly, trying to read his expression. “How are you doing with all this?”

“I…it’s been so long since I’ve felt anything, it’s hard to explain what I feel. I know who he is, I remember what he was to me, but that all seems so surreal. It ebbs and flows and it’s hard to hold onto. And like I said, you complicated matters.”

“What am I doing this time other than existing?” Alex huffed. 

“Nothing, and that’s the problem.” James turned his head toward her and smiled. “It’s just that when you are around, it’s hard for me to concentrate on anything else and it takes all my concentration to sort through my memories.” James looked at the opposite wall and it was obvious that his thoughts were a million miles away, or maybe a few decades. He looked sad and confused and lost.

Alex felt as if he had wrapped his fingers around her heart and squeezed a little. He had never said anything aloud about how he felt about her. Well, he might have in Russian, but that hardly counted. While being distracting could mean a lot of things, Alex only wanted it to have one meaning. Even if he had to leave, even if it was only for a moment. 

“Well me being a distraction or not, it still doesn’t make any sense. The way he was talking earlier it sounded like he was ready to pin the Avengers A onto your shoulder,” Alex pointed as she leaned next to him, ignoring her personal drama for a moment. “What changed?”

“I wouldn’t give him any information or play by his rules. I have ideas about where the Hydra members might be, he wants them, and I want to handle it myself.” James’s voice was dark at the end of the sentence. 

Alex felt a shiver go down her spine. James was going to handle things the way he had been programmed and he didn’t seem to have any problems with that. Even with his memories somewhat back. Jonas’s face flashed in front of her eyes, dead and pale. 

“Why? Why not let Steve and Sam take care of it? It’s kind of their job.” Alex rubbed her arms. She had always known that James was a killer, he had never hidden that fact, but it still wasn’t a good feeling to know that he had no problem ending someone’s life. Sure, he had been a sniper in the war, but the Nazis of old seemed so different than Hydra agents of now for some reason.

“They made it personal,” James said simply. Alex turned to see that he was looking right at her. He moved so he was standing in front of her, reached out, and let his fingers lightly touch her cheek where the bruise was hidden by makeup. 

“That was kind of the point,” Alex pointed out. That simple gesture warmed the chill in her bones and drew her toward him. Her emotions were in constant chaos when she was around him and while she loved him, even though she didn’t want to admit it, she didn’t like being out of control. A moment ago she was debating the morals of him killing people and now all she wanted to do was kiss him. 

She ran through the same arguments she had been having with herself all week, how could she be so attached to a man who was so unpredictable and mysterious and dangerous. How had she let herself fall in love with him so quickly? How did she let herself fall in love?  
  
“Steve says that I should get out of here without being seen, if I can. He thinks that if anyone other than Sam sees me, it’s going to complicate matters,” James let his finger trail down her cheek to her jaw before letting his hand drop.  
  
“I believe that’s the understatement of the century,” Alex laughed a little as she looked down at her feet. “What are you going to do?”  
  
“What I do best,” James said simply.  
  
“That’s not an answer,” Alex countered, the chill settling into her bones once again. She was really sick of people dying, even if they were bad people.  
  
“You sound like Steve,” James chuckled, making Alex look up. “I’m going to do what I have to do to keep you safe.”  
  
“You know,” Alex said, her voice raising a little. “I’m getting really sick of people worrying about keeping me safe. When they do that, it doesn’t seem to end well. What are you going to do, kill all of Hydra?”  
  
While Alex was having a problem figuring out what her emotions were doing, anger had always been right there to help her out. Just last night everyone had almost gotten blown up because they were trying to protect her, she did not want a repeat. She didn’t want to see anyone else die and she definitely didn’t want them to die for her.  
  
“If that’s what it takes,” James didn’t raise his voice, but it was like steel. “I did this, I brought you into this, and I am going to make it right.”   
  
“I was the one who decided to help you, I was the one that let you into the apartment across the hall. I did that. This isn’t your fault. Get over yourself.” Alex’s voice rose a bit more. “Why don’t you stop figuring out how to blame yourself for everything and start worrying about keeping yourself safe?”  
  
“Because I’m not important!” James finally snapped, making Alex flinch. However it was just normal frustration and not terminator mode, so she pressed her luck. She was too tired and mad at this point to care anyway.  
  
“Don’t be a fucking idiot!” Alex snapped back. “How in the name of God could you stand there and say you aren’t important? Forget the fact that you are a person and all people matter. Look at what you have done! You help Steve win World War II for fucks sake. That’s not even mentioning everything you have done for me. I’d be dead without you!”  
  
“How does that make up for what I’ve done in between then and now? Don’t stand there and try to tell me that I am a hero when you know nothing about me,” James’s voice dropped, but it still shook with anger. “You have no idea what I’ve done. What kind of monster I am.”  
  
“And you think that makes it so it doesn’t matter if you die?” Alex’s voice dropped as well. “Because Steve knows what you’ve done. I am sure he knows every gory god damn detail and he doesn’t give a damn! He is beside himself trying to get you back. Who you used to be doesn’t change who you are now! I have seen monsters, and you aren’t one!”  
  
They stood there, breathing heavily, staring at one another. Finally, James ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, breaking the stalemate. Alex huffed and crossed her arms, still fuming. Did she know what she felt for him? Not really. Was she determined to make him see that he was worthy of living? You bet your ass.  
  
The moments ticked by as they both stood there, looking at one another in frustration.  
  
“You are the most infuriating women I have ever met,” James said running his hand through his hair again, tugging at it slightly. However, there was the ghost of a smile on his lips.  
  
“You can barely remember anything or anyone, so that doesn’t mean much,” Alex shot back.  
  
“You don’t know the women I do remember.” The ghost of a smile materialized into an actual smirk, showing that he had put an end to the argument.  
  
 “I’ll take it as a compliment then,” Alex gave him an answering smirk.  
  
“Of course you would.” James gave her an actual smile at this, which made him breathtakingly beautiful. Alex felt her breath catch a little and then mentally screamed at herself for being absolutely ridiculous. She was angry. She was not going to swoon every time he smiled!  
  
James looked at her when he heard her little gasp, the smile sliding off his face. He studied her for a moment, as if trying to figure something out, before shaking his head. He reached out, putting his hand on her cheek again, and kissed her. He was warm and soft, very delicate for a man so strong. It made her feel safe. He might be a killer and he might have almost killed her, but there was something about James that just felt right. James’s other arm went around her waist and held her close to him.  
  
Alex’s brain was screaming at her that this was an idiotic idea. Wasn’t she just thinking about how stupid it was that she had feelings for him while she knew nothing about him? Wasn’t it obvious that he wasn’t going to stay around so she shouldn’t get any more involved with him? Isn’t that what she told herself every time this happened? This wasn’t fair to him and it sure as hell wasn’t fair to her.  
  
Then her heart told her brain to shut the fuck up. She wrapped her arms around his neck, even though her shoulder started to throb, and kissed him back. There was a moment where he stiffened, as if he was having his own mental debate, before he leaned into the kiss. James’s hand went back to tangle in her hair, tipping her head back a little so that he could kiss her more passionately. Her nails dug into his neck as she bit down lightly on his bottom lip, making him open his mouth, so she could slip her tongue inside. James pushed her gently so that her back was against the wall and pressed himself against her, the heat from his body easily felt through their clothes. Alex rolled into him, wanting there to be no space between them.  
  
“Okay, okay,” James said, pulling back to break them apart, resting his forehead against hers. “I have to go. Steve will have my head if he comes up and sees this.”  
  
“Steve isn’t my keeper. And I didn’t stop you in the first place,” Alex said breathlessly, which got a laugh out of him.      
  
“Like I said, you’re infuriating,” James said as he placed a kiss on her forehead before letting go of her and walking down the hallway.  
  
“The front door is that way,” Alex pointed out as she leaned against the wall, trying to get her breath back.  
  
“Who said anything about the front door?” James cast a smile over his shoulder before he disappeared into one of the doors off the hallway.  
  
“And I’m infuriating,” Alex said to herself. She placed her head against the wall and hit it against it a few times. It wasn’t like she was using her brain for anything else. Her heart was racing, her shoulder was sore, and she was even more confused. This week had just been stellar for bad decisions. However, it had been good for great make out sessions, so that was a plus.  
  
“Everything alright up there?” Steve called from the bottom of the steps.  
  
“Fantastic,” Alex called down, the sarcasm dripping off every letter. “Fan-fucking-tastic.” She sighed as she closed her eyes and leaned against the wall.  
  
“I’m going to be leaving soon, Clint’s coming to hang out,” Steve continued, ignoring her sarcasm. She had a feeling he had a lot of practice doing that.  
  
“Babysit, you mean?” Alex called as she walked to the top of the stairs. The USB drive slid further into her boot and under the arch of her foot. She had forgotten it for a moment, she thanked James for that, and now she couldn’t get to it easily.  
  
“Prison guard more like it,” Steve chuckled as he shrugged into his jacket. “Can I trust you to stay put?”  
  
“What do you think?” Alex asked as she walked downstairs.  
  
“I am praying that it is yes, but I am going to leave Clint with a taser just in case,” Steve smiled as she joined him at the base of the stairs, but then he turned serious. “Alexandra, do not leave this house.”  
  
“Where would I go?” Alex ignored the USB drive digging into her foot. She thought about telling him about it, about stopping this, but she couldn’t force the words past her lips. As much as she hated the danger, James was right, they had made it personal. She wanted to know what they knew, she wanted to prove that she could do something to help.  
  
“I don’t know and that’s what I’m worried about.” Steve sighed, giving her a serious look as a knock came to the front door. Steve opened it and Clint strolled in with a cardboard carrier filled with Starbucks cups.     
  
“You are a God among men,” Alex said as he handed her one, ‘troublemaker’ written on the side.  
  
“You hear that Steve, a God!” Clint smiled as he handed him his cup as they switched places so Steve could head out.  
  
“She hasn’t met Thor,” Steve pointed out with a look.  
  
“She doesn’t plan to,” Alex added. Dealing with two men who had been alive for ninety years and didn’t look a day over thirty was more than enough weird for her. That wasn’t even counting in the evil organizations and alien artifact. She did not want anything to do with alien princes, or gods, or whatever the Asgardians were.  
  
“Keep an eye on her,” Steve said with a slap to Clint’s shoulder as he headed out of the door. “Handcuff her to the banister if you have to.”  
  
“I’m not into that kind of stuff, Cap,” Clint said with a smile.  
  
“Pity, because I am,” Alex winked at the both of them.  
  
Steve sighed, look toward the ceiling, and closed the door behind him. Clint and Alex stared at one another.  
  
“You look like hell,” Clint said between sips of coffee.  
  
“You look like shit,” Alex countered.  
  
He really did, there were bags under his eyes and he had soot on his nose. He must have been at the warehouse until Steve called him, which meant he hadn’t slept. Being a superhero wasn’t that glamorous after all.  
  
“Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, what’s there to eat in this place?” Clint moved around her, through the living room, and into the kitchen.  
  
“There might be food left over from what Steve cooked this morning.” Alex trailed behind him, the USB literally getting under her skin. She was going to have to get it out of her shoes soon or she was going to damage it.  
  
“Steve cooked? For just the two of you?” Clint stuck his head in the fridge and started pushing stuff around.  
  
“He was very adamant that I eat something after losing blood last night,” Alex hopped up to sit on the counter. Her whole body told her that it was a stupid idea immediately and not to do it again.  
  
Alex was a bit surprised that Steve hadn’t told Clint about James. Apparently he didn’t trust his team as much as he said he did. However, Sam knew about him and was even helping him track him down, so what was the difference? As if she needed more relationships to figure out. She couldn’t even deal with her own.  
  
“Speaking of which, you look a bit like a mummy with all the bandages. Is it bad?” Clint pulled out a Tupperware container of breakfast potatoes.  
  
“I mean, I’ve never been captured by an evil organization and tortured before, but I’m sure it could have been worse. I’m sure you’ve had worse.” Alex grimaced again when she attempted to shrug.  
  
“Yeah, you’re right, but it’s my job.” Clint popped open the container and put it into the microwave. “Honestly though, how are you holding up?”  
  
“Honestly? I don’t know. I haven’t really processed what happened last night and I don’t think I want to, but I haven’t broken down into hysterics so…” Alex said as she looked down at her feet. “I think I’m doing alright. Confused as all hell, but alright.”  
  
“Hey, confused as all hell is how I go through life.” Clint gave her a smile while he waited for the microwave to ding, which it did in a matter of seconds. “But don’t bottle that stuff up. Seriously not good for your health.”  
  
“Neither is the amount of hot sauce you are putting on those potatoes,” Alex laughed as he dumped it without much care. “We all make poor decisions.”  
  
“You seem to make more than the rest of us. I mean, maybe not me, but most other people,” Clint said as he grabbed a fork a dug into his food. He closed his eyes, leaned his head back, and moaned. Alex just shook her head and took another sip of her coffee.  
  
“So, what’s on the agenda for today? Shadow puppets? Braiding each other’s hair?” Alex asked when she finished her coffee.  
  
“Honestly, I am looking forward to a nap. This is like my sixth coffee and it’s the only thing keeping me on my feet. You probably could do with a bit of rest too,” Clint pointed out as he polished off the rest of the potatoes and stuck his head back into the refrigerator.  
  
“I’m not tired.” Clint stuck his head out of the fridge and gave her a look. “Exhausted, yes, but not tired. There is a difference. Is there any new information about Hydra or the bracelet or anything?”  
  
“Even if there was, I wouldn’t tell you,” Clint said honestly as he came out with what looked like a bowl of spaghetti. “Not only would Steve murder me, but honestly, you have used up all of your nine lives this week. I am not going to be the one to get you killed.”  
  
“I’ve always considered myself more of a fox than a cat,” Alex said with a smirk. She had been toying with the idea of telling Clint about the flash drive, but not if he was going to shut her out about what was on it too. Seriously, all she wanted to know was what was on the damn thing. Was that too much to ask? She had almost died to get it.  
  
“Why does that not surprise me?” Clint smiled as he put the bowl into the microwave and started to reheat it.  
  
“How long do you think I’m going to have to stay here?” Alex slid off the counter, the wounds on her ankles throbbing in protest, and limping over to throw out the coffee cup.  
  
“Safe estimate would be a week, but honestly, it could be a while. With the Winter Soldier out there and Hydra very interested in you, we are probably going to play it on the safe side. The only thing we got out of the injured Hydra agents we dragged out last night was a count of the members in the cell. There are still six in play, one of them being Grant and his lovely blonde friend.” Clint spoke as he pulled the bowl out, mixed the spaghetti, and shoved it back in.  
  
“You didn’t get her last night?” Alex felt as if she had been dumped into an ice bath. Jonas might have been the one that took the knife to her, but Nadia was cold and calculating. She didn’t do what she did because she enjoyed it, she did what she did because she thought it was right. She also looked like she would enjoy painting her nails with the blood of her enemies.  
  
“Hey, I put an arrow in her. What more do you want from me?” Clint pulled the bowl of spaghetti out of the microwave and started digging into it.  
  
“So, is this just surveillance or house arrest? Because I have an exam I can’t miss on Tuesday and assignments that I need to turn in. Not to mention work. I’m all for a bodyguard, but I am not going to fail the semester.” Alex moved into the living room and threw herself down on the couch. It smelled like shampoo, smoke, and man’s deodorant. How was it fair that Steve had been up for more than a day and smelled so good that it seeped into the furniture?  
  
“Please explain to me how school work is more important than staying alive?” Clint asked around a mouthful of food.  
  
“Because I’m on an academic scholarship and if I drop below a 3.5 GPA I lose that and have to go back to the farm permanently. I am barely keeping on top of the money situation as it is, I can’t afford to pay for school,” Alex explained. “So if I do live, it won’t matter, because I’ll be busheling hay bales for the rest of my life.”  
  
“Let’s just focus on keeping you alive to go anywhere part, okay?” Clint said seriously. “And living on a farm isn’t so bad.”  
“So I am guessing house arrest is the answer to the question,” Alex sighed as she laid back and closed her eyes.  
“Look at you, you really do deserve that scholarship,” Clint joked.  
Alex opened her one eye and saw that Clint took a seat at the counter with his back to her. She reached down into her boot and fished out the USB drive and slid it into her jean pocket. Her mind was racing as she tried to figure out how she was going to get to a computer. She hadn’t seen any in the house and it wasn’t like they were going to let her go to the library.  
“Can I at least work on assignments while I am here?” Alex asked, attempting to sound morose about being on house arrest. “Like get my laptop, or a laptop, or something?"   
"Can’t you just consider this a day off and take it as a win? I have never met someone who is so against just having a day to lay around on the couch,” Clint said without turning around. “I would kill for a day in sweatpants, just watching television and not moving. Literally, I would murder someone if it meant I got a day off.”  
  
“I shouldn’t mention that if I wasn’t in your care, you’d be napping on the couch right now, should I?” Alex asked with a laugh as she sat up. “And surveillance on me wasn’t too bad until the whole kidnapping thing, was it?”  
  
“You’re probably the most entertaining asset I’ve watched in a while, I’ll give you that. Much better than hanging out in the middle of the desert looking at a hammer stuck in the ground.” Alex raised an eyebrow at this, but since Clint couldn’t see her he just continued eating his spaghetti. “Though you were almost the first one that was killed on my watch, so that wasn’t any fun.”  
  
“It also wasn’t your fault. If I thought before I acted, none of that last night would have happened,” Alex sighed. The words almost burned her mouth as she said them since she was actively trying to devise a way to get a computer and access Hydra intel without telling anyone, but then she shrugged it off. She was doing something stupid, yes, but she had thought it out beforehand this time.   
  
“Hence why we have to keep you under lock and key. Doing stupid things kind of seems to be a reoccurring theme with you,” Clint pointed out.   
  
“You really have no idea,” Alex said as she got to her feet and walked over to him. “So is there any way I could get a laptop to access my schoolwork and type up papers or something? I will go insane just sitting around here knowing there is all this stuff I need to get done. I also need to call the Malone’s and let them know I won’t be in once again."   
  
"Your boss? That was already taken care of,” Clint said, turning to look at her. “We had an agent stop by the say that you were in a bit of trouble in regards to your ex-boyfriend and that it would be a few days until you could come in.”  
  
“She’s probably beside herself,” Alex groaned. “I should probably call her.”  
  
She could just picture Mrs. Malone wringing her hands and muttering about how she had told Alex not to walk home at night. She was probably blaming herself for the whole thing when it had been Alex’s bad decisions and hormones that had made all of this happen. Out of everyone that she had put out because of this whole mess, Mrs. Malone made her feel the guiltiest. Alex really didn’t deserve a boss as good as her.  
  
“That shouldn’t be a problem, but I’ll run it past Cap. Also, there’s a laptop out in my SUV that I will let you use when I get Cap’s approval.” Clint finished off the spaghetti and leaned back to look at her. “So until then why don’t you try taking a nap so I can take a nap?"   
  
"Sleeping on the job? For shame,” Alex said, trying to figure out where Clint would keep his keys. She just needed to get out into the car and pray that his laptop was not password protected.   
  
“There are at least three other people watching the house, I can catch a few Z’s.” Clint got up and walked over to put the bowl into the dishwasher. As he bent over Alex saw the outline of car keys in his back pocket.  
  
She could stay put until he was asleep and sneak out, but she was too restless to wait for that to happen. Besides he was a master assassin or something, he probably could go from asleep to awake in three seconds. She closed her eyes, said a silent prayer that she wasn’t going to get herself killed or knocked out, and then ran over.   
  
“What the-” Clint screamed as Alex put her hand on his back and slipped her other into his pocket to grab his keys. She then pushed him forward before darting to the front door, wrenching it open, and flying down the stairs. She hit the unlock button and an SUV a couple cars down on the street beeped. She ran toward it as Clint appeared at the top of the steps. Alex got in and got the door closed right as Clint slammed into the side of the SUV.   
  
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Clint called through the window as Alex grabbed the laptop out of the back seat. She flipped it open, hit the power button, and did a little fist pump when the desktop screen popped up.   
  
“Alex, God Damn it!” Clint screamed through the window. “Alexandra, open this door right now!”  
  
Alex ignored him as she plugged in the USB drive, and opened the folders. Her eyes widened at the amount of information that was all in neat little folders. Clint was on the phone, probably calling someone to override the electronic locks. Alex hit copy all and then clicked on the last opened file.  
  
“Son of a bitch,” Alex said. Staring at her was a blueprint of what Hydra believed the bracelet looked like. It was the exact one that she had dropped off to the lost and found on Tuesday before she met up with James. All this time, she really had known where it was. She didn’t know what she had done to the universe, but it was having a lot of fun at her expense.  
  
The download was complete so Alex yanked out the USB drive as the door locks popped open. Clint wrenched open the door and Alex threw the drive at him.  
  
“What the fuck-”  
  
“You probably want to destroy that and we need to go, I know where the artifact is,” Alex cut him off as she put on the seat belt.  
  
Clint looked at her for a moment before dropping the USB onto the ground and stomping on it was more force and longer than needed. He basically ground it to dust under his heel. Alex had a sneaking suspicion that he was pretending that it was her head. He kicked the pieces into a storm drain, muttering as he did so. He hit a contact on his phone as he walked around the car and got in.  
  
“This is Agent Barton, the safe house has been compromised. Put everyone on high alert. The asset is in my care with Captain and Falcon running back up.” Clint said before he turned the key in the ignition, sighed, and hit another contact. “Cap, you remember that joke about the handcuffs? I should have listened to you.”  
  
Alex heard Steve say something on the other end that did not sound overly friendly and Clint grimaced. She was pretty sure there were a few expletives as well.  
  
“Yeah, well, apparently she had a USB drive that was taken from the Hydra base last night. She says she knows where the artifact is and we are heading to retrieve it now. I can’t leave her here in the safe house because the drive probably had a tracker.”  
  
What came through the phone receive was definitely not friendly and Alex wondered where he had learned language like that. Then she remembered he was in the army and just sighed.  
  
“Steve, Steve, I got her. We are heading to,” Clint looked over to her and she mouthed campus, “campus to get it. Just meet us there. Yes, I understand, I won’t let her out of my sight.” Clint hung up and swore under his breath as he buckled up and pulled into traffic.  
  
“How mad, exactly, is he?” Alex asked after a few moments of silence.  
  
“If he was Banner, he would be tall, green, and tearing up Harlem as we speak,” Clint’s voice was level as he navigated New York traffic. “He chewed my ass off. I am sitting on its bloody remains. It is such a shame, I had a nice ass.”     
  
"It is a nice ass, very firm,“ Clint just shot her a glare out of the corner of his eye. "I’m sure it’s still show stopping. He is going to murder me when he gets his hands on me,” Alex hadn’t really thought about that when she had run out the front door. She wanted all of this to be over, but Steve was probably going to shake her until her teeth fell out, and that was the best case scenario.   
  
"Good possibility. There is a known assassin and at least six members of Hydra after you and you run out into the street, turn on a tracking device, and then draw us out into the open without back up. You’re lucky I didn’t murder you.“ Clint said between clenched teeth as someone cut him off and he laid on the horn. “There’s still time.”  
  
"Why haven’t you?” Alex was genuinely curious.   
  
"Because I have never seen Cap this mad and I can’t wait to see him lay into you,“ Clint explained.   
  
"I’m glad I could do that for you,” Alex leaned back and watched the traffic.   
  
Clint muttered under his breath about crazy blondes and sicking Natasha on her, but Alex attempted to tune it out. Instead she focused on all of this being over, the alien artifact being handed over to the right people to do whatever with it, being safe again. Sure, that would mean she wouldn’t see Steve and Sam and Clint any more, but she was pretty sure she could live with that. If this week had taught her anything, it was that she wasn’t superhero material. Hell, she wasn’t even side-kick material. She was the stupid female that got killed in the first five minutes of an action movie material.  
  
It also meant that she wouldn’t see James anymore. He had already left once and only came back because she was in danger. With the artifact locked away, he would disappear once again. Was she ready to let him go? She knew the answer to that was a resounding no. But what choice did she have?  
  
James…well, James was a different matter entirely that she didn’t have the time to sort through at that moment. Push that with all of the other emotional baggage that she had collected this week. It was getting pretty crowded in there.  
  
"Where should I park?“ Clint asked as they got closer to the campus. Alex told him the street closest to the science building. He found a parking spot, but put his hand to stop her from getting out. Alex just looked at him, but he reached over and pulled a gun out of the glove box. He slid it into the waistband of his jeans before getting out of the car. His eyes did a 360 scan before walking to Alex’s side and opening the door.   
  
"We get in, we get out, and that’s it. Now move,” Clint was all business and Alex was not going to argue.   
  
They moved quickly to the science building and up the steps to the glass doors. Alex put her hand on the door and attempted to open it, only for it to resist her. She pulled again before she remembered a very vital thing she was missing.    
  
“Damn,” Alex said as she pulled on the door again, making them rattle.  
  
“What?” Clint’s eyes were still scanning, his fingers twitching against his leg.  
  
“All the buildings are locked unless you have a student I.D., which I don’t have on me. It’s between classes so we have to wait for someone to come and open the door.”  Alex couldn’t believe that she had forgotten that she couldn’t get in without her I.D. She didn’t doubt that Clint could bypass it with some technology, but she had wanted this to be easy and for everything to just be over.  
  
"Let’s go, I don’t like being out in the open without backup,“ Clint said as he put his hand on her arm.   
  
She was about to go with him when she spotted someone coming down the steps toward them. Alex peered through the glass and smiled when she recognized the bouncing curls coming in her direction. The glass door swung open and Monica gave her a dazzling smile, not that her smiles were ever anything but dazzling.   
  
"Hey girl, what are you doing here on a Friday?” Monica asked as Alex and Clint hurried into the building. “And who’s your friend? And what the hell did you do to yourself now?” Monica grabbed her hands and looked at her bandaged wrist.  
  
“The usual,” Alex said vaguely.  
  
“Right,” Monica looked Clint over from head to toe, her eyes narrowing. “Anything to do with him?” Obviously she hadn’t forgotten the very scary man from the day before. Clint wasn’t making a good case for being just your average Joe since he was staring at her as well and had arms the size of logs.   
  
"Kind of, but not in the way you think. It’s an insanely long and very complicated story, but this is a friend, an actual friend, and he is making sure nothing else happens to me for the foreseeable future. Please don’t ask questions,“ Alex said, cutting Monica off before she could say anything. "Just take your stuff, get out of the building, and hopefully I will see you on Tuesday."   
  
"Your skinny white ass better be there or you’re going to need a bodyguard,” Monica said looking to Clint. “And we are getting drinks afterwards and you are telling me every damn detail."   
  
"I promise Monica, just please get somewhere safe. If you can get anyone else in the building out do that too,” Alex squeezed the other girl’s hand.  
  
“No classes in here today, remember? They are fumigating over the weekend and want everyone out by three. I just came to grab some papers for one of the sisters that is sick. You’re going to give me wrinkles,” Monica said. However, Alex must have looked worried enough that Monica took her advice. She headed out the door and walked quickly into the mass of people on the street. She blended in almost immediately.  
  
"Well at least we don’t have to worry about that many students. Where are we heading?“ Clint asked.   
  
"Lost and found, this way,” Alex started off down the hall.   
  
"Wait, you’re telling me this artifact has been sitting in the school lost and found all this time?“ Clint asked in disbelief. “Not only that, but you knew where it was? We’ve been looking all week and it’s in a cardboard box in the back of a closet?”  
  
“Actually, until Tuesday, it was in a storage drain outside the building. I thought I’d be nice and took it to lost and found.” Alex explained as they down the hallway and toward the science library, which also housed the lost and found. “I didn’t say anything because how I was I supposed to know it was an alien artifact?”  
  
“I use to think that I had bad luck, but you, you are on a whole other level,” Clint sighed. They reached the library, with the single student standing behind the desk looking bored out of her mind. She was probably counting down the minutes until she got to leave.  
  
“Hi, I think my bracelet was turned into the lost and found,” Alex said trying to seem upbeat and personable.  
  
"What does it look like,” the student didn’t even look from the magazine she was flipping through.  
  
“Well, it has three silver bands and turquoise stones placed into it. It also has these weird markings cut into the silver.” Alex dropped the nice act and tapped impatiently on the desk. For some reason she felt as if the Hydra agents were right behind them, like she would be caged at any minute. It probably didn’t help that Clint was still tapping his fingers against his leg and kept his head on a swivel.   
  
"Give me a minute,” The girl sighed before heading into a room behind the desk, still without looking up at Alex.   
  
“We’ve been here too long,” Clint whispered into her ear.  
  
“You want to shoot her to get her to move faster?” Alex asked him.   
  
“She isn’t top of the list of people I want to perform bodily harm to,” Clint snapped back.   
  
Alex rolled her eyes and the girl returned with a cardboard box. She dropped it with a thud on the desk and turned her attention back to her magazine. Alex felt her fingers curl into a fist, but grabbed the box and pulled it toward her instead. Her lip curled up as she started to paw through the assorted forgotten items that had been brought to the lost and found. There was an alarming amount of socks and sets of keys. How did you get far without either of those things?  
  
Finally, her fingers closed on something that was cold and metallic. She pulled it out and in her fingers was the small piece of jewelry that she had almost been killed over. It didn’t look any more impressive now that she knew what it was, but she did notice that it seemed to vibrate ever so slightly against her skin. Was it doing that before or was she just imagining it?  
  
“Thank you ever so much for your help.” Sarcasm dripped from every letter as Alex turned and left the library with Clint beside her.  
  
“Alright, let’s get you the hell out of here,” Clint put his hand on her back and started to propel her toward the door at an alarming speed.  
  
“You want this?” Alex held the bracelet out to him, but Clint shied away from it.  
  
“I like to keep things that are known to have mind controlling properties as far away from my body as humanly possible.” Clint said as they turned the corner, almost running into a girl on her cell phone.  
  
“Sounds like someone had a bad experience,” Alex gave him a look.  
  
“Everything leading up the Battle of New York was not a great time for me,” Clint said shortly as they reached the front door.  
  
Alex didn’t know what made her look to the right after she pushed open the door, but she saw the woman in all black before Clint did. She took a decisive step backward as the door was ripped out of her hand and the woman charged forward. Clint didn’t even have time to draw his gun before she was on him, knocking him to the ground. Alex brought her leg back and smashed her combat boot into the girl’s stomach. She rolled off Clint, who sprung to his feet as two more men came through the door.      
  
Clint pushed Alex behind him before going at the two new assailants. One swung his gun around and Clint grabbed his wrist, snapping it back without hesitation, which caused a sickening crack and the gun dropped. Clint got him good in the jaw while kicking the other one closing in on him in the stomach.  
  
Alex slipped the bracelet onto her wrist, mostly because her palms were so sweaty that she was scared that she was going to drop it, before slipping on her brass knuckles. Then she landed an uppercut onto the third man, who had gotten back onto his feet. He stumbled backward and Alex hit him with a left hook before bringing her boot up right between his legs. Her wrist was screaming, but she felt a lot better.  
  
Three more people in black came through the door and Clint backed up, still in front of Alex, to assess the situation. His nose was bleeding and his face was bleak as he kept pushing Alex down the hallway.  
  
“Just hand over the bracelet and the girl, and we’ll make this painless,” a female voice called. A voice that made Alex’s blood run cold. Nadia walked to the front of the group, a small smile on her face.  
  
“Did you come to return my arrow?” Clint’s voice was flippant, but his body language was tense. He was running through the scenarios in his head and none of them ended well for him and Alex.  
  
“I came to return the favor,” She said as she leveled her gun at the two of them.  
Alex stopped breathing and figured this was it, this was how she was going to die, over a god damn alien bracelet in the fucking science building. She wanted to apologize to Clint, that she was sorry that he was going to get killed because she was a stubborn dumbass, but all she did was stand there and stare at the gun.  
  
That’s how she saw the shield coming, smacking Nadia right in the back and causing her to drop her gun before it bounced back out the door. Sam came in almost right after it, getting one of the taller Hydra members in a choke hold. Clint launched at the nearest person when Steve came barreling through the door. There was screaming and cursing and suddenly Alex wasn’t frozen anymore.  
  
Alex ran.  
  
It was only when she turned the corner that she realized her legs were taking her to the stairwell. She knew the building well and knew that there was a locked student lounge on the fourth floor. She hit the stairs running and got up to the fourth floor as she heard someone enter the stairwell after her. She ran full speed down the hall and hung a sharp right, almost skidding into a vending machine, before regaining her feet and charging toward the lounge. Usually students just used their cards to swipe in, but there was also a security guard desk right in front of the door.   
  
She turned the corner and there was no one behind the desk. Alex would have screamed in frustration except she was out of breath. Instead the flung herself at the door. She pounded on it, hoping someone would open up. She looked through the door her heart sank when she realized that there was no one in there. She stopped pounding on the door and took a step back. Maybe if she hid behind the desk until the security guard came back? 

 “Hello Alexandra.” Alex turned to see Grant standing there, a smile on his face. “Long time no see."  


	15. Chapter 15

“Grant,” Alex said as she gripped onto the desk to keep herself from falling over or running. “I would like to say this was a pleasant surprise, but my mother told me never to lie.”  
  
“You’re entertaining, I’ll give you that,” Grant said with a smile, like they were chatting over coffee. “But I don’t have time to have witty banter with you. And honestly, neither do you. Hand over the bracelet, now.”  
  
The most terrifying thing about the threat was that Grant’s expression didn’t change, he still had the charming half smile and relaxed body posture. His eyes just got darker, that was it. Like a cat knowing that there was nowhere else for the mouse to run. Alex didn’t doubt for a moment that he would kill her without a second of hesitation. He really was a piece of work.  
  
“I gave it to Clint,” Alex lied as she scooted around the desk, attempting to put something between them. It wasn’t lost on her that she just made herself a hypocrite. However, she knew this was a fight she wouldn’t be able to win and needed to do something to stay alive. She would say a few Hail Mary’s or whatever she was supposed to do later. She was sure God, Odin, or whoever was in charge of these types of things would understand.  
  
Alex didn’t think for a moment she could outrun Grant, but she was hoping someone would show up to save her before he decided that he didn’t want to play cat and mouse anymore. Hell, there were three superheroes and maybe an assassin around. One of them would show up eventually, right? She wasn’t a hero and had no thoughts that she was. She just wanted to stay alive long enough to fail her Bio exam.  
  
As if on cue, she heard footsteps coming down the hallway. Alex almost smiled until she differentiate the sound from the pounding in her ears. Her heart sank when she heard the clicking of heels on the linoleum.  
  
“Ward, we don’t have time for this,” a female voice came along with the heels down the hallway. Grant swore under his breath. Alex felt as if she was going to vomit.  
  
“Nadia, I have it covered,” Grant said to the blonde with the scar as she added the last point of their triangle.  
  
Fear froze Alex in place. The fear wasn’t just because Nadia was there, but what it meant that she was there and Clint, Steve, and Sam weren’t. She couldn’t have killed them. They were superheroes for God’s sake. Steve had defeated the Red Skull! Yet, Alex could see the blood on Nadia’s sleeve as she pointed a gun at Alex’s chest. Blood that did not seem to be hers. It didn’t look like anyone had laid a hand on her.  
  
“You have become so soft Ward,” Nadia sighed as she looked at him. “All that time with S.H.I.E.L.D made you forget what we are fighting for. What needs to be done to achieve it. What is she in the grand scheme of things?”  
  
“Absolutely nothing, which is why you should let me go.” Alex said. Both Hydra agents glared at her for a moment before going back to glaring at one another.  
  
“I haven’t forgotten my mission,” Grant’s jaw clenched. “You just think too small. She is more of an asset alive than dead.”  
  
“Where is the bracelet?” Nadia rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Alex.  
  
“I gave it to Clint.” Alex’s voice shook as the words tumbled past her lips.  
  
“I thought your mother told you not to lie, Alexandra.” Grant click his tongue as he pulled out his gun and leveled it at her as well.  
  
“My mother never had two killers pointing guns at her,” Alex pointed out. She thought she would be more afraid to have guns pointed at her, but they just didn’t look real. She had held guns before, knew what they felt like, but at that moment her brain kept telling her they were fake. It was all just something out of a movie. They couldn’t hurt her. This couldn’t actually be happening to her.  
  
“I can change that,” Nadia said with a smile.  
  
“I don’t suggest it,” Alex replied, each word clipped. Anger rose in her so quickly and so passionately that it scared her a little. An image of her wrapping her fingers around Nadia’s throat flashed in her mind so real she could feel the muscles in her arm tightened. It was terrifying. Alex glared at Nadia, her jaw clenched as she met Nadia’s eyes without flinching. Alex was more than willing to get shot if it meant that this woman would never be in the same zip code as her mother and father. Grace Harper could shoot a groundhog out of her garden with an ancient rifle at 500 feet. However, if she couldn’t see the danger she couldn’t protect herself from it.  
  
“We don’t want to hurt anyone unnecessarily. We just want what we came for,” Grant said slowly, seeing the change in Alex’s demeanor.  
  
“Speak for yourself,” Nadia said with a glance at Ward.  
  
“Alexandra, just give us the bracelet,” Ward sighed. He reached out his hand free hand, gun still pointed at her.  
  
Alex was out of options, she had to hand over the bracelet. For all her talk, she really did not want to die over a stupid alien artifact. There was always another plan, another way to stop them from using it to do something horrible. It wasn’t worth her dying over. She pushed up her sleeve, revealing the bracelet, and slid it off her wrist.  
  
“This is the first smart thing I think I’ve seen you do,” Grant smiled as he took a step forward.  
  
“Ward,” Nadia said without taking her eyes off Alex, “I think she should give it to me for safe keeping.”  
  
“What?” Alex and Grant said at the same time, both narrowing their eyes at Nadia.  
  
“You have a target on your back, being ex-S.H.I.E.L.D. and all. It would be better for you to stay here, draw them out and away from the bracelet, be a decoy while I take the bracelet back to our superiors,” Nadia explained evenly.  
  
“Or you can take it back to your old Russian handlers,” Grant countered. “You think I didn’t know you were still in contact with them?”  
  
Nadia actually turned and gave him a cold glare. Alex looked between the two of them and tried to figure out who to give the bracelet to that would end with her not getting shot. If she handed it to Grant, Nadia would probably shoot them both out of rage and take the bracelet from their corpses. Then again, if she gave it to Nadia, she would probably shoot them both anyway.  
  
“I don’t have time for this,” Nadia finally sighed as she turned the gun toward Grant and fired. Grant saw her move and drove behind the desk. Alex had ducked behind it as soon as Nadia turned. Grant returned a few rounds over the top, but didn’t hit her.  
  
“Backstabbing Russian bitch,” Grant screamed over the desk at her.  
  
“глупый американский червь,” Nadia said back.  
  
Grant rolled his eyes and reached out to Alex to get the bracelet. She held it close to her and kicked him hard in the chest. The bracelet was literally the only bargaining tool she had and she wasn’t about to give it to Grant. Also, it was slightly out of spite.  
  
The sound of heels on linoleum caught both Alex and Grant’s attention. He got up to return fire while she peeked around the edge of the desk. She needed to find a way to get the hell out of there. One of Grant’s bullets shattered the window behind Nadia, sending glass flying everywhere. Nadia threw up her arm to cover her face as she fired a few more times at Grant. Alex was the only one who saw the man coming through the broken window.  
  
Then Grant did, and he leveled his gun at James. Alex stretched out and kicked out at him, getting Grant behind the knee, sending the shot wide. Nadia noticed James then and swung her gun around to fire at him. James grabbed it with his metal hand and twisted, making her cry out in pain and drop the gun. His other hand shot out and hit her in the throat. Nadia coughed and stumbled backward, but she wasn’t going to down that easy. She was Russian after all.  
  
At this point, Grant regained a little composure. He decided that it was better for James and Nadia to kill each other and turned his attention to Alex. He pointed the gun at her leg and fired, but Alex moved her limb in time that it didn’t get her. She scuttled backward as Grant fired again. Part of her wondered why he was so determined to keep her alive, but she wasn’t going to question it.  
  
However, as she avoided the gun shots she moved out from behind the desk. The bracelet cut into her palm as she continued to scramble backwards. Then James was between the two of them. His mental hand lashed out, hitting Grant hard on the left side of his face, which was quickly followed by a roundhouse kick that knocked the gun out of Grant’s hand. Then Nadia was at James again, knife in her hand, her arms and legs moving quickly. The knife slashed James’s side and her foot connected behind his leg, forcing him down onto one knee. He brought his elbow back and got her in the stomach before turning to take on both her and Grant.  
  
Alex got to her feet, her knees shaking, and attempted to figure out what to do. She could run, but there might be more Hydra agents and possibly no Sam, Steve, or Clint to save her. She couldn’t think about them being dead, it wasn’t possible, but they might have been in really bad shape. She also couldn’t leave James, but this was a fight that she knew that she wasn’t at all equipped to join. The red fire alarm caught her eyes. Since the shooting hadn’t brought a police response, maybe a fire would.  
  
She slipped on the floor when she tried to get up because she was still holding onto the bracelet. A frustrated growl escaped her as she put the bracelet on her wrist and ran. The glass crunched under her boots as she crossed the linoleum. Her fingers brushed against the lever when someone grabbed onto her hair and dragged her backward.  
  
“ты, маленькая сука,” Nadia growled.  
  
Alex brought her foot up and grabbed onto her switchblade before she was whipped around to face Nadia. There was blood dripping from Nadia’s nose and mouth as her hands closed around Alex’s throat. Alex stumbled against the wall and tried to break Nadia’s grip, but it was impossible. Alex was gasping for air as ringing started in her ears. There was also another sound, like a wind chime that was playing a single high note.  
  
In an attempt to pry Nadia’s fingers away from her skin, Alex dug her nails into Nadia’s wrist. It didn’t even phase Nadia, she was too strong. Alex’s knees gave out underneath her and she started to slide down the wall, black dots dancing in front of her eyes.  
  
The note got louder and started to sound like words in a language Alex didn’t understand. Alex stopped clawing at Nadia’s hand and focused completely on getting the blade out. Finally, she flicked it open, cutting her finger in the process. She brought it up and slashed it across Nadia’s wrist, forcing the Russian woman to let go of her throat.  
  
Gasping for air, Alex moved down the wall away from Nadia. However, she could barely keep her legs underneath herself. Nadia was putting pressure on her wrist and had murder in her eyes. She pulled a knife from her boot, a lot larger than Alex’s, and moved forward. Alex knew that her switch blade wasn’t going to do a damn thing to save her.  
  
A shadow appeared behind Nadia. James placed his hands on either side of Nadia’s face and snapped her neck with no hesitation. Alex put her hand over her mouth to muffle her scream as the body fell with a thump onto the floor, eyes staring blankly, neck at an awkward angle. Alex’s eyes went to James and met his blue eyes, they were cold and calculating. She couldn’t tell if he was himself or if he had fallen back into his programming. There was no remorse in them.  
  
James took a step toward Alex, but was forced to spin and block a punch from Grant. The Hydra agent looked like hell, but was still on his feet. She was sure he took some grim satisfaction out of the fact he survived longer than Nadia. All Alex could do was just sit there and the two men danced around one another, throwing kicks and punches with deadly precision.  
  
As she watched them, she heard the sound of music coming from somewhere. She prayed some freshmen wasn’t about to walk into a war zone. Then she realized it wasn’t music exactly, more like tones, but that wasn’t right either. She couldn’t explain the sound.  
  
Grant was obviously outmatched in the fight and he was fading fast, but he couldn’t leave empty handed. He needed either Alex, James, or the bracelet.  
  
Alex decided it was time to remove herself from the equation. She didn’t think she could watch another person die, or watch James kill someone else. With a lot of effort she pulled herself away from the wall. She couldn’t pull the alarm anymore, James had just killed a woman. They would arrest him for that alone, forget everything else. She had to find Steve.  
  
The ringing in her ears had subsided a little, but it was still there in the background. Her wrist started to burn and she looked down to see that the skin around the bracelet was red. She reached down to pull the bracelet off, but as soon as her skin touched it, the ringing got worse as well as amplifying the tones that she had heard before.  
  
Alex let go and her attention was brought to the fight as James’s metal arm put a hole through the drywall. Grant brought his knee up and smashed it into James’s stomach. James’s free hand came around and broke Grant’s nose. Grant put all of his weight onto James’s left side and they went down. James ended up on top, but Grant grabbed Nadia’s gun from the floor and had a gun pressed to James’s temple, finger on the trigger. At the moment Alex swore that time stopped. She saw Grant’s finger tighten on the trigger as James’s metal fingers tightened onto his throat. They were both focusing in on the kill.  
  
“No, Don’t,” Alex screamed and both men froze. “Don’t move.” She said again. She couldn’t see James die and she didn’t want to watch him kill someone else.  
  
The ringing in Alex’s head was getting worse, but she pushed it away to keep her focus on Grant. The tones were louder, but they also were separating themselves and she was hearing words. Her brain finally caught up to what was going on. She had only screamed because she had no other option, but she was wearing a bracelet could be used for mind control. Alex was hearing and controlling their thoughts.  
  
Pushing away how terribly unsettling that was, she focused in on Grant’s thoughts. It was hard to describe the difference between Grant’s and James’s thought waves, it was unlike anything else she had experienced. The closest she could get to was musical tones, which was how her mind has been interpreting them. James’s was a tenor while Grant was an alto. She hadn’t meant to get both of them with the mental hold, honestly didn’t mean to get either of them, but it wasn’t like the bracelet came with an instruction manual.  
  
“Take your finger off the trigger and move the gun away from his head,” Alex spoke slowly, concentrating on Grant, and watched in amazement as Grant slowly followed her commands. However, James wasn’t moving. Alex was very careful to slowly let go of only his thoughts.  
  
James sprang to his feet, his eyes still on Grant, as he moved over to stand beside Alex. She could feel his thoughts, a hum of worry among the ringing, but she didn’t focus on them. Grant was fighting against her now and it took all her concentration to keep him under her control. It was hard to do with the pain in her wrist intensifying. She had to get rid of Grant and get the bracelet off.  
  
“You are going to call your boss and tell them that the bracelet is lost,” Alex felt the bracelet tighten again and her skin burning around it, but she pushed on anyway. “You are going to say that I’m no longer a person of interest for Hydra. You’re going to make it convincing.”  
  
“Can I get up?” Grant asked between clenched teeth. Alex could hear all the awful things he was calling her in his mind. The bracelet tightened again, the ringing increased, and Alex glared.  
  
“You can sit up,” Alex corrected, though she heard her voice waver.  
  
“You move in a way I don’t like, I’ll snap your neck,” James’s added, his voice cold.  
  
Alex watched as Grant slowly sat up, glaring at both of them, and slid his cell phone out of his pocket. As he hit the contact on his phone, a sharp pain shot from Alex’s wrist up to her heart. She bit down hard on her lip and focused on his thoughts. If he said the wrong thing now she was never going to be free of Hydra. Then again, she probably also wouldn’t live all that long to worry about it.  
  
“Yeah, it’s me,” Grant kept his eyes locked on Alex. “The bracelet has been taken by S.H.I.E.L.D. Nadia attempted to take it for herself and was stopped by Captain America. The girl? Dead end, apparently S.H.I.E.L.D was using her as a decoy to draw out the cell. Nadia fell for it and moved in without my approval. They’ve since dropped the surveillance and from our monitoring she doesn’t know anything. No, she isn’t a threat. Just a stupid college student. You’ll have my full report tomorrow.”  
  
Alex almost didn’t hear the last part of the conversation and therefore didn’t care about the quip about stupid college students. The ringing became unbearable. She took a deep breath and focused. She had to finish this. However, her thoughts started to turn dark, ones that were not her own and not coming from the men. They were the color red and wanted her to kill Grant. Hadn’t he put her through enough? Shouldn’t she make him suffer the way that she had suffered? How many people would she save by killing him now?  
  
“You are going to say nothing about what happened or what you saw since you stepped foot onto campus in the report. The bracelet was at the safe house. You lost your men at the safe house. Nadia betrayed you at the safe house. You’re going to forget what happened here and you are going to forget me. Do you understand?” She barely heard herself speaking and James’s thoughts of concern were starting to come through the ringing. The compulsion to tell Grant to put the gun to his head and shot himself was also making it hard for her to think.  
  
“Yes,” Grant said shortly. Slowly, a blank look start to enter his eyes, not unlike James when he went into killer mode. A chill ran through Alex when she realized she had basically just done to Grant what someone had done to James at some point. Her stomach flipped and self-loathing bubbled in her stomach.  
  
“Get in your car and get out of the city.” Alex leaned back against the desk as her legs started to wobble. She was in pain and the dark thoughts were screaming at her, telling her to not let Grant go, to finish this for sure right now.  
  
“I shouldn’t let him leave,” James was close enough that when he spoke it over the sound of the ringing. This only fueled the dark thoughts, telling them to listen to James, to make James happy, to kill Grant.  
  
“It’s more convincing if he returns unharmed,” Alex was breathing heavily and barely keeping her hold on Grant’s thoughts. She watched as he calmly walked down the hall and disappeared into the stairwell. Everything in her brain was telling her to kill Grant, she could basically see his brain splattered against the walls of the hallway. The bracelet was burning into her skin.  
  
“James, get this fucking thing off me,” Alex gasped once she felt that Grant was far enough away to let go of her hold on him.  
  
James’s hands were on the bracelet in a matter of seconds. However, it had tightened to the point that it was almost burrowing into her skin. He couldn’t get his fingers between the bracelet and her wrist. Alex was shaking and leaned her head against his chest in an attempt to conserve her energy as the ringing overtook all of her senses. Now it was telling her to kill James, to take the switchblade still in her hand and slit his throat. He was a threat and she needed to be safe.  
  
“Cut my damn hand off! Just do something!” Alex cried as her knees gave out underneath her. She put the switchblade against her skin and James quickly grabbed onto her hand. He held on tightly as she willed herself to let go, her brain screaming to bring it up and slash it against James’s face or neck. As soon as the blade was out of her hand, her thoughts moved to taking his hunting knife and plunging it into his chest. The dark thoughts wanted to watch him bleed, to see him suffer.  
  
James put his arm around her and sat her on the desk. He pulled out his hunting knife, the same one he was going to use to butter bagels that first morning, the same one she had thought about killing him with, and for a minute Alex thought he was actually going to chop her hand off. Instead he turned it so that it was flat and slid it between the bracelet and her skin, tearing the red skin. He tilted the knife up, causing more cuts along her wrist, but also giving him enough space to get his metal fingers underneath the bracelet. He wrenched it apart with some effort and threw it onto the desk.  
  
Alex sobbed against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, stroking her hair. She wrapped her arms around him and counted his heartbeats, letting the pain in her head subside, letting the fear wash over her. She could still see herself killing James, she could feel the anger and darkness from those thoughts pulsing through her. It was terrifying and sickening.  
  
But they were both alive, they were both safe for the moment, and it was all over.  
  
“Alexandra,” James said softly as he pulled away a little to look at her. “Are you alright?” He used his thumbs to wipe away her tears.  
  
“Not even a little bit,” Alex sniffled. “Are you?”  
  
“Thanks to you,” James leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “Did it do something to you? Do you feel ill?”  
  
“It did while it was on, but…I think I’m fine now. I don’t know. I just don’t know,” Alex put her head against his chest again and closed her eyes.  
  
“Я не позволю ничего случиться с вами,” James stroked her hair and spoke to her softly in Russian. She could only form one coherent thought.  
  
“I still don’t speak Russian,” she muttered. James laughed softly at this and he held her tightly against him and kissed the top of her head once again.  
  
“Someone is coming,” James whispered, his body tensing.  
  
“I can’t do another battle. I can’t,” Alex whispered as she tightened her grip on him.  
  
“It’s Steve and his friends. He still puts a little more weight on his right leg over his left when he runs,” James’s voice held a note of fondness.  
  
“You need to go,” Alex said as she leaned back. It was hard for her to focus on him, her head was killing her, but she attempted to keep her thoughts in order. There was a dead body and James was the only one that they would blame for it. Clint and Sam would want to arrest him and Steve would be put in an awkward situation. It would be better to explain the whole mind controlling bracelet thing without an assassin who has been known to kill people hanging around.  
  
“I am not leaving you alone,” James’s voice was fierce as he tightened his grip on her.  
  
“If you don’t leave now then Lord knows when I’ll see you again. I will need you later, not now,” Alex explained, though it wasn’t convincing since she could barely keep her head up.  
  
“Alex…” James’s face was pained as he looked at her. It was obvious that he was torn about leaving her. Everything was telling him to run, his common sense and his training, but his emotions were telling him to stay and comfort her.  
  
“Go,” Alex heard the door to the stairwell open. “Now!”  
  
James gave her one last look before he pressed his lips to her forehead and jumped out of the window. Any other time that would have made her worry, but she figured he knew what he was doing.  
  
Steve, Sam, and Clint came barreling down the hallway, skidding to a stop in front of Alex. Steve didn’t look too bad, though his knuckles were bloodied. Sam knelt down and put his fingers against Nadia’s neck, even though she was clearly dead. He had blood running down his arm, but other than that he didn’t look too beat up. Clint swept the area, his gun drawn and his eyes moving. He was bleeding pretty badly from his face and a wound on his side.  
  
“Alex! Are you okay? What happened? Where’s Grant? Where is the bracelet? Alexandra, are you alright?” Steve asked as he put his hands on her shoulders.  
  
“Please don’t speak so loudly,” Alex groaned as she attempted to keep herself upright. “I can’t answer all the questions at once.”  
  
“Let’s start with are you alright?” Steve didn’t let go of her shoulders, seeing that she was having trouble sitting up.  
  
“Physically yes, mentally…to be determined,” Alex said as she attempted to open her eyes and winced at the pain. It was like someone was stirring her brain around like soup. It hurt like hell.  
  
“Where’s the bracelet?” Steve said as he held her a little tighter.  
  
“Desk,” Alex rolled her head over in the direction and he moved to it. “Don’t touch it.” Alex said sharply as Steve stretched out his hand.  
  
“I have a container,” Steve pulled a circular container out of his pants pocket. “I need to get it into it.”  
  
“I will. I’ve already become intimate with the damn thing. There is no reason for anyone else to have to deal with that hell.” Alex’s hand shook as she reached out for the bracelet. She paused for a second before she touched it again. The ringing in her head was light as she literally tossed it into the container that Steve was holding. He closed it up quickly as Alex felt her whole body start to shake.  
  
“You look like hell,” Sam said as he walked over and put his arm around her. Alex leaned against him, feeling him wince a bit, and closed her eyes.  
  
“You don’t look much better, cupcake.” Alex attempted to laugh, but failed. Sam put his head on top of hers and pulled her tighter against his side.  
  
“What happened?” Clint asked as he walked over.  
  
“I don’t think now’s the time,” Sam snapped at him. He could feel how badly Alex was shaking.  
  
“No, not this time. Last time she didn’t tell us everything she grabbed my ass and got all of us into this mess. I am bleeding and haven’t slept in almost two days and not in the mood!” Clint snapped.  
  
“Sorry about that,” Alex opened her eyes to look at him. “What do you want to know?”  
  
“There is a dead body, Alexandra, maybe explain that,” Clint holstered his gun. Alex’s attention moved behind Clint as two men, who she guessed were former S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, grabbed said body and carted it off.  
  
“I ran up here to try and get into the student lounge because the door automatically locks. There is also usually a security guard. The door was locked, I didn’t have my student I.D., and the security guard is nowhere to be seen. That’s when Grant showed up, he wanted the bracelet, then Nadia showed up, and she wanted the bracelet. They got into an argument, then they got into a disagreement, and then he snapped her neck.” Alex tried to sound unemotional about the whole thing, but tears were escaping from her eyes. Sam rubbed her arm as she spoke, providing her a little support.  
  
“Where did you even find the bracelet?” Sam asked.  
  
“I put it in the lost and found on Tuesday,” Alex pushed off him and tried to pull herself together.  
  
“Please tell me you’re joking,” Steve was looking at her like she had three heads.  
  
“I really wish I was,” Alex gave him a small half smile.  
  
Sam let go of her and just looked down at her, then he rolled his eyes and shook his head. She knew how he felt, it was all just a little too much.  
  
Steve looked at her for another beat before he walked over and wrapped his arms around her. Alex laughed a little as she put her arms around him as well. He rubbed small circles on her lower back and she held onto him. She wasn’t sure why he was hugging her, but she wasn’t going to complain. She started crying again, just letting out all the emotions she had held in all week.  
  
“I want to go home,” Alex finally said against Steve’s chest. “I want to go back to my life.”  
  
“Okay, okay,” Steve held her against him and stroked her hair. “We can do that.”  
  
“You sure that’s a good idea?” Clint asked as he pressed the edge of his shirt to his nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding. “Grant is still in the wind.”  
  
“He won’t be a problem,” Alex said, pulling away from Steve, even though it took all of her energy to do it. “He is without a cell of Hydra agents, without the Winter Solider, and now without the bracelet. He’ll go underground for a while if he is anywhere near as intelligent as I think he is.”  
  
“Or he’ll try to track the Winter Solider, therefore track you.” Clint countered even as Steve glared at him. “Hey, someone has to be practical about this.”  
  
“Unless someone did something to change that,” Sam pointed to the blood that was seeping through Alex’s sleeve. “You said you had been intimate with the bracelet.”  
  
All three men looked at her expectantly. With a sigh, Alex rolled up her sleeve to show where the bracelet and cut into her skin. Sam shook his head and pulled a bandage out of his pocket and set about wrapping up the new, and hopefully last, wound.  
  
“Do you just carry those around with you now?” Alex asked when he was finished.  
  
“Only when I know you’re going to be around,” Sam said with a small smirk.  
  
“You couldn’t have given it to me?” Clint asked, still dabbing at the blood on his face.  
  
“Red is more your color,” Sam countered with a smile before turning back to Alex. “What the hell made you think it was a good idea to put that on? Who hears, alien artifact that might be able to control people’s minds and decides that it would be fine to just wear for a few minutes?”  
  
“Honestly, I was scared of dropping it,” Alex said, which startled a laugh out of Sam. “And Clint wouldn’t take it.”  
  
“Hey,” Clint put his hands up in defense when Sam and Steve both glared at him. “I knew how dangerous it could be, didn’t have a container for it, and she’d touched it already. Plus, I had to be alert to threats.”  
  
“It’s good you didn’t take it, or I’d be dead right now,” Alex added before Steve or Sam yelled at Clint. “I used it because I had no other choice. That’s when it decided it wanted to control my mind and have me cut off my arm, not necessarily in that order.”  
  
“Did you make Grant do that?” Steve nodded his head to where Nadia had been.  
  
“No! God, no,” Alex shivered at the thought of having that power over someone. “Nadia wanted to take the bracelet for herself while Grant wanted to give it to Hydra. They fought, on their own, and Grant came out on top.” It was about as plausible as what actually happened.  
  
“Then what?” Steve prompted.  
  
“Then I commanded Grant to call his handler, tell them I was no longer of interest, and made him forget that he ever knew anything about me before leaving.” Alex felt a chill set in her bones as she realized that she had so much control over him. At that moment she could have told him to kill himself and he would have. Hell, her mind was telling her, compelling her, to tell him to kill himself. No one should have the type of power.  
  
Then her thoughts turned to Nadia and how, while she didn’t tell anyone to kill her, she was still dead. James had killed her without a second of hesitation to keep Alex safe. The thought made her shiver. There hadn’t been an ounce of regret or recognition in his eyes when he looked at her afterwards.  
  
“You just let him walk out?” Clint’s voice rose, bringing Alex back to the conversation.  
  
“I thought it’d be more convincing,” Alex didn’t have the energy to raise her voice back, “besides I was dealing with the bracelet burrowing into my skin.”  
  
“How did you get that off?” Steve asked as he helped her off of the desk and put his arm around her to keep her on her feet.  
  
“Determination and my switch.” Alex didn’t know if it was because she was so completely drained or because she had been lying so much, but she had become quite good at it. She picked up the switch blade, wiped it on her shirt, and slide it back into her boot. When Sam was done bandaging her up, he helped her to her feet and they all started down the hall.   
  
“How are you going to explain what happened at the college? What happened with you guys? What took so long?” Alex tried not to focus on the pain in her wrist.  
  
“We have a lot of people that can take care of PR side of things,” Clint said as he started down the steps. Sam appeared on Alex’s right side and between him and Steve, she made it down the stairs.  
  
“And for the other Hydra members?” Alex asked.  
  
“Most are in custody,” Clint said vaguely. He didn’t have to spell it out of Alex, some of them had been killed.  
  
“So, you’re taking me back to my apartment?” Alex asked as they moved to the front doors of the building. There were no bodies, no blood, just damage to the drywall to show that a battle had happened there.  
  
“Well, you made the safe house no longer safe, Hydra knows that we have the bracelet, so that ends that threat, the Winter Solider is in the wind, and you apparently wiped Ward’s memory so…” Clint trailed off as they walked out into the sun soaked world. “I don’t see why, not as long as we have a bit of surveillance on it for a while.”  
  
The cold air was shocking, but it was what Alex needed. The ringing was still in her ears, but it helped the headache. However, she didn’t let go of either Sam or Steve as they moved to the street. Steve let go and Sam bundled her into the car.  
  
“What are you going to do when you don’t have to shove me into the back of SUVs battered and bleeding anymore?” Alex asked Sam as Steve slid into the driver’s seat and pulled into traffic.  
  
“Oh, I’m sure I’ll find some other damsel in distress to save all the time,” Sam laughed as he held onto her.  
  
“I’m going to be replaced? I’m offended,” Alex laughed.  
  
“Honey, I don’t think that anyone is ever going to need saving as much as you do. I have never met someone with worse luck,” Sam laughed.  
  
“Steve, I want hazard pay for this job,” Clint was looking at his face in the mirror and wincing as he touched different places around his nose.  
  
“Clint, you’re an assassin. Your whole job is a hazard,” Steve gave him a look and a small smile.  
  
“But what about my dashing good looks?” Clint asked.  
  
“Chicks dig scars,” Alex said, which made Steve laughed. Clint gave her a look in the rearview mirror, but didn’t say anything.  
  
They were all quiet the rest of the ride to Alex’s apartment aside from Clint muttering about his nose and his good looks. No one paid any attention to him, all wrapped up in their own thoughts. Alex was attempting to get the vision of violent deaths out of her head, but it was difficult. Her thoughts had almost been taken over by that bracelet and she had used its power to take away Grant’s free will. She closed her eyes and focused on the sound of New York traffic.  
  
“Home again, home again,” Sam said to her as the SUV pulled up the curb outside her apartment.  
  
Everyone piled out of the car and moved like zombies up all the flights of stairs to her apartment. Alex had to lean against the door while she unlocked the door and everyone stumbled in.  
  
“Beers in the fridge,” Alex sighed as she moved to her room and started stripping off clothing. She then moved into the bathroom, not even looking at herself in the mirror, and cleaned up a bit. When she reemerged she had the three Avengers sitting at her kitchen table, drinking beers, and staring into space.  
  
“Please tell me that you’re all going to sleep and someone else is going to be watching the place,” Alex said as she hopped onto the counter and looked at them.  
  
“Hill got someone to watch the place from across the street. We figured Clint could use the night off.” Steve explained as he rubbed his eyes.   
  
“It’s not like he was doing that great a job anyway,” Sam said with a smile. “I am going to get very close and intimate with your couch. So yes, I will be getting some sleep."   
  
"Sam, that isn’t necessary. You should get some actual sleep, in a bed. I’ve put you three out enough,” Alex protested. She didn’t want to be alone, but she had a feeling that James was close by, waiting until they left to find a way into the apartment. She was also worried about the men sitting around her table. She had made their week hell and they deserved some time away from her.  
  
“I slept on the ground with a rock for a pillow, the couch will be fine. Besides, I’m still hunting the Winter Soldier and you’re my best lead. I think I’ll stick around for a bit,” Sam got to his feet and stretched, wincing as he did so. “I’m going to go grab my stuff from the car.”  
  
“I guess that’s our cue to leave,” Clint said as he put the empty beer bottle on the table and stood. He had blood caked all over his face and looked terrible. They stared at one another for a few beats before a huge grin spread across his face.  
  
“You’ve made the week interesting, that’s for sure. Take care of yourself. You have my number if you ever need anything,” Clint paused at the threshold of the door. “Just don’t call for like a month. I need some time to recover.”  
  
“Fair enough,” Alex laughed. “Thank you for everything, Clint.”  
  
“Hey, you grabbed my ass earlier, no need to get all formal now,” Clint laughed before he headed out the door.  
  
Alex and Steve stared at each other for a long moment before he brought the beer bottle up to his lips and downed the rest of its contents. He placed it on the table and slowly unfolded himself from the chair.  
  
“He was there, wasn’t he?” Steve finally asked.  
  
“Apparently you still favor your right leg a bit,” Alex said as her answer.  
  
Steve smiled sadly and looked down at his feet. Alex walked over, putting her hand on his forearm.  
  
“He’s confused. He’ll come around,” Alex reassured him.  
  
“Yeah, well,” Steve sighed and shook his head. “I’m not so sure about that. When we were talking after you went upstairs, it is still so cloudy to him. It comes and goes, one moment remembering everything and the next…I don’t know what they did or if he can recover.“   
  
"What about you? Are you going to be okay if his memories don’t come back?” Alex hopped up onto the counter and waited for his answer.  
  
Steve looked at his feet, his brow furrowed, and thought about his answer. Once again, it struck her how young he looked, how normal and vulnerable and human. At some point he had stopped being Captain America to her and started being just Steve, and her heart broke for him.   
  
“As long as he has his own will, I’ll learn to manage. We’ll figure something out, we always do,” Steve finally said, looking back up. "I’m glad he was around for you, both today and all week. The cell had hired local thugs and we were outnumbered. That’s what took us so long to get to you. If he hadn’t shown up…”  
  
“I would have thought of something. I always do,” Alex gave him a smile. “I usually don’t have superheroes around to save the day, remember.”  
  
Steve walked over and pulled her into a bear hug, which took her right off the counter. Alex laughed a little because she was surprised at the intensity. Her whole body ached, but she returned the hug just as fiercely. He held her for a few moments before letting go and taking a few steps back.   
  
"I’ll stop by tomorrow, there are some things I need to take care of today,” Steve said with a smile as Sam appeared in the doorway, duffle bag in hand.  
  
“Get some sleep Steve, you look like you need it,” Alex said with a smile.  
  
“I slept for some seventy years, I think I’m good,” Steve gave her one last smile before nodding to Sam on the way out.  
  
“So, are we going to have a pillow fight and do each other’s hair?” Sam laughed as he closed the door.  
  
“I am going to crawl into bed. You can use the shower, which I highly suggest, and then do whatever you want within reason,” Alex said. She suddenly felt bone tired, but also agitated. It felt like her insides were sitting on top of a washing machine.  
  
“Are you saying I smell?” Sam asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
“I’m saying I don’t want you to get blood all over my apartment,” Alex laughed as she pulled out the blankets and pillows from the closet. She dropped them on the couch before heading into her room and closing the door. She changed into the most comfy clothes she could find before crawling into bed.  
  
However, her brain wouldn’t shut off. How was she supposed to go back to her old life after everything had happened? A bracelet that came from outer space had almost made her kill a man earlier that day. A bracelet that may or may not have lasting effects on her. How did you just sit down and study biology and do your laundry?  
  
She counted her heart beats and kept her ear tuned for any sign of James reappearing. She needed him to be there, she needed him mumbling to her in Russian, she needed someone to hold her and tell her that she was safe. With Sam in the apartment she knew he wouldn’t show up, but God, how she wanted him to.  
  
At some point a late autumn storm has rolled in. Thunder rumbled outside and rain started to pound against her window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Russian Translations in order of appearance:
> 
> Nadia - stupid American worm  
> Nadia - you little bitch  
> James - I will not let anything happen to you


	16. Chapter 16

Alex was back outside the student’s lounge, the bracelet digging into her skin, James and Grant fighting by the window, the ringing in her ears distorting her senses. She tried to get her bearings, to figure out what was going on, but it was all too much for her to comprehend. Everything hurt.  
  
James moved in for the kill, his flesh hand wrapped around Grant’s throat and his metal hand punching into his chest. Grant’s mouth fell open and his face changed. He wasn’t the cocky agent anymore, he was a man and he was scared. Blood came out of his mouth as he parted his lips to take one last breath.  
  
Alex tried to scream, but she didn’t know if she did because the ringing was so loud. All she could do was watch the blood slide down James’s metal arm as he extracted his hand and tossed Grant to the side like a rag doll. James cold blue eyes turned to look at her.  
  
For the first time, Alex was truly scared of him. Not just of what he could do, but of James. He stalked toward her and she couldn’t tell which James it was. All she could focus on was the blood dripping off his metal fingers. Alex froze in place as he came over and stood in front of her. He opened his mouth and said something, but she couldn’t hear it over the ringing.  
  
“James?” She whispered, against not sure if he was going to comfort or kill her. His eyes were still ice blue.  
  
He spoke again and reached out to her. Alex was frozen in place out of fear and pain. She could feel Grant’s blood against her cheek, sticky and warm, and he cupped her face with both hands. Fear flooded her senses and all she could think about was James snapping Nadia’s neck in one fluid movement. Her wrist was on fire as she realized that she had to kill or be killed. He opened his mouth again and said something, his eyes flat. She saw his arm tense.  
  
Alex plunged her knife into his chest.  
  
James’s eyes got wide, he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Alex pushed the knife in further and felt the blood on her hands, slowly sliding up her arms. The ringing stopped long enough for her to hear what he had been saying.  
  
“I love you.”  
  
Alex woke up screaming. She was drenched in cold sweat and her whole body was shaking. Her scream was still echoing around the room as she heard footsteps coming toward her. A hand touched her shoulder and she scrambled away from the threat.  
  
“Alexandra, it’s me,” Sam said as he grabbed onto her shoulders to stop her from falling off the bed in a panic. “It’s Sam.”  
  
“Sam?” It took Alex a moment to comprehend why he was there. “I was at the school and Grant was there and James….James…” Alex was crying so hard that she couldn’t take a single deep breath. She was hyperventilating and her heart was pounding painfully in her chest.  
  
“I got you,” Sam said as he gripped a little harder onto her shoulders. “You’re safe, no one is going to hurt you. I got you.”  
  
“There was so much blood and he wasn’t going to hurt me and I killed him. Sam, oh my god, I killed him and he was just-”  
  
“Alex, Alexandra look at me,” Sam spoke softly, but confidently as his hands slid down to hold onto her hands. “Alexandra, look at me.”  
  
She finally focused on Sam’s face, his eyes were soft and concerned. He was in a grey army t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. He smiled a little at her when he noticed that she was focused on him.  
  
“Good, now put both your feet on the floor,” Sam instructed in the same calm and confident voice.  
  
Alex’s body felt like jelly as she tried to move her knees away from her body and do what Sam asked. Black dots were dancing in front of her eyes because she wasn’t getting enough air. He let go of one of her hands to help her get her feet onto the floor, before holding her hands again. Alex tried to take a deep breath, but she still couldn’t.  
  
“Great, now I want you to match my breathing for the next couple of minutes, breathe in,” Sam took a deep breath and gave Alex’s hands a squeeze for her to follow him. “And breathe out.”  
  
Alex drew in a shuddering breath and attempted to follow Sam’s instructions. The first couple breaths she took were shallow, but after a while she started to meet his rhythm. Her heart was still pounding her chest, but she was able to actually see the room around her. The sound of traffic from the street below and the rain hitting the window.  
  
“Great, now keep doing that and tell me how many windows there are in the room,” Sam instructed as he placed pressure on her hands to keep her grounded.  
  
“Sam, I was back at the school and-” Alex felt her body start to shake again.  
  
“Alex, count the number of windows in the room,” Sam instructed softly.  
  
“Two.”  
  
“Great, how many doors.”  
  
“One.”  
  
“How many pillows on the bed?”  
  
“Five.”  
  
“How many extremely attractive gentlemen?”  
  
“None.” Alex gave him a shaky smile.  
  
“Oh, that’s cold,” Sam laughed as he gave her a bright smile. “How are you feeling?”  
  
“Well, I don’t feel like I’m dying anymore, but still not great.”  
  
“Not dying is considered a win in my book,” Sam let go of her hands and sat up on the bed next to her. He pulled out his cell phone and made a call, reporting that everything was fine in the apartment and there was no need to send anyone over.  
  
Alex put her head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around her back. She tried to tell herself it was just a nightmare, there was nothing for her to be scared of, but her body was still coming down from the adrenaline high. Tremors were running through her body and every time she closed her eyes, she saw James face after she had stabbed him. Her stomach was in knots and she was sure if she had eaten something before going to sleep she would have thrown up.  
  
Sam seemed to understand that Alex needed some time and just held onto her, letting her know that he was there. It was still raining outside so Alex just focused on the rain hitting the window pane and the smell of sweat and laundry detergent coming from Sam. Her wrist still felt like it was on fire, but she had no idea what she had done to it while she was having the nightmare.  
  
“How did you know how to do that?” Alex finally asked him as she stopped leaning on him.  
  
“It’s called grounding, though a much abbreviated version of what people usually use. I learned it at my day job,” Sam explained as he let go of her so they could face each other to talk.  
  
“Your day job?” Alex raised an eyebrow at that as she pulled the comforter up around herself. She never thought about Sam doing anything other than running around with Steve punching people. However, he was a real life person, not someone in a comic book, he had to have some sort of job before all of this.  
  
“Yeah, when I got out of the military I started working at the V.A., helping people who had come back readjust. I still volunteer now and again when I am not working with Steve,” Sam explained. He focused on something on her shoulder, then reached out to touch her sweatshirt lightly. His fingers came back wet.  
  
“Guess it’s time to change the bandages. Probably not a bad time for a shower either,” Alex sighed. She must have aggravated the wound in her panic. Now that she focused on it, most of her body hurt.  
  
“I wasn’t going to say anything, but you are smelling a bit ripe,” Sam said with a smirk as he got off the bed and went into the bathroom to grab the first aid kit. Alex gingerly took off her hoodie and surveyed the damage. The bandage was soaked through and blood was starting to roll down her arm. Maybe she should have gone to the hospital or at least seen Dr. Banner like everyone told her to.  
  
“Well that doesn’t look good,” Sam said as he walked over and hit the overhead light switch. The light didn’t come on. He looked up to see that the bulb was missing and gave Alex a look.  
  
“It’s a long story,” Alex sighed as she leaned over and turned on the bedside lamp.  
  
“Everything seems to be a long story with you,” Sam pointed out as he dropped the trashcan from the bathroom on the floor and motioned for her to move closer so he could start unwrapping the bandages.  
  
“Looks like you just tore open the scab in your sleep,” Sam said when he got all the bandages off and wiped away the blood. “Nothing that you need to worry about. After your shower we’ll clean and bandage it and you should be fine.”  
  
“Might as well unwrap everything before I jump into the shower and then you can mummify me again,” Alex said as she took the towel he gave her and pressed it to the wound. She tried not to wince as Sam unwrapped the gauze on her wrist.  
  
“This did not look like this when I wrapped it up,” Sam said as he twisted it toward the light. Alex had been a waitress long enough to recognize a burn when she saw one and this one had to be at least a second degree burn. No wonder it felt like it was on fire all the time.  
  
“Well, at least it isn’t oozing anything.” Alex didn’t know what to else to say. If this is what the bracelet did to her body, what the hell did it do to her mind?  
  
“Maybe I should take you to see a doctor,” Sam sounded unsure as he attempted to look at the cuts around the blistered skin.  
  
“And tell them what? I took a band of hot iron and wrapped it around my wrist? What about all the other injuries? Sam, they would arrest you before you could get the story out. Then what are you going to do?” Alex wasn’t sure if that was the truth, but the last thing she wanted to do was try to explain what happened to a doctor. She could barely explain it to herself.  
  
“I wish the doctor was in the country,” Sam sighed with a shake of his head. “If you lose your hand, don’t blame me.” He continued to mutter under his breath as he took care of all the other bandaged and then leaned back.  
  
“I’ll wrap you back up when you’re done,” Sam got up and helped her to her feet. “Leave the door unlocked in case you need anything.”  
  
Alex waved her hand to show that she heard him as she went into the bathroom. It had been cleaned since the last time she had been in there. She figured Sam had showered himself earlier and cleaned up afterward. She as was going to have to thank him, for everything, not just the bathroom.  
  
The shower was just as painful as the night before and Alex spent most of the time crying and swearing. Attempting to get herself clean without getting any soap or shampoo into her wounds was more complicated than one would expect. Her thoughts kept turning to James, wondering where he was, but every time they did, she saw herself plunging the knife into his chest. After half an hour she stumbled out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel. She padded into her bedroom, which was Sam free, and tugged on a cami and shorts.  
  
“I just realized I never asked how you’re feeling. You took a bit of a beating yourself,” Alex said to Sam when she found him in the living room, changing the bandage on his side. “I am slowly realizing I am an awful person. Also, thank you for cleaning the bathroom, before I forget.”  
  
“In your defense, you came back here and fell right asleep. Not a lot of time to inquire about my health,” Sam said as he shrugged his shirt back on. “And I’m alright, I’ve had worse. How are you doing?”  
  
Alex just shrugged, then winced and felt her shoulder start bleeding again. Sam chuckled a little as he motioned her over for her to sit down on the couch. He didn’t say anything as he patched her back up, getting up halfway through to take the kettle off the stove. In the end, he used almost two whole rolls of gauze on her.  
  
“So, what are the chances of me getting you to try and go back to sleep at some point tonight?” Sam asked as he handed her a steaming mug of tea when he came back from the kitchen. The clock on the television stand read that it was four in the morning.  
  
“A snowballs chance in hell, as my mother would say,” Alex gave him a small smirk as she curled up on one end of the sofa.  
  
“At least you’re honest.” Sam threw a blanket over her before he settled down on his end of the couch with another blanket and mug.  
  
“Oh, god. I’m on your bed, I’m sorry,” Alex moved to get to her feet, but Sam motioned for her to sit still.  
  
“I slept most of the day, I’m good.” They sat there in silence for a while. Alex was trying to think about nothing but the warmth of the mug in her hands and the slight throbbing in almost every area of her body. She was safe. She was alive. Everything was alright.  
  
However, her thoughts kept racing, scurrying into the dark places she was trying to keep them away from. Her breathing would start to become fast and she would have to consciously pull herself back, only to have them run off again. It wasn’t just the dream, but watching Nadia die, and Jonas, and that woman in the hallway. The feeling of having fingers wrapped around her throat. The ringing in her ears and the craving to hurt someone while she had the bracelet on. Alex started to shake and had to put the mug down before she burnt herself.  
  
“You want to talk about it?” Sam didn’t change his posture or even look at her, just finished his drink while looking at the rain hitting the window pane.  
  
“I don’t know if I can,” Alex said truthfully. She wondered if he could hear her breathing change, if he knew how hard she was battling with herself. Knowing Sam, he did, but was giving her space to try and work it out on her own.  
  
“You know, with trauma, sometimes it helps to talk through it, even if it is painful, so that you can code the memory properly,” Sam explained as he shifted so he was looking at her.  
  
“I know that, Sam,” Alex sighed as she looked up at the ceiling. “I know all about trauma and coding, I took some psych classes, but it’s all so confusing. Every time I think I get a hold on something it unravels into something scary. I can’t figure any of it out.”  
  
“Some things just can’t be figured out,” Sam pointed out as he finished his drink and put his mug down. “They just are.”  
  
“I’m a scientist Sam, not figuring stuff out just doesn’t work for me,” Alex laughed a little. “I just can’t figure out how this all happened. How did walking home from work and putting a bracelet in the lost and found ended up in all this? How do I go on from all this?”  
  
“Well I don’t know about being a scientist, but I do know about things being turned upside down when you didn’t do anything different. I took my normal run one day, ran into Captain America, and the next thing I know him and the Black Widow were at my door saying people were trying to kill them. Sometimes, you just got to roll with it,” Sam explained with a smile.  
  
“Wait what?” Alex laughed as she turned to look at him. “They just showed up your door and said people were trying to kill them and you let them in?”  
  
Sam turned and looked her full in the face with his eyebrow raised. Alex sighed and closed her eyes, how hypocritical could she be? At least Sam knew who Steve and the Black Widow were, Alex had let a complete stranger in who had just beat three men to hell.  
  
“Point taken,” Alex smiled and shook her head. “God, when you hear someone else say it, I realize just how insane I’ve been.”  
  
“Oh, that is just now dawning on you?” Sam laughed as he got to his feet and grabbed the two mugs. He made a face when he saw that her mug wasn’t empty, but didn’t say anything.  
  
“If you haven’t noticed, thinking things through isn’t exactly my strong suit. Neither is learning from my mistakes, if my dating history is any evidence,” Alex watched him move, mostly so she wouldn’t have to think about anything else.  
  
“For someone who is so smart and has so much insight, you’d think you would figure out how to fix both of those problems,” Sam came back into the living room with two bottles of water and a bag of chips. He set them down on the floor before turning on the television and grabbed a puzzle off of the floor under the window.  
  
“What are you doing?” Alex watched Sam clear off the top of the trunk that was her coffee table and dump out the puzzle pieces on top of it.  
  
“If you think I am going to sit here and stare out the window all night, you’re out of your mind.” Sam stopped changing the channels at the replay of the Rangers game and settled down on the floor.  
  
“So you decided to do a puzzle?” Alex asked, but she slid down onto the floor as well. To begin with, she just watched the game, letting her eyes follow the puck and her mind be blissfully blank. However, that only worked until the first commercial break. An Army commercial came on, and just the sound of gunfire and screaming set her on edge. Her breathing started to become shallow. All she could think about was the warehouse, all the dead bodies.  
  
“Hand me that corner piece?” Sam asked, breaking her concentration.  
  
Alex handed it to him silently and turned her attention to the puzzle. It helped to keep her calm, moving the pieces around and trying to figure out where it went. However, there was one thought that Alex couldn’t push away. One that made her sick to her stomach.  
  
“I could have gotten you all killed. Hell, I thought I did get you all killed,” Alex said as she looked at the puzzle pieces in front of her because she couldn’t look at Sam. “That makes me feel sick. It makes me hate myself. It’s one thing to put myself in danger, but you three…”  
  
“You were more than in danger, you were seconds from being killed if you didn’t have that freaky ass bracelet on you,” Sam corrected her seriously, causing Alex to look up. “Even now I don’t think you understand just how much danger you were in.”  
  
“I don’t care about that,” Sam raised his eyebrow at this. “Okay, like now I do, but at the time I didn’t. I am used to doing reckless shit. But you three, I couldn’t be able to live with myself if something serious had happened to you three.”  
  
“Well, other than almost giving us all a heart attack, we’re mostly fine. No reason to get upset over something that didn’t happen. Just don’t do it again,” Sam said before smirking. “And don’t worry about me. I’m notoriously hard to kill.”  
  
“Seems like you are going to need that if you’re within a hundred yards of me,” Alex muttered as she placed two pieces of the puzzle together, flashes of dead faces assaulting her.  
  
“Alexandra, I spend most of my time with Captain America. That man runs into any fight within a hundred miles of him. If I can survive being with him, you’re a piece of cake.” Sam said as he reached over and grabbed some puzzle pieces in front of her. “As for Steve’s ability to stay alive, he was frozen for seventy years, has been shot in the stomach, and jumps out of planes and off buildings regularly without a parachute. He’ll be fine.”  
  
“And Clint?” Alex asked, though she was smiling now. Sam had this way about him that just made it easy to relax. Basically, if Sam said it was okay, then it was okay.  
  
“That man is half dead every time I see him,” Sam rolled his eyes as he looked over to see what was going on in the hockey game.  
  
And with that, it was like the issue was settled. Alex felt as if she had let out a breath she had been holding for days. She still felt guilty about everything that had happened over the past couple days, all the people who had died because of her, but it was less crushing. Just another ache to add to all the other ones she was dealing with. It was just that this one was going to take a lot longer to heal.  
  
For the rest of the morning, Alex and Sam worked side by side on the puzzle. Every once in a while, they commented on the hockey game until it was over. Then Sam put some music on, which was a lot different than what Alex listened to, but she didn’t mind it. A lot of rhythm and blues, which seemed to help soothe her restless thoughts. It might be something she would have to look into downloading.  
  
Somewhere in the apartment, Alex’s cell phone started to go off. She looked up to see that it was five-thirty in the morning and it was telling her to go running. Alex didn’t move from her spot on the floor, just looked toward the sound with a sigh. How did something so normal like running seem so alien right now? It seemed like years since she last went out for a run, letting her mind go blank as her legs worked.  
  
After a while Sam got up and grabbed the phone, bringing it over to her to shut off the alarm. Alex saw that there were over seventy-five notifications, but just turned off the alarm and shut her phone off. She wasn’t ready to deal with the real world just yet.  
  
“I don’t know about you,” Sam said as he stretched, “but I could use some food. How do you feel about breakfast?”  
  
“I’m not overly hungry, but I probably should eat.” Alex wasn’t hungry at all, but it was almost a whole day since she ate anything. Even if she couldn’t feel it, her body probably seriously needed food, especially since it was healing.  
  
“Come on, I make a mean breakfast burrito.” Sam pulled her to her feet and brought her into the kitchen with him. “You look at this puzzle any longer and your eyes are going to cross.”  
  
Alex sat down at the table and watched Sam move around her kitchen. Every so often he would ask her where to find a utensil, but mostly Sam just sang to himself. Alex looked out of the window and thought about James. While there was a tinge of fear that came with thinking about him now, there was a very deep longing. She had been so used to him being around in a few days that not seeing him made her feel uneasy.  
  
Sam’s phone started to go off and he picked up while, flipping bacon on the stove. He didn’t say much and honestly Alex didn’t pay attention. Before her thoughts were racing, assaulting her constantly, but now she couldn’t hold onto one to save her life. Instead she just watched the sky lightening outside.  
  
She jumped when Sam put the plate down in front of her. He put his hand on her shoulder as a way of apologizing before he sat down across from her.  
  
“At least that explains why you haven’t been answering me,” Sam said with a smile as he put some pepper on his food.  
  
“Did you say something?” Alex asked as she looked down at the plate in front of her. It was a grilled tortilla stuffed with sautéed peppers, onions, bacon, sausage, eggs, and probably other things that she couldn’t see. At some point Sam had put orange juice on the table as well.  
  
“Steve is going to be stopping by later.” Sam looked at her for a long moment, assessing her. Alex thought he was deciding just how messed up she was. When he figured out, she hoped he’d tell her because she had no idea how messed up she was at the moment.  
  
“Any certain reason?” Alex picked up the burrito and bit into it. Her stomach growled in appreciation and she took another bite. Apparently she was hungry.  
  
“He’s worried about you and wants to talk to me about something. Probably wants to debrief you on what happened yesterday too,” Sam shrugged as he continued to eat.  
  
“Sam,” Alex felt her stomach churn and she put the burrito down, “I can’t talk about what happened yesterday. I just…I can’t.”  
  
“Hey, hey,” Sam reached across the table and put his hand on her arm. “Let’s finish our food before getting all worked up about that.”  
  
Alex nodded and went back to eating, but she didn’t taste the food anymore. The blissful emptiness in her mind has been replaced with the racing thoughts again. She was so tired that she stopped trying to reign them in. She let them scurry all over the place, no matter how dark. The shaking that she felt the day before returned, her internal organs feeling as if they were set on vibrate.  
  
“So, what are you doing at school?” Sam asked as he grabbed the plates from the table and moved to the sink.  
  
“What?” Alex attempted to focus on what he was saying.  
  
“School, your courses, what are you learning?” Sam repeated patiently as he started to fill the sink with water. The scent of her dish soap mixed with the smell of food still lingering in the kitchen.  
  
“Sam, you honestly don’t care. I appreciate you trying to distract me, but…” Alex trailed off as she twisted her earrings.  
  
“Don’t tell me what I do and don’t care about,” Sam said good-naturedly over his shoulder. “Now what are you learning in class. You have an exam coming up? What’s on it?”  
  
Alex sighed loudly, but crossed her legs underneath herself, and started explaining what was on her biology exam. Sam asked questions at the right places, never turning around from doing the dishes, to keep Alex talking. When he was done with the dishes, he put the kettle on the stove and made them both another cup of tea before settling down with her at the table.  
  
“I don’t know why you’re stressing about this exam. You seem to know it all pretty well,” Sam said when Alex finished explaining everything.  
  
“Yeah, you’d think, but that’s only a quarter of what’s on the exam,” Alex laughed.  
  
The rain had stopped at some point and weak sunlight was attempting to make its way into her kitchen window. A late autumn Saturday was starting over New York City and Alex didn’t want any part of it. She would have been happy to crawl back into bed if she wasn’t fearful of another nightmare. Instead she sat there drumming her fingers against the table while Sam read something on his phone.  
  
They both froze when there was a knock at the door.  
  
For one fraction of a second Alex wondered if it was James, However, he probably knew that Sam was there and it was unlikely he would just knock on the front door at nine-thirty in the morning. Who the hell was at her door? If it was Steve, he would have called ahead of time.  
  
Sam motioned for Alex to get away from the door before moving quietly into the living room and pulling a gun from his duffle bag. He stalked toward the door and looked through the peep hole. Confusion registered on his face. He didn’t know who was on the other side of the door either.  
  
“Miss Harper, are you home?” A familiar male voice called through the door along with another set of knocks.  
  
“Coming Detective,” Alex gave Sam a pointed look as she moved toward the door. Sam raised an eyebrow, but slipped the gun in the waistband of his jeans and pulled out his shirt to cover it.  
  
“Miss Harper, I’m sorry to bother you so early,” Michael said as she opened the door.  
  
“I thought I told you to call me Alex,” She said as she leaned against the door frame. “What can I do for you at nine-thirty on a Saturday morning?”  
  
“There was a homicide here the night before last a couple floors down. Someone matching your description supposedly helped the woman in question, but was nowhere to be found when the ambulance arrived. I just wanted a statement, assuming it was you, if you have a moment.” Michael’s gave her a look as she kept the door partially closed, then it settled on her bandaged wrist and newly bruised face.  
  
“Actually I have company right now,” Alex gave him a smile, attempting to look at ease. However, the mention of the cat lady made her heart almost stop in her chest. She had almost forgotten about her in all the chaos that followed. She had forgotten that the police would be involved.  
  
“And some injuries by the look of things,” Michael pointed out. “Would you feel more comfortable coming down to the station? It might be a more…controlled environment for you.”  
  
Alex knew what he was implying. Whoever was in the apartment with her was a threat and he was giving her a way out. He was a good cop, she could give him that, though his compassion was annoying at that moment. Why could no one just leave her alone?  
  
“That’s not necessary,” Alex opened the door wider to let Michael. Michael spotted Sam right away, who was leaning against the kitchen counter, and stared at him. Alex could see him assessing the threat, his hands loose at his side, probably ready to go for his gun if need be.  
  
“Detective, this is Sam Wilson. Sam, this is a detective from the local precinct,” Alex said as a way of introductions. Sam sized up Michael as well before offering his hand. They shook, neither looking happy, before turning to look at Alex.  
  
“The new injuries? I’m not imagining them am I?” Michael asked, his eyes flicking to Sam before coming back to Alex.  
  
“I do have new bruises, but they aren’t from Sam. Markus ran with a tough crowd and one of them blamed me for getting him locked up. I was walking the other night and he took that frustration out on me.” Alex shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal, but wincing made it very unconvincing.  
  
“And you didn’t call the police because…?” Michael asked as they moved into the living room. “I gave you my number for a reason.”  
  
“And here I thought you were just flirting with me,” Alex smiled at him as she moved to get the blankets and pillows out of the way. Michael blushed and shook his head as he sat down on the edge of the couch, eyes still on Sam. Alex had the feeling that he might have been flirting with her, just a little bit.  
  
“Do you want tea or coffee or anything?” Alex asked as Sam positioned himself on the window sill. He was out of the way enough that he wasn’t intruding on the interview, but he was keeping an eye on Michael and letting him know he was still there.  
  
“Some water will be fine,” Michael answered as he looked at Sam out of the corner of his eye, but didn’t say anything. “Can you give the description of the people who attacked you? I can file a report when I get back to the station.”  
  
“Don’t worry about it. They said their piece, got a few hits in, and that is the end of it,” Alex said as she grabbed two bottles of water and headed back into the living room. “Now what did you want to ask me about?”  
  
“The woman who died two nights ago? Miss Lee stated that you told her to call 9-1-1, but by the time the first responder were on the scene you were nowhere to be found. An officer came to your apartment, but no one answered the door.” Michael flipped his notebook open and balanced it on his knee to write.  
  
“I…I heard her scream,” Alex took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She was not going to cry.  
  
“Take your time,” Michael said softly.  
  
“I heard the scream and I ran toward it. I found the girl on the floor, bleeding out. I had met her earlier in the week, twice, she was looking for her cat. I put pressure on the wound. I don’t even know if that’s what you were supposed to do, but that’s what I did. Miss Lee came out and I told her to call 911. I…I left to go get towels, something. By the time I got back the paramedics were there and I stayed out of the way. After that, I just left the building and started walking. I had no idea where I was going until I ended up at Sam’s place. I’ve been there until last night when I came back here.” The words tumbled out of Alex’s mouth quickly, she barely stopped to take a breath. She was shaking at the end of it, but she wasn’t crying when she looked back up at Michael.  
  
“You never saw the assailant?” Michael asked, his face grave.  
  
“No,” Alex shook her head as if to get the picture out of her mind. “She was already bleeding and on the floor. I tried to help her, I tried…”  
  
“You did what you could.” Michael leaned across the couch and put his hand on her knee, which made Alex jump. Michael asked her a few more questions, but Alex didn’t have any answers for him. After a half an hour, Michael closed his notebook. Then he turned and studied Sam, who had been quiet the whole time.  
  
“So a woman shows up at your door covered with blood and obviously in shock and you don’t call the police?” Michael asked him.  
  
“When she told me what happened, I didn’t see what she could add that you wouldn’t already know. She was in shock, like you said, and has just started to talk again,” Sam lied easily, but he was not happy with what Michael was insinuating.  
  
“Did you take her to get those bruises checked out?” Michael pressed.  
  
“I have medical training from the military. I looked her over and she was fine.” Sam’s words were clipped.  
  
“I didn’t want to go to the hospital anyway. The last thing that I want is my parents to know what I’ve been up to,” Alex added, feeling guilty that she had made Sam the bad guy. That hadn’t been her intention when she made up the lie, she just wanted to explain where she went and why Sam was in the apartment.  
  
“Well, I don’t have any more questions. I may need you to come down and make a statement. Are you going to be around?” Michael asked as he got to his feet.  
  
“I should be here, but let me give you my number just in case I’m in class or at work.” Alex held out her hand and Michael passed over the notebook. She scribbled down her cell phone number and name before handing it back. Sam got a phone call and moved into the bedroom to take it.  
  
“You have my number if you need anything,” Michael shot one last glance to where Sam had disappeared as Alex walked him toward the door.  
  
“I do indeed,” Alex laughed. “Thank you for everything detective. Maybe next time I see you, it will be without any need for a police report.”  
  
“That’s my hope,” Michael said with a smile before turning serious again. “Take care of yourself.”  
  
“You too, detective,” Alex opened the door and with one last smile Michael walked out, almost bumping into Steve in the hallway. Michael didn’t even look up at him, just waved an apology and continued down the hall. Alex let out a sigh of relief, the last thing she wanted to do was explain why Captain America was at her door.  
  
“Everything alright?” Steve asked as he looked after Michael walking down the hall.  
  
“Yeah, fine, he just wanted to ask about the college girl. One of my neighbors said I was on the scene and he wanted me to answer a few questions,” Alex explained as she motioned for Steve to come in.  
  
“You alright?” Steve changed the question as he looked her over. “Sam mentioned you didn’t have a great night.”  
  
“I’ll live,” Alex shrugged with her none injured shoulder, avoiding his gaze. “Is there something you needed or just making sure I was where I was supposed to be for once?”  
  
“Both,” Steve smiled as he walked into the living room, where Sam was putting his gun away. “I don’t know how you managed to keep her here, but maybe I should have you watching her instead of Clint.”  
  
“Hey, in Clint’s defense, I was asleep most of the time Sam was here,” Alex protested, but she was smiling along with Steve.  
  
“You said there was something you didn’t want to discuss over the phone?” Sam broke in before the two of them started bickering.  
  
“Yeah there’s a bit of a situation I need to go and take care of,” Steve’s eyes moved over to Alex before moving to Sam. “There are some things I need you to take care of when I’m gone, if that’s alright.”  
  
“Don’t worry,” Alex said, putting her hands up, “I am washing my hands of all superhero affairs. You don’t have to worry about me wanting to be part of your super-secret business. I am done with all that. Speak freely.”  
  
“Still, the apartment is bugged,” Sam pointed out. “How time sensitive is this business.”  
  
“Very,” Steve said as he put his hands on his hips. The two men stared at one another while Alex tried not to feel like a piece of furniture. She was being completely serious, she didn’t want to know anything about what they two of them were into, but it was still annoying to be talked over.  
  
“Alright, well I’ll get right on that. Unless,” Sam turned to Alex, concern written all over his face. “You sure you don’t want me to stay another night? Whatever this is, it can wait.”  
  
"I’m sure you have a life you have to get back to Sam. Whether it is super-secret business or just sleeping in your own bed. I’ll be fine. If I need anything, I have your number,” Alex pointed out with a small smile. Did she want to be alone? Not really, but she was so sick of everyone looking after her. She wanted to have a mental breakdown in peace.  
  
Sam nodded at this and went about packing up his things. Alex hopped up onto her kitchen counter to stay out of the way. Steve was following him around, talking in a low voice. Sam nodded as he moved, completely in soldier mode, absorbing all the information being provided and asking questions now and again. When Sam zipped up his duffle bag he looked like he was ready to go to work.  
  
“Alright kid,” Sam walked over and pulled her into a fierce hug, almost pulling her off the counter. “You take care of yourself alright.”  
  
“This isn’t goodbye forever is it?” Alex asked hugging him back just as tight. She felt herself tearing up a little. It was a little ridiculous that out of everything this was what would make her cry, but the thought of never seeing Sam again was painful. He was such a warm person, like the sun, someone you just wanted to be around to soak up his warmth.  
  
“I’m still searching for the Winter Solider and you’re my best lead. I’ll be around,” Sam said letting go.  
  
“I’ll be here,” Alex smiled. Sam leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek before slinging his duffle bag over his shoulder, nodding to Steve, and heading out the door.  
  
Alex and Steve stared at each other for a few moments, both trying to figure out what the other one was thinking. Then Steve smiled a little and reached into his jacket, pulling out an envelope.  
  
“What’s this?” Alex asked as he held it out to her. “Paper work for a life insurance policy?”  
  
“You know, that probably isn’t a bad idea given the week you’ve had,” Steve smirked. “It’s information about a fully paid internship with Stark Industries for college students. I know you said that you were looking to go into the science field.”  
  
“Thank you, but Stark is into clean energy now. I am doing biochemistry and want to go into the medical field.” Alex attempted to hand the envelope back.  
  
“He is opening up a medical division with Dr. Banner at its head,” Steve explained, not taking the paperwork.  
  
“Did you not hear what I said about washing my hands of superhero business? After the week I’ve just had what makes you think I want anything to do with superheroes? I have almost been killed two times by Hydra, hell probably more, and have more bruises than I can count. I think I will single handedly end the recession with all the concealer I am going to have to buy,” Alex explained, her voice rising. She would have been screaming, but she didn’t have the energy to get too worked up. How could he think she’d want to work for Iron Man and The Hulk? That was like being mauled by a lion and then deciding you were going to work for the two most famous lion tamers.  
  
“Stark Industries is a lot more than the two of them. It was just a thought, but it’s up to you,” Steve said with a small smile. “We both know you can’t stay out of trouble for long.”  
  
“And you want to put me around pricey lab equipment and chemicals?” Alex laughed.  
  
“I would like you to be somewhere I can keep an eye on you, or have someone else to keep an eye on you,” Steve was smiling, but she didn’t think he was joking.  
  
“You’re nuts, but thank you,” Alex set the envelope down beside her. That was something to worry about for a different day.  
  
Steve walked over and pulled her into a hug, being careful to not push onto any of her wounds or bruises. Alex hugged him back, resting her head on his chest, and relaxed a little more. Part of her wanted to be selfish and ask him to stay, or ask him to have Sam or Clint come back. However, she knew that she needed to be alone. To let her emotions do whatever they needed to. She also needed to be alone for James to reappear, if he was even still in the city. That was who she really wanted.  
  
“Take care of yourself Alex,” Steve said as he gave her a kiss on the cheek. “If you need me, call. I’ll be around.”  
  
Alex walked with him to the door and closed it behind him. She stood there for a moment, resting her head against the wood, and letting herself enjoy the quiet. Then she turned and looked around her empty apartment and didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. It was hers, it was empty, she was safe, and there was nothing for her to worry about any more. Yet, there was this vibrating inside her, a disquiet that made her fidget and pace.  
  
She grabbed her school work and settled down on the couch, deciding to use her nervous energy to do work. While her concentration was all over the place, after a while she started to get back into the rhythm of doing school work. At some point, the sky clouded over and the rain started once again, little flakes of snow mixing into it.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone so so so much for all the comments and the kudos. It means a lot that so many of you enjoyed reading the story as much as I enjoyed writing it. I also want to thank my three beta readers once again for catching my mistakes and spurring me on when I had writers block. This story never would have gotten out without them. 
> 
> This chapter does contain some explicit smut. I didn't want to rate the whole story explicit for this one chapter, but I also know that smut isn't everyone's cup of tea. There will be asterisks at the begin and end of the sex scenes (there are two) so those of you that want to skip them can do that. 
> 
> I really have enjoyed reading all of your comments and if you want to talk to me more about the story or life in general, feel free to jump over to my tumblr (http://prophetandprincess.tumblr.com) or message me here. I'd love to answer any questions or just chat with you guys. 
> 
> Alright, without further ado, the final chapter.

Alex woke up in a panic, feeling as if someone was closing their hand around her throat. Her wrist burned and she couldn’t take a deep breath. She looked around wildly, trying to find the threat. Her eyes rested on a figure sitting beside the chair on the floor. She opened her mouth to scream.  
  
“It’s me, Alex,” James’s voice was soft as he touched her arm lightly. She still almost jumped out of her skin, and then winced as all the bruises, cuts, and scrapes hurt at once. The shaking inside her started again, like someone had flipped the on switch.  
  
“Hey, it’s alright, you’re safe.” James put his hand on the side of her face so that she had to look at him. “Nothing is going to get you. I’m not going to let anything hurt you. You’re safe.”  
  
“I think that’s the first time that you’ve said that and it’s actually the truth,” Alex gave him a weak smile, though her heart rate was still at heart attack level. He was still there, he hadn’t left. That thought alone was enough to make her heart race, but images from her dream also assaulted her.  
  
“They still have someone watching the apartment,” Alex finally whispered.  
  
“I know. I’m jamming the bugs. As far as they know you’re still asleep,” James took his hand off her cheek and interlaced the fingers of his other hand with hers. The metal was cold against her skin, but it was welcome since she had been sweating while asleep.  
  
“How long have you been here?” Alex asked as she sat up slowly, uncurling her feet from beneath her. James reached out and put his hand on her waist to steady her, his eyes concerned.  
  
“About half an hour,” James said as he watched her closely. “I didn’t want to wake you, but then you seemed to be having a nightmare so…”  
  
“I don’t remember what it was,” Alex pushed the hair out of her face, ignoring the flashing images of blood and gore behind her eyelids. She remembered what it was, but she didn’t want to talk about it.  
  
“Alexandra?” James looked at her, letting her know that he knew she was lying.  
  
“It was just flashes of stuff, not as bad as the one before,” Alex wanted to kick herself, the last thing she wanted to tell James was that she dreamed about stabbing him. She really wasn’t completely awake yet.  
  
“Tell me about it,” James said softly, his blue eyes studying her face.  
  
“It’s not…no,” Alex said with a shake of her head, but James just sat there and waited. “I was just…I was back at the school and you kill Grant by punching a hole in his chest. Then you walk over and…”  
  
James just gave her hand a small squeeze and waited for her to continue.  
  
“I thought you were going to kill me so I plunged a knife into your chest,” her voice was barely above a whisper as she looked into her lap.  
  
“Good.” Alex’s head shot up and stared at him, but he just met her eye steadily.  
  
“Excuse me?” Alex felt her anger rise a little bit, but more than anything she was completely baffled.  
  
“If I was coming at you and looked like I was going to hurt you, I want you to hurt me. Kill me if you have to,” James said it as if it was the most natural thing in the world.  
“You can’t mean that,” Alex tightened her grip on his hand.  
  
“I would rather be dead than hurt you,” James said seriously, not a hint of humor or deception in his face.  
  
“Don’t say that,” Alex snapped, letting go of his hand and curling her fingers into fists. Her whole body was shaking and she started to think about the dream, the blood on her hands, the way he looked at her, full of surprise and sadness. How could he say that to her, how could he? Then just the thought of killing brought all the other faces up in her mind.  
  
“Alexandra,” James said her name softly, “Alex look at me. Open your eyes and look at me.”  
  
Alex hadn’t even realized she had closed her eyes. She opened them and tried to focus on James, but her breathing was shallow again and panic was setting in. She wanted to get up, to pace, to scream, something.  
  
“Hey, I’m sorry, I’m here,” James used the same soft voice as he put his hand lightly on her knee. Alex grabbed onto his hand, squeezing as hard as she could and attempted to take a deep breath. She heard Sam’s voice in her head, asking her how many windows, how many doors, grounding her back into the room.  
  
“How are you feeling?” James moved forward to keep her gaze on him. Alex figured he guessed what she was seeing, and he was trying to keep her grounded in his own way. It worked, she matched his breathing and slowly started to calm down, just like Sam taught her. She couldn’t focus on his eyes, so she looked at every hair in his five o’clock shadow.  
  
“Well, all things considered, it could be worse,” Alex said when she had herself a bit more under control. “I don’t have an alien artifact telling me to kill people anymore, so that’s a plus. I’m just really sore…and hungry.”  
  
“It was trying to control your mind while it was burrowing into your skin? Telling you to kill people?” James tilted his head to the side, confusion and worry evident in every line of his face.  
  
Alex opened her mouth to answer, but no noise came out. She couldn’t explain what it had been like, to have that power over another human being, to have those dark thoughts trying to take over her mind. Even if she could, she didn’t want to talk about it. If she gave those thoughts life in the form of words, she might not ever be able to kill them.  
  
“I don’t want to talk about it.” She twisted one of her many earrings around as she felt tears well up in her eyes. “James, where have you been?”  
  
She hadn’t meant the words to have any sort of affliction, but they came out sounding like a plea. He couldn’t have come to her yesterday, even if he wanted to with Sam there, but she still had wanted him there every second, to wrap his arms around her, to make her feel safe. True, after the nightmare she would have been a little scared to be around him, but looking at him right now all she wanted was to bury her face in his neck and have him hold her.  
  
He looked at her for a long moment, his brow pulled together, pain in his eyes. Alex leaned forward and put her hand on his cheek and he leaned into it, closing his eyes. His fingers tightened on hers and he squeezed his eyes together, as if he was preparing himself for something. Something painful. Alex held her breath.  
  
“I didn’t remember where I was,” James spoke so softly it was barely a whisper, but she heard him.  
  
“You didn’t remember?” The words felt heavy on her tongue, all the implications of that simple sentence making it almost impossible to speak. She didn’t take her hand off his cheek or let go of his hand.  
  
“After the college, I went to where I was staying. I patched myself up and laid down to get some sleep. I figured Steve or someone else would be here, so I planned to come back last night. Then I woke up and I didn’t know where I was, who I was, what my mission was. I walked the city the whole night, not knowing what the hell I was doing here,” James stopped and opened his eyes.  
  
Alex just stared at him, not sure what to say. She had seen James when he didn’t remember who he was, the single minded purpose that he had, the flat expression. What could she possibly say about his memories slipping away again? Nothing. So she pushed a piece of hair behind his ear and shook her head. She put her hand on the couch to steady herself to ask the next question.  
  
“What made you remember?” She finally asked, her voice low.  
  
“I walked past the restaurant where you work, by pure chance. I remember sitting by the window and that little girl telling me I should be your boyfriend. It came back then a bit, that first night I met you. Over the course of the day the rest of it came back,” James explained with a sad smile.  
  
“But you stayed away,” Alex picked up on what he wasn’t saying.  
  
“I was just going to leave, it would have been so much easier that way. Disappear the same way I came, out of nowhere. But, I couldn’t,” James reached out and put his hand against her cheek. “I had to see you again.”  
  
Alex grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him into a kiss. He came willingly, one hand still holding hers while the other was on her cheek. Alex pressed her lips against his desperately, feeling as if time was running out, as if she needed to kiss him now because soon he would disappear. Hadn’t he already tried to leave once? Hadn’t she known all along this was what was going to happen?  
  
James brushed away the tears with his thumb, meeting her intensity to begin with, but slowing down the kisses so that they were more passionate. He pulled away when he felt the sobs start making Alex shake and pulled her against him. He muttered to her in Russian, long flowing speech that sounded like poetry, while he rubbed circles between her shoulder blades.  
  
“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” James said when Alex finally pulled away, wiping the rest of the tears off her face with both hands.  
  
“I know,” Alex gave him a small laugh, “but I have had kind of an interesting week and my emotions aren’t exactly sure what they are doing anymore.”  
  
James smiled at her, one that wasn’t tinged with sadness and shook his head. Alex tilted her head, asking what he was smiling at without opening her mouth. This just caused him to smile a bit wider.  
  
“How about we get you some food?” James asked as he got to his feet. “I think I remember you saying something about being hungry.”  
  
“They are still watching the place, how do you plan to do that?” Alex looked up at him.  
  
“The curtains are drawn and the lights are off. As long as we don’t turn them on, they will just think you’re sleeping.” He held out his hand to her.  
  
“Cooking in the dark, that sounds dangerous,” Alex took his hand and let him pull her to her feet. He smiled down at her, pushing hair out of her face.  
  
“Cooking by candlelight,” James corrected, his voice low and husky. “A completely different type of danger you have to worry about.”  
  
“You know how much I like danger,” Alex smirked up at him. She was glad that he wasn’t going to dwell on what he just told her. That he was just going to push it away. She had a feeling it was because it hurt him as much as it hurt her.  
  
James smiled down at her before he kissed the top of her head and walked into the kitchen. Alex collected the candles she had in the living room and carried them into the kitchen, placing them on counters and the table. Soon there was soft light around them, but not enough to shine through the curtains in the living room.  
  
“So, what are we having?” Alex asked as she jumped up on the counter next to a candle. It didn’t leave James a lot of counter space to work with, but he didn’t say anything about it. Instead he started pulling out vegetables and other things out of the fridge. He put a pot on the stove, filled it with water, and turned on the heat.  
  
“Being mysterious again, I see,” Alex said with a laugh. “Alright, well I am guessing it is going to be a pasta dish of some sort. Poor man’s stir fry?”  
  
“Do you have any wine? White would be great,” James put another pan on the stove and searched through the cabinets until he found oil. He splashed a little into the pan before he turned on the heat.  
  
“I honestly don’t know. If there is any, it would be on the bottom shelf of the fridge.” Alex could go for a glass or two of wine, maybe a bottle or two. Then again, getting drunk when she barely had a hold of her emotions probably wasn’t the best idea.  
  
James disappeared into the fridge again and Alex felt herself take a deep breath for the first time. She relaxed, resting her head against the cabinets as he pushed things around. Then she noticed the cut in his shirt, meaning it was the same one he wore the day before, and remembered that Nadia got him in the side.  
  
“Are you alright? You took a bit of a beating yesterday,” Alex said when he straightened up, a bottle of wine in his hand. She reached out and touched his side and felt his muscles jump underneath her fingers.  
  
“I’ve had worse,” James said simply, but he stood still as Alex lifted up his shirt to get a better look. He had covered it up, but blood was visible through the white bandage. It ran the length of his ribs, but didn’t seem to be that deep since it wasn’t causing him too much pain.  
  
“I know, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”  
  
It was just going to be another scar to add to the rest of them on his chest and back. However, it didn’t seem to be bothering him at all, so she didn’t make him stop cooking for her to clean and bandage it again. He would have fought her about it and she didn’t have the energy for that.  
  
“Says the woman who has more bandages and bruises on her right now to rival Steve on his worst day.” James laughed as he chopped up vegetables with scary precision.  
“Honestly, before this week the worst injury I’ve ever had was the time I broke my arm while playing baseball when I was ten,” Alex pretended to sound offended, but he was right. Between the two of them, she was in far worse shape.  
  
“Let me guess, you tried to run over someone going into third base?” James laughed as he threw the vegetables into the pan to sweat.  
  
“Someone tried to run me over to get to home. I stood my ground. They ran me over, but I held onto the ball and they were out,” Alex said with a smile. James smiled at her before opening the cabinet next to her and pulling out two glasses. He filled them both with wine and handed her one.  
  
“I would expect nothing less,” James clinked their glasses together before he turned his attention back to cooking. His hair was falling into his eyes, but he just kept pushing it behind his ear. Alex smiled fondly as she watched him, the shadows created by the candle making his features softer. However, she noticed that his frustration was growing as he worked and fought with his hair.  
  
“Here,” Alex pulled out one of the kitchen drawers between her legs and handed him a hair tie that had been thrown in there at some point in time. There were hair ties hidden all over the apartment, but she knew for sure there would be one in there.  
  
James gave her a look out of the corner of his eye, piece of hair falling from where it had been tucked. It made her heart almost stop. He should not be allowed to be so damn attractive.  
  
“Stir this,” James handed her the spoon he had been using and pulled his hair back. Alex leaned over the stirred the mixture of meat, vegetables, and spices that was in the pan. After he pulled his hair back, he grabbed spaghetti out of the cabinet and added it to the boiling water.  
  
“It still baffles me that you know how to cook,” Alex said when he took the spoon back. “Not only that, but you cook better than I can.”  
  
“Is it because you don’t like someone being better than you at something, because I am a man, or because I have a metal arm?” James leaned against the counter, letting everything simmer, and took a sip of his wine waiting for her answer.  
  
“Most people are better than me at a lot of things,” Alex pointed out. “It is mostly the other two. I mean, you see someone with a metal arm and scars and you don’t think they are going to make you dinner. Then again, a lot of people don’t know how to cook anymore. No time and take out is all too easy.”  
  
“What can I say, I like to keep people on their toes,” James turned back to the food, adding spices and humming to himself. Alex liked to watch him, but the need to move took over her and she slid off the counter. She walked over to the table and cleaned up the crumbs from breakfast before pulling out plates and forks.  
  
Alex almost jumped out of her skin when James accidentally dropped the spoon onto the floor. She gripped onto the table and closed her eyes. She tried to get herself under control, but she was shaking terribly. She knew that James had just dropped something and that it wasn’t someone coming to hurt her, but her whole body was on high alert. Flashes of gun fire and Nadia throttling her flashed in her mind.  
  
“Alexandra, I am right behind you,” James said softly. “I’m putting my hand on your shoulder.”  
  
Even with the warning Alex jumped when he touched her. A tear escaped the side of her eye and she brushed it away quickly. James kept his hand on her shoulder, not saying anything, just being there. Letting her know that she was not alone. She took a few deep breaths and then turned around and put her head against his shoulder.  
  
“Alex, you can’t keep pushing this away. Trust me,” James said as she leaned against him. “It’s going to eat at you forever unless you talk about it with someone.”  
  
“You’ve had your memories back for not even a day, I don’t think you get to lecture me.” Alex winced at the venom in her voice as she pushed away from him. “I’m sorry, I just…”  
  
“Alex,” James put his hand on her cheek and she looked up at him. “I know.”  
  
“I can’t talk about it right now,” Alex’s voice broke.  
  
“That’s fine,” James said as he let his thumb wipe away the tear on her cheek. “Just promise me you will talk to someone when you’re ready.”  
  
“I think I can do that,” Alex leaned her face against his palm before moving away from his touch, “and you need to be careful or something on the stove is going to burn.”  
  
James kept his hand on her cheek a moment longer before letting go, picking up the spoon, washing it off, and going back to cooking. Alex went back to setting the table and mentally telling herself that she was alright, everything was alright, and she needed to take a deep breath. She took a sip of her wine and another deep breath.  
  
“Can you bring the plates over?” James asked. Alex did and each was filled with the vegetable and pasta dish, complete with a white wine sauce.  
  
“This smells fantastic,” Alex’s stomach rumbled and her mouth watered.  
  
“Let’s hope it tastes just as good,” James smiled as they made their way over to the table. There was little talking as they settled in and took sips of their wine. James waited expectantly for Alex to take a bite of the pasta. She took her time, just to make him squirm a bit, before spinning some onto her fork.  
  
“Oh God,” Alex moaned as she leaned back in her chair. “This is fantastic.”  
  
The smile on James’s face was so wide that Alex could swear she saw all his teeth. Her heart lifted a little at the sight and she felt as if some of the weight fell off her shoulders. It didn’t matter what happened before and it didn’t matter what was going to happen next, in that moment eating pasta in the candle light with James was enough. They sat in silence eating, both more hungry than they first thought they were.  
  
Somewhere in the apartment Alex’s cell phone started to go off. Alex had turned it back on while she was doing homework, but she didn’t really look at any of the alerts. She looked down at the table as the phone continued to go off, making no move to go answer it. The thought of talking to someone outside of the apartment was so draining she didn’t think she could handle it. James got up silently and brought the phone to her.  
  
“You have to rejoin the world at some point,” James said as he held out the phone to her. Alex looked at him for a moment, getting the undercurrent of his words. She had to leave Oz and return to Kansas. This was ending. He was leaving. She reached out and took the phone from his hand.  
  
“Hello?” Alex answered on the last ring.  
  
“Alexandra, honey, oh thank god!” Mrs. Malone sighed into the phone. “When those men came I was so worried. I knew that I should have kept a better eye on you, all those boys you hang out with. Then you didn’t show up for work tonight and I was so worried I just had to call. Is that man you brought with you to the diner an undercover agent? He looked a bit like an undercover agent. He wasn’t one of the bad guys was he? And -”  
  
“Mrs. Malone,” Alex laughed a little as she leaned back and cut her off. “I can’t answer any of your questions if you don’t take a breath. I am fine, I promise, it has all been taken care of.”  
  
“Dear, that’s what you said last time. I’ll come over and-” Mrs. Malone started again.  
  
“That isn’t necessary. I have a friend here looking out for me,” Alex looked up at James for a second. “I honestly just want to finish eating my dinner and then go to bed. I will see you tomorrow morning since I picked up a shift. I promise to answer all of your questions then.”  
  
“Oh, darling, you don’t need to come into work!” Mrs. Malone sounded horrified at the thought. “You have had a hell of a week.”  
  
“I have rent to pay. I’ll be there tomorrow, I promise. Now I need to eat this before it gets cold. Can we talk about this tomorrow?” Alex asked as she tapped her fork against her plate. She could tell Mrs. Malone was worried and she didn’t want to cut her off, but it would be easier to calm her fears in person than over the phone.  
  
“Of course, I’m sorry. I’ve just been so worried about you,” Mrs. Malone sighed.  
  
“I’m sorry to worry you. I promise it won’t happen again. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” Alex said before the exchanged goodbyes and ended the call. James stayed quiet as Alex went back to eating her meal.  
  
“Is that a promise you can actually make?” James finally asked, his voice low.  
  
“What?” Alex looked up, not sure if she heard him correctly.  
  
“Can you really promise that something like this won’t happen again?” James said clearly putting his fork down and looking at her.  
  
“Well, I don’t plan on getting myself involved with superhero business again any time soon. You took care of Markus, who apparently had a warrant out for his arrest already, so that won’t be an issue. Yeah, I think I’m good,” Alex explained.  
  
“So, you realized that I’m not staying,” James looked down at his plate.  
  
“I did,” Alex said softly as she twirled pasta around her fork. “You’ve already tried to leave before and after facing the shadowy organization that you kept trying to warn me about…well…”  
  
“You can see why I didn’t want to get you involved,” James finished the thought. “I wanted to keep you safe. That’s why I should have left. Instead I…”  
  
“Instead I made my own choices like a grown ass adult. James, we’ve had this conversation before,” Alex reached across the table and put her hand on his. “Have I been through some shit, yes, but I would have not made it out of that alley without you. I made my own choices and while I might be worse for wear, I don’t regret them.”  
  
James intertwined their fingers and brought her knuckles up to his mouth, kissing each one. Alex smiled and uncurled one of her fingers to run along his cheek. She wasn’t going to say the cliché line of maybe if they had met at a different time, under different circumstances because she couldn’t think of a scenario in which they would work. Any other time, any other place, and they would have been different people. This is what they had and they had to deal with that. This had to be enough.  
  
They held hands for the rest of the meal, not talking much, just being content with the moment. They did the dishes side by side, laughing when Alex accidentally spilled half a pot of soapy water down herself. It was all so terribly domestic that it would have seemed out of place if the lights were on. However, the candle light and the darkness let them imagine that they were somewhere else, removed from the world around them. Somewhere that would let this be more than just a one night occurrence.  
  
“You probably should let me take a look at that cut,” Alex said as she dried her hands, ignoring that the whole bottom half of her shirt was wet. “I may not be a doctor, but it should probably at least be disinfected.”  
  
“Your bandages could probably be changed too,” James agreed. He grabbed a candle, blew out the rest, and they walked into the bathroom.  
  
“I actually don’t think I have any,” Alex said. However, when she opened her medicine cabinet she found a new bottle aspirin and a note stating that there was a fully stocked first aid kit in her bedroom. She didn’t recognize the writing, but figured it was the Hill that everyone kept talking about since she was the one that came to collect her clothes. Sam hadn’t mentioned it when he had bandaged her up earlier.  
  
“Well, that was nice of them,” James said as he grabbed the aspirin and wet two washcloths before walking into the bedroom. Alex trailed behind him and as he grabbed the first aid kit and popped it open, she stripped out of the wet shirt and hoodie so she was just in her tank top and shorts.  
  
“You have less to wrap up, you should go first,” Alex pointed out and motioned for him to take his shirt off. James gave her a look, but then did what she asked. Alex might not have had a hold on her thoughts all day, but the sight of James without a shirt was enough to chase everything out of her mind for a few moments.  
  
“Everything alright?” James asked with a knowing smirk.  
  
“Shut up and sit down,” Alex glared as she took one of the wash clothes from his hand and started to clean the cut. James’s didn’t make a sound, but she watched his muscles jump as she scrubbed and cleaned. Alex then disinfected the wound, taking no joy in it since she figured her shoulder was going to hurt like a bitch.  
  
“I think that’s all it needs. What do you think?” Alex asked when she was done. It was when she looked up that she realized that she had positioned herself between his legs and was on her knees. James was looking down at her with a mixture of amusement and lust. It made Alex’s mouth go dry.  
  
“I think it’ll be fine,” James’s voice was husky. “Your turn.”  
  
“Joy of joys,” Alex sighed as she blushed and quickly got to her feet. She sat down on the bed and James leaned over her and started to take the bandage off of her shoulder. She kept her swearing to a minimum as he cleaned the wound.  
  
“Good news, I don’t think it’s infected,” James said as he started to wrap it back up.  
  
“Thank God for small miracles,” Alex hissed. James leaned down and kissed the skin that wasn’t covered by the bandage, his scruff scrapping against her skin. Alex tensed a little, not expecting it.  
  
“I’ll try to be gentler with the rest of them,” he said as he pressed a kiss to her cheek.  
  
Alex didn’t say anything as she let him clean and bandage the cuts on her wrist, not saying anything about the blistered skin, before he knelt down in front of her to look at the bruises that were on her ankles.  
  
“I don’t think we’re going to need to bandage these back up,” James said with her foot in his hand. “They are pretty bruised, but I don’t think the skin is broken at all.”  
  
“So, have I been downgraded from mummy?” Alex asked as he twisted to close up the first aid kit.  
  
“Yes, but I think more of your skin is bruised than not, so that might qualify you for another category,” James said turning back to look at her.  
  
“One eyed, one horned, flying purple people eater?” Alex offered and James just gave her a look. “Must have been after your time. Speaking of which, how old are you? Like when you went under? I don’t think I ever asked.”  
  
“Twenty-nine,” James said as he looked up at her. “Why?”  
  
“Curious, that’s all,” Alex shrugged. So what they were seven years apart. He had a metal arm and she had been using a mind control bracelet earlier in the day. Honestly it was not the weirdest thing about their relationship.  
  
“How old are you?” James ask, leaning back on his heels.  
  
“Ummm…twenty-two,” Alex tugged at one of her earrings. Alex watched as James did the mental calculations. She didn’t know why she was so nervous, it wasn’t like they were that far apart in age. When she was nineteen, she almost hooked up with a thirty year old, which was a horrible mistake on her part, but it wasn’t like their age gap bothered her. Her nervousness was because he was a good person, a good man, and if he thought she was too young, he would tell her and keep himself away from her. She didn’t want that. Not when he was leaving.  
  
“Seven years apart and you’re still bossing me around,” James finally said, shaking his head.  
  
“Don’t feel bad, there aren’t many people I don’t boss around,” Alex laughed.  
  
“That I can believe,” James looked up at her, his blue eyes dancing. “It takes a special person to out-stubborn Steve. Not to mention keep me so intrigued.”  
  
“Intrigued, is that all you are?” Alex asked as she leaned toward him, putting her elbows on her knees. She was well aware that he could look down her top if he wanted to, but she just smirked and tilted her head slightly to the side.  
  
James studied her a long moment, obviously making a decision, before a smirk slowly spread across his features.  
  
“That’s one word for it.” James leaned forward and kissed her. There was no hesitation this time, no desperation, no worrying about what was going to happen, just lips on lips. Alex leaned forward, almost falling off the bed, and tugged the ponytail holder out of his hair before tangling her fingers in it.  
**  
  
“Alex, Alex wait,” James said when they broke apart to breathe. “You know that I am leaving. Before we go any further I just, I don’t…I mean…”  
  
“James, I’m sure,” Alex cut him off before kissing him softly. “If you’re sure.”  
  
“I haven’t been this sure about anything in a long time,” James replied before he put his hands on either side of her face and kissed her. Alex smiled against his lips and felt him smile in return. One of her hands came out of his hair and she curled her fingers around his dog tags, pulling him closer, his skin burning her through her tank top.  
  
James’s lips traveled down to Alex’s neck, his scruff irritating her skin slightly. She moaned into his ear and he wrapped his free arm around her. He sucked a little on her skin, pulling another moan out of her. The hand in her hair tilted her head to the side to give him better access to her skin.  
  
Alex pulled him up and into the bed with her at this point. They both crawled up the bed, his body lying on top of hers, his lips kissing all the exposed areas that he could reach. Alex arched her back so that she was pressed against him. She tugged at his hair so that his lips came back up to hers. Her teeth grazed against James’s bottom lip. He groaned and that sound set her whole body on fire  
  
She wrapped her legs around him, pulling him down on top of her, before she started to kiss his neck. He breathed her name against her skin and she felt herself becoming wet, just from him saying her name. Her lips came up to his, the kisses becoming more needy and desperate. He rolled into her and she moaned. He took the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth and moved it against her own with skill she didn’t expect.  
  
James hands slipped underneath her tank top and they broke apart long enough for him to get it up over her head. Her own set of dog tags crashed back down against her skin and his lips found hers again. The tags seemed to burn her skin pressed between the two of them. There was a dull ache in her shoulder and wrist, but compared to the heat building in her stomach and the urge to have friction between her legs, it really wasn’t at the top of her list of priorities.  
  
Alex slipped her hand between them and undid the button on his pants, pushing them down as far as she could from her position. James kicked them off the rest of the way as his lips moved to her collar bone, and then the top of her breast. He looked up and met her eye, smiling at her, before he ran his tongue over her nipple. Alex arched into him as he focused his attention on her chest, unhooking her legs from him so he could move more freely. She tangled her fingers into his hair again as he kissed down her stomach.  
  
He panted against her skin as his fingers curled around the waistband of her shorts and slid them slowly down her legs, his lips following them. Alex let go his hair and dug her fingers into her sheets as he kissed the inside of her thighs and all the way down to her ankles, threw her shorts to the floor and then followed the trail up the other leg. When Alex could get a hold of him again, she pulled him up to kiss her again, her nails digging into his back.  
  
When he moved his lips back to her neck, she reached between them and rubbed her hand against his cock through his boxers. She felt the shiver go through him and he bit down harder on her skin, adding another bruise to her collection. At least she got this one from doing something fun. She continued, pulled a moan from deep in his chest, followed by a curse. He pulled away from her, looming over her as he propped himself up on his elbows and looked down at her. She stopped for a moment.  
  
“Alex, I…I don’t remember if I’ve done this before,” James admitted with his chest heaving and sweat on his brow. “It might be in there somewhere, but it’s a bit hard to concentrate when you are doing what you’re doing.”  
  
“Do you want to stop?” Alex panted.  
  
“No! No, I just…I wanted to let you know I guess,” James was flustered and it was adorable. “I might fumble around a bit.”  
  
“Well then,” Alex rolled them over so that she was on top of him and kissed him softly, “you are just going to have to let me take the lead this time.”  
  
James could have easily pinned Alex to the bed, he was heavier and stronger than her, and the thought excited her more than she wanted to admit. However, she had either taken him by surprise or he didn’t mind her being on top. At this point, Alex didn’t give a damn what position they were in, and moved her legs so that she was straddling him.  
  
“You act like I haven’t this whole time,” James said as his hands came up to rest on her waist. The way he looked up at her, his eyes dark with desire and his lips puffy from kissing, it was perfect. She looked at him for a moment, attempting to memorize it.  
  
Then Alex smiled down at him before she leaned down for a kiss. She then let her lips travel to his neck, nipping at the skin between his neck and shoulder. She kissed behind his ear, and then the scar tissue at his metal arm. His fingers tightened on her skin as she slid down him, her lips biting at his collarbone. He moaned out her name as he dug his fingers into her sides, scratching up her ribs to keep himself under control. She kissed her way down his chest, sucking a little here and there. She made sure to spend a little more time kissing the scars that she felt. She stopped right at the top of his boxers. She looked up at him, seeing his eyes watching her, and smirked at him before running her tongue right above the waistband.  
  
He squirmed underneath her and she sucked at the skin, causing him to moan again. She could feel his cock pressing against her through his boxers. She put her pointer fingers underneath the band and with one last kiss to his stomach, moved to pull them off. He lifted up and she quickly threw them onto the floor. She bit her lip when she saw him completely naked. It was a sight that deserved to be in a museum somewhere. She leaned forward and ran her tongue from the base of his cock all the way to the tip and he said something in Russian that sounded like an elaborate curse.  
  
Alex crawled up the bed, kissing him softly on the lips, as she reached into her bedside table drawer and pulled out a condom. She always kept them in her room, though she didn’t usually bring men to her place. Better to be safe than sorry.  
  
“Do you know how to put one of these on?” Alex asked with a smirk and James rolled his eyes at her. He plucked it out of her hand and as she crawled back down the bed he put the condom on. Once he had, she straddled him again, leaning down to kiss him. She rubbed her entrance against his cock, causing him to tangle his hand into her hair and pull her down against him. His teeth pulled at her bottom lip as his other hand traveled down between her legs.  
  
“I thought you’d never done this before,” Alex panted against his skin as his finger brushed over her clit.  
  
“I do know basic anatomy,” James clarified, his own voice breathless. Alex lay there for a few minutes, letting him tease her some more, making her body shake at his touch, before she sat up. She reached down, grabbing his penis and positioning herself. She bit her lip and moaned as she sat down on top of him. James’s closed his eyes and his fingers dug into the sheet. Alex put her hands on his chest and let herself adjust to him. Honestly she was so intoxicated with hormones, the room was spinning a little.  
  
James moved his hands up to her waist when she started to move on top of him. She lightly scratched down his chest before planting her palms and moving with a bit more purpose. Her name tumbled off his lips as he tilted his head back. Alex panted and let herself enjoy the feeling, the heat in her veins, the tension building in her stomach, the sight of him coming undone underneath her. Part of her wanted to get her orgasm and the other didn’t ever want this to end.  
  
There was only so much James could take. He sat up, his metal arm coming around her back to hold her to him while his other hand gripped her hip. Alex moved against him, panting against his mouth, as he started to roll his hips to match her. They stopped kissing, just panting as she moved closer and closer to her climax. James moved forward and bit down on her lip as he thrust up into her.  
  
“Ты прекрасна , и я буду править вами” James said into her ear. She had no idea what it meant, but him growling Russian in her ear was hardly a bad thing.  
  
“Я хочу услышать, как ты стонать всегда,” he continued once he felt how she reacted. Alex bit down hard on his neck as he put one hand on the bed to steady himself and started to thrust into her fiercely.  
  
“И я всегда буду жаждать вас,” He said right into her ear as both of their movements became erratic. They were so close.  
  
“Я хочу, чтобы вы всегда кричите мое имя,” he panted. That was enough, with a scream of his name Alex came, her fingers digging into his back. James was right after her, and she had a feeling it was sheer will that had let him hold on that long. All of his training had found an unexpected purpose. She rested her head against his shoulder, feeling her lungs expand to their fullest in an attempt to get in more oxygen.  
  
“Вы свет в темноте,” James said against her hair as they sat there, intertwined, holding one another.  
  
“I still don’t speak Russian,” Alex laughed as she as she pulled back and looked at him.  
  
“Я знаю. так что я могу сказать, что я люблю тебя,” James said softly, pushing sweat drenched hair out of her face.  
  
She kissed him lightly as she moved so that he was no longer inside of her. She felt strangely empty and hollow, like that simple and natural act finalized that he was going to be leaving her. That thought was pushed away, she was going to ignore it until it could not be ignored.  
  
They were both quiet as they cleaned each other up and got rid of the condom. The rain was still pounding against the window and thunder rumbled over the city. Alex laid down, exhausted, but the memory of the nightmare made it so she didn’t close her eyes. James was very quiet, but she could tell that he was thinking about something as he lay down himself.  
**  
  
“Are you…are you okay?” Alex asked, rolling onto her stomach and looking over at James. Anxiety cut through the buzz of her orgasm as she waited for James to say something. He was laying on his back looking up at the ceiling.  
  
“I think I’m fine for the first time in a long time,” James said, turning his head so that Alex could see his smile. She couldn’t help but smile in return.  
  
“Funny, I was about to say the same thing,” Alex smiled.  
  
“Really?” James looked a little surprised and Alex couldn’t pass up the opportunity to tease him.  
  
“You’re a bit rusty, Tin Man, I have to admit, but I have no complaints,” Alex said giving him a smirk. James leaned over and stopped a few inches from her lips.  
  
“I guess I’ll just have to practice, won’t I?” The thought made Alex’s stomach flip. She was sated and slightly sore, but just the thought of his lips on hers again sent a jolt through her. At the last moment he pressed the kiss to her forehead instead, waiting a long second as if to memorize the moment. Then he pulled her against him as he laid back down. She snuggled next to him, her head resting against his chest. The sound of his heartbeat so comforting that Alex could barely keep her eyes open.  
  
“You won’t leave tomorrow without saying goodbye, will you?” Alex asked around a yawn. She had this fear that he would just disappear the way he came, without a sound and without warning. He had seen her one last time, he could leave in the middle of the night and she would wake up alone.  
  
“I’ll be here when you wake up,” James promised. Alex wrapped her arm around him and listened to the beating of his heart and the sound of the rain against the window pane.  
  
Alex awoke to the smell of coffee. For a moment she wondered if she was dreaming, but then felt the bed move on the other side. She pealed one eye lid back and saw James sitting up in bed, still not dressed, a mug of coffee on the bedside table and scribbling in a notebook.  
  
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” James said when she moaned slightly. “Go back to sleep.”  
  
“When did you get up?” Alex ignored him as she rolled onto her side.  
  
“I didn’t go to sleep,” James continued to write in the notebook, his hand flying across the page.  
  
“What are you writing? In my notebook?” Alex sat up and pushed sleep-tangled hair out of her face.  
  
“It had a layer of dust on it and you had only written the date on the top of two pages,” James stopped writing at looked at her to see if she was angry.  
  
“That’s because I gave up taking notes in that class after the second week,” Alex reached over and took the coffee mug out of his hand. She took a sip, expecting it to be black, and was pleasantly surprised to find it had milk and sugar in it. She leaned her head back against the headboard and studied him.  
  
“What time is it,” she asked, realizing that the bedroom was still rather dark.  
  
“Around five,” James said without looking at any clock. Alex was going to ask him how he knew that, but then stopped herself. She didn’t doubt that it was true for a second.  
  
“I should turn off my alarm then,” Alex sighed as she slipped out of bed, grabbed his shirt, and padded into the kitchen. She brought the phone back into the room and plugged it in after turning off the alarm.  
  
“Not going running this morning?” James asked with a raised eyebrow over his reclaimed coffee mug.  
  
“I think I got more than enough of a work out last night, thank you,” Alex smiled as she settled back down into bed.  
  
“I don’t know,” James put his coffee cup down and rolling over to look at her. “I think you could probably do with a little cardio.” He pulled Alex across the bed so that she was underneath him. His lips were soft and warm when he kissed her and the heat from his body warmed her from her short walk across the apartment. Then his tongue traced her bottom lip and he started to warm up her insides as well.  
**  
  
“James,” Alex sighed against his lips.  
  
“You said I needed a bit of practice,” James said before she could say anything else. His metal hand cupped her face while his other hand slipped between the two of them, and then down between her legs. He continued to kiss her as his hand pushed her thighs apart, his finger slowly rubbing against her clit. Alex bit down on his lip, dragging her teeth.  
  
James stopped teasing her and gently stripped his shirt off of her, tossing it back onto the floor. He was already hard as he laid down against her, his lips soft and playful. Everything was a lot lazier and relaxed, though no less intense. James muttered to her in Russian, smiling against her lips as he felt her body react to each word. In return, she whispered and moaned his name against his ear.  
  
At some point James reached over and pulled a condom from her store. He continued to kiss her, his lips traveling down to her breasts, teasing her nipples, as he slid the condom on. For as much as he was flustered about not ever having done this before, or not remembering it, he was very skilled. He came back up and kissed her, swallowing her moan as he entered her.  
  
They broke apart and Alex wrapped her fingers into his dog tags as he put his hand on the mattress at her head. He thrust into her slowly and she tugged on the dog tags, biting her lip to stop a moan. James continued to thrust into her, saying things in Russian that she didn’t understand, as her fingers gripped onto his dog tags and the other hand onto his back. James’s fingers gripped onto the bed sheets and he moved more frantically against her, his free hand running down her sides.  
  
Alex let go of his dog tags, worried that she would snap the chain or strangle him, and moved her hand down between them, stimulating her clit as he continued to thrust into her. James seemed to take that as a bit of a challenge and started to roll his whole body, making the headboard hit against the wall. Alex gasped out his name, God’s name, and a lot of incoherent noises as her legs came up to wrap around him. When she was at the edge she moved her hand out of the way and rolled up into him, her nails marking his back.  
  
James came first this time, moaning her name as he did so. However, as he continued to move inside her at the end of his climax, he slipped his hand between them and stimulated her until she came as well. He kissed her as they both came down from the high and for some reason they both started laughing. They were deep, honest, laughs, and soon they were both in hysterics. They couldn’t even stop laughing long enough to ask why they were.  
  
“We should probably clean up,” Alex said between giggles as she grabbed wet wipes out of her bedside table drawer. She always kept some with her condoms, she hated feeling messy after sex or masturbating. She handed a few to James before she took care of herself.  
**  
  
“Good work out,” Alex joked after they had cleaned up a bit. James laughed and kissed her. They didn’t need to know why they were laughing, it was enough that they were.  
  
“You know,” James said as he turned back to his cup of coffee. “You never told me where that third tattoo was,”  
  
Alex let the sheet slip off of her and raised her right arm to show a small black tattoo. It was the diagram of a chemical structure, but there was no script to say what it was. James studied it for a moment, attempting to figure it out, but eventually he shook his head and just leaned forward to kiss the skin instead. A shiver passed through Alex and her fingers curled into the sheets.  
  
“What does it mean?” James asked when he leaned back.  
  
“It’s the chemical formula for what is responsible for the feeling of love,” Alex explained, blushing a little. It wasn’t as bad as the Latin on her back, but still pretty bad. However, understanding that love was just chemicals in her brain had gotten her out of a lot of bad relationships. It was more to remind her that she had no control over her emotions, the chemicals bouncing around in her brain, but she did over her actions. She rarely explained that to people though.  
  
“So now I have seen the whole collection,” was all James said. “Unless you are hiding another one from me.”  
  
“Nope, that’s all of them. For now,” Alex said with a smile. They laid there for a while, passing the coffee mug back and forth, Alex leaning against his chest, and watching the sunlight move across the bedroom floor.  
  
The alarm on Alex’s phone started to go off, causing them both to jump.  
  
“I thought you turned that off,” James said with a laugh.  
  
“For my run I did, this one is reminding me that I have to get ready for work,” Alex sighed as she got out of bed. She kicked around the clothing on her floor until she found her work uniform. She was sure that it smelled awful, but she just grabbed her body spray and kept spraying until all you could smell was jasmine and lavender.  
  
“Right,” James had a far off look in his eyes and he lay in the bed, his finger tapping against the side of the coffee mug.  
  
“Will you say goodbye to me after my shift? I should be done by like 2. I promise I won’t ask you to say again after that, but…I don’t think I’ll make it through the shift if I say goodbye beforehand,” Alex explained as she ran a brush through her hair viciously.  
  
“I have a few things I have to wrap up in the city anyway,” James got out of bed and walked over, spun her to face him, placed his hand behind her neck as he kissed her forehead. “I’ll see you when you get out of work.”  
  
“Alright, I’m going to jump in the shower,” Alex said, though she just stood there with one hand on his chest.  
  
“I’ll probably be gone when you get out, but I promise to be at the restaurant at 2,” James said as he let go of her and started collecting his clothes from the night before. Alex watched him move around naked for a bit, before she grabbed clean underwear. On her way past him she went up and kissed him on the cheek. He wrapped his arm around her waist like it was the most natural thing and kissed her cheek in return.  
  
Alex found herself singing in the shower, after de-mummifying herself, though she did wince while the water pounded against her bruises and cuts. She refused to let herself be sad until she got out of the shower. She used a body scrub, careful to not to get it into the wounds, and then used her shampoo and conditioner. She also shaved, which was more painful and complicated than usual.  
  
As she started her makeup routine, her thoughts turned to what the rest of the day was going to be like. It was going to be painful, both physically and emotionally. Mrs. Malone couldn’t put her on the floor due to the fact that she looked like hell, which meant another shift on dishes. Also, with the bandages, she needed to wear those lovely yellow gloves that went to your elbows, which were not her favorite.  
  
That had nothing to do with what was going to happen afterwards. Her heart ached at the thought of saying goodbye, never seeing James again, to the point that she couldn’t even cry. It just made her feel empty, like someone scooped out her insides. She gripped onto the edge of the sink and cursed herself.  
  
She was in a lot of trouble.  
  
Alex pushed the thoughts out of her mind and grabbed her iPod for her walk to work because she couldn’t be left alone with her thoughts. She grabbed a baseball cap off the coat rack, her army coat, her purse, and walked out into the hallway. She had to move quickly to get to work and was breathless by the time she got to the restaurant.  
  
The shift was brutal, but not in the ways that Alex thought. It started with Mrs. Malone pulling her into the office and crying all over her for about a half an hour. Then she lectured her for another hour, and then cried for another fifteen minutes. Alex was a bit unsure what to do so she went through the motions of comforting her and listening to her lecture. The whole time she had to remember not to smile, but she felt extremely loved. Finally, she sent her back to do the dishes, both women having slightly red eyes.  
  
Mrs. Malone allowed her to listen to her iPod in the back, Alex was pretty sure that Mrs. Malone would have let her murder someone at that point, so she didn’t think too much about James. The aching in her chest only grew as the hours passed and her music became angrier. She was slightly worried she even had that much angry music on her iPod.  
  
Alex left a couple minutes after two, ducking out the back of the restaurant to avoid Mrs. Malone. She made sure that her coworkers told her where Alex went and planned to text her when she got home. The idea of walking through an alley gave Alex heart palpitations, and she almost ran to get to the main street.  
  
James was leaning against the side of the restaurant building, one foot against the bricks, arms crossed, and looking down at his feet. He was in the cream colored thermal, leather jacket, and black jeans, looking every bit like a male model. Alex’s heart soared at the sight of him and then crashed back down when she realized why he was there. She just stood there for a moment, looking at him, memorizing him.  
  
He felt her eyes on him and looked up, smiling when he saw her. A smile that put the sun to shame. He pushed off the wall and walked over to her. Without hesitating, he kissed her on the cheek, his hand lingering on her side. He smelled like he showered and put on some cologne. He smelled fantastic.  
  
“How was work?” He asked as they walked down the street a bit so that the people in the restaurant could not see them through the windows.  
  
“It was work. Mrs. Malone only lectured at me for two of the six hours I was there,” Alex smiled as she leaned against him.  
  
“Honestly, someone needs to lecture you,” James smiled down at her, but his eyes were sad. He pushed the hair out of her face and blocked her from the autumn wind.  
  
“So, where are you heading?” Alex asked, pushing away from him and putting a little steel in her spine. She felt as if her heart was about to burst, but she was also feeling strangely numb. She just had to keep it together until James left. Then she planned to go back to her apartment and sob all day.  
  
“You know I’m not going to tell you that,” James smirked at her.  
  
“It was worth a try.” Alex looked down at her feet. She didn’t know what to say. She thought she would be able to say goodbye, she knew that she had to say goodbye, but the words wouldn’t come out of her mouth. She felt like she was going to stand there until she froze to death before saying goodbye.  
  
“Alexandra, we can’t stand here forever,” James’s voice was low as he touched her cheek to make her look up at him. “It’s time to go back to Kansas.”  
  
“I know, I know,” a tear escaped her eye. “I was just getting up the courage to say it.”  
  
“If there is one thing that you have more than your fair share of, it’s courage,” James smiled down at her. “I don’t want to say it either.”  
  
“I guess it’s time for both of us to leave Oz,” Alex smiled as a few more tears slipped out of her eyes.  
  
“Or for me to go back to Oz depending on how you look at it,” James smiled, but it was strained. This was just as hard for him as it was for her. She wondered what was going through his mind, what he was thinking, because all she could think about was how much she was going to miss him. That and how much safer she was going to be when he was gone. It was nearly tearing her in two.  
  
“So, goodbye I guess,” Alex said, looking up at him.  
  
James reached out and pulled her against him, his lips finding hers as if they had been kissing for years. It was slow and it was passionate and it was heartbreaking. Alex gripped onto his jacket and kissed him back. She wanted him to know all the things that she was thinking and feeling, but never told him. She needed him to know that she loved him without her ever saying the words.  
  
“Take care of yourself,” James voice shook when they broke apart. “I know that you have people looking out for you, but I won’t be one of them.”  
  
“I’ll do my best,” Alex laughed a little as she smoothed down the wrinkles that she caused in his jacket. “Take care of yourself too. You won’t have me keeping you out of trouble.”  
  
That made James laugh, an actual laugh that started in his stomach. Alex joined in and wiped the tears off her cheeks. She looked up at him and the way that he was looking at her almost broke her heart. Those eyes that had been so dead before were so expressive now.  
  
“Here,” Alex said on impulse as she handed out her IPod and charger to him.  
  
“Why are you giving me this?” James asked as she dropped it into his hand.  
  
“I just…I want you to have something to remember me by and this is the only thing I have. Besides, you need to get up to date in terms of music,” Alex rambled.  
  
“Alex, you’re pretty hard to forget, even for a guy who loses his memory often” James smiled as he looked down at the iPod. “Besides, I might have stolen that notebook I was writing in earlier. And what are you going to listen to on your runs?”  
  
“Well, it just so happens that someone left me an envelope full of money the other day. I could buy a new one. As for the notebook, it won’t be missed,” Alex bit her lip and prayed that he took the iPod. For some reason it would be easier for her to part with him if he took something of hers other than her heart.  
  
“Wonder who that was.” James looked over the iPod for a few moments before he slipped it into his jacket pocket. Alex sighed and smiled a little at him.  
  
The smile slid off of James’s face and he muttered something in Russian. He pushed the hair out of his face and looked around, as if he was looking for the answer to a question. He didn’t seem to find it because he swore under his breath when he looked back at her.  
  
“It’s going to be fine,” Alex said as she took his hand. “I know it’s hard to live without me, but you’ve done it before. James, you’re going to be fine.”  
  
“Alexandra, I’m not the same man I was before, because I met you.” James pushed the hair out of her face as she blushed. She had nothing to say to that. James shifted forward and kissed her forehead, lingering there for a moment.  
  
“The Tin Man needed a heart,” James said as he looked down at her.  
  
“No,” Alex went up onto her tiptoes and kissed him softly. “The Tin Man had a heart all along, he just didn’t see it in himself.”  
  
“I’m going to miss you,” James placed his forehead against hers and tangled his hand into her hair.  
  
“You’ll always know where to find me,” Alex said, put her hands on his chest for a moment, feeling his heart beat, before she pushed off of him, putting distance between them. The late autumn air seemed a lot colder than moments before.  
  
They stared at each other for a moment before she gave him one last smile, turned, and started walking home. She didn’t look back, but she didn’t doubt that he would tail her to make sure she got home safely. However, she didn’t think about that. She thought about the week she had just had. Who knew that you could fall in love in a week? Yet she had. Alex would never forget what happened since he saved her in the alley that night. But she was just a simple girl from the Midwest, he was a superhero.  
  
It sounded like a bad pop song.  
  
Alexandra flipped up the collar of her army jacket, and put her ball cap backwards. It was fifteen blocks to her apartment and she had an exam she needed to study for.  
  
****Alex Will Return****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Russian Translation in Order of appearance  
> \- You’re beautiful , and I will rule over you  
> \- I want to hear you moan always  
> \- And I will always crave you  
> \- I want you to always yell my name  
> \- You are the light in the dark  
> \- I know. so I can say I love you


End file.
